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I think people get labeled snobs for the way they interact with others, not because they are selective. There is nothing wrong with being selective about who you choose to have sex with.. however, there is something very off-putting about people that are rude or unnecessarily mean or cruel to people they believe are beneath their standards or social status. Nice people are rarely labeled snobs.

Did I read the OP correctly? Your a married female, HE has a milestone birthday coming up and you want to set up a threesome...but you wouldn't be comfortable with another woman. So you want to give your husband a MFM threesome for HIS birthday? Sounds like a birthday present for you, not him. I agree with everyone else, unless you two can talk about whether you're into bringing a third, I would highly recommend you get him a nice bottle of whiskey for his milestone.

Wow, I wish I bumped into you while I was in college. I spent every birthday and New Year's alone back then. I was probably a "nerdy" guy But I digress.... I've been known to buy lunch, dinner and coffee for cops when I see them. For anyone who has ever worn a uniform, especially in a big city that hates police, these small gestures go a long way. Imagine going from a domestic call when the husband is gone, wife beat unrecognizable, then off to a traffic stop where the driver spits at you as soon as you're in range, to a brawl at a night club where the participants decide to attack you upon arrival, to a traffic accident where someone is dying in front of you...having someone buy you a Subway sandwich or burger breaks up the night. And years ago when layaway was big I used to randomly pay off bills.

I think it depends on how you're approaching your selection of play partners. Appearance doesn't mean fit and healthy. That's where people drift towards 'snob' I think. I know many people who look like fitness models but have a terrible diet, drink excessively and never exercise. I also know people who work out 4-5 times a week and watch what they eat...but you wouldn't know it by looking at them. Your body type is your body type. Some people don't have to put in much effort to stay thin. Others put in a lot of effort and always look overweight/heavy. Not everyone can look like the cover of a magazine simply by working out and eating right. Some people have a body type that stays lean and muscular while others have a softer look regardless of how much they exercise and perfect their diet. So the OP states "People that care about their health and show it in their appearance are much more appealing to us now and people that clearly don’t just are not our thing." The problem with that statement is that not everyone who is thin cares about their health, and not everyone who is not thin doesn't care about their health.

I was hesitant, nervous, high. My idea or his idea we needed to be sure and being during a pandemic was the cherry on the hesitancy. Finding the right couple for our first experience was my homework answering and asking questions of potential couples. Deciding on authenticity of couples was step one, step two was finding someone who was normal and being the woman I had to dance around way to pushy men. I think by the time we met someone being territorial was the thought that didn’t come into play.

Serious conversation about swinging started during lockdown which was the worst time ever. We were having groceries delivered to us and we wiped every item that came into our house. What started as fun talk became serious over time and we joked about every type of sexual deviance and then decided it’s not deviant if we both can agree and it doesn’t hurt anyone. Working from home gave us much together time and opening up with things we never talked about.

Do you already have experience with swinging? Or is this a new idea for you? If you are experienced share your experience. If you aren't tell us what experiences you'd like to have.

When I'm on the prowl I usually have things I look for in a guy, I like fit guys, and I like tall guys, but I usually look for intelligent guys, and funny guys, especially sarcasm. Someone I want to be around. But I have long believed that everyone should get to have sex on their birthday, this goes all the way back to High School when one of my nerdy friends was being teased on his birthday for being a virgin. I fixed it for him and was pleasantly surprised with a bigger dick than I had expected. Since then, when I'm out and I run into someone that is having a Birthday, I usually buy them a drink, and if they are alone I'll be friendly and sociable. On more than a few occasions, If in normal conversation, it comes out that they are going home alone and don't have a significant other, I have been known to offer up a sex filled evening as a possible option. A good number of my offers have been accepted. There are always exceptions, if they are assholes or gross I pass. But if they are a normal person that is basically a decent human being, I make an effort to be nice to them. I don't go looking for Birthday boys, but when I see them I stop, it usually happens a few times a year. It happened more when I was an exotic dancer, as guys go to strip clubs on their birthdays, but I still have the same philosophy. If it is your birthday, I'm probably gonna buy you a drink, I'm probably gonna be really nice to you, and I'm probably on the menu if you're into it. I call it my good deed to make the world a little less sucky. Its one of the ways I pay it forward. So do you guys have anything like this, something that awakens that soft spot in your heart? What's your good deed to make the world a better place? How do you pay it forward?

