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As described above, there are lot's of ways to explore this lifestyle. But, his question is about their first experience. My advice is to keep it simple. If you bring in a single male for a threesome - there is less pressure on you to perform. Ideally, you and your wife have a good experience to build upon. If not MFM, maybe a soft swap with an experienced couple who is patient and willing to go at your pace. Get a couple good experiences under your belt and go from there. One thing, rarely talked about is that the first swinging experience can be pretty overwhelming. There is so much sexy input - your brain can go 'tilt' and your erection may go on vacation. Get yourself acclimated to being naked with others and seeing your spouse have sex with someone else, without the need to perform. Once you are comfortable - sky is the limit.

Personally I like the club membership with group party situation. Couples, singles, men, women, trans persons, straight, bisexual; variety is the spice of life and a great way to expand one's horizons.

I will try to express my thoughts when I am playing. Part of our excitement is Michael watching me with a new partner which has led me to enjoy the whole process of my time enjoying the finding a willing man to go back to a room with us. This is all pre-pandemic. It doesn't always go to plan, I enjoy a man who lets me please him. From undressing him and seeing his dick for the first time, I want him to relax. Michael says I get very intense when I first see a dick. Does size matter? Not really except when I notice it’s big. After the initial contact I want the man to feel I am the best he has ever had. I sense what he likes and makes him groan or moan. Every man reacts differently, some are happy to be pleased some want to reciprocate. I will normally concentrate on pleasing more than being pleased. I vary sucking with licking. Some like more licking and everyone loves a deep blowjob. My main thought is pleasing him.

Most likely the same thing guys think about when giving a woman oral.

I Make love when we meet I Love what he does when we are together I Love what we do together I Love the anticipation of meeting I Love pleasing and being pleased I Love the snuggling, kissing and playing. BUT I ONLY LOVE MY HUSBAND!!!!

A topic that fascinates me, and makes me a bit envious, are posts about how someone met their spouse while in a swinging situation. It is the opposite of the usual story where a vanilla couple makes a decision to engage in non-monogamy after they are a couple. It intrigues me because the sex is there with other people before there is the spark which leads to love. I don't know why, but when I read these stories I find them very romantic, almost to the point of crying. Anyone have a story to share? Thanks.

No, this isn't a bashing thread about them... Our first experience into the Lifestyle was with a single male. Loved our experience, so much so, we played with him on numerous occasions. That experience was over 7 years ago, and he left the Lifestyle and got married. Now we are having a hard time finding dependable guys. As I (the female) have gotten older, I've noticed that I tend to attract younger guys... ages ranging from 22 to early 30's. But my question is, why do younger guys like older women? I have gotten over the weirded out factor, we have a son that is 19 and he has to tell his friends to quit checking out his mom

I heard there were Yankee pitchers that swapped wives.

Certainly not for everyone, but we started with my wife becoming reacquainted with an ex who she told me she really enjoyed as a sex partner. (Talking about our previous sex partners was part of our love life that turned us both on.) She met up with him, later we three went to dinner, the third time they met up for sex and he knew that it was with my encouragement and approval. It was comfortable for them because they had been lovers in the past and knew it would be good. It was comfortable for me because they were exes, no new ground being plowed, so to speak. Consider it. BTW, sex for us was unbelievably intense afterwards for at least a week.

We've been in a lot more foursomes than threesomes, and our threesomes are mostly really better described as a foursome with one taking a break. But, do have some experience there. We've seen it both ways where all three are equally and actively involved, and also where it's mainly two with the third sort of just in an auxiliary role. It's usually been more like the second example. With a foursome, there are different ways of doing it, same room, separate room, two sets of one on one, all four involved in more of an orgy, and all shades of gray in between. We've experienced all of those, and I don't know that one really felt any more or less "apart" than any other way. When we were new, we leaned more toward separate rooms. That's the opposite of most folks, but it's all about what you think will work best for you as a couple, and there's no right or wrong answers. Your concern about the "taken from" feeling kind of makes me think that maybe separate room wouldn't be the best choice for you starting out. Rather, same room with two sets of one on one would still give you some visual connection and also feel a little more comfortable since you are still in each others presence. Then once you've got a little experience under your belt and are more comfortable that swinging can be something you are experiencing together even if physically not in the same room together, then if the separate rooms things is something you want to try, could always give it a shot then. May like it, may not, it's all good, everyone has their own swinging style. Honestly, our best swinging experiences were freeform and covered everything above in one evening as two couples just flowed from one thing to another depending on what each person's mood was at the time. Orgy foursome to threesome to one on one in separate rooms to threesome to foursome one on one all on same bed and so on. That takes couples who are familiar with each other, so probably not going to get one of those freeflowing marathon sessions right at the start with a couple, but it's definitely possible once you have spent some time together and everything has gelled. Whatever you decide, wishing you the best of luck! We're happy to have you here with us as members, and hope you'll stick around as a permanent part of the community.

Gator, swinging is what you make of it; any particular encounter can be what the three or four or more of you want. I see your point about the threesome. I've been in many an MFM with my wife. But in any configuration, there are moments where two people are enjoying each other and the third is only mildly involved, or simply watching. I have fun watching my wife with other men, but I wouldn't call it 'personal.' In foursomes, again, it's what you choose it to be. Most of the time, yeah, it's usually two sets of one-on-one, but there are times when all four are together. Now that I haven't really answered your question . . .

Same here. For us it recreational sex. As long as everyone is good there isn't much we won't try. We aren't really into anal Mrs ID doesn't care for it, but I will do it if asked. It's just not my 1st choice.

