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It's got to be a really tough situation to realize you have a powerful kink and that the love of your life is completely uninterested. Hesitant is one thing, but I see guys posting all the time in different places about their near-desperation to be understood. Getting all the sex on the table early is not a bad idea and probably helped us immensely with being basically compatible psychologically later. Even late-relationship changes in libido can be tough, nevermind introducing the prospect of other libidos.

Well ok, but that means you assume other people think the same way you think. When people just assume that I think like they do and they don't consider the possibility that I may not, depending on how self-serving I think their assumptions are, I might decide I don't have any interest in being around them any more. That's fine if they are ok with the result of assuming.

If swinging is important to you, I'd say bring it up before the second date. That way you won't ultimately end up as one of those guys who is desperate for the "right advice" to convince his wife/gf to swing. If your date rejects the idea out of hand and has absolutely zero interest, then you are taking a big chance of getting into a reltionship/marriage with someone whose lack of interest you are obligated to respect for lack of bringing up your interest in it before things got too far along.

This whole thread made me sick to my stomach. Fetishizing Black people is so yuck.

I’m not trying to call anyone out, I’m just curious. Do you have a no kissing rule? What is the reasoning behind it? Our profile specifically states, if you have a no kissing rule, don’t bother contacting us. Yet we’ve been contacted a lot lately by couples with a no kissing rule. Like one couple wanted to get together with 3-4 couples at once, but doesn’t want kissing. Wtf? Someone please enlighten me.

It has happened a lot to me and I know it’s always a possibility so when I accept a guys cock into my mouth or pussy, I almost expect it. Honestly, i get turned on knowing that it feels so good they can’t hold back. Most of the time i’m able to get them going again so I can get what I need. I’m actually not much of a fan of sucking cocks, especially anything over 6” so quick is good for me!

We are recently in a poly relationship and it has evolved each week for the past 6 months. We now live together and are fully involved with each other. It’s not something we get hung up on defining or explaining to others.

couplers, Thank you for your answer. What you describe is what I envision as polyamory. Most of what I see touted as polyamory is more open relationship, at least in my frame of reference.

I didn't read your post. I read the subject line and my reply would be early. More sooner than later. It would be part of the getting to know you stage. It would sort out the compatible from the incompatible before anyone invests time or money in a relationship that is not going to end well.

That's the thing about poly relayionships that makes my head spin. It's more like a great topic for a dissertation by a mathematics PhD candidate interested in graph theory.

Being poly is less about sex and more about the relationship. Our poly family is bonded by our commitment to each other. We own our home together, share finances, the women have children with both the men, and we have made legally binding provisions to take care of all the children regardless of parentage. We have nursed the other's babies. Although it started with my husband & me and the "others," David and I no longer see one another as the primary relationship. We women are Lesbian as well. We are a family who conscientiously decided to make ourselves intertwined. Hope that helps.

To me, at least, it is more than an assumption. The natural consequence of a man stimulating his penis inside a woman is orgasm and ejaculation. As I said, however, if I did have an objection, I would announce it beforehand.

Maybe those people who look at your profile numerous times are not as outgoing as you or they don't really know what to say for lack of experience. Personally, I would consider multiple views of a profile an opportunity for almost a sure thing to meet someone or a couple if we found them attractive, so, yeah, we wouldn't complain about it. If we found them attractive, we'd just send a message. If they didn't appeal to us, we'd be flattered and also happy that they didn't contact us and place us in the position of having to decline. I really don't get why you think being the ones to intiate contact is at all a negative, ever. Initiating contact means you are in charge of selecting who you want to play with. By expecting someone else to do it, you only get the chance to accept or decline someone who selected you. If other people just want to look at our profile over and never contact us, then they are just telling us "We'll probably say yes if you send a message," without ever having to talk to them. I only see this as an issue for people who don't take rejection well.

I disagree if for no other reason, than once a guy blows his load in a woman's mouth, it's a little late for her to say "No." There are few things in sex where the opportunity to say no doesn't present itself before it actually happens. Perhaps in the Land of Oz it's different, but personal experience here in the US tells me that women who are ok with that and women who aren't runs about 50-50 and the half that are not ok with it are a lot more than "just sort of not ok with it." Why is it so difficult to figure this (and most everything else) out ahead of time? Although Harriet is in the swallows contingent, I think it's rather rude to just assume what other people are ok with. So apparently, at least some guys do check ahead of time. It seems to us that the best course of action is to assume one should check to ensure that one doesn't just assume anything that could spoil the evening and alienate a couple from a repeat playdate. Making sure one's partner is ok with something is just being considerate.

