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Those of you who are new and thinking about swinging or those that are veterans will hopefully find something in this post to appreciate. I think it has been…maybe six years since our last post. I don’t really know or have the energy to investigate the exact amount of time, lol. However, we are not dead, divorced, or have otherwise changed too much over the years. A few more wrinkles since our last post and a little more wear and tear on the body, but zero regrets. So, hello to all of my old friends and hi to everyone we don’t know yet. I just want to share some insights that almost twelve years of swinging have brought us. I hope you enjoy. When you are new, I think everyone approaches swinging with a sense of wonder and nervous excitement. For some, it’s too much to cope with emotionally, jealousy and envy leads the relationship to tragedy. For some, it brings out the flaws in one’s relationship and they crash and burn because they turned to swinging to solve an issue that would have been better dealt with through counseling, not fucking other people. For many, they strike a balance between the one they love and with the ones they want to love at that moment. Feel free to substitute any word there that makes you comfortable -- if love is too personal. We fit in that latter statement. The sex is still just as exciting as ever, whether together or with others. We have collected so many “been there, done that” t-shirts. We have swung together, same room, different rooms, different states, had a few poly relationships/dated separately, threesomes, foursomes, puppy piles. We have spread our wings and still seem to love each other at the end of the day. I’m not saying it has been perfect. It is a relationship with another human being and there has been fights, insults, hurt feelings, hurt partners, bad breakups with others. Life is messy and beautiful at the same time. If you can accept that, you have a great head start. So what would I share with those looking at this from the outside or just dipping their toes into the waters? First, once pandora is out of the box, there is no going back, only dealing with the consequences. And more than likely, one of you is going to like it more than the other. It’s okay. If you love your partner, you love them for who they are, fetishes and all, and they love you the same in return. If you can’t love what your partner loves, you are in for some tough times swinging, because this will bring everything to the surface. Swinging is not a tit for tat and almost always, at some point, one is getting more out of it than the other. That will alternate. Here is a biggie, sex is ALWAYS more exciting with a new partner than with your SO. I may get some heat for that one, I’m sorry. I’m not saying it’s better, but definitely more exciting. It’s hard to compete between sex with a stranger to having sex at home, same time, same place, same position, trying to have sex without waking the kids, the dog, the neighbors. Also the strangers you are having sex with didn’t just argue with you two hours before about the bills. They don’t want to know about your politics, your religion, they just want to fuck your brains out and then go home. It’s just one of swinging’s brutal truths that I believe most people will deny so their partners feelings don’t get hurt. Most people don’t’ want to believe that their SO is capable of being completely satisfied by someone else. I put it to people this way…why would you want you wife or husband to fuck someone else for bad sex? If you are going to fuck other people, it should be amazing or why do it? Eventually, you will hit the seven-year itch…okay, not really, but just like the seven-year itch in a relationship, you MAY reach a period where you are more interested in only fucking other people than your spouse or just not fucking at all. It has nothing to do with any lack of love, understand that most likely, it has to do with escaping the stress that is in the relationship rather than dealing with it. If you hit this point, it’s time to regroup and know that it’s normal. We know several successful couples and they have all experienced something similar. Poly – this was very hard as we looked for it together with another couple vs. each of us looking independently. There are some good poly sites out there but ultimately, we discovered that we were actually just looking for deep relationships but not to actually be in love. The male half here, I found sex more exciting if I had some connection with my partner. I didn’t want another wife, but I wanted someone who was into me on a more personal level. Those were a fun couple of years but those were some of the most disastrous break ups because you or your spouse will always be ready to move on before the other is ready. At least, that was the case for us. This is often the case with your regular couples outside of poly, one or the other will always be ready to move on before the other. However, with poly, you are more emotionally invested. There are still people out there that we love, we just can’t be with them for different reasons. Same with any relationship that isn’t meant to last. Full circle – once you have pretty much checked every block, you realize that you chose your spouse for a reason. Nobody gets you like they do. Nobody accepts you for who you are like they do. And you are thankful every day that you have an SO that is in the lifestyle with you and that sharing is caring. Only in the lifestyle do you truly get more if you share. Good luck swingers!

An article from Canadian Broadcasting Corporation, polyamory during a pandemic: https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/polyamory-pandemic-1.5608920

Mrs. Playcouple, who was away on business, called Mrs. Alura from London. She had talked to Mr. Playcouple. He was horny and could sure use some pussy. Would Laura be so kind? She'd make it up to us when she returned. Mr. Playcouple was a professor. Mrs. Alura agreed to a threesome at our place, 9:00 AM tomorrow, when Pat had no classes before Noon. Laura met him at the door in a negligee. It was so much fun that we repeated it before Jo got home. And then, several times thereafter, with Jo included, of course. Day time is a fine time for swinging.

