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I was driving down the road and had a random thought...can you tell if a person might be a swinger by the type of car that they drive?

Laura and I found that two couples were able to create combinations to fulfill out fantasies. When we had threesomes, it was with are usual with our play-couple while a spouse was out of town. "When a spouse is away, the spice will play." -Mrs. Alura

As well as at least some wives actively enjoy watching their husbands have sex with other women. And since most women, in my estimation, have Lesbian tendencies there is that possibility as an attraction as well.

Ok so this may be immature BUT: We are new to the lifestyle, but we have started finding ourselves smiling or laughing at terms we have used daily in our vanilla life just because in this lifestyle they have a different meaning. Examples are the other day I said "We can swing by there and see" or today I said "Get over the hump", and my wife & I just look at each other and laugh at our "dirty" minds. Anyone else ever have this happen? Probably not, we are probably just weird.

Lioness, I just now, more than a year later, saw your post. It made me smile because I’m sure you didn’t mean Norman Mailer’s WWII novel “The Naked and the Dead”. The thought of infantryman charging into battle with 18th century steam powered dildo is, well, pretty hilarious. ??

I always find the grouping of people interesting. Why are people grouped? If you watch the news or listen to the elected morons everyone belongs to a group. A person isn't allowed to be themselves, they are part of a group. Once put in a group by some loudmouth fool, they must do as the group does. Absurd. Is a man/woman who hits the bars a few times a month and sleeps with people they just met, people they know, whoever defined as a "swinger"? What if a boyfriend and girlfriend do this, are they swingers? Sure, group them as "swingers" so wackos can demonize them for their impure choices! The copied dictionary definition is sad. Is a swinger "monogamous"? Why does it matter?

We have a phrase...."Have you met my friend Chris". We where on the group bed at the club (with each other, not swapping) when a women crawled over and started making out with her. When they stopped, the women introduced herself by name (dont remember) then said "Have you met my friend Chris?" Next to Mrs R was another guy with his dick about 18" from her face. Mrs R instantly grabbed it and pulled it into her mouth and she blew him like a porn star. She now says that when she sees a guy that she is interested in, regardless of where we are.

“Concerning sex, our primary cultural assumption is that monogamy is the only acceptable pattern. A writer is permitted to write endlessly about rape, incest, adultery, and major perversion … provided he suggests that all of these things are always sinful or at least a social mistake — and must be paid for, either publicly or in remorse. (The thing the censors had against Lady Chatterley and her lover were not their rather tedious monosyllables, but the fact that they liked adultery and got away with it – and lived happily ever after.)” This quote is from Robert A. Heinlein in 1960 in a letter to his agent as he was authoring Stranger In A Strange Land. It should be noted that 'major perversion' probably included non-monogamy as Heinlein and his wife were almost certainly swingers. Although we have progressed some in the last sixty years, I think his comments continue to be somewhat valid. Your comments?

I think people cannot wrap their heads around the lack of jealousy.

Same here. We found the best way to have a threesome is to have a good solid foursome who are all comfortable with each other.

Have any women here tried taking any of these drugs or those designed for women? I don't need them or want to experiment, at least at this stage in my life, but I am curious.

The largest group sex gathering that I have ever been involved with is when David, Red, Clair, Lora, Walter (first as Lora's boyfriend, then her husband, and finally as her ex-husband), and I all played together. Three women and three men worked pretty well.

Probably because they couldn't believe that I'm ok with them having sex with hubby (or boyfriend, Red) and they expect me to cause some drama. In reality it's the opposite - he having sex with another woman was something that I did and do want. Most were even more reluctant to let me watch/participate, probably for the same reason. This is partially correct in that I did become extremely jealous, but it was also a turn on for me, and the jealousy made me love and want my husband and boyfriend even more. Admittedly, it has become a drug for me. The ones who did let me watch and participate were bisexual and wanted to play with me as well. Actually, that was brought out my Lesbian side, my jealous desire to get into the mess that was/is sex between her and my guy.

I used to be the same way (my older sister told me that I was a freak of nature and would start going balls), but found that both men and women really like my clit that protrudes beyond my labia. They find it hard to resist licking and sucking on it. I'm now proud of it.

Exhibitionism and swinging seem to go hand in hand. When i first met my wife she was working part time as an artists model posing nude for art schools arts groups and private artists - and that TOTALLY turned me on. When i asked if she got a little turned on by the exhibitionism she smiled shyly and confessed "Yes". At that moment i knew i had a keeper!! Regarding whether it's Ok to approach: No. That's a good way to ruin it. Just sit back and enjoy the show.

Generic Cialis and Viagra have gotten quite reasonable with a GoodRx Coupon. Generic Cialis 5 mgm x90 tabs is $12.25 at our local Safeway Pharmacy. I currently use Edex by injection which I don't recommend unless absolutely necessary, also out of sight expensive unless covered by insurance. 30 years ago I didn't need anything but stimulus but eventually I went to Cialis which works nicely for all evening when taken an hour ahead. Those who just want a "bump" should start with 5 mgm. Maximum dose 20mgm.

