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I know it's hard when something like this gets sprung on you, but she shouldn't worry or feel that way about herself. adamgunn's outlook on it is pretty much ours. Relative to other STIs it's common even though most don't even know they "have" it, it's not typically included in a STI screen so people who say "I've been tested and I'm clean" may or may not be when it comes to herpes, the whole HSV-1 and HSV-2 confusion, and so on. I distinctly remember battling some herpes sores...I was like 9, and the more commonly used, and less scary, terminology there would be "cold sores" but really HSV-1. I don't feel the need to disclose that to anyone, even though if I was tested for it, I'm assuming it would be a positive. If I had a cold sore on my mouth, I wouldn't be playing with anyone, and if I had a sore on my genitals, I wouldn't be playing with anyone. Beyond that, I think that is really all you can ask of people since for the vast majority, the truth is they honestly don't know one way or another. Other than doing some pre-play visual inspection to make sure no outbreak is going on, there's just really not a lot you can do. Condoms do offer some protection, but it's not complete. So, it's just one of those things where just about activity in life carries some risk, and you just have to decide for yourself where your risk tolerance line is at. Starting to veer away from fact toward more opinion here, but I think the whole herpes thing is waaaaaay overblown, and just another example of sex-shaming by a culture that has a love-hate relationship with all things sexual, especially when there is money to be made off of it. A lot of things that we think are freak-out worthy, we have been taught we should be freaked out about, well beyond the level of what it really deserves. You may find this article interesting reading. How Herpes Became a Sexual Boogeyman There are also several good older in-depth discussions on this topic here on the site. Threads discussing Herpes Sending best wishes that this all will soon be just a bad memory.

Last night went to a bar and meet some friends after a while we went back to their place to hang out. One thing lead to another next thing I know my buddy's wife was sucking on my cock. I looked over to find my wife doing the same to my buddy. Long story short I was pumping her leg on my shoulders and I saw she still had her heels on. Don’t know what it was but was a huge turn on so much so I blasted cum so deep in her she started to squirt. Was the best night of our lives and this morning they texted if we could go at it again sometime

Great advice here. Another thought: perhaps your wife's distancing herself from this has a two-part interpretation. One, she is ok with the idea; and two, she wants to absolve herself from any guilt. All wrapped up in one continuing attitude.

I think your opinion is spot on!

I think that HSV and HPV are commonly transmitted, even with condoms. HPV does have a vaccine intended for younger people. Both viruses are so common in the populace that one must presume that they are spread in swinging. A well known risk, not much discussed.

Tell your sweetie not to worry. I'm sure I've played with many a person who's had it. A few have told me they had it before we played, I appreciated it and when they added that they were not having a breakout. I took my chances with them. I imagine I've played with some who didn't disclose it, although they knew they had it and just ignored it, and probably a few who didn't know they have it. Just watch out for breakouts, and don't play during those times.

It's probably a good idea in light of Coronavirus, but I'd hate to have the job of trying to enforce it.

I'll throw my two cents in here. I'm certain to get a lot of angry responses here from people on the opposite side of the discussion. If you want to ensure that you don't have Covid you have to get tested. Given the incubation period from infection to a positive test, you should get tested twice, a few days apart...e.g. get tested on Monday, hunker down until Friday and get tested again. Make sure you get tested at a location where they use the more reliable test. There are some tests that has a false negative rate of nearly 30%. Other tests have an accuracy rate of 97%. This isn't a guarantee that you don't have it since, in theory, you could have picked it up after the first test and not show when you test on Friday. If you want to swing, you should have the other couple do the same thing. With that said, I would recommend looking at what demographic you fall into. The fear baked into the virus is unbelievable. Yes, the virus is easily transmitted. No, the virus is not some sort of super virus that kills at some unprecedented rate. The statistics don't support the fear rhetoric. Locking down the whole economy has destroyed businesses, caused health issues we'll learn about in a year or two (delayed diagnostic tests, delayed starting of treatment, delayed surgeries, etc), run up debts at the city, county, state and federal level that will be felt for decades by taxpayers, set student education back, etc. Go talk to people who are in the medical billing field, especially those who deal with Medicare billing, and you'll learn some eye-opening things. I used to be in that line of work and have spoken with nearly a dozen former colleagues who remain. Do your own analysis as to where you fall in the stats and make your own decision. I read some responses where people aren't swinging because of Covid and others looking for stay within their circle of friends. To each their own.

I don't know why, but it never occurred to me that there would be a website and list of Gloryholes across the world. 50 years ago they sent the first communication over the 'internet', I wonder if they ever thought, hey we could list gloryholes as a public service as well.

Another list https://gloryholelist.com/ A lot in PA. I would check ahead to make sure they are "couple friendly". Some don't allow couples in the booths.

They were probably European royalty. Nothing unusual for them.

Mrs Doc has a friend in her 50's back home in Pa who left a long term and bad marriage. She eventually gravitated to her half brother for advice and comfort which led to lots of intimacy and finally a sexual relationship. They may visit during the holidays and yes, Mrs Doc told her friend that we were swingers. She was intrigued. When my wife initially told me about her friend, there was a "yuk" factor for me until I thought it through. I concluded that since neither are children and they are past the procreation stage, why should I care or judge? The "yuk" factor is that I immediately thought of MY sister when I was told of this. She weighs well over 200 lbs and I NEVER want to see her naked!