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We have an open marriage that did start with cheating. Sort of tit for tat arrangement. We had agreed not to argue or question our nights out. My wife would go on cheating sites, people seeking affairs while my meetings were more of women I met in different situations. At that time we never discussed swinging or being together with others. We lived a don’t ask, don’t tell marriage. Eventually we did talk and tell and that led to our first swinging together. Our marriage has survived the cheating, the open marriage and now swinging. If someone had told me any marriage could survive all these obstacles I would have said no way. For us it seems to work.

Maybe sometimes. My wife and I drive a two-seat roadster that has a registration plate that reads WE PLAY. That two-word combination would mean very little to a person not swinger. But a couple saw us sitting at a bar and came over to ask, "do you drive that car that has the WE PLAY plate?" They were swingers and that hint allowed them to make a good guess. The make, model, and color of this roadster provide, however, no hints.

When I first strayed from my vows I would meet women and always wore protection, not wanting to bring a disease home. In my head it was something stupid because of all the oral play I had. A few times I was nervous and got checked at a walk in doctor because I didn’t want my family doctor to know my secret life. Knowing my wife was also playing, I had asked her to be checked by a walk in and she told me she gets checked regularly. Now we are playing together and speak more about our concerns and knowing we are both playing without protection. A couple we met told us about a doctor they met who will write a scrip for bloodwork for them with no questions. I will always defer to my partner as to bareback or not. I rather go bareback when playing if agreed on.

I always feel shy after bf filled me up and is still dripping out with cum when I get home to SO. I clean up thoroughly before leaving. But bf will fill me up again. So now I understand that he appears to be loving it too that I get home wet. ?

Definitely NOT a thing for me. As a matter of fact, IMO it's a real turn-off. The turn-on, is that we're here each a sexual athlete in our own right and playing at a high level - experiencing the team-sport of sexual exploration together. If I sensed jealousy by the man or an attempt-to-humiliate by the woman, it'd be a game killer. Not into that shit. The thrill is what made sex as a single person so much fun but condensed down to a few hours as opposed to several months. Seeing someone that you're attracted to, the meeting of the eyes, the reciprocation of attraction, heavy flirting, leading to the first touch, first kiss.... getting naked and having amazing sex. The night needs nothing else and for me, it's hard to imagine anything that is more thrilling or fun to do on a date night/night out.

My brother had a VW microbus, complete with 8 track deck, flowers on the side, etc. However, I can't say I've ever knowingly spotted him on this forum ?? ?? ??

Me and my wife are both in are mid 40's and have discussed open marriage. We are trying to figure out some rules. She says it has to be alone and not together, which I am ok with. I said that I want to know about when she gonna have sex. She said that would be weird but I say if it happens and she doesn't say anything that would be hiding it and feel like cheating. I also have requested it be a one time event and no regulars. Have sex with a partner one night and move on. She seems ok with that. My feeling is I would rather her have sex withe say 3 guys in a week then one guy multiple times. She seem to agree that way for me too. She has stated none in are home or with people in are circle, which I am ok with them. We are both in good shape and look very young for are age. We got married when we were 21 and my wife looked 16. People still think she in her early 30's. The kids are now grown and in college. We both have professional jobs and want to be discreet about things. Any suggestions or advice?

Yes he's a frequent regular. I know don't mix work blah blah blah

Newbies are easy to spot. they all have 'training wheels' but once we graduate it's hard to tell.

Her boss?

Exactly. That's another type of turn on for some people - fucking a MILF. That's why I can see why fucking someone else's SO is a somewhat similar idea. I don't think it's really that strange.

I remember being told that people who had a VW van were pot smoking hippies that believed in free love. I don’t see many of them but I’m always looking to see who gets out of one.

I have an Altima and a motorcycle. Nothing that I would look at in another and think "they probably swing."

