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When my swing buddy and I had small swing parties, she treated the other women like good friends with whom she shared things. The women came to the party knowing that their guys were going to fuck my gal and that I was going to fuck them. Sometimes the other gal(s) would kiss, feel up, and go down on my gal while the guys watched or felt up both of them. When, early on, we went to other's somewhat large swing parties, we usually sat around chatting before things got started. Sometimes they never really got started except for a few folks. When we started hosting the small swing parties, my gal made the rule that once we all got into the hotel room where the party was, everyone had to get nude. Each gal took her share of the guys to one of the beds. The first thing for the guys was to give the women at least one orgasm via foreplay and oral. After that the guys were to do whatever the gals wanted. That way the parties quickly got started; everyone participated; the gals got their orgasms; and everyone went home well sated.

My husband and I are interested in swinging parties and I am curious how the wife deals with the other woman?

My husband and I have been talking about finding a woman to join us but we don't know where it how to find this person. Any advice would be very appreciated.

The one thing we explicitly keep to ourselves is unprotected intercourse. Over time we've figured out that we don't have many hangups about using the rest of our bodies, but shooting inside her is between us.

For what it's worth, our first attempts were "same-room" swap, first soft, then full swap. I don't think that in either case we felt like it was impersonal, but it was also far from an "orgy" situation, and we knew the other couple reasonably well. When we've done one-off MFM, it's never been with a third we knew well, it's often a casual pickup situation. The type of chemistry with the other people will determine more about the vibe, I think, then the configuration of bodies. It's relatively rare for Mrs. E to excitedly want to include a stranger, but when she's game, I want to take advantage of it. She tends to have much more fun with people she knows well, which can make finding new partners a challenge but also was a big deal to getting her comfortable enough to explore. As others have said, let her give you the signals about what she wants to think about and talk about further. She may want you to take the lead on being confident and showing her that her ideas are OK if she has some difficulty with the taboo, but her comfort level is what's going to make it a success.

Some people we used to play with are more friends than playmates. If there is jealousy, you are in the wrong hobby.

Basically, if jealousy isn't an issue, treat them the same way you'd treat vanilla girlfriends. You should be polite to those you don't know very well, chummy with the ones you're close to. If jealousy is an issue, perhaps you shouldn't be swinging.

My wife and I started with an open relationship being married directly from the start. After dating for four years in college we admitted to each other all the times & people we cheated on each other with and slowly began to realize how hypersexual both of us really were. SHe was always apprehensive and uneasy trying to answer the same questions you pose. For us, attending parties that were upscale with a large number of people was a tremendous help. In fact, we attended Swingfest when it came to South Florida as being relatively new to the scene. Keep talking and keep exploring and eventually you will both learn what each other truly wants and enjoys and then the meeting people comes naturally.

Surprisingly, I/we did not find it to be all that hard, perhaps for several reasons. We were young, in our mid-twenties (as were the other women) when this was happening; we had fun "dating" these women regardless of the outcome, so there was no stress for anyone; somehow I was able to pick up and increase the tendency for women wanting to have what another woman had - a married man; we let her choose how the sexual encounters went, and as mentioned many wanted just one-on-ones with hubby, which we respected but some women were open to expanding; finally, we were generous, taking them out or even on vacations and always paying.

Welcome Tammycraw! Listen to couplers! She's got the experience of someone who did make it work. Also understand; you are looking for something that is unusual. Not impossible, but unusual. Many couples first get into the lifestyle looking for the mythical 'unicorn'; a woman available and willing to do a threesome with a married couple where she plays with both the husband and the wife. I know you didn't express the sexuality of such a woman, whether she would be playing only with you, only with your husband, or both. If you're looking for both, that can be hard to find. Again, not impossible; just hard. Most interactions in swinging are two couples together. That said, there are also plenty of pleasures to be had in a threesome with another man. My wife and I have enjoyed many such threesomes, and have never had a bad time. Some were outstanding. If this sounds like it might be interesting to you, run it past your husband. Many husbands actively enjoy watching their wives have sex with other men. I know I do; it's a great thrill! Keep asking us questions! We're happy to help!

Perverted Petra here: I'm really into sucking dick after intercourse, whether it was with me, or Lora or Clair; tasting her and his fluids gives me all kinds of emotions and gets me excited. Seeing what had just happened makes me jealous, sucking his dick while they're playing with my hair and breasts makes me feel submissive, but also powerful - like I'm taking control of the situation. Once he's erect again I want to be taken doggy while I do oral on her. Again making me both submissive and dominant (like she wasn't enough for him); doing my best to please both a woman and a man and getting please myself. IDK, I just like it.

My husband and I are also interested in meeting local couples. If your in our area maybe we could have a vanilla meeting?

