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Nobody told us there was going to be a test! When we met in 2002, I was way ahead, having been a single young cop in eastern Pa in the late 70's( "Oh what a night" and "love the one you're with" happened a lot then). I was Mrs Doc's 4th. Im not sure that she's caught up yet but when you consider the built in limitations of erections, refraction periods and the number of available penises at swinger clubs and house parties she may well be getting close. We tried one night to put a number to both of us but we kept reminding each other of different events and additional people and finally just gave up. It was an amusing and erotic exercise. Our only conclusion was that we could easily be described as sluts, both of us!

Maybe she isn’t that turned on by him. That could explain why she is fine seeing other people.

Midlife, you said, "Unfortunately, many on this board have judged me, in a completely inaccurate way," The people here haven't judge *you*, they've judged what you wrote. I believe you represented yourself badly and/or inaccurately. You must understand that we get all kind of flakes and they try to troll us, sometimes we have a short trigger. Please feel free to ask questions and seek advice, but understand that we need the whole picture to be fair.

There are a lot of possible explanations for this, all of which should be addressed instead of hemmed and hawed around until someone ends up very hurt and sad after too much time has passed thinking the other will "come around".

Many couples who are in love are able to work out the sex thing in different ways. My wife is the one who has had other wives confide in her: one doesn't want sex but always gives in to her husband because "it's a small thing," and two (!) wives whose husbands have no interest and allow them to have a guy on the side. Please let us know how it turns out.

He says, "IF we were to commit to each other", blah, blah, blah. So as this thread progresses, we see more and more of his character. He is putting conditions upon honesty. In life, you're either pregnant or you're not, you're either honest or you're not.He's not. That's NOT judgmental, that's a fact based conclusion supported by his words.

@ Gold, I think that would be one hell of a lot of fun!

me too!

I so agree that evolving is exciting. I remember when we first started swapping, followed by orgies, then hotwifing, then . . . It seemed like every time we went out, something new happened. Now, after a couple of decades, I think we've explored everything we care to. We know we're not into certain things - BDSM, golden showers, foot fetish, etc. So that excitement seems like it's behind us. That's okay, when we meet new potential play partners, my heart still starts racing!

Ms. Padoc - I'm sorry but I'm having trouble maintaining eye contact Beautiful neckless as well.

hotinphx: That's SO hot! Thanks (on their behalf and ours) for sharing. Padoc: Ms. Gold wants that dress...and to spend time in Ms. Padoc's closet trying things on.

Some men are just stupid (and they wonder why they are not invited back a second time). Even if you are 'one and done', you still have a tongue and fingers. The job isn't done until you have both cum, FINISH the job you started. Don't be selfish.

Had you had much anal prior to that happening?

When I first became non-monogamous I was having sex with my new love, the man who would become my husband, and my ex-fiance. I was screwing them separately at first, but they both knew about the other and were fine with it. It felt perfect, natural, the way it should be for me, and it made me feel powerful, in control, appreciated. Those feelings continued as I got into MFMing, and being a part-time hardcore Lesbian. I've only been with five men in my life, and still screwing three of them. The most I ever had at one time was four of them: my husband (does that even count?), my boyfriend/ex-fiance, Lora's ex-husband (she left him to join our family), and the guy who Lora, Clair and I share now as a FWB. It all seem "right." Yeah, guys like anal and I like DP, so there was that. I always prefer their cum inside me, so after a guy put his first load in my vagina he could go around back after I sucked him up again. It was good because it was all what I wanted.

I also mentioned this a while back. A guy will stick it in my wife and cums in seconds. Because of this she is getting down on having intercourse with others. If they tried a second time that would be OK, but they don't.

We take strangers and make them into friends! The 'problem' with using friends is that if anything goes 'south' in the relationship, there is a pretty good chance that it will leak out to everyone in the circle of friends. Say the other couple breaks up, or you just have a falling out with the other couple...the odds of ALL of your friends finding out is much higher than if something happens with 'strangers'. Lots of friends don't have relationships strong enough to be swingers or are just not 'wired' to swing. 'You won't believe what Dick and Jane suggested we do with them...they wanted to have SEX with us!'. Easier and much more successful is finding other couples that are already swinging to swing with and turn them into friends. Higher reward with less risk.

I am going to add that having sex with our friend might be the most exciting experience I have ever had. Looking back of course the first time I had sex was exciting too. The first time with any woman in my life has been exciting, they just naturally occurred. Sex with our friends was planned and done with a playful evening. Of course I was nervous getting completely nude in front of another couple. My wife’s friend is a very good looking woman and someone who I have seen in a sexy bathing suit. I have imagined her nude before. Having her actually nude and us playfully touching and not being romantic. We joked and played in for me a nervous way. My big fear was not exploding. I touched and explored and she made things easy. After so many years of monogamy I was tasting a willing woman. The experience was way different than my home sex which is great too. It was just a fun exciting different experience that is so hard to explain. We soon found that other people we know play. Friends too and fun too even if I can’t say it was better than our first time. Also watching my wife with our friend’s husband was not as excited as others have said. I didn’t freak, I was hoping he wasn’t the best. He is a second husband of our friend. In the end I was happy we all had fun and have played many times again.

Dude, you're right there with the rest of us. According to Medical News Today, the average erect penis size is 5.1 inches. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/271647.php Mine is 5.2 inches, fully stretched, and not once has a woman complained to me about it. And do you know how easy it is to photoshop a flashlight? If your wife hasn't already told you, it's not how much you have, it's how you use it. Don't fixate on your size, just try to pleasure the woman you're with, you'll be fine.