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Midlife, I think you might have framed this question better. A more helpful framing is: “In the context of a romantic relationship, how important is sex to me?“ And you are the only person able to answer it. More specifically in the context that you’ve raised the issue in this forum, how important is it to you to have sex with a variety of people? Whether or not your new girlfriend is amenable to swinging in the ways most members of this forum discuss it, you do need to ascertain where your girlfriend stands on the larger matter of non-monogamy. My suggestion is you not let this issue linger too long. Better to address it candidly with her before the emotional bonds become too strong for either of you. That will potentially save a lot of pain down the road. And keep in mind that there are a lot of fish in the sea. If it turns out that a non-monogamous sex life is really important to you But not to her, I suggest you keep looking until you find someone you can love who also embraces that quality.

I've always found things work out best when BOTH partners are primarily focused on the enjoyment of their partner. Whenever EITHER partner decides it's all about them, the spark is gone and it's time to order the pizza.

It’s not an exact science for the men. I often come earlier than I would like. If powered by vitamin V, I can usually go for round two and I last longer. Of course, because we use condoms, things are a bit numb down there, resulting in less control. In the forefront of my mind is the enjoyment of my female partner. I understand that intercourse does not lead to orgasm in many women, so I emphasize the oral if that is enjoyed by my partner. It is fun to learn what buttons to push.

Mrs Doc and I are firm believers in the concept of "ladies first". I put an honest effort into giving my partner orgasms before I even try to get mine. My wife expects the same from her playmates as well. With her though, its not that hard to accomplish. She easily cums during foreplay and that facilitates her orgasms during penetration.

Sex IS important in a relationship but honesty is imperative! What Alura said is very true. To put it more bluntly, if you hide something as out there as swinging from a new and possibly significant woman, it WILL bite you in the ass and not pleasantly either! Im assuming that since your profile name indicates that you are not a 20-something, it stands to reason that the woman is also somewhere in middle age. Surely she has some sexual experience. Discuss her past and yours immediately before any emotional attachment deepens on her part. If you remain deceitful and somewhat dis-satisfied you will hurt a woman who has apparently chosen to take a chance on you. That would be selfish AND shitty!

A secret hidden will eventually become a threat.

I don't think that's uncommon. I've seen a lot of guys who fuck my GF bust their nut in a couple of seconds. They just need to replenish, get hard again, and then they usually last much longer.

Mrs Doc got sick just before Christmas this year and so we had to cancel our trip north and our NYE at TPA. That party has never disappointed us. Last year, we went to a small house party in Florida where we knew one other couple, turned out that the rest of the partiers looked about 20 years older then their pictures or professed ages. I think we left 10 minutes after the ball dropped. We normally LOVE our nights at Trapeze in FLL but our experiences on NYE 2014 and 2016 were disappointing. The crowd was too big, the music was too loud, people got drunk early including the DJ, who messed up the countdown, how the hell can you do THAT? One guy got insistent and belligerent with my wife and had to be taken down (he started to get grabby, she told him no twice, I did once, firmly. When he came back again, I quit talking, he dropped before the ball did). The play areas could not accommodate the size of the crowd, you shouldn't have to stand in line to boink at a swingers club. People were still coming in the front door when we gave up and left before 12:30. We didn't even consider it this year. If we don't go north to TPA next year, we may simply invite 3-4 couples we know well to our house. We have 3 bedrooms, a leather sectional and a heated pool and spa. The only drawback is that our neighbor will probably feel compelled to spend her NYE praying for the naked sinners next door.

My suggestion will take some time to happen but safer. Try several mfm first. Then invite the guys who play well and respectful of your gf into your gb plans or ask them to invite someone they know. Listen to their inputs so they will feel part of the plan. That worked well for us.

Our first was at a club. I wasn’t comfortable meeting up with total strangers in a hotel. It was actually very organic. My husband took me to a room with a sex swing and we left the door open. One we got going, we had a small group watching us. One at a time, my husband invited guys to come in. Once four guys were in the room, I asked them to take me. I actually asked them if they would jerk off a bit for me while my husband warmed me up. Then, they took turns with me. The swing was a perfect touch. Now that we have made a lot of friends, it’s pretty easy to put together a familiar group.

The hotwife is the woman and the cuckold is the man. There is a situation described as cuckqueen. In my opinion, a hotwife situation is where the man in a married relationship willing shares his wife with other men and the wife is a willing participant. A cuckold is a man who is powerless from keeping other men from having sex with his wife. She may degrade him for not stopping other men from having sex with her. She may enjoy humiliating her husband by having sex with other men in front of him. A cuckqueen is a woman who is humiliated by her husband having sex with other women in front of her or with her knowing about it.

PeterJ does an excellent job of explaining the distinctions between swinging, hotwifing, and cuckolding. While my husband and I are involved in "traditional" swinging, I am also a hotwife sometimes. He has encouraged me to have sex with other men while he has minimal contact or while he merely watches. I have also had sex with other men alone. In fact, our first lifestyle experience was actually a hotwife experience. Both of us derive emotional pleasure from it. My husband is part of the experience even if he is not there, because he is part of the planning process and I tell him all the details of the encounter at some point afterwards. However, we are not involved in any humiliation or cuckolding.

Phew!!! I was worried that I could be considered a "cuckold" because I encourage my hot wife to enjoy other men. Humiliation is certainly not my thing. I don't understand the feelings, but watching my wife ride and a suck a dick is one of the most exciting experiences of my life. Seeing him turned on by her, she by him, his dick hard, her pussy dripping wet, their guttural moans and dirty talk and then the joyous climax of both. I am SO glad we tried this a few years ago. It's amazing how it's changed our lives.