That indeed is always the question. Years ago, when I was on the look out for women for hubby and I to play with, if the answer was "yes" I would always be receptive to any advance from the girl and be moving ever so slightly in the direction of proposing for her and hubby (and potentially me) to go to bed together. More recently, that is how Clair found our mutual boyfriend: by listening, evaluating, accepting advances, and making subtle propositions to a wife she met among the group of moms at our kids' school.

Playman64 gave me a "Like" on this post 11 years after I made it. Things have changed - my desire has gone up, the guys have gone down, and I have to share them with two other women. That's why we share a boyfriend now, to take up the slack.

I guess what's allowed evolves over time and with comfort levels. We talked a lot about boundaries before our first experience.. Started off just wanting girl on girl with boys watching. That evolved to OK with touching, to what about oral? OK, maybe. Full swap? Definitely not. Actually in our first experience, we dived in head first and maybes become completely fine and now we're talking excitedly about full swapping when we get the chance. Kissing is clearly a funny one. I'm not OK with it (Mr), I think Mrs would be. For me, even before I joined the scene I always drew a clear distinction between just sex with girls, and on one night stands often didn't kiss them. But for making love to someone I have feelings for it's very much a sensual part of it. So, to kiss another feels way more intimate and 'loving' than just pure, albeit naughty sex. Also, I think it's nice to have something that's reserved for just us and if we do full swap, what's left? So we will be, no kissing (the boys, girls together.. Anything goes). Also don't come in her mouth.. I want that just for me. Condoms are a must for health reasons but I can see myself being less bothered about a guy coming in my wife than kissing her. Different strokes for different folks I guess and maybe some of those boundaries will drop away in time too. Time will tell and its going to be fun finding out! ?

For my wife and I, and as far as I can tell for the rest of our group as well, it doesn't matter what any other one or two people are doing with someone's spouse, so long as the spouse is enjoying it. My observation is that each pairing or threesome has its own ritual, groove, or whatever you want to call it, and the dynamics can be entirely different from other couplings or threesomes. Someone needs to write a grant proposal to study it all.

As already pointed out, it is whatever you want to make it be. You set the rules and boundaries. At the same time, it also depends on certain things. A MFM threesome (one woman, two men) is rather easy to arrange, but tends to be less intimate since it's rather easy to find another man who wants to have sex. However a FMF or FFM (two women and one man) is much more intimate since finding another woman to join is MUCH harder (they are called 'unicorns' due to their rarity). As for two couples, there is the choice of 'same room' and 'different room' swapping. In 'same room' you aren't having your partner 'taken from each other' but usually you are able to share them with another while you watch/participate/enjoy/share another. Also a very intimate event. In the end, it, once again, is what you decide to make of it. It's like saying 'it's blue' without knowing what shade is being referred to...light, dark, medium, sky, etc. The options are endless (but it's much more fun than just looking at something that is blue and can be any shade you both decide upon).

As described above, there are lot's of ways to explore this lifestyle. But, his question is about their first experience. My advice is to keep it simple. If you bring in a single male for a threesome - there is less pressure on you to perform. Ideally, you and your wife have a good experience to build upon. If not MFM, maybe a soft swap with an experienced couple who is patient and willing to go at your pace. Get a couple good experiences under your belt and go from there. One thing, rarely talked about is that the first swinging experience can be pretty overwhelming. There is so much sexy input - your brain can go 'tilt' and your erection may go on vacation. Get yourself acclimated to being naked with others and seeing your spouse have sex with someone else, without the need to perform. Once you are comfortable - sky is the limit.

I will try to express my thoughts when I am playing. Part of our excitement is Michael watching me with a new partner which has led me to enjoy the whole process of my time enjoying the finding a willing man to go back to a room with us. This is all pre-pandemic. It doesn't always go to plan, I enjoy a man who lets me please him. From undressing him and seeing his dick for the first time, I want him to relax. Michael says I get very intense when I first see a dick. Does size matter? Not really except when I notice it’s big. After the initial contact I want the man to feel I am the best he has ever had. I sense what he likes and makes him groan or moan. Every man reacts differently, some are happy to be pleased some want to reciprocate. I will normally concentrate on pleasing more than being pleased. I vary sucking with licking. Some like more licking and everyone loves a deep blowjob. My main thought is pleasing him.

Gator, swinging is what you make of it; any particular encounter can be what the three or four or more of you want. I see your point about the threesome. I've been in many an MFM with my wife. But in any configuration, there are moments where two people are enjoying each other and the third is only mildly involved, or simply watching. I have fun watching my wife with other men, but I wouldn't call it 'personal.' In foursomes, again, it's what you choose it to be. Most of the time, yeah, it's usually two sets of one-on-one, but there are times when all four are together. Now that I haven't really answered your question . . .

We have a good friend that is totally into this. She loves the verbal abuse and for the guys to totally use her body. She will take on 6 or 7 guys and let them take turns fucking anything they want. Just her groove - definitely not mine. I love having 3 or 4 guys at a time as long as they treat me like a goddess!