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I believe sexual compatibility is important in a relationship. Focus on what is her style and desires to hopefully spice things up between the two of you. Does she enjoy sexy lingerie? Will she go to an adult bookstore that caters more to women? Romance her. Drop the idea of swinging with this woman. Don’t get to a point in the relationship where you resent the differences. Swinging or not Communication is the big C word.

Rejection is part of the game. My attitude is their loss, who’s next.

Sex IS important in a relationship but honesty is imperative! What Alura said is very true. To put it more bluntly, if you hide something as out there as swinging from a new and possibly significant woman, it WILL bite you in the ass and not pleasantly either! Im assuming that since your profile name indicates that you are not a 20-something, it stands to reason that the woman is also somewhere in middle age. Surely she has some sexual experience. Discuss her past and yours immediately before any emotional attachment deepens on her part. If you remain deceitful and somewhat dis-satisfied you will hurt a woman who has apparently chosen to take a chance on you. That would be selfish AND shitty!

Midlife, I think you might have framed this question better. A more helpful framing is: “In the context of a romantic relationship, how important is sex to me?“ And you are the only person able to answer it. More specifically in the context that you’ve raised the issue in this forum, how important is it to you to have sex with a variety of people? Whether or not your new girlfriend is amenable to swinging in the ways most members of this forum discuss it, you do need to ascertain where your girlfriend stands on the larger matter of non-monogamy. My suggestion is you not let this issue linger too long. Better to address it candidly with her before the emotional bonds become too strong for either of you. That will potentially save a lot of pain down the road. And keep in mind that there are a lot of fish in the sea. If it turns out that a non-monogamous sex life is really important to you But not to her, I suggest you keep looking until you find someone you can love who also embraces that quality.

A secret hidden will eventually become a threat.

Mrs Doc got sick just before Christmas this year and so we had to cancel our trip north and our NYE at TPA. That party has never disappointed us. Last year, we went to a small house party in Florida where we knew one other couple, turned out that the rest of the partiers looked about 20 years older then their pictures or professed ages. I think we left 10 minutes after the ball dropped. We normally LOVE our nights at Trapeze in FLL but our experiences on NYE 2014 and 2016 were disappointing. The crowd was too big, the music was too loud, people got drunk early including the DJ, who messed up the countdown, how the hell can you do THAT? One guy got insistent and belligerent with my wife and had to be taken down (he started to get grabby, she told him no twice, I did once, firmly. When he came back again, I quit talking, he dropped before the ball did). The play areas could not accommodate the size of the crowd, you shouldn't have to stand in line to boink at a swingers club. People were still coming in the front door when we gave up and left before 12:30. We didn't even consider it this year. If we don't go north to TPA next year, we may simply invite 3-4 couples we know well to our house. We have 3 bedrooms, a leather sectional and a heated pool and spa. The only drawback is that our neighbor will probably feel compelled to spend her NYE praying for the naked sinners next door.

I am going to add that having sex with our friend might be the most exciting experience I have ever had. Looking back of course the first time I had sex was exciting too. The first time with any woman in my life has been exciting, they just naturally occurred. Sex with our friends was planned and done with a playful evening. Of course I was nervous getting completely nude in front of another couple. My wife’s friend is a very good looking woman and someone who I have seen in a sexy bathing suit. I have imagined her nude before. Having her actually nude and us playfully touching and not being romantic. We joked and played in for me a nervous way. My big fear was not exploding. I touched and explored and she made things easy. After so many years of monogamy I was tasting a willing woman. The experience was way different than my home sex which is great too. It was just a fun exciting different experience that is so hard to explain. We soon found that other people we know play. Friends too and fun too even if I can’t say it was better than our first time. Also watching my wife with our friend’s husband was not as excited as others have said. I didn’t freak, I was hoping he wasn’t the best. He is a second husband of our friend. In the end I was happy we all had fun and have played many times again.

One of our first experiences was with a neighbor. We had a party at the house and after a couple of hours a game of strip poker broke out with him and his girlfriend. She ended up going home to bed leaving just him and us. We were all naked, I was drunk and he had a big dick - nuff said. We played for hours and it was amazing. The next weekend we ended up fucking again and it became apparent that he liked the fact that his cock was a lot bigger than my husbands and that I really got off on him. It got very weird very fast so we had to cut things off. He lived there for a year and it sucked. I’d avoid the neighbor scene unless it’s very special.

The first time we were in a hotel in Greece and met with another couple from the USA, we started to talk and we finished staying together in the bad doing a 4some. Awesome experience. Now we meet with them every year and enjoy the company. They are the best couple we had met ever.

Light up nipple clamps??? That's now on my list for her birthday in March!

and one more….ho ho ho