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Yes Yes Society and religion has taught us (especially women) that if you have sex with multiple people or too many people, you are a slut [period] Nothing else matters like if your partner was there, involved, and supporting what was happening. Doesn't matter if she enjoyed it (if fact, that makes it worse). Keep giving her the reassurance and support to make her feel more comfortable with it. Also, you really need to work on having her be able to open up and talk with you about this. Just keep on letting her know how much you love her and things should get better as she understands that she did nothing wrong.

New, the rules for soft-swap from couple to couple vary a little; you should be clear on the rules for yourself and the other couple before the foreplay starts. The most typical pattern is anything is allowed, except penetration of the penis in the vagina or rectum; oral is allowed and encouraged. It's not unknown for a man to come in the other woman's mouth, but again it should be stated beforehand that this is okay; or at least a very clear, "I'm coming," so the woman can back away.

Buy her flowers and take her to a nice dinner. Make her feel like a lady.

Bacon, unless there's touching, it's hard to see where the 'swap' comes in . . .

Gold, thank you so much! Good point on the religion thing! She is hispanic and raised Catholic. Yes I was going to approach it again after Christmas. I’ve made sure to be extra loving and attentive to make sure she knows my love has NOT changed.....thanks again!!!

Numex, thank you for the advice. I told her that she is in control of what happens.....and doesn’t happen. Also I’ve been extremely attentive and loving since it happened in the hopes that she realizes she did nothing wrong and I love her. Trying to make sure we just take baby steps.....thanks again!!

The other side of the "soft" spectrum would be same room no touch, voyeurism and exhibitionism only.

Thanks for this idea. Found boxer briefs, wife loves - I hate, with the oldschool cartoon version of Frosty. Mrs R didn't know about them until the pants came off, she was pleasantly surprised. A play by play would be a long post. A detail about our play time with the couple involves Mrs R and her oral skills. While I was licking our new friends pussy, Mrs R was sucking on her SO. At one point I heard her say "You are rock hard". He replied "I know, you are really good. I actually need you to stop because you're going to make me cum and I want to fuck my girl". Hearing that almost made me blow mine because I know exactly what he was feeling. The way Mrs R uses her tongue is mind(load) blowing. After we parted ways with that couple, we went back to the club and started chatting with another. A little older than us, its just a number anyway. During our conversation, she told me she had just turned 50 and her husband arranged a gang bang for her as her gift. They asked if we wanted to join them back in the house, but, we had already made the decision to head home (there is a down side to making a plan and sticking to it...lol) She told me their SLS profile and said that we need to join. She gave me a kiss and said they would see us at the next party. Had to make my way back to the hot tub after realizing I lost my Blackhawks koozie. Walked into a threesome, MFM, going on in the hot tub. When I got back outside, Mrs R was talking with another couple (have I mentioned that she is a social butterfly?). Couple our age, both attractive. Im introduced and join the conversation. They then invite us inside, immediately telling us they only soft swap. Another "next time"....dam you "stick to the plan"! We had a great time and are trying to figure out when we can go back. Oh, and I never found my koozie...

We have a regular group that hosts house parties so we all pretty much know each other. The regulars will often bring guests so we do get to mix it up a bit. Since we are all very comfortable with each other, we will play games, set up glory holes using a big bed sheet or will but names in bowls and play pick a partner. We do 2 on 1 nights where we make sure everybody gets treated to two partners. It’s always fun, safe and exciting.

We like to be with one or two couples at a time. We find things more comfortable that way. Not looking for a lot of notches on our bed posts.

Sounds like you had an awesome first time, that's great! The ovse4vatiin you made about a favorite part being how casual and relaxed it was, you are right on tye money there, that's one of our favorite parts too.

Thanks to all of you who posted. We packed according to your suggestions and had a great time. If you would like to read about our first experience, here is the link... https://www.swingersboard.com/forums/topic/63661-going-to-our-first-club-this-saturday/ Thanks again!

That's a difficult question to answer. What the swinging environment is like depends a lot on the specific club or party. A swingers party can cover the range between 1) a hedonistic writhing mass of naked bodies taking up every inch of floor space, to 2) a group of friends sitting around someone's house chatting and socializing and then by the time everyone is tired and ready to go home, realizing that they were enjoying themselves so much they forgot that they in fact are swingers and this in fact was a swingers party, yet everyone forgot to get naked and have sex Clubs are sort of the same way. We've walked into clubs were the sexual energy smacking you in the face as soon as you stepped through the door. We have also been to clubs that were like walking into a small town neighborhood bar. I guess if there is one constant it would be the people. Swingers tend to be pretty relaxed and easy to make friendly conversation with. That seems to hold true about anywhere you go.