I wanted to respond to the thread: Where did you get your sex education? but I didn't want to write a wall o' text and derail the thread so I have opted to answer it here. When I was about 4 or 5 years old, I was friends with the next door neighbor girl. She was a couple of years older than me and she had an older brother that was at least a year or two older than her. I remember being at the side of our house, next to my dad's old beat-up Oldsmobile (that no longer worked) and my friend, M, asking to show me "mine" while she showed me "her's". We didn't touch each other but just showed our pubic mounds. I think I had concurrent thoughts of, "Cool, looks like mine," and, "What's the big deal about these things?" Now, her older brother, A, was friends with another neighborhood boy, probably around the same age as him. I'll be blunt...I didn't like either of them. I found them to be scary but since one of them was my friend's brother, I had to interact with them a lot more than I cared for. One day, A and his friend wanted to pair up with M and I. I didn't know what game it was but I was paired with A while my friend, M, was paired with the other neighborhood boy. They had us split up, one pair on the right side of the house and the other at the left side. I was told to lie down on the grass. To this day, I can't recall what exactly happened because things moved pretty quickly. Maybe he was starting to lift up my shirt or unbutton my pants. I don't know. What I do know was that I was looking at the window of his house and his much older sister looked out and had a horrified look on her face that quickly changed to, "No, no, no!" Before I knew it, she had rushed out of the house and helped me up from my position. At that moment, even though I had no idea about sex, I knew we were doing some wrong...what ever it was. So, my mom took it upon herself to give me the sex talk. Since I was so young, I didn't understand most of what she was talking about. And I was bored. Not to mention, I had that feeling of, "Well, what ever sex is, it must be wrong to do it." I don't recall my mother ever sitting with me again to talk about it. There were a couple of permission slips to attend a sex education video class at school, in 4th and 5th grade, which I went to. I'm not sure if I paid attention to them but it probably made my parents more at ease knowing I was getting some kind of education about it. Also, during those primary school years, I remember friends whispering about "getting their period". "Did you get it yet?" I was "lucky" (/sarcasm) enough to begin mine at 10 years old. My mom had confided in me that she was amazed that I wasn't freaked out about menstruation. However, I was freaked out about a different neighborhood boy groping at my developing breasts on the school bus, every day after school in 5th grade. And I wasn't the only one he would do that to. I remember having a hard time telling my mom about it. Was it something I was doing to make him grab me? Would I get in trouble? Would she be able to do anything about it? Sadly, I'm not sure my mother really understood what I was trying to tell her and if she did, she wasn't sure what to do about it so I had to endure the pawing for the rest of the school year. However, I had conflicting feelings about these incidents as well. Even though it was unwanted touching, I found myself also aroused by it. These were my earliest "sexual" experiences. I had no others until I met Mr. Sun. My other sex education came from reading (and re-reading) any and all sexual scenes in books, I would masturbate to them over and over again. There was even a general medical book that had detailed drawings of the penis and how to place a condom on one. Eventually, I would luck out and figure out I could find sex stories on the internet and print them out. I even came upon stacks and stacks of VHS tapes of porn that my dad recorded and watched a few of those. Obviously, this wasn't an ideal way to begin my sexual education but life is hardly perfect.

What I love about your posts is that you always talk about making love. You keep going back to your first Lover and how you enjoyed that first time. You also found out one of the great things about swinging, you learn about things you enjoy that you were not doing. We have met many couples that are finding their way through the maze of swinging including many new experiences. Some couples don’t want Mike involved, and some the husband just watches. Some insist on condoms and I am good with that. For the most part I don’t feel the difference til the man cums. “Swimmers” is just funny to me, nobody feels sperm swimming. You experienced something many men won’t do. Women are more apt to go there before cleaning up. My thought is most women have tasted cum many times. One of the games we play with couples new to having the girls play is to have the other woman clean me after their husbands cum.

It was over 5 years ago that we swapped the first time and I let another man finish in me. Reading through this old post brought back a memory that has changed how me and my husband play differently since that day. I am sure every woman has experienced the dripping out after having sex. We have all had that telltale wet spot we have left. We always had a box of Kleenex next to the bed to wipe away before going to clean up. If we had a second go at it, before the cleanup, it had always been with just snuggling and possibly me helping with the second erection. That very first time, my new partner, after making love to me, remained in me for some time. I remember how different and exciting it was and how nervous I was lying in bed with him in me knowing my life had changed that night. Then he did something my husband never did, as he was lifting himself out of me, instead of getting a tissue or towel he went right down and started cleaning me with his mouth. It’s funny, just last night I had to remind my husband after now doing that same thing to me, that he never used to do that and that it took me telling him how much I liked it that first time for him to do it. When we take our time it has now become very much part of our love making.

