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A hobby? Most definitely! But as Adam said there really ARE 2 different forms. We make love together and we like to fuck other people. It feels good and it's amazing to watch my wife getting pleasure from someone else and let's face it.....it's fun to be naughty.

NC I suspect a creative writing error.

hello my sexy friends! We are a young couple in our mid 20s from just north of Toronto . we are struggling to find the right person or couple to start off with. We are on swingtown primarily But just got on swinging lifestyles as some gifted anomoynes year membership. We have chated with a few couples and few we find quite attractive. So our questions are: 1)as Canadians what site do you us primarily. 2) how do you know if it's a couple that is no longer together?

For the past few months I’ve been trying to find other ways of occupying my time besides sex sites, but nothing really peaks my imagination. My SO has many hobbies and can usually start a new hobby about every three to six months. She also isn’t thrilled that I’m into lifestyle things and prefers me to not involve myself in sites like this since she found me sneaking around her back and considers it dirty and cheating. Idk I feel empty without it and sad when I can’t be involved. Maybe I’m suffering from a sexual addiction but was wondering what other people think? Also she said I should ask my people on Facebook before if this would be considered wrong but that’s definitely not going to happen. Obviously most people would consider this wrong and might think negatively of me. I don’t even talk to my closest friends (which only consist of two co-workers) about this she’s the only person who knows and only person I’ve received feedback from unfortunately all negative.

If you're worried about what other people think, then you shouldn't be involved in something that is on the front edge of human social evolution. I don't talk to others about the sexual aspects of my life, but they know that I live with a group of people who treat each others children as their own. I'm viewed as the professional, conservative, hippie chick, but living in a liberal part of the country, people don't make an issue of it.

Yes, for us, sex is a hobby. There are two parts to this. The first is sex between Mary and I. This was a hobby even before we got into ethical non-monogamy, and although it's changed a bit since we got into the sport, it's still the same to a great extent. It's about pleasuring each other, making sure we're both taken care of. Then there's sex between us and others. There's some times when we just want to have this need of ours taken care of! It has a lot more to do with fantasies than the actual sex. And there's other times (this happens to me more than it does to Mary,) when the only thing I really want out of it is to make sure my partner is sweating bullets at the end of it; to the point that I'm willing to forego my own orgasm and other pleasures if I can get the other lady to have one of the best times of her life. Sex is a lot better than bowling!

Recreational sex is one of the hobbies we share and enjoy together. It is OURS not mine alone. If you've been sneaking around or cheating in the name of lifestyle activities you won't find much of a welcome among swingers. Continue to do so at the peril of your marriage. I have more news for you too; watching porn isn't swinging and it isn't the problem, you're either bored or depressed and its likely that your marriage is in trouble. Address those issues first WITH your wife and maybe with counseling. Swinging only works when couples are both on board equally and you two are not.

Oh, and by the way! We are envious of you!! We started swinging in our 40's and have always wished we had discovered recreational sex 20 years before we did!

Our first experiences occurred at swinger clubs in Pennsylvania in 2003 so we highly recommend that method. Question #2 is a bit more difficult. If you're talking about a profile on a website, read the profile closely. If it speaks primarily to what he wants or uses "I" rather than "we" in sentences, and if there are little or no references to the females wants, needs, or skills. you probably have a single guy or a cheater. Look also at the validations if any and how they're worded and the dates of validation. If there is no mention in the more recent ones of the female half, there is no female half. Also look closely at the pictures. Is there a woman featured? Is it the same woman? If not, or if there are only 2-3 pics of him or his boat or motorcycle or car, its a single guy or a cheater. If you agree to meet a couple and only a guy shows up with some lame excuse, don't bother to listen, just leave. SLS has a lot of Canadian members and so does SDC. We know because we've met quite a few through both sites who winter or vacation in Florida where we now live. Understand, swinger sites do reflect the general population, there are flakes, fakes, liars and cheats everywhere but there are also many, many attractive, wonderful, playful and loving couples who want to share all of that with others. The selection process is the difficult part in finding playmates and early on, we had some disappointing interactions, but as we have refined our process, we found way more real and playful couples than not. You'll learn from each experience. Talk about it afterwards, almost debrief one another to determine what you liked, what you didn't and then make adjustments to your search and selection process to reflect what you two just learned. It gets easier with each experience. Oh, and trust your gut!! You don't owe anybody anything other than initial courtesy. Mrs Doc and I agreed after a bad experience in our first year that, if at any time, one or the other of us had a negative gut reaction, we leave immediately, no questions asked and no explanation other than, "Im sorry. I don't think this is working for US". Don't get distracted by the idea of strange sex or how attractive one or the other in the couple is to one of you (Mrs Doc called it "boob blindness") you'll probably never see those people again and your relationship should always be THE priority.

Most certainly. Also a recreational activity as well as entertainment.....and just plain fun. However, like art....it is in the eye of the beholder, or everyone has their own opinion and perception. So it depends. Even with in the lifestyle each participant has his or her definition of who they are, what is acceptable and what is not. Who and how they participate. What activities etc. and even have opinions of others and their activities.....if it is acceptable to them. so no hard and fast box or rule applies.

Having trouble reconciling your two posts in different forums. Why was your husband trying to hook up with a woman at a swing club if he suffers from ED ... ???

We would highly recommend finding a local meet and greet. We have made some good friends.......with benefits through our local group. Even ultra conservative small towns you will be surprised how many like minded people there are. It does take a bit more work but it's worth it. Welcome to the board ?

As to your second question, it would depend on how much interaction you've had with the couple. If you've met them in person, you should have a good feeling for that. What is your gut reaction? If not, assume they are a couple that is together until they give you a reason to doubt them. I look forward to hearing more of your query about this couple, and welcome to the board.

