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Twice I have had four guys in me, my pussy, in an afternoon/evening. Which is odd considering that only had sex with five men in my life. (I pick them and use them hard. ? )

Our first swapping a number of years ago was in different rooms where I was made love to my a great man. It was really romantic. The next day was horrible when I was used by that same man for sex in front of others. I also didn’t enjoy watching my husband have sex with another woman and I had no desire to be with another woman. To this day I still prefer being alone with a partner even if others are playing in a party setting. We don’t play very often and it’s mostly with the original couple who doesn’t live close to us. When we do visit them they have invited others to our evenings. Over time I have let myself enjoy other men and even though I was originally repulsed by being with women. Over time I reluctantly did a little play, more allowing and me not a great participant with women. Over the New Year we visited our friends who also invited two other couples. We did play as a group which I don’t know if I was ready for. The couples were not what I thought it was going to be. They were pretty nice people and we enjoyed everything that led up to the inevitable sex. I found myself with a man we just met and was nervous. I wanted to go to a bedroom with him as I am more comfortable that way. We didn’t and all of us stayed in the same room. After a little hesitation I felt more comfortable and started to enjoy. Then I saw two of the women playing and prayed they would leave me alone. Didn’t take long before I was drawn into playing. After some playing and fun at my expense it came out that I enjoy separate room play. I was coaxed into going to another room with one of the women. We spent the rest of the night together at first talking, telling stories and eventually much more. She was great in not forcing me to do things and instead letting things happen. I think I at first felt obligated but it the end I wanted to play. I am still evolving.

It has definitely evolved. Originally it was a lot of MFM threesomes with guys we knew. Then there were more strangers and the group sizes got bigger but I was always there whether I was participating or not. Then it evolved to her fucking guys in other rooms or places where I could hear or see via facetime or speakerphone and that became a whole new fun adventure for us. It's extremely erotic when I don't expect it too. Although at this point any time I see a video call request from one of my friends I just assume I'm going to see their cocks stuffed down my GF's throat.

IMO, it sounds like your wife wants to cheat - I'd guess she already has. I've seen these "set-ups" go very bad and it's all based on the aspect of human-nature, ie, the hunted and the hunter. It is MUCH easier for a woman to get a casual sex partner than it is for a man. Now, add to that, the rule-changes in the game since you last played -- it's "me-too" time brother -- you can easily jam yourself up trying to get some. It's gonna end up with her fucking her brains out while you're sitting home with your thumb up your ass. Doesn't sound like fun to me. ?

We are no longer shaking hands, so Lifestyle activities are definitely on hold for us. We are over 60 years old, so we are in a higher risk category. We are from the better safe than sorry school.

One of the many things I like about this forum is that you are not necessarily going to get the answers you want, but the answers you need to hear. With that spirit in mind, and understanding I am in no way meaning to convey any negativity against you or your wife; I feel the lack of discussion about what each of you doing or has done is a non-starter. There are very few couples that make this work, and for good reason. You are inexperienced in this lifestyle. You're basically giving each other a hall pass to go cheat, but with permission. Imagine the insecurities that can develop, the jealousy in wondering if the other has had sex with somebody recently? This is a very real possibility. Further, most swingers approach the lifestyle as a team; they rejoice in each other's successes, relish hearing about their experiences, and want the best for their spouses. Personally, I find it incredibly erotic for my wife to tell me about her escapades. This often happens in the context of us making love while she tells me about her evening out with another guy. NOT talking about it removes each other from that portion of each of your lives. It's exclusionary, and begins to build walls. This is not good, not good at all. There is also a very serious safety issue. You've said no sex in your home. This means your wife is going to be going off with guys somewhere not at home, and you won't know where or even why she is gone...or if she is gone if you're not at home and don't know she's out. Ok women go on dates all the time, but this is different. If you value your wife's security, then knowing where she is going and with whom is very important. My wife goes on many solo dates. But, I always know where she is going, even what room number at a hotel, and if I need to contact her she will answer the phone. Let's face it; there are some serious creeps out there that may take advantage of the situation and your wife will be at risk. Safety first. Also; the one and done rule plays against the safety issue as well. I feel considerably less comfortable if my wife goes off on a solo date for the first time with someone and I haven't met the guy. She has had a couple of long term boyfriends, and I've felt no qualms at all with her going off to have sex with them. I know she's safe and is going to have a good time. I'd find it less appealing for her to be going off on first time solo dates all the time. Also, as others have said, sex with someone gets better the more times you have sex with them. They learn your likes, dislikes, what feels good, what doesn't. For my wife's part, being able to play multiple times with a guy means that eventually she'll get to play with him without a condom. For her, it feels a lot better and she really enjoys men cumming inside of her, so it's better for her to have a partner with whom she's played many times. Also, this idea that she will play alone and so will you; be prepared that she would be getting a LOT more sex than you will. Finding men to play with a married woman is relatively easy. Finding women to play with a married man, not so much. For every 20 times she plays, you MIGHT play once. MIGHT. Would you be comfortable with that? To be brutally honest here; I'm seeing red flags pop up on this one. Playing alone when you're first getting into this is something that couples do (though it is uncommon), but I don't hear about it happening successfully with couples who don't talk about it. Communication is an absolutely critical key to success in swinging. The _lack_ of it will undermine where you want to go with this. I strongly, strongly advise against it.

