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This should be a real concern not because of news reports but because scientists say so. When the NIH and CDC doctors give reports that we should take precautions, I will listen to them over those who want to make political statements. I want to know why a congressman who made fun of the disease by wearing a gas mask to a vote on funding is now in quarantine. I will take the advice of real doctors not spin doctors. My husband travels and his company is now curtailing business travel. Italy is closed down. Israel is quarantining those entering the country. Ireland has cancelled St. Patrick’s Day celebrations. Do you think they are doing this because CNN is blowing this up? We have curtailed our playing for now. Most of my friends who play have agreed that now is not the time to take chances and my friends are not in the high risk demographic.

That was a good decision. In that moment, you clearly illustrated to your wife that your marriage and her feelings are paramount. That kind of thing is swingers gold!!!

Yes. It was going great and my dick was definitely ready to go this time around. But when the wife got sick, I shut it down. I feel we are too new to the game to fuck another woman without my wife's approval. I believe she would have been ok with it because she knew what was happening beforehand, but I've got too much respect for her to do that.

We respectfully disagree with this statement. SARS-CoV-2, the virus that causes Covid-19, is a novel pathogen that is demonstrably highly transmissible and demonstrably has serious consequences in vulnerable populations. Unlike influenza for which there is a vaccine and antiviral therapy, there are currently no known effective medical countermeasures against this novel coronavirus. Until further information becomes available from scientists and public health authorities, we think prudence is indicated. Indeed, earlier today a senior USG expert (Dr. Anthony Fauci) made strong and clear recommendations for older Americans, especially those with chronic health conditions, about avoidance of long flights, cruise ships and so on.