That makes complete sense to me. I could never feel, emotionally, The way I feel for my husband. Besides, sls is not cheating in my opinion so, yes I am monogamous!

This is a tripping point for my wife and I as well. We don't mind being exhibitionists; it can be a lot of fun. But, we don't do it when there are unwitting 'victims', most especially kids. If it's consenting adults, absolutely. Adults that have no idea...depends.

We call the guys who like to poke all the women at a house party “bumblebees.”

Some funny stuff here How about you, have you ever created your own new term for something?

Yes we do play on cam.

Does anyone have a pet peeve that may not make much difference to some or most people but is a total "deal breaker" to you? For us, it is smokers. That smell gets "into" a person and it doesn't matter if they change their clothes or even shower, the odor is still there and it a complete and total turn of to both of us. J & L

A cuckcake is what I understand, and you wife is a cuckquean.

Have been using trimix now for a few months and I heartily recommend it to anyone with ED of any nature. As mentioned above the injection is painless and it is just the thought of what you are doing the first few times that are any sort of stumbling block. One also must gauge the dosage carefully as mentioned above and be aware that the product has a very limited shelf life although that can be extended by keeping the product frozen in freezer and just thawing enough each time that it is required. You also have to gauge the increase in dosage as the product ages. I have found that getting to the right injection site also affects the time that it lasts. Depending on dosage etc it is very easy to go anywhere from 1 hour to more than 4 hours with no ill affects. Talk to your urologist. They can be quite forthcoming in other methods as well if your ED is severe.

I used trimix when the ED pills did not work. It worked fine for a while until there was no effect. I then received an implant and then problem solved. The best decision made.

Couple on anecdotes. First, 4 hour erection is a sign that things might not be working out of the system as expected. Longer term can end up low flow priapism where the blood in the corpus spongiosm actually clots and can’t flow back out. The penis. An be painful and become necrotic (tissue death) if not treated. The treatment can be ugly. Large Trocar needle (8-14 Fr) inserted into the penis to suck out the clotted blood. Not a pretty sight and not a side effect to be taken lightly. The injection is a vasodilator and can effect everyone differently so beware if you are considering g this without the supervision of an MD. Yeah, you can get Blue Chew and generic Viagra/Cialis from India/Canada and many do with without a doctors prescription or supervision. Side effects are mild (stuffiness/headache/flushing) unless taken with certain heart medications (nitrates)or certain recreational drugs containing nitrites (poppers). So, I do have some medical background. I used to work where we shared a waiting room with a Urology Center. Urology closed at lunch on Fridays while my area was open until 5. Had an elderly couple come in on Friday afternoon. They wandered around looking lost because nobody was at the reception desk. When asked is the needed help, he answered “We came here for a sexual injection.” All I could do to hold it together, while breaking the bad news that Urology closes early on Fridays. They left and all I could think about was how their weekend was ruined.

Trimix for anxiety? Nosir! While Trimix at some strength/dosage will certainly force an erection, anxiety's roots are in the brain. So you work with a therapist to overcome that much sooner than starting to inject your penis with a med. I see people with prostate, penis, or general circulatory issues use Trimix....again, true medical impairments. Not psychological. Not sure where you are located but go to Psychologytoday.com or goodtherapy.com and enter your zip code then find a good therapist to work with that specializes in sexual dysfunction....not one that's loosely familiar or willing to give it a try, but one that specializes in it. That will serve you far better in the long run.

Like all interventions, there are benefits and risks. Yes, bimix and trimix are effective. Yes, there are meaningful risks. The general approach is to start with the PDE5 inhibitors and see how they work.

Mixed Marital Arts - that may be the best name for it I have ever read on this site!

We were meeting another couple to play tennis and the guy of the other couple did not show up. The other woman said "why don't we just have a threesome instead". My wife immediately said "that would be way more fun than tennis". The woman is extremely "proper". She had no idea why we thought it was funny.

Oh, my dirty mind is on autopilot while watching sports on TV...baseball especially Listening to the sportscasters, my mind can turn a base hit "right up the middle" or a strike out "he takes it" into such riotous fun

I was in the car with my mom and we were talking about my kids' taekwondo class. Then my mom pipes up and says, "I heard about this new class called Mixed MARITAL Arts. It sounds fun" I totally cracked up and laughed for the longest time, and then had to explain that it's martial not marital. I did agree that it sounded fun.

yup, happens here all the time. It's like a Beavis and Butthead episode..."heheh he said 'swing'"

When you roll up the rim on a Tim Horton's cup and it says, "Please play again." I always have to remind myself I am not with swingers and therefore cannot comment that that sounds like winning, not losing, to me.

Does use change count. For the Harry Potter fans out there. We have Magic friends (Lifestyle friends) and Muggel friends (non lifestyler) We came up with this when the kids were younger and we would want to talk in the care about who we were meeting or the type of party we were going too. It just kind of seemed natural as our swing friends were always magical and well if you red Harry Potter you know the Muggles (Non Magic) folks just went on with their boring life’s never having a clue about the Magical community all around them.

Pushyness and arrogance i guess. some people find arrogance like confidence, and a turn on... not us