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This should be a real concern not because of news reports but because scientists say so. When the NIH and CDC doctors give reports that we should take precautions, I will listen to them over those who want to make political statements. I want to know why a congressman who made fun of the disease by wearing a gas mask to a vote on funding is now in quarantine. I will take the advice of real doctors not spin doctors. My husband travels and his company is now curtailing business travel. Italy is closed down. Israel is quarantining those entering the country. Ireland has cancelled St. Patrick’s Day celebrations. Do you think they are doing this because CNN is blowing this up? We have curtailed our playing for now. Most of my friends who play have agreed that now is not the time to take chances and my friends are not in the high risk demographic.

We aren't the only ones having this conversation. Here's another opinion. https://slate.com/human-interest/2020/03/open-relationship-coronavirus-advice.html There's a twist there in that there is another person in the household who would be high risk, and so it brings in the element of your decisions vs risks to others. That is an interesting question. Before becoming a husband and father, I used to have a hobby most would consider on the high risk end. I never really dwelled on it. I knew the risks and knew what I was doing and took all the necessary steps to make it as low risk as possible. Once I had more to think about though than just me, then my interest in it just faded away. It really wasn't a conscious decision, it just did. The funny thing there is my main hobby since then is one that most people would consider extremely safe, and something happened and I had a week in the hospital and very nearly died from it. I just say that to say risk assessment is a very individual thing, but what makes it even more a conundrum in something like this is the risk isn't limited to just yourself, your decisions may directly affect others. I'm not saying that means any one size fits all answer is the only right answer for everyone, but just that these are complicated issues and we all deal with them in different ways. Really, it's a lot along the lines of condom use vs bareback discussions we have here and the wide range of opinion on that subject.

You are talking about this and setting up guidelines. That's very good. I see your point about multiple guys, rather than one. You are attempting to ensure 'feelings' don't develop. Okay. But . . . you realize that the standard is for you, too, right? I mean, if you get a girl that's really great in bed, you can't go back for seconds. That's a pretty big restriction. I might suggest that you take the no seconds rule out, and then say if either of you is feeling queasy about one of your spouses partners, you can veto them. It's a little less restrictive.

Individual concerns aside, the World Health Organization has (finally) declared the current situation to be a pandemic. The US case counts are probably just about a week behind Italy, France, Germany and other European countries, while case rate growth is fairly similar.

Swinging for us, suspended until further notice. Parallel mono, in effect! ?

His_harley, what is your concern that they aren't living together? If they are committed to each other, I don't see a problem . . . perhaps they have a situation that prohibits it. I knew a couple that didn't live together because the mother objected. Or maybe one has a pet that the other has allergies to. But, if they are just 'using' each other to enter the LifeStyle, yeah, I see the issue. Just have a talk with them, find out what their situation is, and then make your choice.

Yes we did

When I was a kid, I was promised flying cars...50 years later, no flying cars. Until I get my flying car, I make no predictions...

I see this happening. When I first experienced swinging back in the 1970s women over 60 were very rare, even over 40 were rare. I have to accept that as a 66 y/o male I going to meet more women of similar age, but its clear middle aged and younger males are more accepting of sex with a much older woman. My direct experience maxes out at at age 72, a FWB is 69. A host for swinger events is a very fit 61 y/o lady. Met or chatted with others in the 60s & 70s. They are horny, lubricated, orgasmic, and are aggressively seeking men, or other women, who can give them good sex. The FWB visits the sex clubs several times a year and has no trouble finding multiple men who are both respectful of her age and experience and happy to engage with her. I realize this is a very small sample & is not some tidal wave of elderly female sexuality. Still Its clearly to me a trend that is growing. To quote a woman in her late fifties whom I met at a recent party. 'When my husband passed I thought it was all over for me.' Then she told how her new BF introduced her to the LS & she embraced it full on. I was one of several men she enjoyed that night, using me until I was completely drained.

