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https://www.cnn.com/travel/article/hedonism-ii-lifestyle-resort-reopens-pandemic-jamaica/index.html Interesting and balanced piece.

Your husband is considerate and loving, as a man should be. He's a keeper. When David said it was OK for me to keep my boyfriend and he wanted to marry me, I was happy and astounded. You were considerate and loving by letting you husband lay you after all that fucking. It's my philosophy as well, I never deny my husband's overtures.

My husband and I have not had any other partners in our life before. We have been married 27 years and have talking about giving this a try for some time now. We decided it was time and we are headed to Hedo in August. We are real excited and nervous at the same time. Don't know if we will find anyone to swap or not. So, is it hard to see your partner with another person for the first time? Also, how do you know if the couple/person is into swinging and how do you go about asking if they are interested? Sorry for so many questions.

I found this site quite recently. Glad that I did. It makes me happy to know there's others out there who live this kind of life. But as the title says, I have a little concern if anyone is willing to help out. As I write this, my wife and I have been together for a total of ten years. We have two kids. Years ago I gave my wife the OK that she could have sex with another guy as long as she was open and honest about it with me. She's a romantic. She didn't want flings or one night stands but an actual relationship. Enter my wife's friend Pauline and her husband August. They too have two kids of their own. Turns out Pauline and August had tried their hand at swinging but found out it wasn't for them. There was an attraction between August and Angel that Pauline and me noticed and encouraged. We made it clear to them we did not mind and were OK with it. They became a 'faithful couple'. Aside from me and Pauline, they have no other partners. We also didn't have threesomes. Sometimes Angel would spend the night at Pauline and August's and sometimes August would spend the night at our place. Pauline and me also grew close. We have sex with each other but we are not as romantically attached as compared to our respective spouses. They were 'together' for two years when we made the decision to cohabit in one house. We became a household with four parents and four kids. The four kids get along fine and we the adults come off as really good uncles and aunts. And yes they have been taught that Angel and August's relationship is different from the rest. Angel and August though act as much like husband and wife as we do. Months ago Angel and August told us it was time they have a baby. They wanted a fruit of their love and even said they wanted three. Pauline and me were both happy to know they've come to that decision. The former more so than I ever thought possible. Pauline really loved the idea of my wife getting pregnant with her husband's child and joined them in the first of many threesomes to assist in the impregnation. Pauline didn't fuck August but she would suck him hard. But she surprised everyone when she kissed and licked Angel's pussy to get her wet. (Neither she nor my wife have ever hinted at being bi and beyond that, nothing sexual has happened between them.) Pauline would further help by guiding August's cock inside Angel's wet pussy. She would then talk dirty to them and urge August on to cum and knock up Angel. My wife soon started feeling nauseous and vomiting. Pauline and me brought her three home pregnancy tests but it was a doctor's appointment with August that confirmed she was carrying August's baby. I don't know just how to explain the feeling but there's is just something wonderful seeing my wife's belly grow with another man's child. My wife is now 33 weeks pregnant with hers and August's third child. Our kids know who is the father of the unborn. They know they're only half-siblings but they're excited and simply love running their little hands over Angel's growing belly. Now here lies my current conundrum. A friend of ours actually brought it up as a joke and we feel stupid to have not considered this at all. So pardon me for having to ask this and if this comes off as a stupid question. Whose last name do we give the baby and who signs the birth certificate as the father, me or August? I mean I am most willing to give the baby my name and write my name on the certificate. But so is August. I actually think August should be it.

We did an LS cruise last summer that was like being in a 5 star hotel. Alas cruising needs to wait a bit, as do most social activities.

Desire is the "best" but it is not a 5-star hotel. If you find a 5-star lifestyle place please tell us - we are spoiled too! We are waiting for this storm to pass before heading back as well.

So this is your first post, who is the “we” and who is the “her”? Does the “her” want this or is it your fantasy?

