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Swingers secret handshake?? Maybe. We were at Haulover Beach one Memorial Day weekend and met an attractive couple about our age in the water. The other wife was wearing a Trapeze hat which was a dead give away that they were swingers. We chatted away part of the afternoon and discovered we were both going to the club that night. We had a drink with them there and chatted a bit more. The wife looked just as good in club clothes as naked. We kind of lost track of them and didn't play that night. We went back to the same general location at the beach on Sunday and they were there as well. The wife got up and hugged us, the husband stood up as well and shook my hand. Mrs Doc noticed that, likely due to sunscreen, he had more than a little bit of sand on his cock. As he approached her to offer a hug, she reached out with one hand, gently taking his cock in her right hand while softly brushing the sand off with her left. He said, "Wow! That's some hand shake". He had a bit of a chubby for most of the rest of the day in part because she somehow found more grains on it several times as the afternoon passed. We did play with them at the club that night and a few times over the next few months until they moved to NC. They were a lot of fun!

Old thread, but what makes it interesting is how this term has stuck as a genre of porn. I wonder though if what the porn-watching world at large thinks is a cuckold is the same as what the swinger males here thinks is a cuckold? Just because I like seeing my wife happy and having fun having sex with another guy doesn't make me, or anyone else who enjoys that, a cuckold in my book. What do others think?

First, congratulations on your first hosting event! Here are some thoughts from our experiences... 1. How things go depends on who shows up, and how well they know each other. You have been wise to ensure that people know at least one other couple planning to be there. 2. Invitations notwithstanding, who shows up is what matters. There is the possibility that, owing to no-shows, there may be some people where who know no one other than you (having invited them). Plan accordingly. 3. You already have done a great deal of the planning. You will find that unless you enlist one or more of the guests to help, you may well be torn between keeping things going socially and keeping the kitchen etc orderly to have a good time. It can be helpful to invite one other couple to arrive early, show them where things are, ask for some set-up help and so on. There may be a last minute run for more ice or mixers or lube or whatever. 4. You are entirely correct that there are three phases to most parties: arrival, playtime, wind-down and departure. Catalyzing the transitions ought to be planned, but may not be needed depending on how well folks know each other. 5. The purpose of an icebreaker is to get people interacting with someone who is ***not*** their usual partner. Your questionnaire thing works fine provided you as hosts are reading the answers anonymously. Most people are reluctant to do public speaking, especially about their fantasies, even in the private setting of a house party. Depending on how many couples show up, and how much time you have, some version of speed dating where the men have 2 min to introduce themselves and get to know every lady at the party works, especially if paired with "tell me something about yourself that I wouldn't expect to know" and reading those lists at the end. (Ten couples==20 min, with another 10 min for reading the lists and laughing). Then there is the different nuts-and-bolts approach (each of the men is given a bolt, the women get to pick a nut from a bowl and find who they will be speaking with for 5 min. Or whatever. The raunchier icebreakers (blindfold the men and have them try to identify their wives by feeling their breasts) rarely get 100% participation. 6.Regardless, kitchen congregation is a staple at parties. People like to take breaks. The challenge is to make sure that no one is isolated and feeling left out for an extended period of time. Figure out how you will keep track of same and what you will do to mitigate the isolation. Have fun!

While most swingers are also nudists, it does not mean that most nudists are also swingers. The only way to find out is to politely ask. There is no 'secret code' or handshake.

Three things about the LS. First, there is no reliable way to discern a swinger from a vanilla without someone asking/telling. This is one reason why swinger resorts exist. Someone has to ask. No means no. No thank you means no. Maybe means no. Yes means yes. Get used to a great deal of no. Occasionally nudists will bristle, but that's the exception--they know that running around naked is an alternate lifestyle, and there is some overlap among the lifestyles. See the third item. Second, naked does not imply LS even in a nudist environment. Many nudists are just that, G-rated nudists. Their conduct would pass muster at a church social--except for the nakedness. Third, some nudists eventually do cross over to "the dark side" and join the LS. We were/are in that group. Swinging is out of the question until it's situational. And then it's no longer out of the question.