Our first experience at a club was last month at Trapeze in FLA. Safe to say that we were both very nervous not having been to anything like that before or experienced any Lifestyle events. We had a great dinner before hand with a couple of drinks and said that while they idea of going would be fun, and prepping for it was amazing (with her picking out an outfit and getting her self ready mentally) maybe it would be too much for us. After dinner, she surprised me and said, why don't we drive by and at least see what the place looks like from the outside. Who was I to argue. Making the short drive up we made nervous small talk and pulled up front seeing the valets parking cars and people waiting to head into the door. People of all shapes and sizes, but very sexy dressed and clearly looking to have fun. We drove around the block a few times doing the should we or should we not go in routine. Eventually, my girl made the decision to head home and say that this was a good first step. I totally understood, and to a certain extent had a breath of relief as I was super nervous to, but tried to play it off as nothing. We drove about 10 minutes in silence before looked at me and told me to turn the car around. She said that she would regret chickening out, and at worst, we can go in, walk around for a bit, and leave. No harm done. My jaw hit the floor and I quickly pulled a u-turn. She hopped in the back seat of the car and started to pull on the outfit that she picked out the week before. She looked smoking hot. My eyes bulged out of my head looking through the rearview. Pulling up to the valet was the point of no return. A couple of cars pulled in behind us and it was time to leave the safety of the car. We got out of the car and headed to the line. She went with confidence that I never expected and it seemed like the nerves were through. She told me afterwards that leaving the car and walking in was the hardest part. Not being in the club, dancing, going to the playroom, but simply walking in the door. We awkwardly do the whole new member check-in, but are comforted by the fact that others are doing the same. We went on couples night to avoid the single guys as we had read that they can sometimes make it a little more intense for newbies. After check-in, we head to the bar area and realize that with our nervousness, we forgot our drinks in the car....(real pros here!). We ask for a couple of waters so we don't seem like fish out of water and head to the area around the dance floor. Its our first time experiencing anything like this and it took us a bit to take it all in. People were having a great time. Lots of range in age. But I would think that most were mid-30's to early 50's which put us (both in late 30's) at ease. There were older and there were younger but I would say most fit in that range. If anyone is torn-up by what to wear to one of these clubs, don't be. The guys were all pretty standard, dress pants and a shirt, while the girls ranged from trying out for the AVN hosting awards, to looking like they just came from work at an office. I would definitely say that most were on the less is more vain, but no one looked out of place and it seemed like a pretty accepting and inviting group. Lots of couples dancing and at about 11:00, the place was absolutely packed. We both looked wide-eyed at each other and commented a number of times that we were amazed at how many people are into this and that they all seem pretty normal. There were a few folks on the older side who were going at it pretty good which was a bit weird given that the playroom was like 10 feet away, but hey, whatever floats there boat. We danced a bit, kissed a ton and my hand moved her dress over her ass. Super big turn on for both of us being so inhibited in public like that. I would say we were very much into each other, maybe in hindsight a bit too much, because we didn't really get approached by anyone at that time despite the fact that we would both be described as being very fit and her very attractive. Despite not thinking about it too much, we ended up at the side of the dance floor where the entrance to the playroom is. We saw the people coming in and going out. Towels in hand. Our eyes both pop out as a very attractive girl comes out of the play area with no towel on and wades through the crowd naked to the bar to retrieve her bottle....We joked to each other that it must be fun in there as we keep an eye on the door opening and closing. After a few more deep kisses we agree that there's no harm in going in and checking it out. The same as there was no harm in coming in in the first place. We got the locker room, change out of our close in a way to small room with a bunch of others head over to the door. As we walk in we hear the moans of someone obviously having great sex and a ton of people walking around in just towels. We wander through the crowd to the open play areas, turn the corner and get smacked in the face by a full on orgy. Keep in mind that we're completely new to this, so it takes a moment to sink in that its okay to look. It was obviously a turn on for both me and Mrs. to see the group of people enjoying themselves. There's no room to sit and just joining in would be going a little too quick for us, so we stand and start playing, the towels coming off. The Mrs. left a g-string on just to get her mind over being naked in a group and I have to say it was very sexy as basically everyone else was walking around in a towel. It was super hot to see my beautiful girl confident wearing just that. We played a bit, watched a bit, kept mostly to ourselves other than a brief welcomed interruption by a woman wanting to touch a bit. We eventually found a spot and hand mind blowing sex with people watching and walking by. Definitely a high-light. After a couple of more laps in the private area we decided that it was a bit of overload and it was time to call it a night. Overall it totally exceeded our expectations. The people were nice, the facility clean. There was no pressure to do anything and it was just about having a good time and being into your version of fun. Not drinking was actually a great think as it allowed us to be a bit more clearheaded and even though I was bone sober, there was a fog after with sensory overload. It took us a few days to get over the fog and actually have an intelligent conversation about it. We both agree that it was a great experience and that we were happy at how far it went (and didn't go). She was very much into the idea of going again and has mentioned a few times since that now that we've gotten the first experience out the way, shes looking forward to visiting a club like that or a party without the first time nerves. Just a few thoughts if anyone is looking at doing something like this for the first time too. a. Its okay to be nervous b. Only do what you both really want to do, there shouldn't be any pressure by either hubby or wife. Let it happen organically. c. There's always tomorrow if you have second thoughts and don't go through with it. d. Get a spot early in the playroom as it fills up fast. e. Don't forget your booze in the car! XX00 LC

I prefer being with one person in a swap. We have attended a party and the experience is much different. The Mister said the group party was great. He enjoyed the visuals and multi possibilities, while I enjoy the attention and closeness of a single partner. I don’t enjoy being watched.

We are trying to form a closed group of several couples, but its hard enough to find one other couple that you click with, let alone several.

Those that have died have had compromised immune systems...either very old or some other medical issue that severely lowered their ability to fight a virus. Not that it shouldn't be paid attention to, but if you follow common health procedures (washing your hands, for instance), even if you do catch the virus, it will seem like a cold and you will recover in the same time as a cold. We are not concerned and think instead that how the media is allowing to run unchecked spreading panic like it is is...wrong, bordering on criminal. Do your own research, it will kill less people than the common flu will kill in a year and most of us do nothing for the flu.

The common flu infects millions and kills approx .1%. CORVID19 has killed approx 2%. So, the common flu will kill more, Corona has killed a larger percentage. Still a small percentage though, and most cases were those already in ill health or are immune compromised. I do believe it should be taken seriously, but, the media is spreading unneeded fear like a wild fire.

We attend parties with many people. This doesn’t mean everyone plays with everyone. With no agenda I never know who I’ll be with.

No. My wife is just a social drinker, it's very rare that she drinks at all. It's the other couple that loves the alcohol lol. They can drink as much as they want and not be effected. She just simply overdid it. We've all been there.