What an interesting question, Sun. I took some time to think about this, so here goes. Consensual non-monogamy, or the LifeStyle, has been around as long as there have been humans. I have no doubt the real-life characters of the Flintstones and Rubbles swapped occasionally just for fun. Solomon had his concubines. The Romans had orgies. Lord Nelson had a public ménage à trois. Whenever social mores have been accepting, it’s easier to find historical evidence of swapping, hotwifing, etc. Whenever society has clamped down, the behavior has gone underground. But I doubt it absolutely stopped in any society, even the most fundamentalist ones. So, to ask where The Future of Swinging goes is to ask where our social mores are heading. Our society took a big hit during the Victorian era (mid 1800's tp early 1900s.) At that time all ‘improper’ behavior was castigated, in England and Europe and in the United States of America and other places around the globe. Then, in the post World War II era, the pendulum began to swing the other way. First and foremost was the popularity of the automobile. It became relatively easy for girls and boys (and consenting men and women) to get away from prying eyes and do what comes natural. Then came the twin inventions of penicillin and the pill. Once the prevalent diseases of syph and the clap were done away with, and when women could have sex without the fear of becoming pregnant, we were off to the races! Finally, the aura of ‘weird’ sex lost its forbiddeness in the ‘sexual revolution.’ (It wasn’t a revolution, it just crept out of the closet.) The Summer of Love (1967), the Stonewall Riots (1969) and the publication of Cosmopolitan by Helen Gurley Brown beginning in 1965 brought alternative sexual patterns into the sunlight. So people had it on their mind. The biggest problem facing a married couple that wanted to swap was where to find partners. The process was made much easier with the invention and popularization of the World Wide Web in the late 1990s. With websites acting as hook-up agents, it was now possible to easily find willing partners. And that brings us to today, and the future. Social Mores At this moment, the social mores of this country (USA) and other enlightened societies are conducive to the LifeStyle. Other than your family and close friends, many people who are interested in opening their marriage are no longer much afraid of other people finding out what they do on Saturday night. Organized Religion has been losing much of its cachet since the 1960s; there are fewer members of the traditional religions, and even Evangelical churches are beginning to attract fewer people. Reliance on the rules of your particular religion is also slipping; as an example, most Roman Catholics in the United States believe in the Pope, but criticize his stance on a celibate priesthood and abortion. In short, religion is a much reduced check on sexual freedom. The Media is displaying a more and more positive view on alternative lifestyles. Evidence the swinging-based commercials of Slinger, more articles in mainstream magazines and newspapers, and the appearance of swinging in sitcoms and mainstream documentaries. In all probability over the next twenty-five years the social mores will continue to loosen, and a larger of percentage of committed couples will consider opening their marriage; more will wind up experimenting. Of this, a predictable percentage will make it an on-going hobby. But . . . if something occurs that tightens the social mores, we might creep back into the woodwork. Impossible? Oh, no. A catastrophe such as a nuclear war or truly devastating pandemic will do the trick. To see just how close we might be to such a situation, watch The Handmaidens Tale or read If This Goes On by Robert A. Heinlein. It could happen, although I think it’s somewhat unlikely. Disease Sexually transmitted diseases will have an impact on people’s willingness to swing. Currently we have three to eight common diseases that can really screw you up. In the 1960s through the 1980s most people didn’t give STDs a second thought. Syphilis and Gonorrhea were the most prevalent at the time, and both could be easily cured by antibiotics. Then AIDS and HIV became a real threat in the mid 1980s. (That was a true boom for the condom industry!) Since then, other serious diseases have been added to the mixture. The fear of disease leads many people to deny themselves extra-marital sex. If cures for the current diseases are found, there will be more swingers. And my prediction is that there will be cures. However, I could be wrong about that, or new diseases could crop up. In my mind, it’s a wash. Birth Control At this time there are a number of relatively effective methods of birth control, most of them for use by women. It's likely that a birth control pill or other solution for men will be developed. But improvement in this area won't have much impact on the number of swingers. Getting together with like-minded individuals. For most people, particularly newcomers, one of the vexing problems is how to find someone to swing with. There are currently two basic solutions. The first is on-line resources such as Adult Friend Finder and SwingLifeStyle. The usefulness of any particular site depends on developing a large number of clients. Over time, this will get better. Imagine the possibilities if SLS and SDC merged? (And hired professional web developers . . .) This will depend upon market and financial considerations that are difficult to predict. The other is the prevalence of swing clubs. At the current time, there are relatively few operating clubs. Others will open if and only-if it becomes easier and more profitable to do so. If the number of swingers increases as I predict, more clubs will open. But, one of the restrictions on a swing club is zoning laws and political influence. Few mayors are likely to get behind a new swing club as committed Christians are much more numerous and likely to vote. And zoning laws are predicated on the whims of these voters. However, I predict that at some point in the future, the denial of permits to swing clubs will be tested in the courts, as the discriminatory zoning of blacks was done. If the courts rule that it is unconstitutional to block swing clubs, there will be a large increase of places to have fun. In that case, I can see market forces that will impact them, just as there are different bars for different crowds. There will be clubs for the young and pretty, some for empty nesters, and all over Florida clubs will be popping up for the elderly. (They’ll open at two for early-bird specials and by 8:00 the action will be long over! The music will be smooth jazz and classic rock.) Patterns But one thing that won’t change will be the root patterns of swinging. There will still be foursome swaps, orgies, hotwifing activities. Some people will continue to participate in BDSM and other kinks and perversions. The percentage of people who like each category will probably remain relatively constant, Of course, it’s possible that someone will invent a new way to put Tab A into Slot B, but I doubt it.