When I learned about the Hot Wife term, I thought that was definitely true for us, but it seems there are many ways to apply that term – as with any labels like that – and some of them really didn’t fit us at all. We later came across “Stag & Vixen” which is much more our style, whether within the Hot Wife realm or other sexual circumstance (or even non-sexual). The freedom to explore the Vixen (hot wife) lifestyle is something I’ve always encouraged, whether together or separately. It is definitely more our style.

Simply put, it was awesome. We had a really good time. Hosts were very welcoming. Everyone was social. We both got a lot of compliments on our attire. Talked with about a dozen couples, a few of which were newbies like us. We did meet a couple that only soft swaps. We spent sometime in the hot tub with them where the women started to play with each other while sitting on our laps. Myself and her SO were both given permission to let our hands wander. We did bring it to a room where we all played together, soft only. May seem a little odd,but, I told Mrs R that while we were playing one of the things I enjoyed was the conversation that was happening at the same time. I think that is because it shows how it is totally casual, no one is judging and we all just want to enjoy ourselves. Watching Mrs R eat out the other women was really hot too! Funniest part was the security guard that came into the room, we intentionally left the door open, telling us that we had to put our name on the door. Basically, reserving the room for ourselves. We all got a good laugh in on that! Afterwards, we went back to the club and talked with quite a few more people before calling it a night. We were exhausted by the time we got home, but, this morning Mrs Rock put her outfit back on for me to make up for it. Definitely a great first experience and we both agreed that we will be going back.

Did she??

It was during our first foursome...my wife said playfully "I don't care who's, but I need somebody's dick inside of of me now!" Yes ma'am!!

Casual, nice slacks and a collared shirt as Adam says. For holiday themed party, Mrs Doc has bought a couple of Xmas boxers for me in case clothing starts to come off. Rudolph is always a hit!!

Don't expect anything to happen, this is just unnecessary pressure to force something that isn't right or ready. Plan on having a GREAT evening with your spouse and anything else is a bonus. Make sure that your rules are set and do not violate them. Realize that no matter what may or may not happen, you are going to have some super hot sex when you get home. Most important, however, is to have fun.

If it's going to be DP than I probably rather not be included and watch 2 other guys fuck her. I'm not a big fan of DP. I find it awkward and uncomfortable.

My husband has encouraged me to have his friend stay over when he travels for business. He asked why would I want to be alone at nights. He doesn’t stay as often as he first did even if we do enjoy our nights together. He is not my lover, he is a very good friend who I have relations with. I also have a girlfriend that stays over. My husband has a woman that he sleeps with on business trips. I am happy he isn’t alone all the time when he’s away.

All things being equal Anon I agree with Numex; if your girlfriend is all the qualities you want in a woman, and enjoys sex as much as she does to boot...why not marry her? A self-actualized woman who enjoys sex like she does is a thing to behold, and its wonderful to be part of her life.

If swinging is ultimately about sex with others and trust, why not be ok with swinging alone. Depending on the situation. My wife and I prefer to swing together but if she finds a hot guy and I know it’s safe, why would I mind if she plays alone? If there is so much trust and communication, don’t you want your spouse to go have fun. And yes, I have played alone as well. It’s never done behind the back. It’s always discussed beforehand and the rules still apply, meaning we both have veto power

'That was a lot of fun, when can we do it again?'

It was more of a question, "Do you want sloppy seconds?" You know what my answer was. I didn't ask until we were done screwing and oral whose cum it was

I'm still trying to find out why men have such a hangup over this. There is nothing more sexy that a man who's confident in who he is and what he wants. I've always thought that the biggest sex organ is between your ears. It's not what hangs between your legs. I'd much rather have a man who is 6 inches (my husband is your size, also.) who loves sex and loves to participate than one who is 9 inches and thinks that his cock is king and we are to worship it while he lies there and does nothing. (This would describe my ex) As Pretty lady said, the G-Spot is only about 3 inches up inside the vagina, and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that you don't need a bigger guy to satisfy. I LOVE sex with my husband. He is the PERFECT size and the PERFECT lover. Please, be comfortable in who you are and what you have and quit worrying.