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I think this is a complicated subject, we don't have all the information, and none of us have gone through anything like this before - so trying to foretell the future is hard. But I take the writings of those who have gone through other wide spread social upheavals to heart when they say that things will never get back to normal - at least if we define normal as the way things were - the way we were - before this started. Sure things will become less restrictive, and less anxious, but the emotional and social scars of this (literally) global event will be with us all forever. I won't be surprised to see a huge uptick in folks struggling with agoraphobia and social anxiety when this is all over, you cannot go through several months of actively avoiding (and being worried by) being in close proximity to others and not have that leave a lasting mark. We're all struggling with grief over the loss of our regular routines, our plans, our excitement for the future, but when this period of physical distancing ends, I expect we'll all struggle with the inherent changes that brings too (It'll just be traumatic in different ways - restaurants, bars, and clubs that couldn't survive; people who are no longer here, or the same; feelings of guilt or residual fear). Some folks may jump into the fray as if to try to reclaim what was lost, or make up for lost time, but I suspect that many of those will suffer aftershocks of anxiety, guilt, and fear that they are not expecting. Some may never be able to let go of the fear that being around others is an existential danger at all. I don't know. I do know, that regardless, we need to be kind to ourselves, and to each other. This is big, and scary, and the future is uncertain. Stay safe all. D

Well, I can say my father and step-mother were not sex-positive parents. When I was 17 in the mid-sixties, a senior in high school, my girlfriend came over when the old folks were supposed to be away for a few hours. We went into my bedroom and started messing around, we were both naked, and sure enough, they come home early. There was no way to hide it, my girlfriend’s car was in the driveway. I told her to get in the closet, they came down the stairs, yelling. They wanted her to show herself, I just said, “Oh, c’mon!” They finally left, I had my girlfriend come out of the closet and get out of there as fast as she could. The ensuing conversation was awkward, to say the least. They tried to ground me, I just laughed about it, kept going to work and school. Since I didn’t have a car yet, I couldn’t just drive away, but I did act very belligerently for a few days. The next weekend, my dad took me aside and tried to have the birds and the bees talk. I gave him a lecture on the various methods of birth control that were available at that time, didn’t say which one we used. Then I told him to get over it. He finally did, my step mother never did. (But that’s another story.) What makes this even worse is I was the youngest of five children. Don’t tell me my dad didn’t have similar problems with my older siblings. By that time, he should have expected I’d be having sex. Take this as a lesson on how not to be sex-positive parents.

I dunno, I think once people are told it's safe enough to hangout shoulder-to-shoulder in a crowded bar -- or jam into a crowded train - and they do so without repercussions, swingers clubs and parties will come back instantaneously. And right well they should. Let's not ignore the fact that the VAST majority of us will not get the coronavirus. I fully expect a second wave of COVID-19 this fall but once there is a vaccine, everything - and I mean everything, will return to as close as to normal as can/should reasonably be. I think the lessons learned here will actually make swinging safer. People conscious of more hand washing/touching their face and the reduction of casual handshaking will lower the instances of the common cold and routine flu by 60 percent. We'll all be healthier, so let's get laid! ???

Seriously peeps....explain why the need to ghost someone? We met another couple, had dinner a couple times, seemed to have lots in common, enjoyed each other’s company, exchanged lots of emails and texts...seemed to really be a blossoming friendship. Honestly, I don’t know how far it would have gone because after making tentative plans they just disappeared. Gone. Poof. No more emails/texts. They are still in the LS it seems. Its really too bad because in vanilla life, this would have been a good friendship. I just don’t see the need to ghost. Just be upfront and honest.

To me, there is a VAST difference in non monagomy and having an affair. Non monagamy that invokes knowledge of (for sure!) and participation of both parties, such as swinging. An affair means lies, sneaking, deceit and is hurtful to one partner. That being said, what happens between a married or committed couple is their own business....if they’re happy with non monogamy....good for them.

Totally agree. It's happened to us, happens to many people in this LIfeStyle. It sucks.

That's a strange question on SO many levels. ???

If people are waiting for a vaccine to be developed and available expect to be waiting at least 18 months!

If your look at the overall population of the US, blacks make up roughly 13-15%. We have been swinging since 2003, initially primarily at clubs in the northeast corridor and at Desire. Our overall experience is, I guess anecdotal, but the number of black couples we've seen in those settings were few and far between and probably a much smaller proportion in the swinger population than in the general population of the country. I can't even begin to guess why that appears to be so. We've seen way more mixed couples over the years than black couples and way, way more single black males than single black females. The original question, "how do swingers feel about black females" is simple for us, we like females, Mrs Doc is more or less bi-lite and I am a pure heterosexual. If we meet a woman who is either single or part of a couple and who is attractive, intelligent and playful and who is interested in us, race is a non issue. In fact, one of our most memorable nights was at a halloween party at a club. Everyone was in costume of course, and as the night progressed we and our friends noticed a black woman in a very sexy Klingon costume complete with the oversized forehead. Mrs Doc and I spoke to her a couple of times in passing and found out that she was single and it was her first club visit. She did say she was primarily interested in having a bisexual experience and since that was not my wife's focus, we figured we had seen the last of her as we and our friends (another couple) headed off to find a room. We were sorta playing together in the hallway, there may have been some boobage going on etc, until a room opened and the Klingon walked by and stopped to watch/chat a little. We found an open door and as we and our friends went in the Klingon asked if she could join us again saying she was interested in women. She was very nice and very attractive and our friend was a bit more than curious so we invited the Klingon in. We all pretty much undressed each other and the Klingon was just as sexy out of the costume. The other wife and her engaged in some bi-play, there was a lot of foreplay among the 5 of us. Then she went down on Mrs Doc and while her butt was up in the air, I asked if I could touch her and she said yes. She licked my wife to several orgasms while I fingered her and she just got wetter and wetter and thrusted back onto my hand. The other wife saw her reaction and she asked if she wanted me to boink her. She said yes so I did. Before the night was over, She gave the other guy a bj, we both went down on her, both guys came at some point with somebody and the Klingon and both wives had multiple orgasms. It was an incredible night. We only ever got her first name, she told us she was not on any swinger sites but said she'd be back to the club. Neither we nor our friends ever saw her there again. Im sure there was more to her story but I'm fairly certain we four provided her with a fun evening.

We are all the same size in bed. People seem to find the vital parts regardless of height. One just has to move around a bit.

My late wife was 5'9" tall. I'm 5'3". Laura was asked many times in our 30 year marriage, "Why did you marry such a short man?" She had a standard reply: "I'd rather measure a man from the bottom of his heart to the top of his mind. He's the tallest man I've ever met." Oh, my! How I loved that woman!