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Showing content with the highest reputation on 03/05/2020 in Posts

  1. 3 points
    First and foremost, thanks for reaching out to this community. You will find that it is the only LS community devoted to objective, non-judgmental conversation. about the LS. Jitters are normal. They are even more normal among introverts who are often uncomfortable even in vanilla social settings. When "my partner is dragging me into a social situation" is "amped" up to "my partner is dragging me into a potentially sexual situation", palms become sweaty, stomachs start to churn and so on. By all means, follow the advice above and have a preset exit strategy: that will give you confidence of a sort. You should not hesitate to use that strategy. However--and this may be difficult to wrap your head around--you might find that LS people are much easier to interact with. Many/most introverts/shy people feel uncomfortable around others because of childhood experiences. They were bullied, verbally or physically abused, ridiculed, excluded from cliques, whatever. Those experiences made it easier to retreat, and difficult to trust. Their marriage is a protected space, and they rely on their partner to 'run interference'--even at innocuous gatherings such as cocktail parties (and we have seen the behavior at PTA meetings as well). The interesting thing about LS people is that every one of us--and every one of our partners--has had to deal with the idea--and the reality --of vulnerability. Every one of us knows what it is like to be 'out there', thinking 'I might not be at all attracted to...." or, worse, "I might not be at all attractive to...", and worst of all, "s/he might see me for who I really am". As a consequence, LS people are among the most caring and supportive people we know. They do not judge. They do not criticize, they respect the idea of "no thank you, I'm not up for that". Intimate LS people refer to each other as "playmates". The emphasis in the compound word is on the fragment "play" over "mate". We invite you to go back in your memory to a time before you were wounded, when play--dressing up, imagining yourself as an ideal, splashing in a pool and having harmless fun left you feeling good about yourself and about the world, pleasantly fatigued, ready to rest, and looking forward to tomorrow. The LS is all about that--license for fantasy, intention for fun, even while setting some boundaries. For many--even most---adults, having fun with other people is something that is idealized on a screen and rarely experienced in day-to-day life. Sometimes its lack of time. More often, it's the vulnerability issue. You might find--as so many have--that simply being around LS people makes it easier to cast aside the vulnerability and enjoy others' company. It would be wrong to suggest that the LS is all "orgasms and roses". There are highs and lows, great dates and bad dates. It is nevertheless a journey with intent to share some pleasure and even find some joy in everyone around you smiling and laughing and playing. Give yourself an exit strategy. But don't deny yourself an entrance strategy. Let us know how it goes.
  2. 2 points
    His_harley2; WELCOME! You'll find the people here are full of helpful advice and supportive. Please feel free to keep asking questions! cplnuswing's response is great, and I 100% agree. Nerves happen, especially the first time. It's perfectly normal to feel this way. That doesn't mean you should ignore your inner voice. If it's telling you "no, this is wrong!" pay attention. If you don't, you may find yourself seriously regretting the evening. It's very true; move at the pace of the slowest. My wife and I have a "golden parachute" clause. We've never used it, but it's a comfort knowing it's there. The way it works is this; if either of us at any moment, even in the throes of sex, feel the need to end things and leave, we can say so. No questions asked at that point, just 100% support and agreement from the other. We'd get our clothes back on, politely excuse ourselves from the people we're playing with, and leave. We can talk about it in the car and figure it out. You and your boyfriend might want to have a similar thing in place, so that if you feel you just have to exit stage right, you can, without having to wonder about resistance from him in the moment, or anything. It is a different experience bringing a man into the mix. You are quite fortunate to have had an mff, as probably 95% of couples looking for that never find it. But yes, bringing another man into the mix does change things. You shouldn't feel obligated to have sex with him, just because you met up with them and began playing. You remain in control. If you want to have sex with him, but still have nerves, that's ok. It can actually make things exciting, almost like the first time :) But again, don't ignore that inner voice if it's screaming at you to stop.
  3. 2 points
    It is entirely common and understandable that both partners aren't on the exact same wavelength when getting started swinging. That's why one of the Cardinal Rules of Swinging is "go at the speed of the slowest person". I don't think you are getting out too far ahead of yourselves, I just think it's a simple matter of he has more experience than you do so his nerves aren't at the same place yours are. Totally understandable. It's hard to get rid of the nerves and anxiety all together, even people who have been swinging for years still feel it to some degree. I think the best thing you can do is just both agree that you go into Friday night with no expectations other than having a fun night together. Don't feel like you are being expected to do something, and then you won't worry as much about that something. I can relate too to what you say about you and the other guy being on the shy side since I fall into that category too. Some people can just say "Hi" as the clothes are dropping and be good to go For others of us though, it takes a little more warming up time to feel comfortable enough to really be a good swing partner and have a good time. Nothing wrong with that, just how some people are. That goes back to the no expectations and moving at your own speed thing. Do those and you'll be fine!
  4. 1 point
    Wonderful fantasy of having more than one man with woman , three men or a gangbang , but I have a question: - Can a woman really take more than two men in one night? For example, 3 or more men without feeling full or tired? My wife said she had not tried this, but she thinks it is possible , And she mentioned to me a specific reason, I want your opinions?
  5. 1 point
    Everyone was new once. And we think you’ll find that LS questions to LS people are answered with grace. So long as you project curiosity in the framing of your question, you’ll get a respectful answer. And to the extent you offer gratitude for their thoughtful response, you will find LS people happy to share experience...past and present and maybe future...
  6. 1 point
    Thank you cplnus2ing I think I will talk to him and see if we maybe we can slow down a bit or just do as you suggest and go out Friday night with no expectations but to have a good time with friends! Thank you for being so understanding about the whole being shy thing it is a struggle sometimes but I feel like this experience is going to be worth the wait and taking it at my pace will work better than just jumping in the deep end so to speak!!? this is the type of support I have been looking for but have yet to find until now so glad I found this site!
  7. 1 point
    Only the best for swingers dude
  8. 1 point
    Our front yard. Found this bird at a flea marked while traveling through Georgia last year.
  9. 1 point
    Never know. Didn't he just step away from his position.... or something like that? Maybe thats why!???
  10. 1 point
    I’v sucked several men and I got to taste their cum twice when they didn’t pull out fast enough. But I want to suck a guy and have him shoot in my mouth until he’s dry. Don’t know if I’ll swallow, but I do want to taste the cum.
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