Concur with adamgunn. Question though; does your wife feel so worked up that she has to drink alcohol to move forward? If so, there's a problem there...

What an interesting question, Sun. I took some time to think about this, so here goes. Consensual non-monogamy, or the LifeStyle, has been around as long as there have been humans. I have no doubt the real-life characters of the Flintstones and Rubbles swapped occasionally just for fun. Solomon had his concubines. The Romans had orgies. Lord Nelson had a public ménage à trois. Whenever social mores have been accepting, it’s easier to find historical evidence of swapping, hotwifing, etc. Whenever society has clamped down, the behavior has gone underground. But I doubt it absolutely stopped in any society, even the most fundamentalist ones. So, to ask where The Future of Swinging goes is to ask where our social mores are heading. Our society took a big hit during the Victorian era (mid 1800's tp early 1900s.) At that time all ‘improper’ behavior was castigated, in England and Europe and in the United States of America and other places around the globe. Then, in the post World War II era, the pendulum began to swing the other way. First and foremost was the popularity of the automobile. It became relatively easy for girls and boys (and consenting men and women) to get away from prying eyes and do what comes natural. Then came the twin inventions of penicillin and the pill. Once the prevalent diseases of syph and the clap were done away with, and when women could have sex without the fear of becoming pregnant, we were off to the races! Finally, the aura of ‘weird’ sex lost its forbiddeness in the ‘sexual revolution.’ (It wasn’t a revolution, it just crept out of the closet.) The Summer of Love (1967), the Stonewall Riots (1969) and the publication of Cosmopolitan by Helen Gurley Brown beginning in 1965 brought alternative sexual patterns into the sunlight. So people had it on their mind. The biggest problem facing a married couple that wanted to swap was where to find partners. The process was made much easier with the invention and popularization of the World Wide Web in the late 1990s. With websites acting as hook-up agents, it was now possible to easily find willing partners. And that brings us to today, and the future. Social Mores At this moment, the social mores of this country (USA) and other enlightened societies are conducive to the LifeStyle. Other than your family and close friends, many people who are interested in opening their marriage are no longer much afraid of other people finding out what they do on Saturday night. Organized Religion has been losing much of its cachet since the 1960s; there are fewer members of the traditional religions, and even Evangelical churches are beginning to attract fewer people. Reliance on the rules of your particular religion is also slipping; as an example, most Roman Catholics in the United States believe in the Pope, but criticize his stance on a celibate priesthood and abortion. In short, religion is a much reduced check on sexual freedom. The Media is displaying a more and more positive view on alternative lifestyles. Evidence the swinging-based commercials of Slinger, more articles in mainstream magazines and newspapers, and the appearance of swinging in sitcoms and mainstream documentaries. In all probability over the next twenty-five years the social mores will continue to loosen, and a larger of percentage of committed couples will consider opening their marriage; more will wind up experimenting. Of this, a predictable percentage will make it an on-going hobby. But . . . if something occurs that tightens the social mores, we might creep back into the woodwork. Impossible? Oh, no. A catastrophe such as a nuclear war or truly devastating pandemic will do the trick. To see just how close we might be to such a situation, watch The Handmaidens Tale or read If This Goes On by Robert A. Heinlein. It could happen, although I think it’s somewhat unlikely. Disease Sexually transmitted diseases will have an impact on people’s willingness to swing. Currently we have three to eight common diseases that can really screw you up. In the 1960s through the 1980s most people didn’t give STDs a second thought. Syphilis and Gonorrhea were the most prevalent at the time, and both could be easily cured by antibiotics. Then AIDS and HIV became a real threat in the mid 1980s. (That was a true boom for the condom industry!) Since then, other serious diseases have been added to the mixture. The fear of disease leads many people to deny themselves extra-marital sex. If cures for the current diseases are found, there will be more swingers. And my prediction is that there will be cures. However, I could be wrong about that, or new diseases could crop up. In my mind, it’s a wash. Birth Control At this time there are a number of relatively effective methods of birth control, most of them for use by women. It's likely that a birth control pill or other solution for men will be developed. But improvement in this area won't have much impact on the number of swingers. Getting together with like-minded individuals. For most people, particularly newcomers, one of the vexing problems is how to find someone to swing with. There are currently two basic solutions. The first is on-line resources such as Adult Friend Finder and SwingLifeStyle. The usefulness of any particular site depends on developing a large number of clients. Over time, this will get better. Imagine the possibilities if SLS and SDC merged? (And hired professional web developers . . .) This will depend upon market and financial considerations that are difficult to predict. The other is the prevalence of swing clubs. At the current time, there are relatively few operating clubs. Others will open if and only-if it becomes easier and more profitable to do so. If the number of swingers increases as I predict, more clubs will open. But, one of the restrictions on a swing club is zoning laws and political influence. Few mayors are likely to get behind a new swing club as committed Christians are much more numerous and likely to vote. And zoning laws are predicated on the whims of these voters. However, I predict that at some point in the future, the denial of permits to swing clubs will be tested in the courts, as the discriminatory zoning of blacks was done. If the courts rule that it is unconstitutional to block swing clubs, there will be a large increase of places to have fun. In that case, I can see market forces that will impact them, just as there are different bars for different crowds. There will be clubs for the young and pretty, some for empty nesters, and all over Florida clubs will be popping up for the elderly. (They’ll open at two for early-bird specials and by 8:00 the action will be long over! The music will be smooth jazz and classic rock.) Patterns But one thing that won’t change will be the root patterns of swinging. There will still be foursome swaps, orgies, hotwifing activities. Some people will continue to participate in BDSM and other kinks and perversions. The percentage of people who like each category will probably remain relatively constant, Of course, it’s possible that someone will invent a new way to put Tab A into Slot B, but I doubt it.