I will not be able to answer you questions about the state-of-swing in Ontario, but I will welcome you warmly to Swingersboard.

Such a woman is called a "pillow queen." It is a disparaging term, implying that she takes but doesn't give back. There is one in our group, but guess what? All the other women love her and compete for her attention to see who gets to take care of her that way. (The guys hardly ever get a chance.) Long ago I had a girlfriend who loved getting oral but wouldn't suck dick. That was ok, I still liked eating her. Nothing says everything has to be symmetric between everyone.

It's all a matter of where you draw the line, a topic of endless debate.

THAT is my point….The government, city, county, state or federal, does NOT have the authority to tell me whether or not I can go to work, or have three naked couples in my spa (so much for distancing) or go to church or go to a sex club. Who determines if Im in good health? Will there be a selection process? Will we be issued a work permit or a health certificate? I can hear it now…."PAPERS, schnell!! We already have local tv station websites providing phone numbers for people to report "violators" of social distancing or mask requirements to the "authorities". If this kind of crap doesn't scare you, you have not studied history.

Some (most) people are not interested in swinging. It took me a very long time to talk my wife into it. Depending on your spouse, it may not happen. Obviously, all bets are off with the corona virus mess.

We're in the same situation. We're both very different kinds of people. When I broach the subject ion the light of day, she gets butt-hurt and goes of on me saying that "I'm not enough for you." OTOH, when she's sitting on me and I say, "It would be so hot if another guy or girl was licking your butt right now," she kind of digs it. So that's the approach that I'm taking these days.

Here is the story of our first threesome. It all started with our weekend vacation to San Francisco. We had an amazing day sight seeing and day drinking. We returned to our hotel slightly buzzed and proceeded to get ready for dinner. Before going out, I set her up with a vibrating panties. We went to an expensive seafood dinner and I continued to tease throughout the meal. At one point, she went to the bathroom and I accidentally left it on and she had her first orgasm of the night. After dinner, we had then gone to a bar to have after dinner cocktails. While at the bar, we ran into an old coworker I had worked with about 10 years ago. We all had a beer at the bar and he let us know how he was now a massage therapist. His appointment that evening had cancelled and already paid him for the session. We brought the party back to our hotel and continued to have another beer and played a game of pool. Since I had beaten him at pool, the bet was he had to give my wife a massage for free. My wife had complained about being really sore from previous weeks workout. Sure enough, our new friend met us at our hotel room with his massage table. He went to the bathroom to get ready while my wife striped down to her panties and got under the sheet. The massage started out like your standard massage and he started by giving her a very intense back massage. After He finished massaging my wife’s back, he pulled the sheet over her and started to massage her legs and hamstrings. He had used long strokes and massages my wife’s hamstrings and her butt, while she was still wearing panties. At one point, I asked her if she would like it if He would continue to massage her butt, and if it was ok if she took her panties off. She appeared really turned on and agreed and I helped her take her panties off. From there, our friend continued to massage her butt with long snow strokes and would occasionally brush her pussy. I could tell my wife was extremely turned on as she would moan softly every time he got close to her pussy. On the flip, He kept my wife draped with a sheet and had continued to massage the front of her legs. She again would continue to moan every time he got close to her sensual areas. I then motioned for him to massage her head and chest, eventually leading to her 34C breast. He continued to use long strokes while he massages my wife’s boobs and continues to her stomach. He then ran his hands over her shortly trimmed public hair and then brushed her clit. At this point; my wife was moaning very loudly and we could tell she wanted more. Our friend then continued to massage my wife’s clit and added some massage oil and started to finger her to her second orgasm of the night. My wife had her second and third orgasm while being fingered by our new friend. I then motioned for him to take of his pants and suggested my wife repay the favor. He quickly dropped his pants all the while continuing to massage my wife’s breast and pussy. I directed her had to our friend cock and she began jerking him off while he played with her pussy. At this time, I told my wife that she should fuck him. She asked me if it was ok and I told her I would like nothing better. We then took the party to our bed and I handed him a condom, which he happily put on. My wife started in doggy style and he slowly inserted his hard cock into my wife’s soaking wet pussy. Watching my wife fuck a new guy after almost 20 years is being together was the hottest moment in our sex life. He was fucking my wife doggy style while I made our with her. It seemed like she came another 2 times with this new cock in her pussy. She then rolled over onto her back and Will continued to have sex with her missionary. He rode her for a couple minutes until I interrupted them so I could have a turn inside her wet vagina. I then mounted her and felt her have another orgasm. He was standing by the edge of the bed and I pushed her toward him. He then entered her again for a few thrust, but it seemed like her was close to his own orgasm. He pulled out and licked my wife’s clit, until she came an additional 2 times. After 2 more orgasms, he inserted his hard cock into her pussy for a final time and blew his load in the condom. After he unloaded into the condom, I lied flat on the bed and my wife rode my cock for a couple minutes until we both came. I shot my load deep into her push and she rolled off of me, completely exhausted. She almost immediately passed out completely naked and my friend and I had laid next to her for a couple minutes before he got up, got dressed, and packed up his stuff. We talked briefly and he left us while she was passed out. I crawled back into bed and held my naked wife as we both passed out. I hope you enjoyed the story of our first threesome.

Yes. Well, we managed to be happily married having "vanilla sex" for eleven years before we started swinging, so yes. No, it wouldn't. I can't say I wouldn't miss it to a degree (depending on the reason Mr. Sweet were to ask that we stop), but I love and respect him enough to do what it takes for him to be happy. Yes, to a degree, swinging would always be a part of our lives, but at that point, it would become fond memories for us to share. =)