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How Can you have sex without foreplay ? How can you have foreplay without kissing ? No kissing equals no sex for me.

Same here. There is no way for us to separate kissing from sex, and so since we know that no matter how hard we tried, we'd have problems respecting that boundary from the start, then we just don't put ourselves in that situation. Way too easy in the heat of the moment to go for a kiss without even thinking about it. If we've got to be thinking about it so hard that we're confident we wouldn't slip up, then that's not going to be a fun experience to start with, so we'll pass.

Mrs. E, even in her vanilla days, thought a handjob was far less significant than deep kissing, basically advanced hugging/massage. If there was a makeout session, there was probably a handjob. I can respect how some people have confused feelings about intimacy with a strange partner and feel that deep kissing is too much where some kinds of sex acts are not. Kissing, both on the mouth and body, is a must for both of us, though. Her views on head have tempered a lot, but in our eternal game of "Would You Rather", there's no way we're getting to intercourse with someone we can't make out with.

We never got it and won't meet with a couple with that rule. For us, kissing is a big part of foreplay. And beyond that, is there anything hotter than kissing a woman while she's orgasming on your cock???

If we didn’t want kissing to be part of sex we would hire a hooker! Neither one of us have had sex with someone without kissing. That will not be changing. No kissing is a big no thanks for us.

There is no HEDO 1. There used to be a HEDO 3 but closed. So there is only HEDO II. We like it there. We have been 16 times. We are not too choosy about the rooms as you only usually sleep there. You have to go at least once. If you are friendly and not a complainer you will have fun When to go is a hard choice. We go during Thanksgiving week. Don't have to use up two vacation days. People are generally older, like we are. The weather is good, and the rates are a little lower.

Kissing is part of sex. How can anyone have sex without kissing the person you are with. I need that kissing to be there before I am comfortable to do more. One partner asked me if it was okay to kiss and I told him you better kiss me if you want to go further. I have found it strange that people will be very intimate and then not want to kiss.

Yes, for me, kissing a woman while she's orgasming on another guy's cock. Especially if it's my wife.

I believe that she means that it was almost religious, a "holy" experience.

This is exactly our line of thinking. No kissing for us would require too much thinking about something that is just supposed to happen naturally. Like I said earlier, if that’s someone’s thing, then so be it. I just don’t understand why people don’t read anything because it clearly states that in the opening section of our profile on every site we’re on.

Watching each other having sex with others is a big turn on for us, in my case I like to "perform for him". The first time I saw him having sex with someone else was not hard at all I actually remember felling very thrilled by the hole experience.

We don't usually play separately, but fortunately we have had very good experiences when we have done it.

No oral sex will be a showstopper for us.

I wouldn't DO anything to her. I'd try to discover what gives her pleasure and then hopefully share in her pleasure. Hint: Swinging is basically run by the women, they set the limits and they tend to choose the partners and they decide when or if to have sex. No one DOES my wife!! They share HER, they meet HER needs or SHE walks away. OP has a LOT to learn.

Lately I am addicted to my girlfriends pussy while my husband is inside her. I love watching them together and pleasuring them both - can’t get enough.

Yes, and the safety; the safety to go bareback, the safety to play alone, the safety to watch each other's children. The trust really moves the play along.

We have a regular group that hosts house parties so we all pretty much know each other. The regulars will often bring guests so we do get to mix it up a bit. Since we are all very comfortable with each other, we will play games, set up glory holes using a big bed sheet or will but names in bowls and play pick a partner. We do 2 on 1 nights where we make sure everybody gets treated to two partners. It’s always fun, safe and exciting.

Lee, we don't 'direct' per se. We're very experienced, I normally let Mary develop the encounter, particularly with new men, as she desires. I like to watch to start. I just get a feeling for when it's time for me to jump in, and it works great for us. I guess you could say we go with the flow.

