Both approaches work and we've used each of them successfully at one time or another at Tj's, DJ's TPA, Pleasure Garden, Saints and Sinners, Players, Trapeze and Desire. The key it to recognize that you're not looking for friends or the perfect couple. You're looking for playmates for an hour or an evening who are reasonably attractive to you both. Approaching people in a friendly fashion is a big part of the selection process. Dressing sexy, the occasional direct teasing flash or some pretty obvious sexual interaction between the two of you lets others know that you're there to play. Adam's success ratio is very close to ours and on the few nights we didn't play with anyone else, we always have each other and Mrs Doc is hardly a consolation prize