Doesn't this kind of suggest that the no kissing rule did not have the desired effect? Why bother continuing with a course of action which has proven in the past not to be effective? I still think that there is a lot more to establishing (and maintaining) a good romantic relationship that only kissing.

We really enjoyed Hedo - lots of public sex and invitations for groups and threesomes. I loved watching others and watching other females that were very open to playing with my husband in front of me. On our first day, we got to the pool late in the afternoon. We were standing at the swim up bar and I was blown away when a couple came up to us and she said she saw us come in and she really wanted to see my husbands cock hard and asked if she could play. She asked him to sit on the edge and proceeded to suck his cock until he was fully erect in front of everyone. I thought I was on a different planet - turned out to be an incredible six days.

There are at least two kinds of kisses. One says's "I love you" and the other says, "Let's get hot, Playmate! I'm gonna fuck your brains out."

If we didn’t want kissing to be part of sex we would hire a hooker! Neither one of us have had sex with someone without kissing. That will not be changing. No kissing is a big no thanks for us.

Kissing is part of sex. How can anyone have sex without kissing the person you are with. I need that kissing to be there before I am comfortable to do more. One partner asked me if it was okay to kiss and I told him you better kiss me if you want to go further. I have found it strange that people will be very intimate and then not want to kiss.

Yes, for me, kissing a woman while she's orgasming on another guy's cock. Especially if it's my wife.

This is exactly our line of thinking. No kissing for us would require too much thinking about something that is just supposed to happen naturally. Like I said earlier, if that’s someone’s thing, then so be it. I just don’t understand why people don’t read anything because it clearly states that in the opening section of our profile on every site we’re on.

How Can you have sex without foreplay ? How can you have foreplay without kissing ? No kissing equals no sex for me.

We like sexy people. The color of their skin or size of their cock makes zero difference to her on whether someone is attractive or not. People that sell themselves as a BBC will get ignored as much as people that sell themselves as BWC. We will leave the cock obsession for others out there.

Several years ago before we settled in with our regular couples, my wife came home after a lesbian encounter and said very matter-of-factly, "You'll like her pussy."

My first experience with his bisexuality was very unexpected. We were playing with a male friend after some pretty tame hot tubbing. They both were focused on me so I started to work in their already hard cocks. We moved indoors and it was pretty clear that the other guy was waiting for the green light from my husband to take things further. My husband got on his back and asked me to get into a 69 position. I gave them both some oral and my husband invited the other guy to fuck me if it was okay with me. The guy took me from behind while my husband gave me oral. After a few minutes I could tell he was working on the guys cock while he was fucking me - I was shocked. He actually would put the guys cock in his mouth for a few seconds at a time. It was so incredibly hot I couldn’t hold back. Turns out it was my husbands first experience and was totally spontaneous.

Isn’t great there are no two people alike!? Everyone is a different package. Most all veteran life stylers are very confident in and of themselves. They may not be everyone’s cup of tea....at that time....but they will be someone’s from time to time. Some people are ok in themselves in what they offer someone....to share from the start....others learn this in time and are better people for it. A few never quite get it.....some never. And that’s ok. It’s like some guys prefer large breasts....or big nipples. Your wife seeing how much you are enjoying another lady....larger breasts....tighter body......you wouldn’t want her to feel that she was less....not enough for you? Sharing sex, sexual activity....games....as an extracurricular adult activity is not for everyone. But if it is....the experiences are intoxicating.....and can be shared without any interference with the couple...couples relationship. No one is shopping here.

"Does it make you feel awkward or bad about yourself the next time she sees you naked?" If you do, this hobby isn't for you. You might want to consider bowling or golf. What we noticed almost immediately when we started exploring swinging over 15 years ago was how confident and comfortable in their bodies swinger couples are. Im about 6 inches which is quite average. What that means is that there are dicks that are larger than mine or some that are smaller. So what? There are tits that are bigger or smaller than Mrs Docs, but again, so what? At our regular parties, one of the husbands has a substantially larger dick, usually the biggest there. Mrs Doc always makes sure she gets some quality time with him. If Im in the same room, I'll watch for a bit because its such an amazingly hot visual and she always gets off on him. Its a joy to watch. I don't need her to comfort me afterwards because Im not intimidated or upset. We swing because we enjoy variety and sharing orgasms with our friends. Knowing that she's doing that and that she's fucked this guy (and probably several others) while I was fucking someone else's wife (or his)is incredibly erotic and THAT is what makes it OK to continue swinging.