Like Sandra, my wife Mary tends to get a little wild at house parties and not elsewhere. When we're having friends over to our house for a threesome or foursome, we're limited by the number of people, obviously. At the club, there's too many things to do, and Mary is not attracted to the public room. Our normal scene is that we will play in a foursome, then do other things for awhile. Such as the jacuzzi and dancing. By the time we're ready again, we'll find a single guy for her or possibly another foursome. Then at 2:00 they're kicking us out, so we're done. But at house parties, there's no other things to do after the first round other than conversing in the kitchen with other people, and they are all dressed (or undressed) sexily, which leads us into more trouble. Plus, unlike the other scenarios, Mary and I trust a number of people there who are our friends, and we tend to split up rather than stay together. Without that consideration, Mary tends to become more accepting of invitations, so her body count goes up.

I don’t know how to respond to a post that claims every medical, technological, financial and political threat to our nation (or the world) is the product of a a shadowy cabal. So I won’t. But while there is a lot that’s not yet known about Covid-19, in time we will. Currently knowledgeable people may disagree. One of my college roommates is a research professor on infectious diseases at Johns Hopkins. He thinks it would be perilous at this point to assume the world will not have a very unhappy experience. On the other hand another college friend of mine trained as a microbiologist (and while still a student was lead author of an important paper published in the journal Nature — which I assure you is a very BFD.) He’s quite sanguine about the threat of Covid-19, expecting that more data will show much lower mortality rates that are currently seen, and also that the advent of warmer weather will see a roll-back of infection rates as is the case with flu. He thinks my wife and I should expect that we can take our planned May trip to Ireland and France with little risk. (He believes there’s is a greater risk to the global economy than to health.) These guys are experts in the field and they don’t agree about the degree of risk we have for a reprise of the deadly Spanish flu pandemic of a century ago, which would see millions of fatalities world-wide. I don’t disbelieve either of them. I do expect it won’t require the passage of too much time before we have pretty good clues about the direction. I will say that when interventions in the face of potential public health calamities are successful there’s nothing to see. And that’s the success we should applaud. in terms of the personal implications for swinging, my wife and I have agreed that until the picture becomes clearer, there won’t be any sex outside our marriage.

I have always thought that the advent of the Pill was the green light, the go-ahead for women to safely indulge their sexual urges, within the marriage and non-monogamously. Those of us in our 70's, the Baby Boomers, were the first to achieve our peak sexual years at a time that pregnancy was not a constant worry.

We play with a group of friends primarily. We are usually one of four couples.

My wife and I are part of a closed group of married couples who play. During the week it's mostly twosome alone play and threesomes due to the press of business and family obligations. On weekends it's more couples swaps, although usually someone will stay out to watch the kids.

Chic's right, you should be aware and cool with what you're going to get into. But that doesn't mean you and your SO have to participate in all the activity.