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There's a ton of virtue signaling in the lifestyle. I guarantee many of the couples at NIN have previously posted online how they test every 3 months, thoroughly vet new play partners, only play with condoms, and would block any couple who even mentions going bareback. The lifestyle is ruled by swingers hormones, which explains why what you read online in swingers forums doesn't always jive with what you see in the clubs and at parties.

We know many people have gone the Facebook route for lifestyle connections, but there is no chance we ever will. Nothing is safe on Facebook. It is a place to go when you want everyone to know what is going on in your life. We don’t.

Facebook is evil. While Ms Gold is very active on it, I only have an account for people looking to find me on it. I never post and only rarely like anything...and still I get suggestions of people who I know, but Facebook shouldn't know I know them. If you the website isn't trying to sell you something, then YOU are the product it is selling (your data).

I had always thought of myself as straight and then in my 40's. I started thinking that some erections were sexy. I had dreams that I was sucking one. I'd wake up fully erect. During one of those dreams, my girl friend said that I was going wild and wanted to know what I was dreaming. I told her. She was so excited and we made plans for the first time I would do it and she would watch. She wanted to pick the guy. I told her that he had to have an attractive penis. She got hot with my description of what I need in a penis. Three nights later it happened. I was just looking at the man's dick as he got undressed my girl friend was on the sofa stripped and giving me words of encouragement. I slid down off the corner of the bed and took his beautiful 6 inch dick in my hand. I was nervous. This was really going to happen. I ran my lips and tongue on the under side. Then I got a wiff of his nuts and I new I was going to be doing this more than once. I will never forget how it felt parting my lips the first time and the stroking in my mouth and throat. I found out that I am good at deepthroating. My girlfriend got off the sofa to get me undressed. She was glad to see that I was fully erect. She wanted to see us 69. I was surprised how much I liked it. We both came in the back of our throats and he left soon after. My girlfriend wanted me to enjoy the experience with out her participating. But after that time, we would share. I am addicted to good looking dick. I'm bi now.

I agree that most women in the lifestyle are not bi (and I have some lesbian friends who swear to that). I believe most do it for show. A friend (in the lifestyle) was married to a man who was constantly pushing her to do things. First other women, than more than one guy at a time, then anal, etc. She found a man in the lifestyle who respected her and left her husband for him.

Welcome to the club. Your official T shirt and membership card will be in the mail. Congrats on having a relationship great enough for you both to be able to experience this together!

I think it is a normal thought to wonder how you match up. Our first was with good friends. The wives are best friends and my wife approached me to join the friends who were already swingers. My first thought was why would she want to do this, was I not satisfying her? I even wondered if she had already joined them behind my back. I still wonder about that even if it most likely didn’t happen. When my wife was entered I secretly wanted it to be fast without her cumming. When that didn’t happen and I heard her being even louder I too was worried about my own play with her. Was I not giving her the best and now she was finally having great sex. I can’t say all men have self doubts or if anybody had the same feelings as me. I have since learned to enjoy her time with others. I hope she is having the greatest sex, not every man can be the best. If she is enjoying it better I am happy for her. I try not to compare my new partners to my wife as sex partners. As someone else once wrote, we do go to restaurants because the food tastes better there and we enjoy new things we can’t do at home.

The swinger outbreak is a punch line on late night shows. As if swinging needed bad publicity. Truly crazy idea by the organizer and attendees. How can you have a safe group swinging event in a pandemic. Perfect storm. Imagine this group’s ideas on STDs?

I think it comes down to sexual confidence. As others have said we don't have as many hang ups. So for instance in my early twenties I didn't swallow, or do butt stuff. But in my late 30s I swallow all the time, and I definitely do butt stuff.

So said the Nobel laureate. And from which the radical 60s group took its name.

Like lcmim, I too have a fake Facebook account, with education, hometown, jobs, etc, etc. I haven't received any friend suggestions from Facebook because I do nothing when I'm logged in there. No other browser windows are open, no cookies exist, no cache exists, I log on and log off and close the browser before I do anything else on my laptop. I'm basically a phantom every time I'm in a browser anyway so Facebook has nothing to find. I actually get some suggestions related to my education, job history and places I lived. None of which is true. We haven't looked at any FB groups for swinging because of the chance of blending the lifestyle with any real info. The number of data points collected by Facebook is beyond belief, thus I wouldn't want to open up the chance that the lifestyle world ends up in a file with real information. And to those who aren't up to speed, ANY website with a Facebook link (a 'like' button, an email link, etc) is tracked and collected by Facebook. The vast majority of websites make money by selling your information to Facebook. You can hide from Facebook somewhat, but not completely.