There is nothing like taking a wife back to her husband with a pussy or ass full of cum, and leaking down her thighs.

We only swing together. We can do separate rooms, we will split up at house parties, but we don’t generally play separately. We trust each other, but other people have different ideas. We don’t have relationships with other swingers. Sometimes we have friendships, but if we see possessiveness, puppy love, over infatuation, it’s game over. We swing for entertainment purposes. If people develop romantic attachments, we will move on. Some people are polyamorous and we certainly encourage and support their lifestyle, but it’s not our preference.

No one else let's a sex partner of mine cum in me, I let him cum in me. If I allow a guy to enter into any of my openings, I expect and want him to ejaculate in me. The idea of those swimmers in me is a turn on, especially in my vagina where they can live for days.

I haven't done any swinging myself in a few years. I did most of it back in my 20's as a single male (from 2002 - 2010). I was with about 10 couples. Then in my 30's I was with 2 more couples. It was a new couple every other year, and some of them met with me 6 times. 60% of them preferred that I go bare with her the first time. 40% wanted condoms. One couple changed and let me do her bare on the second play date. I haven't had an sti. I've been tested once or twice a year. I have known 3 people in an open relationship circle of lovers to have HPV. I think 2 of them were using condoms, actually. I'm currently seeing a woman that is spending lots of nights with one of my friends, for over a year now. When we talked about them having sex before they did it, I said that I'd prefer if they used a condom, but I didn't care about anything else. They didn't use a condom, and never have together. She told me the truth when I asked. She knows that I'm really into bare sex anyway, and I was mostly just saying "the right thing" when I suggested they use a condom. If she were to swing with me (she says that she doesn't find our swinger friends attractive), she would probably want it bare all the time. Cumming inside? Of course!

Paying for access keeps riff raff down.

One of the many things I like about this forum is that you are not necessarily going to get the answers you want, but the answers you need to hear. With that spirit in mind, and understanding I am in no way meaning to convey any negativity against you or your wife; I feel the lack of discussion about what each of you doing or has done is a non-starter. There are very few couples that make this work, and for good reason. You are inexperienced in this lifestyle. You're basically giving each other a hall pass to go cheat, but with permission. Imagine the insecurities that can develop, the jealousy in wondering if the other has had sex with somebody recently? This is a very real possibility. Further, most swingers approach the lifestyle as a team; they rejoice in each other's successes, relish hearing about their experiences, and want the best for their spouses. Personally, I find it incredibly erotic for my wife to tell me about her escapades. This often happens in the context of us making love while she tells me about her evening out with another guy. NOT talking about it removes each other from that portion of each of your lives. It's exclusionary, and begins to build walls. This is not good, not good at all. There is also a very serious safety issue. You've said no sex in your home. This means your wife is going to be going off with guys somewhere not at home, and you won't know where or even why she is gone...or if she is gone if you're not at home and don't know she's out. Ok women go on dates all the time, but this is different. If you value your wife's security, then knowing where she is going and with whom is very important. My wife goes on many solo dates. But, I always know where she is going, even what room number at a hotel, and if I need to contact her she will answer the phone. Let's face it; there are some serious creeps out there that may take advantage of the situation and your wife will be at risk. Safety first. Also; the one and done rule plays against the safety issue as well. I feel considerably less comfortable if my wife goes off on a solo date for the first time with someone and I haven't met the guy. She has had a couple of long term boyfriends, and I've felt no qualms at all with her going off to have sex with them. I know she's safe and is going to have a good time. I'd find it less appealing for her to be going off on first time solo dates all the time. Also, as others have said, sex with someone gets better the more times you have sex with them. They learn your likes, dislikes, what feels good, what doesn't. For my wife's part, being able to play multiple times with a guy means that eventually she'll get to play with him without a condom. For her, it feels a lot better and she really enjoys men cumming inside of her, so it's better for her to have a partner with whom she's played many times. Also, this idea that she will play alone and so will you; be prepared that she would be getting a LOT more sex than you will. Finding men to play with a married woman is relatively easy. Finding women to play with a married man, not so much. For every 20 times she plays, you MIGHT play once. MIGHT. Would you be comfortable with that? To be brutally honest here; I'm seeing red flags pop up on this one. Playing alone when you're first getting into this is something that couples do (though it is uncommon), but I don't hear about it happening successfully with couples who don't talk about it. Communication is an absolutely critical key to success in swinging. The _lack_ of it will undermine where you want to go with this. I strongly, strongly advise against it.

