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I think limiting it doggy style and no oral or kissing isn’t going to make a difference. If someone there has it it’s still close enough contact. You may feel better but the risk is still there.

There is really only one pathway to learn her true thoughts and feelings and desires, and that's through her. The trying to "arrange the pieces" approach to lead a spouse into swinging never works, at least long term. Finding some guy to be a piece in that scheme by flirting with her isn't going to get you any further along,, and in fact sets you back even though you may not realize it at the time. Why? Because it wasn't something you did together, it was something you arranged. Swinging just doesn't work any other way than together. I would recommend that instead you put your energy into truly talking with her, putting your viewpoint aside long enough to see hers, and all of the other things that go into open and honest communication that is two way. That should be your first goal, getting that going. Does it guarantee swinging? Nope. It will pay dividends though in an improved relationship, and that's really what is important.

So long as it's not the same couples.

I don't have any Flaming O's in my yard. There are lots of other birds and the occasional raccoon or possum. Rattlesnake are both rare and doomed when they show themselves.

But if they were, you can be certain that their backswing was excellent.

I predict that there will be a baby boom nine months from now.

No offense taken...everyone has a right to feel and think the way they do, and perhaps I didn't quite get the spirit of what I was saying across My mechanic also purchases things from my warehouse, and we never set prices on his services or my stuff, it's more of a fun, mutual agreement. He'll tell me what he's got tied up in parts, or I'll tell him how much I've got tied up in product, we'll cover materials in cash, and then just grin at each other and head off to a private spot to trade out our "profit". Neither one of us are trying to cut the other out of what we have to get back out of what we do, but neither one of us is concerned with making money off the other either, we'd rather just have a few minutes of fun in exchange for our work. Sure, we could just pay each other the going rates for what we do or sell, and then take the cash and go do something fun elsewhere, but why bother, when we'd just as soon do it this way and it's mutually enjoyable for everyone? As for self-respect, if it weren't a situation that I was in control of, I might feel badly about it, but there's very little out there that I could do sexually that would make me feel negatively about myself, as long as it's my decision. And, not to hijack the thread, but simply as an aside (and perhaps I should start a new thread on it), but I've never understood the negative implications behind the concept of prostitution. You can trade your skills as a typist, doctor, pizza boy, gas pump jockey, cabinet maker, bank teller, sales clerk, etc, for cash, but if you trade skills that involve your genitalia for cash, it's different? Other that the law of the land stating that it's wrong, I can't see the difference. I'm quite sure that that statement will draw some fire, but I enjoy a good debate, so have at it. Other than the knee-jerk reaction of "ooh, that's bad, and those must be bad men and women that do it", what reasons do you all have for your negative reactions? I'm not being confrontational or smart-alecky with the question, I'm genuinely interested in hearing your responses. I find other peoples reactions and feelings on the subject fascinating. And, before anyone goes on a tangent about it let's go ahead and get it out of the way, yes, I know that this is a swinger's forum and that prostitution has no place in the swinging lifestyle. I'm not asking how you would feel about hookers in your bedroom, just what your logical reasons are for any negative feelings you have about the concept of prostitution in general. I'm sure that my outlook on it is different from the norm, due to having spent several years as an adult entertainer. I tend not to put a lot of emotional attachment on sexual acts, and having made a living off simulating them while I was in my twenties has given me less of a sense of stigma to the whole concept of "paying to play". Anything I do sexually is simply something I do for fun, just like some people fish, watch tv, or throw frisbees. Thanks for taking the time to read this, and thanks to those of you who will respond (even those of you who will flame me for it, as I value your right to your opinions also). And if I'm still unclear in anything I've said, please let me know and I'll see if I cant clarify my responses further.