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As mentioned try a local meet and greet. Our first was the best thing ever happened. We have made some great friends as well as FWB. As we live in a small town and a very conservative state it's almost impossible to get invited to any parties if no one has met you. A membership in SLS or one of the other sites is just about a necessity. Which one is fairly dependant on your area. When we attended our first meet and greet my hands were so sweaty that I could hardly hold the steering wheel. Our nervousness went away after about 10 minutes. I think you will find that swingers by and large are very accepting group of people. If you decide to visit a club for your 1st experience take the tour. Don't be afraid to say that you are really curious and the staff should step up and give you a bit more direction. It also depends on how adventurous you are from the get go. Do you guys observe and make decisions afterwards? Or do you decide to jump in with both feet.....on the deep end? We did the latter and have never looked back. If a list of do's and don'ts are helpful by all means start writing. Be sure to discuss what happens after sort of a debriefing. Nervous anticipation is fine and doubt or regret isn't. This isn't for everybody. You BOTH have to want this. You hear about taking one for the team. This is on the same level as doing stuff you don't like/are uncomfortable with. Would you rather play together in the same room or separate rooms. Finally there are a great number of things I could list. If you are interested in a more in-depth discussion please PM me and I can send you contact info ?

The one thing we explicitly keep to ourselves is unprotected intercourse. Over time we've figured out that we don't have many hangups about using the rest of our bodies, but shooting inside her is between us.

I'm going go try a different take on this question. Although jealousy has never been an issue for us, my wife has sometimes had difficulty interacting with the other women present at lifestyle clubs. She sometimes finds it hard to know what to speak about with them. Her theory is that women, when they are getting to know one another, often talk about kids, family, etc. For lifestyle friends, this is not as comfortable, so she's sometimes found herself trying to think of what to talk about.

It wasn't at a club but a high school reunion where Laura met my high school sweetheart. Laura volunteered to pick up our kids at Grandma's, but urged Jill and me to stay and dance. Jill agreed to drive me home later. We had gone to the same dance school so we danced well together. We had never "gone all the way." During a slow dance, Jill whispered that she thought that was a pity. I told her I'd talk to Laura about Jill and I "fixing it." Jill was shocked that I could ask my wife such a thing. She thought about the idea and me and decided it made sense. We agreed to ask when she took me home. Laura was enthusiastic but stipulated that she could do her (also previously not fucked) HS Sweetheart if she got the chance. Jill and I spent the next afternoon in a hotel room, with a "Tryst Kit" prepared by Laura, a bottle of wine, two glasses, and a tube of flavored KY. Laura wasn't as lucky. At her HS reunion, her former boyfriend was there and they danced. He never seemed to quite understand. His wife was a "clinger" and a lawyer. I think he was wise.

Hard to speak for the distant past, but for the last 8 months of COVID life, the quiet seems to fit -- crowds are "so 2019"...

Some people did not get the vaccine young. It did not exist when we were younger. Some say it’s not worth getting after one is sexually active, because you’ve already been exposed to HPV. But some people have had few partners. It may be of value to those people if they have not been vaccinated.

No. The argument is that as we get older and have been sexually active longer there is a greater likelihood that we are already infected. The last I heard the upper limit now is 40 ish(?).I do not know if it allowed past whatever the point is. I am certain that insurance will not cover it. At our age , pushing seventy, we are told that given a "normal" sexual history it is almost a lead pipe cinch that we have been exposed. In the beginning they were only vaccinating girls just around puberty. This stuff must be in really limited quantity or very expensive. I do not think there are down sides to being vaccinated if you are already a carrier. It just wouldn't do much good. Also becoming infect at 18 or so has more risk than at 50.

Don't go too fast. Don't just leap up and declare, "sorry, it ain't workin'." Almost all women are well aware of the many different reasons for gaining and maintaining an erection or for not gaining an erection and can perform a course correction, if given a chance. And you'll become better with experience.

For what it's worth, our first attempts were "same-room" swap, first soft, then full swap. I don't think that in either case we felt like it was impersonal, but it was also far from an "orgy" situation, and we knew the other couple reasonably well. When we've done one-off MFM, it's never been with a third we knew well, it's often a casual pickup situation. The type of chemistry with the other people will determine more about the vibe, I think, then the configuration of bodies. It's relatively rare for Mrs. E to excitedly want to include a stranger, but when she's game, I want to take advantage of it. She tends to have much more fun with people she knows well, which can make finding new partners a challenge but also was a big deal to getting her comfortable enough to explore. As others have said, let her give you the signals about what she wants to think about and talk about further. She may want you to take the lead on being confident and showing her that her ideas are OK if she has some difficulty with the taboo, but her comfort level is what's going to make it a success.

Put a profile on SLS, SDC, etc. Go to meet and greets, hotel parties, etc. I would say between 1 and 10% of the population swings. Go to where the swingers are. You will be wasting your time with 90-99% of the general public.

Basically, if jealousy isn't an issue, treat them the same way you'd treat vanilla girlfriends. You should be polite to those you don't know very well, chummy with the ones you're close to. If jealousy is an issue, perhaps you shouldn't be swinging.

The approach of letting your wife decide on how to start would certainly send the right message to your wife that she is in control and you will make it fulfilling for her. It's all about her comfort, so ask her (without trying to tip the scales) what experience she finds most comfortable. It may be a same room or separate room couples swap, an MFM with you participating or maybe just being there, or maybe even an FFM if she has some Lesbian desires. You need to not only let her decide which arrangement she prefers, but also choose the person/people involved. Hubby let me be non-monogamous on my terms with no expectation of reciprocity. I appreciated it tremendously, but it took me two years before I wanted him to play. He was/is a very wise man - it work out well, including for him. ?

Some experienced swingers get annoyed at the club scene if there are too many people there who are 'tourists'; not really swingers (or not yet anyway) and just there to watch. You might find yourself being regarded as such if you go to a club. Or, you might not. There's really no way to know. To get 'introduced'; njbm's advice is excellent. Get profiles setup. Don't have one line answers to common questions on them. Also, as njbm noted, there are hotel meetings, meet and greets, etc. in vanilla settings where swingers get together to meet, with no on-site play. This can be a little less intimidating for a first time. But, as njbm expect you might get some invitations. No, there's no sponsor. If you're lucky, you might find a couple that's willing to help you learn and understand the lifestyle. Such a couple might be happy to have you watch. I know that my wife and I would be willing, but I don't know that many couples would be. Experienced swingers want to swing. When we got started, we did meet up with a wonderful couple who helped answer a lot of our questions. We never played with them or in front of them (or they in front of us). You are talking a lot, which is great! My wife and I spent about eight months talking swinging through before we actually got into it. We thought of all sorts of scenarios, questions, etc. We kept looking into things, finding other people's stories, etc. and this forum REALLY helped with that. We eventually got to a point where we had talked over everything we could think of at least a few times. It was time to jump in, and we did. Our first experience was a very enjoyable soft swap. Welcome to the forum! Ask us any question, and we'll give you honest answers. We're a helpful bunch here and will be happy to help.

Your best bet to meet people is to post a profile on a lifestyle site like SLS, SDC, AFF and a couple of others. Pick one or two that are popular in your geographic area. Other couples can contact you or you can contact others. You can agree to a vanilla meeting, where you just meet and talk with no sex anticipated. The sites also list hotel parties and other events. At these events, it may be easier to hang back and observe, although you have to expect invitations to participate. Few people watch or get watched, some people have soft swap (oral, as I understand). Most full swap (intercourse). I think it’s an interesting adventure. Enjoy the ride and don’t do anything either of you don’t want to do.