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First off, it is not anyone's business but yours. we have no idea how many partners either of us have had. We enjoy sex and we like to play. We have been married 26 years and make love to only one person. For us, that is all that matter.

Don’t laugh I saw an advertisement for vaginal rejuvenation and I did research. I thought it was for women older than me, women who have lost tightness but there are other things that can be done. You can get your labia cut back, the thing I was thinking of but I read it can make you dry and also accentuate the clitoris, something I didn’t want. You can also have the skin or hood over the clit reduced. I didn’t want my clitoris to always stick out. My husband thinks I’m crazy but I needed other opinions. I mentioned we have a friend, my husband’s friend, who I can talk openly with. Other than my husband he has spent more time down there than any other person, especially in the last year. He said the extra skin is sexy and a large clitoris is a big plus. A girl from school who I had been with a few times, who I think has a beautiful one, I know I sound like a guy now, said mine was fine. Yes I asked her. She asked me why I would want a smaller clit and asked if it hurt during sex, because she loves rubbing hers and I said it actually feels great during sex. So no rejuvenation and I have what I have. Happy Thanksgiving everyone and stay safe.

Same for me/us except for a shower and some antibacterial soap.

While I agree that there are slutty acts, society labels promiscuous behavior as slutty. The thing that made me laugh as I read that was that I do not have a lot of "absolute no's" in my sexual library, I've tried most things, and I have found a level of enjoyment in most activities, but I have two "not gonna happen" items on my list, and both involve things that were in my ass going in my mouth lol. I'm a hard no on that so get your blowjobs and pussy up front cause once that dick has been in my ass it ain't going anyplace but in my ass. So the anal is last no exceptions. Now I do plenty of other really slutty things though.

True it is no one’s business, butt for me I find it erotic & arousing. Especially a woman at play at a house party, just something about the number is just hot. I know for me in my younger swinging days before I got sick, I have had quite a nice high number from 25+ years of swinging as a couple & single.

I would say many people are happy and eager to accuse someone of being a slut, no matter the number. This term has been weaponized for so long that it seems to have lost most of its punch power anyhow. Luckily, it seems to me that cultural norms are shifting away from these mindsets. As far as considering someone for play or not, the explanatory power of numbers has little if any utility to me. They tend to give little insight into who a person is, and are highly flawed when it comes to predicting the quality or lack of quality an interaction is going to have. If a connection towards someone arises within me, it is there, high numbers or not. Nice pillow! :)

I think if you love someone you want to see them happy, I love watching my husband suck a dick, it does it for me.

This is so true!!! Attitude is the most important thing in life, and that's especially true in swinging! There is nothing more unattractive, male or female, than a moaning groaning griping bitching about this or that negative Debbie/Doug Downer.

I agree I have been called a slut since I was 13 and it has definitely lost its sting. And thanks this is my "hit them in the face with the obvious" pillow. ??

Well shit that ratio sucks

I've never asked how many men a woman has been with. I'm not sure there is a number that would be shocking. I would assume if the topic came up and a woman said "300" or "1,000". I'd assume she was in the lifestyle. To me, a more "shocking" number would be 1-5 for a woman in mid-life (30, 40 or so). My ex wife has been with 3 and she's nearly 40. She didn't date much and was focused elsewhere while in college. Then we married. Though the numbers were low, there was an explanation that made sense. I figure

Patrick, I think you're saying that at different times we find we like different things. I totally agree with you.

In a world where attraction can change at the drop of a hat, what is the point in solidifying a view within the now? The most unexpected things often exert the strongest pull on me. Maybe that complex is similar for others too.

Great job you badgered her into not wanting to fulfill her fantasy. I'm gonna come right out and say it, you fucked up. You had a rule, you do not fuck the girl. But then you beg to fuck the girl. So she feels guilty and gives in. But she knew herself when she created the rule. She said no sex between you and the girl because she would be jealous and you would treat the new girl better than her. And thats exactly what happened. You straight up screwed up. If you keep pushing this you will just be pushing her farther away from this. You either let her have alone time with the girl, no shows no sex but you have the fantasy, and maybe you eventually get the shows back. Or you let it go and she doesn't date women just you.

I do enjoy a good glory hole, I like not knowing who the dick belongs to. I did a glory hole at a bachelor party in my early 20s. They set it up out by the pool, it was a box I was paid to get in it for the night and take care of the cock that showed up. It was insanely hot. I was in there for about 3 hours before some one begged me to come out. I was a hot mess, so I dove in the pool to get the sticky off..