When Laura and I were swinging, our "play-dates" were all about fun. We laughed, joked, and giggled. Laura was particularly adept at making the most audacious remarks, putting us all into hysterics. It wasn't an atmosphere that fostered something serious like love. Once, while doing a well-endowed fellow, she said, "Ohmigawd, Darling! I've felt cocks in my throat before, but never from this direction!"

I like most of the women with whom I have had swinging activity. But I am in love with my wife and have not even remotely approached that status with a playmate. Totally a recreational activity for me.

Personally we believe love is a good thing. How can more love be a bad thing? Most of our play these days is with one single male. He and my wife sometimes date 1 on 1 and have even spent a couple weekends away together. Is there love there? Yes of course. But a woman's heart has room for more love. I don't worry about it ruining our marriage because nobody is making her choose.

I think it’s expansive to accept there are many sexual preferences, many of which are not appealing to us, that are valid and should not be scorned or criticized. Down the road, some of them could become of interest. Or not. We had a nice discussion with a couple on a cruise who were into BDSM. We’re not really interested in it, but they told us what a night out is like for them, we told them what a night out is like for us and we all learned new things. Open mindedness to new ideas is a good thing. You don’t have to do it, like it or watch it, but it’s nice to be supportive of other people’s interests and not make them feel weird or aberrant. I don’t think you’re a hypocrite. You are entitled to your preferences. Not a problem at all.

Main stream swinging is an oxymoron. Swinging is not main stream. Within swinging there are diverse interests. Bisexuality by both genders, BDSM, hot wifing, vixen/stag, dom/sub. Many of these sub interests are currently of no interest to me, but if I am open minded enough to participate in the lifestyle, I owe it to participants in these subgroups to be tolerant and supportive of their interests and not denigrate them.

But it even goes beyond that, these are people who are having sex, watching each other have sex not with each other, at least at first. One would think that watching someone having sex with others, not you, would dampen the spark of love. These are people who see each other having sex with other people and think, "I really like him/her." In my mind such a situation puts sex in its proper perspective in an incipient romantic relationship. As a woman it would make me feel valued for all the reasons other than my body, and respect my autonomy. (That's the way I felt anyway, when hubby was monogamous while letting me keep my ex-fiancé as a sexual and romantic partner when we started down this road.)

Was your mother a humongous beast that went around screwing everybody in the neighborhood? Did your stepfather take out his anger towards her on you? There’s a reason why you keep repeating the same shit over and over and over and over. It’s time for me to use the ignore feature, you’re just really starting to become boring.

Fully agree. I get off on my wife's pleasure during an MFM. Very intense when I get her alone afterwards

My wife started asking me if I would be alright with an MFM a about a year ago, we talk about it during foreplay and sex. But I would never consider an MFM as gay in anyway. I’m fine with my wife’s request and look forward to the future when we can make it happen. For me it’s about showing her and her skill set off, to her it’s about showing off as well. We’ve talked about and made up some ground rules already, some in loser on then her but..do t worry about what people think or say, this is about you 2 having an experience that’s it! Gay doesn’t play into it unless it was openly discussed prior.

In a study conducted by a conservative Christian polling firm, Barna, Evangelicals have the highest divorce rate; Lutherans, atheists and lesbians the lowest. (Didn't mention "nudists, sluts and perverts," sorry.) It seems that if you want to stay together, it's best to not have any rules except love your spouse as you would yourself.

We find that very few couples can understand our lifestyle choices so we choose to keep things private. We are known as nudists, sluts and perverts among some of our friends so we choose to not try to explain. We are also the only ones with a solid marriage and are always together having fun.

My friends do not know. Pretty much for two reasons. 1. I don't want to explain it. I am 100% straight. I don't want all the questions about why I'd want another man to have sex with my wife. It's a desire I cannot explain 2. I like to keep that world away from my vanilla world and I don't really want my friends looking to sleep with her.

It was Hayleys birthday last week. Tom decided to find her a man, a male escort, black, best of the best as he could find. Have copy&pasted the message from the male escort private blog:

Older women tend to be more experienced and more comfortable with their sexuality than younger women. As a twenty-something guy I met plenty of women my age that were boring in bed. And a lot of young women act like sorority girls even when they aren't anymore. That got tiresome.

Why do younger men appreciate older women? "Because they don't swell, they don't tell, and they appreciate it like Hell." —Somebody

I've always gone for much older men, even since i was 15 I fancied men who were in their 30's and some 40's while all my friends thought of it as something so horrible. When I was 15-17 I was sleeping with men in their 20's and early 30's. We mostly swing with single males aged 30-45 but have seen ages 25-60. I suppose when I'm 40 (27 now) I will then start seeing men in their early 20's.

I'm a lucky girl, I guess. With two horny "partners" at my command (or I at theirs) it's more than once a day! Hubby and I have a session every morning or evening pretty much without fail, while Red and I usually have sex three times during the week and once or twice on the weekend. Saturday mornings are the best. Hubby likes to sleep in while I'm an early riser. So I get my coffee and have time for a "complete session" with Red, intercourse and oral for both of us with an opportunity for lots of dirty talking. I come easily, and when I'm leaving around 11am I feel "orgasmed out" after climaxing a couple of times. But on the 15 minute drive home thinking about hubby and how he's going to want me (and how [i still can't believe it] I just had sex with another man), I'm ready to go again more than ever by the time I'm pulling into the garage. Although they weren't particularly bad, what did slow me down were my periods. Red won't have sex during my period other than me giving him oral, while it doesn't slow David down at all. I started on Seasonale birth control about 18 months ago, taking them to have only two periods a year. Less mess.

Anal is reserved for just me and DH