We are a bit spoiled and used to the finer things in life. You would not be roughing it at either of the Desire resorts. We stay at top notch places worldwide. The facilities at Desire are very nice. But do note that the crowd at DRM is younger than Pearl. We have stayed at both. And get an erotic couples massage.

I thought this was an excellent piece of journalism and quite unlike most of what I see. Usually it’s kind of “walk on the wild side” approach and often with a slightly “looking down the nose at these pervs” tone. “I was surprised at how otherwise normal these (freaks) seemed otherwise. What I really appreciated about this piece is that it was written from the implicit perspective that the fairly wide range of behaviors that go on at this resort are well within the normal span of human activities. And the really interesting thing is how in the current pandemic are the folks who operate these resorts able to ensure a reasonable degree of safety for customers and staff.

If you want upscale, you should consider Desire. Other than at select times, the two Desire resorts are couples only. Hedo allows singles and locals (which is fine) but it has more of a frat party/ spring break vibe. Desire is sexy and sensual and not quite so 'on the nose'. Not all who attend are lifestylers. Some are nudists, some are vanilla looking for a thrill, and some are there as exhibitionists/ voyeurs. All seem to coexist just fine as long as you are respectful of each other. There is zero pressure - to get nude, to play, etc. The staff is great. The playmakers (activity instigators) are also fantastic. The general consensus is RM is younger and bigger party but that can depend upon the crowd that particular week. We have friends that like one or the other or both. Frankly, it's hard to go wrong with either. Often, there are takeovers (full or partial) where podcasters or swinger sites host a week for their people. As far as play goes, many folks go to their rooms. Beach beds are nice as well.

"Sorry, not tonight, I have a headache."

It is the thing that turns me on the most. When we swapped with a couple for the first time, we were both apprehensive about watching each other. She was afraid of what I would think. She went to the bedroom with him alone and I sat with his wife. I could hear my wife moaning and fucking. I did want to watch but out of respect for her I gave her privacy to do it. When she emerged from the bedroom she had a big pretty smile and was proud to show me that she had accepted his sperm. After this we all went to the bedroom and she was sweet on me and encouraged me to fuck my lover and cum in her. After that we had no hesitations to fuck in front of each other. We learned something about me, how turned on I become watching her being penetrated and a lover filling her with cum. She knows this is my favorite part of the lifestyle. I am a little embarrassed to admit that she treats me on occasion by inviting a lover to our bed. I hide and watch secretly in the closet. She positions herself for my advantage at first. I have many wonderful visions of her pretty hand guiding a strange man's cock into her pussy and then making love without hesitations.

Couples I have helped have taken this approach. I'm grateful the first couple had done their homework and explained how this all worked.

Probably doesn’t know because they just joined today and this is their first post. Seems odd to post a story like this as your first post, IMO.

Initially I think I'm dreaming, but in reality it's my wife pulling on my dick, her signal that it's time to get busy. I sleep well afterwards.

Watching each other having sex with others is a big turn on for us, in my case I like to "perform for him". The first time I saw him having sex with someone else was not hard at all I actually remember felling very thrilled by the hole experience.

From what I know of men, even vanilla sexually conservative guys wouldn't have a problem with their wife or girlfriend having a sexual relationship with a woman. Unless a guy has really low self-esteem, he doesn't feel threatened. It's great how you guys went from having some problems the first time to actually encouraging each other to have some fun when you two are apart.

I know he had a problem the first time he saw me with a guy, he told me. Not so when he saw me with my girlfriend. I was the one who suggested him playing with my girlfriend and sure was nervous and then excited. He was more nervous than me. All in all we are both glad we got by those first times.

Agree about complicated, there’s a lot going on there. My take is that she has 2 boyfriends that don’t like each other. I’d guess that doesn’t go over any better in the swinger world than it would in the vanilla world.

Sounds complicated. A lot to manage.

