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Sounds like your issues go way beyond simply swinging. Best to figure out if you two have a future before indulging in the lifestyle. The problem I am reading is that he doesn't understand the word no. Swinging is about the two of you, at all times. If he cannot respect how you feel, you probably already know that there is a serious problem in your relationship. Good luck!

Thank God (and Al Gore) for the internet...

This is Mr. Shy and no prude on sex but, we went to our local sex store a couple of weekends ago. This is one of brightly lit, middle of town, situated between a karate studio and the Sizzler. Not a seedy adult book store with DVD, peep show, arcade, etc. They put sex right out in the open but don't stray terribly far from the vanilla. We were met at the door by a young lady who offered a coupon and a brief description of promotions and pointed to the various sections in the store. Perfectly fine. We stroll the panties, lingerie, and pass by their high end/specialty vibrators. We are moving and talking and looking, then another clerk comes up and tries to engage in chit chat and ask what we like, what we are into. Well I freaked out on her a little. In situations like this we have always been left to shop, browse, giggle, and point. Wait for the section to clear out if anyone else was shopping there and so on. I told her as politely as possible that I was freaked out my a little by her not respecting our personal space and this was something we didn't need assistance with but if we changed our mind we would find her. For whatever reason made me, not wife, uncomfortable. Maybe I was too close to asking her for a cock cage and something to stick up my ass to milk my prostate? Maybe I should have turned the tables and said we wanted to see if we could pick up a salesclerk to fuck.

I am having a hard time understanding a club being open now. But money is money. I doubt many people would admit to going if they did end up with the virus. I suspect those more likely to go to a club now are less cautious in general and would consider it community acquired anyways. Maskless in an indoor naked community with heavy breathing is just a little too high risk for me. Mild, bad flu, or silent carrier I don’t want any of it.

I'm straight but never say never. I have always wondered why there is so much male homophobia in the LS. I've heard women say they wouldn't play with a couple with a bi curious male because she didn't want a guy checking out her man's butt. To each their own. I just find it odd in a group of people as open minded as people are in the LS that so many slam the door on male bisexuality.

"But in the past we've posted our profiles as bi/bi and don't get a lot of hits." I'll throw my two cents at this...If you asked us for a quick answer I'd say I'm bi and he is straight. However, he is quite curious to try oral on a man. Does that make him bi? Curious? "Open"? Who knows. I think we both like getting naked with another couple, two couples, etc and going with the flow. The issue you're likely running into is the weird stigma in the world that it is perfectly acceptable for a woman to be bi but abhorrent for a man to be. There seems to be a view that a bi male is less than a man, degraded masculinity. I don't understand it, but when one of our profiles on a swinger site noted bi-female/straight male we got a lot of attention. When we switched to "bi-curious" for him, 90% drop in contact. We tried "Open minded" and got a few more, but still much less than with "straight". As I mentioned, he is curious as he has never given oral to a man before. Will he like it? Will it be a one-and-done? Who knows. We definitely are in this lifestyle to explore things we cannot do as a couple - MFM, FMF, MFMFMFMFMFM (the more the merrier), bi oral, etc. Our approach is to talk about it with potential couples. Some men as aghast when asked about contact between the men. Really? We have four naked people on a bed, things will get touched intentionally and unintentionally. Stuff happens. Heck I remember our first experience with a couple. The guy was adamant that there would be no contact between the guys. Well, Mr was reaching for the other woman's breasts at the same time her husband was coming to straddle her face. Mr got a handful of cock. Without missing a beat, Mr stroked it a couple times and guided it into her mouth. The night continued. The guy didn't jump off the bed and make a scene. Stuff happens, roll with it. We've seen the opposite as well...where the night ended because of something unintentional. Just talk about things before moving forward. Many profiles will spell out the male side in the narrative (e.g. no contact between the males!). Some will have their interests cleverly disguised, the inform those who may have a bi/curious male but who don't want to scare away couples by explicitly posting "BI"

We would not go to a swing club unless we were vaccinated, there is a treatment that makes it like a mild cold or, like a miracle, the disease disappeared. You only get one mistake.

We have been optimistic with couples before we met. But upon meeting, one or both had a disappointing personality or looked nothing like their pictures. So that is why we don’t play on the first date. It also adds to the anticipation of the second date.