I understand your response padoc, and your need to know how to approach this information gathering, Ranman, however there is no fixed answer to your question Ranman. I have experienced both a rebuke, and a receptive need position during the information gathering to break the ice so to speak about the feelings being like or not like in intent with lifestyle positions. Example: Both of the two examples occurred at different nudist camps in different states. First time I was tent camping and the second day or so a wonderful fit couple arrived and set up camp next to my tent. Both were very attractive and lovely nude. They were very friendly and we talked about the day, and where we were from, and where they were from etc., niceties, of first time meeting. we all four parted and got back together early evening and just before dark we all 4 of us, roasted hot dogs at there camp site, fire pit , and had a beer or two, and just talked. We all 4 were totally nude. After it was totally dark we sat by the fire and continued to talk about growing up and about our home towns etc. Then the entire conversation turned to some sharing about how we all became nudists and about our experiences being nudists, and erotic conversation was part of the conversation. so in a very relaxed way we all started to explain our thoughts on erotic feelings and practices. It all lead to stimulation and then to conversation about what erotic feeling we all each liked to enjoy and then the other lady and my wife were laughing and teasing us males. This all lead to my wife and I feeling eachother and they did the ssame, and after we started to do more erotic with our spouse his wife felt my wife and said do you ever share erotic contact and feel open to it now. My wife explained we did and we found out they did also. Needless to say we males switched tents for the entire evening and we were totally immersed in a dance of wonderment and sharing that was separate tent but open, and showing, each other, each share embrace as we watched the swap, open and erotic, as it play out. It was lovely and lasted all night on into the early morning. We all 4 swapped again after breakfast for a hour or more. Was lovely and open. The second encounter was during a visit to another nudist camp, and it culminated with me helping a older couple put storm windows in their on premise cabin that took like 5 hours from a vacation day. After the task was completed, the husband left to golf with his friend leaving me with my wife and his wife. We sat in there kitchen and had some tea, and then chatted with her at length. Time was no object a slow conversation bout everything and anything, and the cabin was a one room cabin with a bed and kitchen table all in plane site. I got a second cup of tea and sat on the bed and we continued to chat all 3 of us, and I asked my wife and the alternate lady to sit on the bed with me and that is when we were rebuked. The alternate women said she is not a hussy, and was not going to sit on the bed with me or my wife. She went on to say she would not conduct such start of hussy contact with sitting on the bed with us, as she did not do that ever and that we were not welcome to do that and she wanted us to leave. We left post hast. However all was fine as I put all the storm windows in, however, and I was a scoundrel to suggest adult pleasure. She went on to say it is morbid and not something that should be shared. Two different approaches to the same stimulation to adult share pleasures. Go Figure.

We were at Caliente ( a nudest community north of Tampa) about 6 years ago and spent a pleasant afternoon by the pool with an attractive equally naked early 50's couple. We chatted, laughed, shared a couple of adult beverages and had a pleasant afternoon. By about 3:00 pm, the early summer sun had become brutal and Mrs Doc was feeling frisky. She reached across and started to caress the other husbands thigh and said, "its getting REALLY hot out here, would you two like to take the party back to our room"? You'd have thought we had offered to kill and bbq their dog for dinner. The other wife said "we didn't know you were swingers" as she snarled a "no thank you" and dragged her husband to the other side of the pool. In retrospect, we should have been more direct earlier as suggested above. I think in a mixed setting (nudist & swinger) it's important that you're up front early. We've found that nudists are less open and way more judgmental than swingers who are comfortable being naked in public.

So far as I'm aware (being that I've never been to one, only read about them), most nudist camps are not receptive to swingers. I'd check with the camp to make sure that such things are acceptable, and only then proceed ahead. As to how to ask, you can always walk up and say "Hey! Wanna ****?" No seriously, I would think it would be like any other interaction at a meet and greet. See if there's some compatibility, and then as discussion progresses ask them if they're in the lifestyle. There's no trick to it. Just ask.