It finally happened! My wife and I have been to a few swinger clubs, but she only allowed people to watch never touch, this went on for a few years. We were talking and I was explaining the way we should look at is that adding another guy is like me using her toys on her, use it, have fun then put it away. I asked her how about an erotic massage in a nice hotel by me and another guy? To my surprise and excitement, she said she thinks she could do that! My wife is a 42 yr old Colombian with large man-made C cups, thin waist and a med/lg ass. She only had 4 lovers in her past and all of them just did vanilla sex. Boy did I expand her world when we got married LOL! She is absolutely beautiful with a heart of gold, so I wanted to make sure this was amazing but most of all safe. I came up with limits so she would feel comfortable and safe. First, she would be on the massage table, when he came in and she would be blindfolded as she gets embarrassed easily. Second, the guy would not talk unless asked something by me or her. Third, no rough stuff, just gentle massage. I would allow oral and fingering on her by him but oral on him only if she initiated it. Fourth, I told her at the end after we make her cum, I would ask her Green light, Yellow light or Red light? Green would be to continue with sex from both of us, yellow is sex with me only but he can watch and touch, and Red was thank you but he leaves as I want only my husband now. Lastly, I would meet with the guy before the massage and if I felt the slightest hesitation, I would call it off. She liked the rules. I then started looking when “S” PM’d me. He said he was flying into San Antonio on business and was willing to help. We PM’d back and forth while giving me advice as he said he had helped others get introduced into the LS. He answered every question I had so we made plans to meet when he landed and give the massage to my wife later that evening (only time we both had before he returned home). When I met him a few hours prior to the massage he was so polite that my anxiety level went to zero. We again went over the wife’s limits I came up with and he had no problem with any of them. My wife was blindfolded and on the massage table with a towel over her ass when he arrived. He immediately went to the restroom and undressed and washed his hands. When he came out, massage music was playing, and I had those battery powered candles lighting the room. To make her comfortable with another man’s hands on her we started with her neck and back. After about 10 minutes we moved the towel covering her ass and we began to massage her lower half. We moved slow going from her ass back up to her back then down her legs. I bent her knee moving her lower leg inward at an angle and her pussy became exposed to him for the first time. The light from the candles made her already wet pussy glisten. As we rubbed her inner thighs we would graze her pussy lips…..she was SOOO wet. When we flipped her we began working on her breasts. I was getting so turned on watching another man touch my woman. “S” moved nice and slow over her nipples then down her arm as I did the same. Her nipples were becoming hard as we lightly massaged each breast. We went lower toward her landing strip pubic hair but being careful not to go too far in order to drive her wild. When we moved to her legs, we started with her feet then moved up. We bent both of her legs inward at an angle so the bottom of her feet were touching each other…..this opened her pussy wide. We again worked her inner thighs but this time moving our hands right over her pussy lips……this drove me wild seeing him touch her. I then went down on her and she was drenched in her juices, NOT just wet….drenched, and it tasted so good. At that point I looked up at “s” and offered my wife’s pussy to him. He began to eat her out and I saw her mouth open and could tell she was in pure ecstasy. He wrapped his lips around her clit and sunk his fingers deep inside her…..she let out an amazing moan. I got out the clit vibrator and started to tease her clit while “S” bent two of his fingers to massage her g-spot. I handed the vibrator to “S” while I started to massage her breasts and nipples. “S” kept up the fingering mixed with licking until she had the most intense orgasm, I have ever seen her have! She about rolled off the table it was so intense! She motioned for him to stop but continued to twitch for over a minute. After we let her calm down, I moved her to the edge of the table spreading her legs apart and started to fuck her. She was so soaking wet I slid right in. I looked over and she had “S” cock in her hand slowly playing with it…..I had to think of baseball in order not to cum right there LOL!! “S” then moved to the head of the table to hold her head as it was falling off the table…..what a gentleman! She grabbed his arms and had another orgasm while I came deep in her soaking pussy. “S” smiled at me and quietly left as my wife and I held each other. It was perfect. She told me she LOVED the experience and wants to do it again ?. We went home and fucked two more times. The next day “S” texted me to check on my wife to make sure she was doing good. I can’t tell you enough how much I appreciate “S” in helping us take the next step……thanks man!!……D&J

What an awesome post, thank you so much for sharing!! Every word so true and spot on. There are some things that can only be spoken by a voice of experience, and your post is certainly that. I heard a song I've heard a thousand times again the other day, and this time, one of the lyrics really struck me as it pertains to swinging. I was actually going to start a thread on it, but think I'll use it here. Sometimes at night, I see their faces, I feel the traces they've left on my soul. Those are the memories that made me a wealthy soul, Tell you, those are the memories that make me a wealthy soul. It's obvious that the last 12 years have produced many memories, and that indeed makes you a wealthy soul.

That's a really interesting and well done article, thanks for sharing. Refreshing to read something on this subject without obvious or subtle judgemental tones to it. In another example of different but similar when it comes to poly vs swinging, our poly friends are hitting on a theme we often talk about here, in that the more people are involved, the more complicated things get. Just a hurdle, not an impenetrable barrier, but it does take a skill set like they mention regarding open and honest communication, respect for others feelings and perspectives, etc. The extra level of commitment in some poly relationships (cohabiting, etc.) undoubtedly has made navigating this whole mess more difficult.

That little image is a link within the picture link. Click outside of it and it will take you to the profile but click on the image with the + symbol, it will send a friend request to that user. I actually get prompted, asking if I want to send the friend request, then I say no and it goes away but, the friend request is for some new "unknown" future features that are supposed to come in handy** soon. Not sure what those features are going to be but stay tuned, lol. So far, we have turned them all down because we are not sure if it is going to be some social media thing like collecting friends on facebook/twitter/snapchat, etc. I'm personally not on SLS to collect friends so until I know why it is there, what it will provide, ignore is the rule of the day for us. ** At least that is what SLS is saying.

We often play with other couples in the afternoon, then go out to dinner or an event. We are more wide awake, generally not drunk, see everything happening.

We're definitely open to that! We've had spend the night situations where the next morning goodbye's led to things getting frisky again, and like you say, the stone cold sober sex was even better than the partying at night sex. We've also had afternoon delight sex playing solo with friends. That was pretty awesome too, just more relaxing and time to really focus on your swing partner with no distractions or timelines.

Update : HOLY SHIT what an amazing time all 3 of us had ! After having the tough conversations about my issues with both my wife and friend we had an amazing 3 some that last nearly 3 hours. We were all absolutely exhausted and drained by the end of it. We are already planning on bringing another female into bed with us 3 ! I am glad that I spoke up about the things that were bothering myself as everybody had concerns just as much as I did about different things. Thank you all !!!!!