Damn, that is some crazy shit. I mean seriously, wtf? How does anyone think something like that is going to turn out well for them? I know, I'll threaten and stalk them and that will make them give us a second look and maybe change their minds and want to have sex with us. Or second option, they might take a wee bit of offense to this and I'll get my ass beat or shot. What a dumbass asshole...and an obviously blind one.

Shortly after we moved to Florida (summer 2006) we were contacted by a couple on sls. The age was right and they lived close by. The husband even opened their private pictures. Turns out that their definition of h/w/p was way different from ours so we replied that we weren't a match and wished them well. I then received a number of additional emails that got progressively more obscene and confrontational. The last one described the front of our home and our Bassett hound and he stated that my wife was fat and he'd maybe stop by one day just to meet her. I replied that we usually had 3-somes, me, Mrs Doc and our good friend Mr Glock. I told him he was welcome to stop by anytime, Mr Glock would welcome him. Then I blocked him. This was the photo in which he described Mrs Doc as a fat bitch. Go figure!!

I was listening to Justin Lehmiller or was it Dr. Chris Donaghue yesterday. They said that Sex is not listed as addiction in the DSM. So, by my reasoning, if you can't bill it to insurance - it doesn't exist.

Finding another couple where there is a 4 way connection is not easy...in fact it is very hard, but when you do find it, it is awesome! For us, we would just rather invest the time and effort until we can find other couples that click. We enjoy watching our partner enjoy themselves and if one of us isn't there then watching can be difficult. As a result, we can't really help you with rules to proceed other than encouragement to keep looking for that 'right' couple.

LOL! Yes, you are right: what passes for normal in most of society would lead some to brand swingers as sex addicts, or at the very least, sexually deviant. And apparently, there's a "cure" for that! (I'm passing!)

For me an addiction is a biochemical dependency. There are lots of things people do too much but are not a true dependency. Hell I'm sure at points in my life I'd be considered a computer game addict, and yet it wasn't a dependency, just something I liked to do which took to much of my time. Lets look at a list of symptoms.... Behaviors associated with sexual addiction include: * Compulsive masturbation (self-stimulation) * Multiple affairs (extra-marital affairs) * Multiple or anonymous sexual partners and/or one-night stands * Consistent use of pornography * Unsafe sex * Phone or computer sex (cybersex) * Prostitution or use of prostitutes * Exhibitionism * Obsessive dating through personal ads * Voyeurism (watching others) and/or stalking * Sexual harassment * Molestation/rape Those in bold are all things I have done and yet I know I'm not a sex addict. The therapy is.... Treatment of sexual addiction focuses on controlling the addictive behavior and helping the person develop a healthy sexuality. Treatment includes education about healthy sexuality, individual counseling, and marital and/or family therapy. Support groups and 12 step recovery programs for people with sexual addictions (like Sex Addicts Anonymous) also are available. In some cases, medications used to treat obsessive-compulsive disorder may be used to curb the compulsive nature of the sex addiction. These medications include Prozac and Anafranil. So talk it out and take Prozac? My guess is that there are some real sex addicts out there who just can't stop and know its hurting their lives, but I also guess that a majority of people diagnosed are just people with a normal high sex drive. I have the playboy channel and I'll often have it on in the background late night while I work at the computer. Its more of a background noise then anything else, but how do you think that would sound in a session. Psychologist: Mr. Chicup, how often do you watch porn. Me: Well, every night. Psychologist: I see *writes in his note book* Psy: Have you have sex with people other than your wife? Me: Yes Psy: Often? Me: Yes Psy: *writes down more* Does Mrs. Chicup know about this? Me: Yes Psy: Does she know about the other women, it is women right? Me: Yes and yes... hell sometimes she joins in. Psy: *writes down furiously* Do you encourage her to join in? Me: Yes Psy: *writes down a paragraph* .......100 questions later Psy: Mr. Chicup I am afraid you are a sex addict, there is no doubt at all, your constant viewing of pornography, your unsafe sex, your multiple partners, you risking your job and dragging your wife into it, you must do something before it takes over your life completely! Me: O'Rly?