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“Concerning sex, our primary cultural assumption is that monogamy is the only acceptable pattern. A writer is permitted to write endlessly about rape, incest, adultery, and major perversion … provided he suggests that all of these things are always sinful or at least a social mistake — and must be paid for, either publicly or in remorse. (The thing the censors had against Lady Chatterley and her lover were not their rather tedious monosyllables, but the fact that they liked adultery and got away with it – and lived happily ever after.)” This quote is from Robert A. Heinlein in 1960 in a letter to his agent as he was authoring Stranger In A Strange Land. It should be noted that 'major perversion' probably included non-monogamy as Heinlein and his wife were almost certainly swingers. Although we have progressed some in the last sixty years, I think his comments continue to be somewhat valid. Your comments?

SLS has always been much better than AFF. I don't use web sites anymore, but if you want to use one, it has always been SLS as the gold standard. The best is meet 'n greets though. You get to do in one evening what it takes weeks or months to do on a web site.

Hrmf. I wish I could edit the html directly and segment this quote. Responding to "Shhh don't tell her I knew lol" ??? ?? ? On the clerk playing you...so rude. There's a chain of shops called Cirilla's (cirillas.com) scattered about the midwest. They are brightly lit, offer decent selection, no scuzzy hook up hallways in back, and usually staffed by women. My wife feels quite comfortable going into one, whereas any other shop of the same genre usually feels creepy to her. What happened to you likely would never happen in Cirilla's.

You got me. You’re correct. Not only do I have different thoughts with my girlfriends, I have different thoughts with different people, male or female. Just a thought, when I am with a gf not only do I want her to enjoy, I want her to enjoy an orgasm or several. Our total experience is different. When with a guy, giving a bj, I want to please but I have to decide when to stop or if I should stop. I think most men would not want to just get a bj even though I know many who do. Different thoughts always going on in my head.

From the Merriam-Webster dictionary: Definition of monogamy 1a: the state or practice of having only one sexual partner at a time

I just got one with a butterfly....game changer!! I think I may wear it out. Highly recommend one!!

That makes complete sense to me. I could never feel, emotionally, The way I feel for my husband. Besides, sls is not cheating in my opinion so, yes I am monogamous!

Here my 2 cent on this. I am not a fan either of incest porn but, but from most "stories lines" all people are willing to do it and have sex with one another. The porn I hate is the ones that glorified rape and that. Not a fan of Kink for that. I think rape is no joke. The endless stories we hear from rape from hear real people, the stories we see from Law and Order SVU and the countless tv and movie we have seen. Rape is no joke and should NEVER be glorified.

Lioness do you have the same thoughts when you are with a girlfriend that you have with a man? I don’t. When with a man I am guessing more, I have no idea what he is feeling, I can only go by his reactions. When with a woman I try to replicate the things I like being done to me. It doesn’t always work that way for every woman, it’s a good starting place for me. I have been with too many men who just don’t know what to do. I have also been with many more men that know exactly what to do. I’m lucky, I married a man who does just fine by me.

That is one First Post! I wonder what made you post this odyssey on a swinger forum and not a marital problems site.

My husband and I have been a part of the SLS website for just over 9 months and have met some great and not so great people on there. I think there's going to be a mixed bag of people you find, no matter the website you use. I agree with the other replies that your successes will depend on location, effort put into your profile, the quality of your messages to others, etc. SLS is the only website we've used to find other swingers and don't have any complaints. If anything, you can try out a paid membership for a month or two and then extend on to a lifetime if you're so motivated. Good luck!

Numex, you might be thinking of Woody Allen’s “Annie Hall” which has a scene like that.

May I add as well that things need not be symmetric. I was non-monogamous two years before I was comfortable with my husband being with other women. That was one of the most generous and understanding things he has ever done. It made me feel powerful, confident, loved and contributed greatly to my development as a person. I am also bisexual and hubby is not. Be loving, understanding, and caring towards your wife, giving more than you expect in return. Put her first and tell her that you love her.

I learned a lot from my older sister with whom I shared a room when we were kids. She was 16 and dating this guy whom she invited over after school (both our parents worked) and they would lock the door to our room doing the hanky panky. I was a couple of years younger in junior high. I would pound on the locked door while they were inside, yelling through the door that it's my room too. She said she's doing things that would gross me out but I didn't care. I wanted in the room. Well I got my wish. They were both naked, I pretended I didn't care, and they were doing it right on top of the cover. They were trying to gross me out, but I was stubborn. So I saw everything from blowjobs to intercourse, all the while pretending to do my homework. I didn't budge when they wiped cum on me, even though I was so grossed out and tried to pull my sister's hair out. My sis and I laughed about it but at the time I wanted to kill her. The hands-on education came on a day when my brother called in the afternoon needing a ride from school to his part-time job because his car broke down. My sister's boyfriend was already at our house, and my sis left to give my brother a ride. I was stuck with gross boy. He was totally naked in our bedroom and asked me if I wanted to touch his penis. I did it after some prodding and it was the most amazing sensation to feel it got hard and big in my hand. He showed me how to jerk him off and how to give him a blowjob. That was the first time I tasted and swallowed cum. I felt it tasted disgusting. Look how far I have come.

Was just a small part of my early education but while ten years of age, two other fifth graders, Linda and Barbara, were, as I realized only later, competing for my attention. So Linda invites me into her family's fenced-in back yard saying she wanted to show me something and have my opinion on it. She wanted my opinion, lifting her skirt, on her new flower-print panties. "Very nice", I said innocently. Barbara somehow learns of this and finds me behind the school building and tells me she thinks her brother's private parts are not normal so she wants to see mine so that she can compare. This includes determining what is needed to cause this strange phenomenon of making the private part stick straight out. Linda somehow learns of this and invites me to the same secluded place behind the school saying that she wanted my opinion again. I was thinking underware or maybe even something better. But, no. She wants to know who's prettier; she or Barbara. So I started into elaborate reasons why she was much more desirable as well as enumerating Barbara's many shortcomings. Well, folks, there was a pre-arranged plan. Barbara was listening through an open window. But Linda had apparently departed from the pre-arranged script and had improvised her loaded question. Now I was in the middle of a feud between two females. So what did I learn? • Woman can be devious. • Always smile sweetly and speak no ill of any woman.

I'm a vibrator girl personally. I have quite a few and enjoy them immensely. Without the vibration, it's just not as intense.

We have had good luck finding guys for MFM on both sites, and have come across men that don't "get it" on both sites as well. It is somewhat time consuming but we chat on line with our new prospect before ever deciding to meet (usually a couple of times). We figure if they are respectful chatting on line then they are worth at least meeting in person. So far it has worked out well this way for us.

Agreed... most couples are on 3 to 5 sites... Aff works We have met some great people there. Mostly couples though. But we do have single female friends who do well there as well.. The area you are in affects which site is best as well.