I tell it to SO if he wants to know the details except that if another partner wants privacy...i have to respect that too. As to taking pics or videos, not everyone is comfy with that so I have to respect others' feelings too. Since your "open" arrangement pertains more to nsa or casual play and not to a polyamory situation, I find it not weird at all. She should keep you in the loop. But honestly, "telling the story" of what transpired inside a bedroom when you swing separately is unreliable. The story of what transpired can be framed differently or sugar coated. It all depends if you are both brutally honest to each other in other aspects of your lives. Then you can be at peace you are getting an accurate story. It is you who knows her chatacter.

I am not enjoying groping by this dyke neighbor, but i am enjoying sex with my husband. I feel nothing special while being rubbed and touched by this weird woman , it feels as mundane as a handshake during those times for me. This groper neighbor doesn't know that my husband watches from behind the window while she is rubbing me and groping me. I am a straight woman, I love men, simple! I am straight and I am completely 100 percent straight. I have never been attracted to a woman sexually. I am STRICTLY hetero. Even the thought of eating out a vagina makes me gag. I've never had any desire to do anything sexual with a female. We(me and my husband) had an amazing sex life in the beginning of our marriage. But ten years in we hit a slump. Things that used to be great, no longer felt as good. Sex every day became sex once a month. Over the past ten years or so my husbands sex drive was super low. To the point where we had sex once every month unless I initiated it. We struggled. Our issue was never a lack of love. In every other way, we had a fantastic relationship. We just weren’t having much sex.Since this situation with this lesbo midget groper neighbor we have sex often. A couple times a day sometimes. The sex is incredible and my husband is able to make me orgasm several times in one session. It’s been two months since this started. Our sex life is better today than ever before. Our communication skills are better too. We are both very secure in our marriage. I am getting groped on my own driveway, on my own yard by this creepy repulsive neighbor while my husband watches from behind the window. And yes, I am uncomfortable, but it fuels my husband's arousal. Our sex life is great now. I always laugh uncomfortably and try to be as dismissive of the situation as possible when this short skinny woman neighbor is groping me.I try to be polite and as unaggressive as possible. I laugh, to prove that i am easy going. It seems as though this "friendly" groper neighbor targeted me from the very beginning. I am physically stronger than her. Standing next to me she looks like a midget but she was not intimidated by me. Why? My husband says that she is harmless. I admit that it's downright humiliating. I kinda feel like a weirdo for letting this woman our neighbor to touch me and grope me. Something about her and her need to grope me makes me very uncomfortable. This woman my neighbor thinks she can just walk up and feel my boobs or grab my ass when ever she feels like it!! She feels entitled to touch, squeeze or jiggle my breasts and to rub and slap my ass. I sacrifice my dignity for our sex life.

We are bareback only. Semen is welcome internally at all times. Exchanging body fluids gets two thumbs up from us! We chose our partners carefully in our mind. We understand what we are doing. On a side note: We would never consider a condom a reason to play with someone we had not screened or if he/she made an off hand remark about their sexual health. In other words, if you use a condom "just in case" or "just to be sure"; then you are having risky sex. If you always use a condom but decline to screen because you think the condom is good enough, you are having risky sex. Both sides of this question are open to criticism! On a lighter note, regardless how you play, don't stop!

Good for you. And why not? Nearly everything in life has a risk. You could be run over by a bus just crossing the street.