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This has been our experience too. We haven't totally eliminated either approach in favor of the other for the future, but there is a lot to be said for having this type of comfort and connection with another couple...it just allows you to go to different places and take things to a whole another level.

If my wife is ok with romantic, so am I, it's a turn on for me and nothing wrong with caring. Early on my wife was a little disturbed/curious about all the texts and emails between me and another wife. She read them and said, somewhat disappointedly, "These are all about the museums and the theater." (My wife is happy when I don't drag her to those places.) Swinging for us and our partner couples isn't solely about "same kind of sex, different person," it is doing things that we don't do (sexual or otherwise) with one another for whatever reason.

Thanks to all of you who posted. We packed according to your suggestions and had a great time. If you would like to read about our first experience, here is the link... https://www.swingersboard.com/forums/topic/63661-going-to-our-first-club-this-saturday/ Thanks again!

Online chatting is a good way to break the ice and do some initial connecting and vetting, but from my personal preferences, I agree that the real chemistry comes when meeting in person. You can often cover a lot of bases about compatibility and attitude from spending a good amount of time talking online first, and that makes the initial meeting much easier – or help decide that you shouldn’t meet after all.

That's a difficult question to answer. What the swinging environment is like depends a lot on the specific club or party. A swingers party can cover the range between 1) a hedonistic writhing mass of naked bodies taking up every inch of floor space, to 2) a group of friends sitting around someone's house chatting and socializing and then by the time everyone is tired and ready to go home, realizing that they were enjoying themselves so much they forgot that they in fact are swingers and this in fact was a swingers party, yet everyone forgot to get naked and have sex Clubs are sort of the same way. We've walked into clubs were the sexual energy smacking you in the face as soon as you stepped through the door. We have also been to clubs that were like walking into a small town neighborhood bar. I guess if there is one constant it would be the people. Swingers tend to be pretty relaxed and easy to make friendly conversation with. That seems to hold true about anywhere you go.

Simply put, it was awesome. We had a really good time. Hosts were very welcoming. Everyone was social. We both got a lot of compliments on our attire. Talked with about a dozen couples, a few of which were newbies like us. We did meet a couple that only soft swaps. We spent sometime in the hot tub with them where the women started to play with each other while sitting on our laps. Myself and her SO were both given permission to let our hands wander. We did bring it to a room where we all played together, soft only. May seem a little odd,but, I told Mrs R that while we were playing one of the things I enjoyed was the conversation that was happening at the same time. I think that is because it shows how it is totally casual, no one is judging and we all just want to enjoy ourselves. Watching Mrs R eat out the other women was really hot too! Funniest part was the security guard that came into the room, we intentionally left the door open, telling us that we had to put our name on the door. Basically, reserving the room for ourselves. We all got a good laugh in on that! Afterwards, we went back to the club and talked with quite a few more people before calling it a night. We were exhausted by the time we got home, but, this morning Mrs Rock put her outfit back on for me to make up for it. Definitely a great first experience and we both agreed that we will be going back.

How many of you ladies would enjoy watching you man give another man a blow job as his ladie is eaten you pussy.

For me sex is hot as long as it is anonymous. The first few times are the best. We have become friends with many of them, but then the relationship becomes plain vanilla and sex goes out of the window with that person.

Sure would be nice if men would spend a little more time worrying about something they can do something about like the shape of the rest of their body instead of if their penis is big enough or not! If you are in good shape, good looking and have a good attitude the size of your cock doesn’t matter. You will get some. If you are in bad shape, ugly and have a shitty attitude a giant cock isn’t going to help you get some.

We like to be with one or two couples at a time. We find things more comfortable that way. Not looking for a lot of notches on our bed posts.

New, the rules for soft-swap from couple to couple vary a little; you should be clear on the rules for yourself and the other couple before the foreplay starts. The most typical pattern is anything is allowed, except penetration of the penis in the vagina or rectum; oral is allowed and encouraged. It's not unknown for a man to come in the other woman's mouth, but again it should be stated beforehand that this is okay; or at least a very clear, "I'm coming," so the woman can back away.

We meet people for vanilla drinks or dinner. We both probably know if we would be inclined to play with the other couple after talking for 5-10 minutes. But we rarely play at the first meeting, unless it is the only chance (one couple comes from far away or we are on a lifestyle vacation).

When my Hubby and I are in full animal-mode, I want him to try more kink than he already had. I did have a finger full of another guy's cum and got him to lick it and he has been able to tell the different tastes like I do, besides, seeing him have cum on his tongue whether it's his or other's, I still get extra wet. Laura Laura and Dave vegasnudecoupl

We are similar, in the sense that we know each other well enough that most decisions and impulses are like instinct. Our gut feelings are informed by having both talked through a great multitude of scenarios and also experiencing a decent variety, over the past years. We talk about interests and concerns regularly, and we both know that they could change frequently as well. All in all, it has worked very well for us. Additionally, we started using a reference that we call The List, which touches base on practical expectations. This helps keep any guesswork out of the sorts of decisions that could come up during an encounter – simple or complicated. This is typically for date nights when off with another friend, but it is useful when we’re together with friends too. We cover things like how much communication is expected during the date, when you should be home, agreement on permission for specific activities, etc. The List usually has 6-8 items on it. Even though we have a strong sense of each other’s comforts, desires and concerns about our interactions with others, it is both helpful and a huge turn on when there is an actual list.