We hit the strip club Treasures in Vegas on our way to vacation a few weeks ago. (Would not recommend, mediocre experience.) We won't be doing that kind of thing again for a bit or going to large, crowded gatherings with a large number of circulating new people generally. We'll certainly continue to see friends/playmates in largely unaffected areas, but we live close to an active outbreak and won't be socializing with people from that area for a while or traveling through terminals in that city. We're seriously assessing if we want to do anymore flying at all until this has shaken out, I expect that within a week or a month every hub airport is going to be pretty sketchy, hygiene-wise. I work close enough to this field to have a moderately informed opinion, feel free to ignore it: this certainly isn't the Spanish Flu, but outbreaks are placing a horrific burden on hospitals for equipment and personnel they often don't have. Taking some sensible steps beyond normal hygiene to modify your behavior to avoid spreading it is important right now until our system gets to where it needs to be to handle it, which may take a minute, and also is just considerate of the vulnerable and of first responders.

Humans benefit from healthy sexual activity. Orgasms stimulate the body and mind. These claims are backed by science, but (and this is my go-to for any kind of claim) IT MAKES SENSE. The population of older women has long exceeded men. There are some geographic extremes, such as Russia (total population of 140 million) where there are 11 million more women than men. Think about that. A 50/50 distribution would be 70 million each, men and women. That imbalance puts the split at 75.5 million women and 64.5 million men. One in 7 women is an "extra." Couple that with the horrible history of Russia during Stalin and WWII and the Cold War, and it is remarkable that even an impaired society remains. Post-menopausal women have been awarded an exalted place in some societies, and modern society appreciates, with varying degrees, the "usefulness" of older women. As employees who always come to work and don't have the demands of sick children or other obligations; as experienced professionals, often with decades of gathering knowledge. This will be controversial--they don't have hormonal swings like they sometimes did in their youth. They provide family support, work place stability. In my opinion, these women's lives could be improved by healthy sexual activity. I use that term "healthy" to differentiate from what people on this forum know and recognize, I won't detail. Those of us who are older can attest to our relationships being easier, more supportive and "drama-free" than in our youth. I would conclude that society would be wise to embrace ways and means to deliver good sex lives to mature women. Part of that may be some kind of decrease in the youth-oriented, shallow picture of beauty we see in the media. Another might be swinging. Another might be polyamory. There might be others. My mother was 9 years old before women could vote. A Florida law barring women from serving on juries was deemed unconstitutional in 1961. It's a marathon, not a sprint. I'm not holding my breath and standing on one foot. Maybe someday?

Among large portion of the population, at least in the US, its not going to be accepted. Religious reasons being the excuse. among the remainder group sex is likely to increase. Last autumn ai met a 71 y/o woman who had recently taken it up. At a new years party I met a fifty something woman, recently widowed who with the guidance of her new BF was embracing swinging. Along with this & overlapping I'm seeing increasing number of people experimenting and working out poly relation ships. Triads being common, but other combinations & connections as relatively stable long term arraignments. As stable as most modern monogamous marriages in the US. As pointed out earlier in the thread none of this is new, but it more open and the prevalence may be increasing.

We respectfully disagree with this statement. SARS-CoV-2, the virus that causes Covid-19, is a novel pathogen that is demonstrably highly transmissible and demonstrably has serious consequences in vulnerable populations. Unlike influenza for which there is a vaccine and antiviral therapy, there are currently no known effective medical countermeasures against this novel coronavirus. Until further information becomes available from scientists and public health authorities, we think prudence is indicated. Indeed, earlier today a senior USG expert (Dr. Anthony Fauci) made strong and clear recommendations for older Americans, especially those with chronic health conditions, about avoidance of long flights, cruise ships and so on.

I have always thought that the advent of the Pill was the green light, the go-ahead for women to safely indulge their sexual urges, within the marriage and non-monogamously. Those of us in our 70's, the Baby Boomers, were the first to achieve our peak sexual years at a time that pregnancy was not a constant worry.

Fifty years ago was the tail-end of the Sixties. Pineapples, Pampas Grass, group sex, and especially 'Key Parties' were everywhere.