So I used to dance for a living, mostly naked and on a stage, but I got a lot of offers to do bachelor parties. One guy offered 4 other dancers and I $5,000 a piece to go with them to a shore house for a bachelors weekend. On the first night we performed and then the bachelor tipped me nicely and took me to his bedroom, and I fucked him. He came inside me so I went to go get my clothes which were still in the living room and then clean up but his brother caught me and asked me to join him. He tipped me and I said I just needed to clean up but he said it didn't matter and I fucked him. This happened two more times before I got back to my panties. It was running down my leg before I got in a shower.

People who ask for numbers are just seeking out ways to label a woman. If a woman has a small number she is chaste, but if she has more than ten she is a slut, whore or a hooker. Its BS. I've slept with a lot, definitely triple digits so I do not discuss it.

Jessica: You still got it...it's an attitude more than anything.

I grew up around a lot of sex and a little rough so I tend to not care what others think. I am sure I am an outlier in this. I think its important to demystify the end result, which is why I say whats the worst that could happen. Good luck I hope they wanna swing with you.

I was a stripper in a strip club from age 18 to 27, and it is a huge rush putting yourself on display like that. I got a huge charge from doing it. Now conversely I do not really like an audience while having sex, but I will get naked at the drop of a hat. I think I still got it, even though I'm a 30 something.

She also told you that she didn’t want you to have intercourse with the other women, but that has changed in the middle of play and caused jealousy on her part! It doesn’t sound like you two have the communication part of this lifestyle down very well and without it there are only going to be problems a long the way. If it really is about her and her bi sexuality then let it be about that. She sets the rules and you follow them. If that is not what it is really about then maybe it is time to be honest with each other about what it is. If you can’t find a common ground then you might want to step away from the extra play and just work on each other and the relationship that is supposed to matter the most.

In the old days of me trolling for women to fuck my husband, I would have started a conversation with her, letting her know that he is mine, does as I say, and I share.

Our friend dates, he has even dated my best friend. Our relationship is simple and complicated. He is my husband’s best friend and I wasn’t on board when he suggested bringing him into our bed. My preference was bringing my friends to play with. Being with two men was not something I looked for. My sex with this friend is more fun sex than romantic sex. I love him as a great friend, way different than the way I love my husband. I have had sex with him and his dates, including my girlfriend. He is there to keep me company while my husband travels. We are very comfortable in front of one another. He tells me things about his life including his dates.

i love seeing her riding a nice looking cock. Love to eat her pussy and give his shaft and balls a little attention as well.

I told him his junk was fine. His scrotum is pretty big and though I find it as a plus he claims he doesn’t like it. I think he does and he’s proud of it but he claims it’s not comfortable. My sex with this friend is totally different than the sex I have with others. He’s a real close friend of ours and the only male I am with alone. I talk to him as if he was a girlfriend. Make no mistake, he is all man.

Strate, What you've run into, is a couple who hasn't learned all the terminology yet. There are more than 2 stages of BI. BI BI-Curious Aggressive BI Passive BI Many people confuse Passive Bi with BI-Curious. Passive Bi people will state they are Bi-curious. When in all actuality, they are Bi, but very picky about who they are with, and who is the dominate partner. Much like gay males. You have a top (aggressive) and a bottom (passive). Passives generally seek out aggressives. While aggressives will seek both. Short answer, they're bi. They just don't persue women as aggressively as others do.

Although 'slut' is not a derogatory term as far as we're concerned, why don't people label men as "sluts" if they've had a high number of conquests?

Oh believe me they are strongly enforced. The charges never stick and are usually thrown out.... but not before the local media publishes every last detail and names. Idaho legislation is primarily LDS. And we have a saying here: if you go fishing you have to take 2 Mormons with you because if you take just one he is gonna drink all your beer. You can always tell their profiles on SLS: they live in Idaho but their respective spouse "doesn't" swing. Plus they can't host and they are willing to travel. We rarely use the same venue for a meet and greet twice in a row. And we make sure that they think we are a group that works together. No one is EVER invited to well.... anything unless you have been vetted 1st. The Idaho ag office spent millions trying to overturn same sex marriages. Most counties won't issue license anyway. Remember this is the state that an oz of weed or hemp gets you an automatic 20 year prison sentence and a $50,000 fine.