Experienced MFM husband here. We always begin with a new guy at a bar, coffee shop or other vanilla place. The three of us talk about normal things, weather, sports, movies, stuff like that. That gives us a chance for all three of us to become comfortable with each other. Then when we get to a private spot such as our home, we're all ready for it to get going.
When they're having those first passionate moments, I'll take pictures (I always get his permission beforehand.) That does a couple of things. It takes my mind a little bit off what's going on, as I'm concentrating on photo angles and such. It gives us a souvenir of the night.