F2C female condoms are fantastic! To the guy they feel like he is bareback. The woman does not develop sore spots in her vagina from the condom rubbing her raw during a long session or multiple guys. They are available in packs of 12 from Amazon. First, it is best if some lubricant is put into the condom. The condom has a rubber ring at the bottom and a larger rubber ring at the top, or open end. The gal or guy can insert the female condom into the gal's vagina with fingers or his penis. The rubber ring on the bottom end helps hold the condom deep in the gal's vagina. The rubber ring at the top or open end keeps that end of the condom from slipping into the vagina. After a few minutes the inside of the condom gets to the same warmth as the vagina. When the guy slides his hard penis it feels just like sliding it into a warm, slippery vagina, bareback. It works with guys who have small penises and the gal does not have to worry about the condom sliding off his penis and him cumming into her vagina. It works with guys who have large penises because it is large enough to easily fit a penis with an 7 inch circumference. My swing buddy became a size queen and we used to seek guys who were 8X6 and larger. She was allergic to birth control pills so we depended on condoms. After some scary situations with broken condoms, we found out about the F2C condoms. She loved the protection they provided against breaking and against sore spots in her vagina during long sex sessions. She also loved how the guys with large penises could pound her for long time and she would not get sore.;

That there is some good ad-vice. Before the world stopped turning...... We have pretty much made up our minds with emails, texts, chats or whatever, by the time we meet for drinks or dinner. We lay out our likes and dislikes before meeting. Barring Frankenstein and his bride walking in we are usually ready to go. But we do have an expectation to have sex. Sorry but that is why we are here. Would we ever go out with a hard no couple? Yes, if we though that we would have something in common. Sometimes a night out is fun too. Would we ever do two date nights? No. Again if we made some new friends, great! But if its not FWB then thanks, we had a great time when we went out last month, week or whenever, but we are just not feeling it. It has never got to that point because we tell people up front why we are on a swinging site. I guess there are a couple of exceptions 1. we attend a monthly meet an greet so in a way we talk to a lot of the people every month and dont necessarily play with all of them. God I miss the meet and greets! 2. New people or people just wanting to see if its for them. So we would hang out with them a couple of times. This is a hobby for the 2 of us. Some couples like to golf or play tennis. We like to fuck other people. And there are only so many weekends in a month and only so many dollars to spend on our hobby. Lets face it swinging isn't a cheap hobby. House parties, cruises and clubs were brought up. For us that is a whole 'nother ball game. I dont do cruises but clubs and house parties are our time to party. We like going to a club, we have a few drinks a lot of mind blowing sex, Uber back to the hotel and have more sex. We meet people at a club for one thing-s.e.x. pretty much just a physical attraction to the other couple or single person and we are ready to go. This may sound terrible but we are looking for sex and maybe friendship. We are not looking for friends and maybe sex. I mean come on we met on a swingers website. But as I said its never reached that point as we are crystal clear before we ever meet as we always ask straight up before we ever meet do you play on the 1st date? Given the choice of play or no play and everything else being similar, we would go with the "play" couple.

And for a lot of women, a dream.

Maybe I missed it but why is this guy still your "fiancé"? He is obviously doing whatever he wants, and his actions are quite shady. I don't understand why you'd stay around. You're too young to to hook your wagon to someone who doesn't care what you have to say.

Yeah of course, it is part of the experience!

I actually don't mind the initial greeting or a clerk coming around a second time asking if she can help. Sometimes I know what I'm looking for and it's helpful for the clerk to point out where it is or offer the pros and cons of different products. I've gotten the really curious or a bit too helpful clerk who stood alongside or asked too many questions. Usually saying something like "I'm going to take my time and browse" or "I'll come find you if I need help" would shoo them away. I have never had that creepy feeling but I certainly get it if the OP felt that way.

I have been to some higher end shops were the clerks were helpful. I did go to one more mid range shop and had two female clerks being way too friendly, kinda in my face, should I ask if they want to come home with me. It was a little weird and intense, hard to explain. In Toronto there's a really nie high end store that had all sorts of cool stuff. The lady there was super helpful and friendly. Place was called 'Good for Her', I bought so much stuff I couldn't fit it on my motorcycle.

That's unusual in our experience. Usually, they are friendly enough in the "good" shops, and more than willing to assist when asked. We haven't received the used car salesman treatment before, so not sure how we'd handle it. I don't think it would freak us out, but it would surprise us I suppose. Knowing us, we'd probably go with the flow and put their ass to work finding us the perfect item. But that's us. Every person has their own comfort level and the clerk should realize that.

I guess if she swallowed. But she is not a cum fan either. She lets me rip in her mouth, but then hits the bathroom for a quick rinse. She wouldn’t let another guy come in her mouth. I will not come in a woman’s mouth unless she explicitly told me I can. What can I say, we are not cum fans. And we don’t have any pets.