Ditch the 'one and done' rule. Sexual experiences improve with repeat performances. Partners learn each others wants and wishes and develop trust and comfort over time. And, frankly - the one and done rule heavily favors the men. They are going to get off, guaranteed. First time for ladies, much lower percentage.

We aren't the only ones having this conversation. Here's another opinion. https://slate.com/human-interest/2020/03/open-relationship-coronavirus-advice.html There's a twist there in that there is another person in the household who would be high risk, and so it brings in the element of your decisions vs risks to others. That is an interesting question. Before becoming a husband and father, I used to have a hobby most would consider on the high risk end. I never really dwelled on it. I knew the risks and knew what I was doing and took all the necessary steps to make it as low risk as possible. Once I had more to think about though than just me, then my interest in it just faded away. It really wasn't a conscious decision, it just did. The funny thing there is my main hobby since then is one that most people would consider extremely safe, and something happened and I had a week in the hospital and very nearly died from it. I just say that to say risk assessment is a very individual thing, but what makes it even more a conundrum in something like this is the risk isn't limited to just yourself, your decisions may directly affect others. I'm not saying that means any one size fits all answer is the only right answer for everyone, but just that these are complicated issues and we all deal with them in different ways. Really, it's a lot along the lines of condom use vs bareback discussions we have here and the wide range of opinion on that subject.

You are talking about this and setting up guidelines. That's very good. I see your point about multiple guys, rather than one. You are attempting to ensure 'feelings' don't develop. Okay. But . . . you realize that the standard is for you, too, right? I mean, if you get a girl that's really great in bed, you can't go back for seconds. That's a pretty big restriction. I might suggest that you take the no seconds rule out, and then say if either of you is feeling queasy about one of your spouses partners, you can veto them. It's a little less restrictive.

I don’t know how to respond to a post that claims every medical, technological, financial and political threat to our nation (or the world) is the product of a a shadowy cabal. So I won’t. But while there is a lot that’s not yet known about Covid-19, in time we will. Currently knowledgeable people may disagree. One of my college roommates is a research professor on infectious diseases at Johns Hopkins. He thinks it would be perilous at this point to assume the world will not have a very unhappy experience. On the other hand another college friend of mine trained as a microbiologist (and while still a student was lead author of an important paper published in the journal Nature — which I assure you is a very BFD.) He’s quite sanguine about the threat of Covid-19, expecting that more data will show much lower mortality rates that are currently seen, and also that the advent of warmer weather will see a roll-back of infection rates as is the case with flu. He thinks my wife and I should expect that we can take our planned May trip to Ireland and France with little risk. (He believes there’s is a greater risk to the global economy than to health.) These guys are experts in the field and they don’t agree about the degree of risk we have for a reprise of the deadly Spanish flu pandemic of a century ago, which would see millions of fatalities world-wide. I don’t disbelieve either of them. I do expect it won’t require the passage of too much time before we have pretty good clues about the direction. I will say that when interventions in the face of potential public health calamities are successful there’s nothing to see. And that’s the success we should applaud. in terms of the personal implications for swinging, my wife and I have agreed that until the picture becomes clearer, there won’t be any sex outside our marriage.

COVID-19 is the latest in a constant series of fear mongering enterprises: Y2K, Anthrax, West Nile Virus, SARS, Bird Flu, Ecoli, the 2008 Financial Crisis/Great Recession; Swine Flu, BP oil spill, the Mayan Calendar, North Korea (now, that one is realistic), Ebola, ISIS and Russia. Nearly every year. I'm worried about the little boy who cried "Wolf" too often.

I can say we have evolved. She has been open to playing with other women and we had a threesome with a woman friend. I never thought I would have a threesome with another man. Even if I watched her with another partner I always kept my distance. My wife had suggested we do a threesome with a man we met. I told her she could meet him alone and she said she wanted both of us. TBH I didn’t want to be close to a penis. I finally gave in. It was strange at first and turned out well.

I so agree that evolving is exciting. I remember when we first started swapping, followed by orgies, then hotwifing, then . . . It seemed like every time we went out, something new happened. Now, after a couple of decades, I think we've explored everything we care to. We know we're not into certain things - BDSM, golden showers, foot fetish, etc. So that excitement seems like it's behind us. That's okay, when we meet new potential play partners, my heart still starts racing!

Aren’t we all evolving. Staying static would be a bore. You have evolved into my beginnings. I know longer make judgments to what is wrong or right. I don’t overthink what others think. I don’t know how I allowed myself to be intimate with my girlfriend yet I did and I now say so what. I felt very little guilt being with her and I didn’t do it to please my boyfriend. My evolving is your beginnings, being alone with a partner. My husband doesn’t have a need to watch me, he does enjoy watching with my girlfriends not with men so much. You are correct in saying that intimacy is different when alone with a partner. Others on here will say swinging is a couples thing, something you do together. If that is what is good for those people that’s great. For me the excitement started with being with girlfriends. It was totally new to me and almost all my swinging centered on me exploring that. I evolved to playing in groups and then to being alone with guys. To me the excitement is to continue to evolve. Have fun exploring.

Intercourse without condom, no anal, and only French kiss the ladies.

Finding it hard to believe that french kissing came in third.