Well, we made the right call coming back from our vacation a week early. It's gone from "no toilet paper" to "no frozen vegetables, no frozen fruit, no meat of any kind, no apples, only the worst brand of frozen pizza, bananas are rationed...", but we're pretty well set. We are curfewed like little kids and nearly everything social is closed, as is Ms. E's workplace.
On the upside, I managed to get a new set of adjustable dumbbells before they went out of stock so we can work out at home together, we picked up plenty of red wine, and I have what works out to 240 mg of Cialis stockpiled courtesy of my insurance plan, enough for Mrs. E and I to bang more or less continuously for the...60 days, give or take. We'll be alright. Maybe we should self-publish smut or something while we have all this free time.