Not hard at all but a lot of fun! My GF and I have a good sex life but it's fairly normal. Neither of us were ever very adventurous actually. She would never do anal, swallow cum, let me cum on her face, etc. but that all changed when she started fucking other guys. She discovered that she really enjoys men taking control and doing what they want to her. Personally I am not into the rough stuff like choking, slapping, spitting, facefucking, hair pulling, verbal degradation etc. but it turns out my GF really enjoys it. And while I am uncomfortable inflicting that kind of pain on my GF when we have sex it is actually very hot to see other men do it to her. Do I enjoy slapping my GF across the face, call her a whore, and then shoving my dick down her throat forcing her to gag all over it? No. But do I enjoy watching my friend do it to her? Yes. And believe it or not she loves it too.

I'm curious if folks with more experience or knowledge of Polyamory have a opinion. Too elaborate; does anyone feel poly relationships/family groups will become more common, and openly known in the next 2-3 decades. I've had knowledge of two such relationships in the past couple decades, and read about others. Is it going to remain a thing involving a relatively small stable portion of the North American or European population. Or is it growing as a practice, with increasing numbers in informal & formal poly relationships?

"Is it hard to see your partner with someone else?" Yes! It was hard, so hard that it took me two years for me to let my husband have sex with another woman, even though he let me have a boyfriend. When it happened I was crazy with jealousy - and wanted him to do it again with her and other women. I was hooked, craved the feeling that seeing him pleased by another woman brought, and wanted him more than ever. Even now after ten years, it is a rush watching him with the two other women in our poly family.

When I met the person who became my wife, I knew she was sexually active with other men. It didn't bother me, and when we got married we became monogamous almost by default. Fast forward twenty years. We started talking about it, started thinking. We talked, fantasized. For three years! So by the time we finally did it, I was used to the thought so the actual deed wasn't a big deal. It was exciting, yes, and when a few months later we got into MFMs, I loved it. But it was never 'hard' for me to see her with someone else, and it wasn't hard for her to let me have a good time.

Despite a lot of conversation before hand, you won't know how you will react until it actually occurs. Our first time the guy had amazing staying power … as I watched, I began to think he would never cum. I could tell though that my wife was enjoying all the action and was really into it. It was so hot and I felt no jealousy at all. She confirmed later as we talked she had never been with any guy who was so "in control".

Personally it only makes me hard seeing her with other men and women! Although I have seen her with more women then men, because that is her main preference. It has been a turn on for me since day one of entering the lifestyle. To me Ms Enhancer is the hottest woman in the world and to see other people appreciate her only makes that feeling stronger! I know she loves me and will always be coming home with me. We do not doubt each other at all and would not be in this lifestyle if we did. That would be asking for trouble.