Funny story about last night. After we parked we sat in the car for a few minutes. Talking a little but mostly staring at each other thinking "Ok, who is going to open their door first?" I then said "OK, lets just do it" we both get out and we are no more than 10ft from our car and security comes up to us telling us politely that we're can't park there. We apologize, tell him we've never been here before, it's our first adventure and we're a little nervous. He tells us no worries and nothing to be nervous about. Then says hosts are good people and the members are a good crowd. He shows us were too park tells us to just enjoy ourselves. After that, we were both ok. How funny is that? Our nerves were calmed via a conversation with a security guard!

Mrs Rock picked up a awesome outfit. Nice dress, bottom is just above her thighs, short sleeves and shoulder straps with a xmas elf design and found a red and green bra and panty set. She looks really hot in it. Maybe she will let me post a picture. She should be home soon to start getting ready. Im home with our boys, packing their overnight bags for Nana and Papas, getting dinner ready (not certain if food will be served) and Im about get ready. I want Mrs R to not have to focus on anything when she gets home, except herself. Feels like the morning of my wedding. Knowing I have a list of stuff to do before hand and feeling like a chicken with my head cut off. Oh, and the nerves are starting to kick in! Posting this while in the garage, taking a smoke break, trying to keep my composure.

Kind of like being married Yes it's fun at first then it becomes less exciting. The only fix is to introduce new things. A little bondage play? Toys? The same things married couples do to keep things exciting. Like playing with new people. Maybe it's time to move on to another couple.

Other than the two couples we visit with regularly and the one single female, our experiences have all been "weekend-fling" type situations, usually one time only. It's contextual that she gets in a mood to do something daring and playful with me, and going out and flirting gets somewhere. We both feel that maintaining contact with those people after it's over would be more drama than it's worth. When she started out she needed people she already knew to feel comfortable, but now she's sort of come around to thinking that it's easier to be do something she still considers taboo with someone she doesn't have to deal with later. So far we haven't had any difficult experiences with people trying to push for too much. We keep the direct communication with our regular partners same-gender. She works out with the single female and is sort of "gatekeeper" for those dates, which is a role she's found she likes. I'd say we've had more drama from the world of vanilla men she has never so much as flirted with than anyone she's given an orgasm to. I suspect, but don't know, that most swinging is more of this kind of sporadic encounter than people maintaining lasting relationships. I'm sure 80% of what goes on in the world happens between people who never show up on forums or at clubs.

My guess is that it is "New Relationship Energy."

Thanks for the feedback on this. We’re headed to RM in October 2020. As I mentioned in OP, we’re not technically in the LS but some comments from my better half have given me a clue her mind might be warming to the possibility!

There are two schools of thought on this...there is the FWB camp and the NRE camp. Neither is right or wrong, just different. We are in the FWB camp. We want to get to know another couple and have a connection before we proceed. Others just want to be with a new couple a few times and then move on to the next couple. Different strokes for different folks, pick whichever is right for you and have fun!

Mrs. E is the same way, not into anal at all. I'd say most of the time, if it's not serial/taking turns, we end up with her starting by warming up with the new male and then I take the other end. It's almost always some variation of a spit roast and the exact configuration decides who plays with her breasts, etc. "Ski-poling" can happen and it's natural to take opposite sides, but it's usually in more comfortable MFMs with familiar males where we might get into something creative where we're all more physically comfortable.

I would like to try DP. I almost tried DVP. I was “in” a friend, another man asked if we wanted to try DVP. I got so turned on by the idea that I came immediately.

Interesting, when we're in an MFM situation with one of our other play couples, we usually split the woman along the two other axes. We guys each take a hole, but one is not her mouth. Instead we DP her, one in her pussy one in her ass. Also each guy takes one breast for himself. We're all right handed, so the guy in front plays with her left tit and the guy behind her right.

We do MFMs, it's very pleasant for my wife to be pleasured by two men at the same time. The first episode or two may be a little odd, but pretty soon you'll find your rhythm.

I started talking to my wife about eating her cum-filled pussy, and she brushed me off, saying that it was gross and dirty. After we had sex, I went down and teased her a bit, then she finally let me in for a taste. After that, she pretty much forces me to do it now every time. Very erotic.

Most of my Boyfriends were against eating other men's cum, but I convinced almost all of them to eat me out and clean my used pussy and ass. My hubby had already been a creampie lover when I met him, so to fill his mouth after a fuckbuddy (or more) became part of our play, then got him to join in. Laura

Sorry, I too don’t understand “bukkake”. I’m almost 60, and have been swinging for almost 40 years. If I’m sucking a guy’s cock, I expect to be rewarded with a hot load down my throat. If he’s in my pussy, that’s where I want to feel his cum, & if he’s in my ass……….well you get the idea. LOL - Molli