Totally understand the concerns with LD crossing paths with vanilla bc of FB. We too turned off all options to connect us with contacts. Had one scare. Did some googling and found out there were more back door gateways that could be closed. Just had to been done on a PC. Since then we haven't had any cross over. We haven't tried SLS or any of the other swininger dedicated sites. It does seem to be very convenient with FB though. You post and someone starts a conversation with you... or you start a conversation on someone else's post. Easily transfer conversation to messanger then go from there. Yes, FB has a lot of rules of what can and cannot be posted. But, those rules do not apply in messenger. Both groups we are in cannot be found via search. Invite only and admins have to approve it. Was just curious if anyone else has tried it that way. On a side note....we have almost completely abandoned our regular profiles. ???

Add me to the list. Part because of privacy, part because I have zero interest in 99.99% of what's on Facebook. The whole "ocean wide and millimeter deep" type content and interactions on there just not my thing. Mrs. cplnuswing is on there however just for the keeping up with family/friends although at times she questions whether it's still worth putting up with the rest of the Facebook mess or not. We've always just been on SLS and have had good luck finding couples with it, so have never seen a reason to try to bring Facebook into the mix. We keep high fences between our vanilla and swinging lives, and Facebook would be a big hole in that. Bottom line is I don't trust Facebook; never have, never will.

For me the scariest swinging experience was the first time we met a couple together. We had lived a don’t tell, don’t ask sexual life. She had affairs, I had affairs and after years of turning away we decided to meet a couple together. We were very fortunate that we met the perfect couple who understood we were newbies. Regardless of everything going perfectly well I was still scared shitless watching my wife. The other couple went as slow as we wanted, starting with the wife trying to loosen up my wife, something my wife never did. That part didn’t go as I planned, my wife wasn’t interested. From there we decided that we would go the next step. Watching my wife be the aggressor with a new partner was very scary for me. She totally blanked me out. It made me wonder how many men she had done this with. I wasn’t mad, it just made me wonder. For the first time I wondered how I matched up to her other partners.

Whenever it is hubby, Red and me in an MFM, Red always goes first because he likes me "fresh" while hubby likes going second because he can enjoy the show with me and Red in his pre-orgasm excited state rather than watching after he's released. This comment made me realize, however that in going second, hubby always flips me from my position with Red to the opposite position, doggy or missionary. I need to ask him why. Probably has something to do with quantum mechanics, those two must be Fermions.

I've never had that done to me and certainly have never done it, turns me off. But I do like a finger lubed up and gently in my bum. Guys do, and I'll let him in if he's nice to me, but on its own anal doesn't get me off, so it's either first round in my vagina or lick me good before or after. Or before and after. Or DP. Have you done that? Do you take front or back?

No, you are not over thinking. It is 100% how the woman presents. The Mrs here loves to suck cock, and loves to suck a new cock. She adamantly is not a "slut" she just likes sex. To her, the term is pejorative.

We met several Eagle fans after a football game who were staying at a nice hotel near the Meadowlands. Maybe I should have been smarter, they were a little drunk most likely drinking all game and still drinking after the game. On top of trying to show off they were nasty to Michael who was just trying to tell them to go slow and be calm. I slowed things up by saying I needed the bathroom and when I came out totally naked and asked who wants to eat pussy. They finally started to behave and we all had good laughs.

I have never understood the amount of people in the lifestyle that are homophobic. I had one lady say they wouldn't play with a bi guy because she didn't want him checking out her man's butt ?. We know several LS couples where the guy is at least bi curious. But it's almost an instant "pass" for most other couples if you identify as bi or bi curious. While I am straight, I never say never. And with a couple of drinks and under the right circumstance.....who knows?

Life is a journey of self discovery. No one gets to tell you when you are done with that journey. She is Bicurious till she decides she is something else. First there is a big difference mentally between being curious about something and being something. Being Bicurious is harmless, guys dream of it. Being Bisexual comes with certain social stigmas, and maybe they aren't ready to say that word out loud. Maybe they aren't Bisexual at all and are just playing a part to placate a controlling spouse. That happens a lot. Maybe they were raised super religious and told that being gay was a disgusting sin against God and they would burn in hell forever for acting on those desires. Maybe when she was twelve she got caught kissing Kristen Gilkey during a sleepover and her mom grabbed a belt and whipped her so bad she couldn't sit for three days, and still has scars on her legs to this day. We were just practicing. So Cut her some slack, they are trying to come to terms with their own sexuality and honestly it doesn't affect you at all.

Shortly after we moved to Florida (summer 2006) we were contacted by a couple on sls. The age was right and they lived close by. The husband even opened their private pictures. Turns out that their definition of h/w/p was way different from ours so we replied that we weren't a match and wished them well. I then received a number of additional emails that got progressively more obscene and confrontational. The last one described the front of our home and our Bassett hound and he stated that my wife was fat and he'd maybe stop by one day just to meet her. I replied that we usually had 3-somes, me, Mrs Doc and our good friend Mr Glock. I told him he was welcome to stop by anytime, Mr Glock would welcome him. Then I blocked him. This was the photo in which he described Mrs Doc as a fat bitch. Go figure!!