Note that I'm a male and my perspective is probably completely different. When Mrs. EastInWest and I met, we were friends first, then started meeting for coffee/drinks frequently. We got close, learned more about each other's personal lives, and eventually things got romantic and emotional. However, we didn't know if it could ever be serious, so we didn't stress exclusivity, we just thought one of us would move on eventually. It's a long story, but after we'd been carrying on like this for over a year, we had our one "experiment" where she ended up topless in the back of the car giving head while I gave the guy and his friend a lift to their hotel. It wasn't planned, but she'd had a few drinks and I'm a bad influence. It wasn't hard to see. It was, however, insanely intense. I don't think there could possibly be a drug that would do the same thing. At first we both struggled to give them a little privacy, but that didn't work. I was frustrated at how few stop lights I was getting until I finally just pulled over to join his friend in enjoying the show. He was working her with his hand and she was moaning heavily, constantly on the edge of climaxing, made prolonged eye contact with me a few times (wondering if I was OK, she said later) and I could have cum right there in the driver's seat looking at the way she was looking at me. The feelings were mixed and confusing but none of them were bad. I did have a brief impulse to stop the action when I realized he was going to cum, but I didn't actually want to. It was just a passing, instinctive thought, competing with the urge to masturbate (which I also didn't actually want to do, knowing I'd waste the arousal). I was as hard as I could ever remember being and what I wanted was to see her finish her good work and get her home to the hotel to take her roughly and unload inside her. When he finished, there was a lot of cum. I watched and listened while she gulped twice, but she didn't get it all. I saw her lift her head up, breasts in his lap, and a lot of it ran over her lips and down his shaft. She was on her own high, too, and just stared at the wet cock in her hand, breathing hard. It was completely obscene and very enjoyable to me. She told me later she was just in shock that she had even done it and didn't know what to do or say. A bunch of other stuff happened, but I don't want to turn this into a short story. The point is, none of this ever felt negative for either of us. I took her back to our room, she was in a daze, we went at it in the shower then finished in bed, she came very hard repeatedly, then we passed out, slept through our alarms. We ate breakfast like that hadn't happened, then finally we're drinking coffee and she says, kind of nervously, "I really had fun last night." We talked about it for a while, got her over her worries about what I might be thinking, and she expressed some shock that she didn't feel guilty or grossed out about what she did at all. We didn't talk about that again for years, until we started talking about the idea of actively getting into swinging a couple years ago. I think what made it so harmless (where it could have been an emotional disaster) is that we were on exactly the same page: I was already relatively adventurous, she wanted to be more adventurous, I was supportive of that and wasn't interested in holding her back at all from enjoying everything. She knew it and I OKed (and instigated) things as they went along, we communicated that we were OK and it was good to go ahead, so there was never much room for me to feel like my boundaries weren't being respected and get offended. I don't know if that helps. When I start describing that story it's hard not to be excessively detailed because it was a crazily vivid experience.

Hi SexyTnCouple. Congrats to you for 27 years, and for deciding to check out Hedo! Continue to be excited, but don't be nervous. I hope that you will find as we did that Hedo is a very special place. The staff there is second to none, and the folks who go there are awesome. We have met so many great people from all over and all walks of life. Almost everyone follows the "Respect" and "No means No" rules, and there is no pressure to do anything you don't want to. There are usually many opportunities to watch or be watched, or soft swap, or full swap, whatever you want. Just go, get naked, go to the nude bar, order a drink, say hello to the person next to you, and you will have a new friend and after a few minutes you will not even realize you are both naked. As far as finding out about people, just ask them if they are in the lifestyle or what they are into. Nobody at Hedo will be offended. I am confident you will have the best vacation of your lives. Good luck!

Seeing your partner having sex with someone else can be hard to watch if it was unplanned.

OK, a couple of issues here... 1) Trust. Either you trust your wife, and therefore believe that she did not know if he came in her or not, or you don't. If you don't, I think you need to stop swinging until you reestablish the trust. 2) Biology... there is semen flowing from a man's erect penis long before he ejaculates. Therefore, by allowing a man to place his unprotected erect penis in your wife, you are allowing him to put his semen in her. This is a reason the "pull out" method of birth control doesn't work. Allowing a man to fuck your wife unprotected but requiring that he pull out before ejaculation is a little absurd, IMO. I think you need to serious reevaluate your rules here. If you don't want him to cum in your wife, make him wear a condom. If you don't want him to ware a condom, accept that he has cum in your wife.

Size is so not everything. And sex is not making love. So there are two things. She may enjoy him a lot and she may even develop "new toy syndrome" where she wants more of him and it may make you feel "less than" but it's important to understand that that doesn't mean she enjoys him more, wants him more or even loves him. He's just different. You are still the one she loves.

Questions like this are normal for somebody just beginning to think about swinging. I think some of these posts were too harsh and condescending. People come here to learn things and alleviate their petty fears or insecurities. Most of us had them at some point. tamyou, Likeminds gave good advice. I would suggest you keep reading the threads before you go to your wife. You will find out in time if you can get over your concerns. This should be about sexual pleasure as a couple, for you AND your wife. So if a bigger dick does that then you should be glad for her. Do you want to do this and have her not have a great time? Good luck and don't be afraid to ask questions, any question. BTW-welcome to the SB.