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We recently met a couple where we only knew the woman before. She told us that her male friend would be plenty of fun for my wife. We both were thinking he was most likely be big even though she said that want the case. Most of our previous play has centered on two women playing and that led to full swinging. We met our friend and her male friend for drinks at a bar we go to. Our meeting went very well and we agreed to go play. I always feel strange and never am sure how to initiate things. As in previous meetings the girls started and I and the new friend joined in. I definitely didn’t finish too fast even if it was well before my wife and her play partner. I watched them go in and on and I got hard again and went for a second time. I thought I went pretty long and then realized my wife never stopped. I’m figuring they went non-stop for at least two hours. My wife and our friend finally got him to finish after another half hour of oral sex. I felt very inferior that night.

What I read in a recent post made me want to say this. For a situation in which you are trying to encourage a person to try something new, like swing, having alcoholic beverage as a facilitator is not, really, a good idea. If you are not able to get into it completely sober, you should not get into it. Now, after you do get into it and you are in the company of people who also are into it, getting buzzed or blasted is appropriate. And that's all I want to say on the subject.

Three years ago I had a life changing experience and it was remembered by the friend who changed it. She sent me a bottle of wine, a rose, a chocolate penis and wonderful card with a beautiful handwritten note. Three years ago after meeting my friend at a Rutgers-Penn State football game and the weather turned cold and snowy icy I stayed with my friend and her guy friend at a hotel. It was an innocent invitation I thought. To this day I don’t know how I allowed things to happen. It sure changed my life. What started as a cuddle by my friend ended up as my first experience with a girlfriend. I think what certainly changed my life was having sex with her guy friend. It was the guy that made me admit to my boyfriend what I did. Even though it was the girl friend sex that was what was the new thing I never thought of before, it was the cheating with a guy that made me tell. It was my admission that led to my marriage I am sure.

I agree. Drunk people and sober people don't mix too well. The best experiences are playing with like minded people.

Apparently telling my wife that I want to "Stuff her like a Thanksgiving turkey" was not considered sexy talk at all!!! I don't know how that line did not get her motor running!!

Not a fantasy of mine or hers. There is more to swinging than men lining up to fuck her. If she wants to have sex with one or two or three men I am happy for her. I know she enjoys more than a fuck, she likes the play leading up to that.

Yes you....the three of you have a fairly true poly relationship. We both have been involved with others in poly relationships...sharing lives as significant other to each other. Try hard to not define it. Try very hard to not set precedence, rule or restraint. For the three of you let this unfold. If you three can be in day to day life a full living sharing threesome it is very meaningful. The world, those around you can make life difficult....ignore them....you three be yourselves. HEZZAH!

These were my thoughts too. I would try to just enjoy the moment for what it is without trying to think too much about defining what it actually is, then in due time I the true answer will probably reveal itself. edit - Padoc beat me to the words while I was typing out my post, so there's two votes for the what it is approach

Damn!! That guy from the Burgh is right again!!!! Enjoy it for what it is. I too was somewhat envious in reading your post, it sounds like a lovely situation. The fact that you've known her for a long time and played with her prior to this situation means that most, if not all of the surprises have already been revealed. It was kind of you to take her in. That it developed from there is a wonderful bonus.

Do you remember how you felt at first when you found that special person, perhaps your husband? The wonderful moments, the thought that you wanted to see him again so very soon? That's the feeling that apparently all three are having right now. I feel so envious of you - in a good way. Do you remember at the same time how you were slightly worried that this might not last? But even if it didn't, you'd still remember this wonderful period? It may not last with the girlfriend, many, many things could possibly happen. But one of the things that might happen is the three of you will create your own family that will be celebrating Thanksgiving twenty years from now. Enjoy this for what it is, hope it's something special that will last.

Sounds like it to me. The only red flag to me is that six weeks is an awfully short time. Rebound sex plus some NRE might easily be mistaken for love. Personally I would rein in my enthusiasm. Make sure no one makes any decisions in this matter. Meanwhile , as friends you can supply a solid, safe, even intimate space in which she can heal. In the long run? Maybe you end up as a triad, maybe as very good friends with a pleasant history. Committing too early though sounds dangerous to both friendship and your marriage.

Happy Thanksgiving I too enjoy reading of your experiences and love that you always turn any negative into a positive. First experiences should be remembered as positives and the awakening of sexuality. Unfortunately planned firsts sometimes don’t live up to expectations. Unplanned firsts can be hit or miss. What I truly enjoy in your journey is how close you are to your friends. Enjoy your ongoing journey and new experiences. I’ll be cheering on your team.

Numex I could have any of the above posters answer your questions because they are the ones who have guided me through the beginnings and my choices. 1. I was monogamous at the time of my first contact. No I wasn’t a virgin. The guy with us was a stranger and I allowed things to happen. 2. My guilt was I allowed another man to be intimate with me. I can’t answer if I would have told my bf about being with my girlfriend. I may have. 3. My then boyfriend actually left me when I confessed my infidelity. He didn’t accept what I did. It took time to convince him that my confession was an act of love, the love we had for each other. What we went through was very complicated and tears were shared.

Three years, and a cold day in NJ. This weekend the game is in Happy Valley and I’m sure it will be cold again. Yes I had plenty of questions after that day, sexuality and guilt were just a few. Looking back I still have some questions and I’m sure in the future I’ll be talking to a shrink with the same questions I now only admit on here. To me it’s funny that I came to strangers for answers and didn’t listen to most of you. A few were encouraging most said don’t play with people in my everyday life. Little did I know three years ago that so many of my girlfriends in school were doing this. Was I just naïve? I always thought I had street smarts. Don’t think I can agree about your last line. We Are.....