Yes indeed there can be great differences in amount, viscosity, force of output and rate of output. But I do what I can and like it, although I much prefer when Red, who is a high volume, high pressure, high flow guy, ejaculates in my vagina. Hubby OTOH just slowly oozes a couple of dollops, which is much better for taking a swallow between squirts. Sort of like chocolate sauce coming out of a pump bottle.

That’s exactly right! We’re going to talk about it this weekend and make some new rules going forward so we don’t wind up in this scenario again. Thanks for the feedback! Have a great weekend.

I think you're probably on to something with the idea that the hotwife type scenarios you guys have been involved with might lean a little more toward having these sorts of misunderstandings. Also think you are right on a little more upfront communication would probably help a lot on avoiding issues by getting everyone on the same page right away. That will probably cost you a few potential playmates, but better to have fewer contacts but ones that are in sync with you guys than more contacts that aren't a good fit to start with.

Thank you for the insight. It’s definitely strained things fo a point where we’ve put some distance between us. The wife reached out recently asking about the vacation and we declined and said it was due to our work schedules. Crazy thing is we just met another couple via a swing site and we’re planning to meet up. I was in contact with the wife and husband and gave my man the wife’s kik info info so they could chat and get to know each other. My man will chat here and there but he’s not big on endless texting and chatting especially when he hasn’t met someone in person yet. The wife got upset that he wasn’t communicating enough and called off our meeting this coming weekend. It’s starting to become a nuisance with some of these Hotwife couples. We just don’t see the lifestyle the same as others do. It’s extracurricular and fun - its not about falling in love with someone else and courting them. Sounds like we need to be more upfront with new couples that we meet that we’re not seeking a poly relationship and just want FWB.

An interesting question. While no two couples share identical perspectives and experiences, we assert it's not just libido--it's making affirmative choices in how to continue life's journey into older age and even elderhood. 1. Gratitude matters. Being grateful for seeing each sunrise, sharing a meal, having less aches than the prior day. Older age, empty nest and so on, gives couples the time to be grateful. 2. Staying healthy together matters. Eating well, alcohol in moderation, health care, and above all doing it for each other matters. Speaking frankly about sexual issues with healthcare providers is important. 3. Accepting changing bodies and accommodating to fatigue, aches, and so on matters. Sex at 2 am is vastly overrated--8 am when rested is frankly a lot more fun. 4. Staying in touch with playmates and going on adventures--resorts, cruises, whatever--to create new connections, that also matters. 5. Making choices to stay exciting to each other--naked cocktail hour, erotic outfits, new toys, etc.--for and about each other matters. If you sense that there is a focus here on the immediate spouse/partner, you are correct. Other couples sense that enthusiasm and confidence and say 'we want that for us'.

Nope, you're right on the money, this has gone sour and best to gracefully withdraw now rather than later since I expect it will only get worse. Depending on how much you guys value this play arrangement with them, then the only other option you might want to think about is a very direct heart to heart talk, as in "that shit was wrong and here's why, and it better not ever happen again, not even a hint of it." Even if you do option #2 and try to salvage it, then no way no how on the vacay for now (in fact, can't even believe they had the nerve to mention it!). If after some time and demonstration on their part that they understand things, then they'll always be another vacation to think about.

Already too much drama for us. Bah-bye. Too many other fish in the sea to be wasting time on a sucker fish.

I felt similar starting out being that I'm not super assertive especially when we're playing with a group. What I decided works best is to just join in the fun. If the only partner you know is willing, start giving your wife some attention like suck on a boob, make out, or have her suck your dick. When we play with people we know, this type of feeling never really hit me since there's an inherit comfort to knowing people and if they are receptive to you.

Hubby and I have only been to a LS club once, for a Halloween Party a couple of weekends ago. There were there people of all shapes and sizes. I did not get a sense that anyone was ridiculed or uncomfortable. It was a great time.

Not only do men enjoy watching their wives having sex with another man....but so do the ladies! I love to watch my husband getting it on with another woman...to watch his facial expressions and hers when they are pleasing each other is a turn on...not to mention the sounds of their moaning. How do the rest of you feel about this? "Sex is an expression of trust between couples!" --AJ