Totally agree with MrMrsSwinger. Just because someone exercises doesn't mean they look like they do. And just because someone looks like they're in great shape doesn't mean they are. In college I was 6'0 175. I spent the majority of my time in motion - played college sports (basketball and baseball), worked out 7 days a week with team trainers creating custom workouts, ate reasonably well...and I never had abs. I had a flat stomach, don't get me wrong, but some of my teammates were ripped like the airbrushed guys you see on Men's Health and Muscle & Fitness magazine. My dad is pretty thin. As an old man now, he carries all his fat on his stomach. Any extra weight I have now, right on the stomach. I don't drink. I still workout 5+ days a week yet time adds a few pounds....and it all keeps my abs warm. So yes, people have their types. That's fine. The OP states that "everyone can get fit and healthy", very true. But not everyone that is thin falls into that category. Just as everyone who is heavier than average is not fit and healthy.

Can we get back in touch with you in April...?

Anything involving Consensual Non-Monogamy. Must be both.

I'd say any type of positive change has to start from a place of owning your reality and stop making excuses. You call yourself big boned, but according to national health standards on BMI. A BMI of between 18.5 and 24.9 is ideal. A BMI of between 25 and 29.9 is overweight. A BMI over 30 indicates obesity. A healthy weight for you is 173 lbs. At 250 lbs, According to a standard BMI calculator you are at a BMI of 35. That is not big boned it is obese. Recognize it and take control of it, because it is not a healthy weight for you. Saying you are big boned means you can't fix it, and your a victim of circumstance. But you can fix obesity. I'm Not saying it'll be easy but you can change your situation. If you got serious, like really serious, you could be at 200 lbs in 4 to 6 months. At 200 lbs you'd still have work to do, but you'd probably see more action for you and your wife. Good luck.

As Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart wrote in an obscenity case: I shall not today attempt further to define ["The Lifestyle"]. But I know it when I see it... Also, the saying of anonymous origins, "I don't know much about art (the Lifestyle), but I know what I like."

We would never meet Eagle fans or Red Sox fans. Now I have a new question I have to ask when being contacted.

Prior to our first meeting we were both completely new. Our first real conversation came during the pandemic and was talk to make being home together 24/7 interesting. I don’t think either of us thought we would act out on fun talk.

It also sounds like a good way to get an eye full of Cum which is why I started sucking them down in the beginning lol. I never worried about trying to get him to cum outside and the negative outcomes since I prefer it in me and not on me. Guys like it even better when I make a show of rolling their semen around in my mouth and displaying it on my tongue before the big swallow. That never appealed to me, the injecting of semen right down my throat. I've done it a couple of times, but no more (see above).

I approach any question about men by looking for the simplest, most basic answer. For this question is the same as it is for why men try to force their wives to golf, or boat, or hunt or fish or become interested in some machine (cars, computers) - because they are like little kids and want to foist their interests on their friends and family. Men like pussy and tits, so they want their wife to like them as well. Fortunately for me, I like women sexually, so it's not a problem playing that way.

I/we started our non-monogamous lifestyle in our early twenties before we got married, although there was plenty of sex, it was with few partners/couples and we have ended up forming a poly family. Now ten years later, I would say that we were unsophisticated and naïve, but have become our parents (with careers, house, kids) except having more sex.

The fact that sex exists and is pleasurable beyond menopause is proof that God wants us to use and enjoy that aspect of our physical beings.

Menopause has been the biggest underlying reason that allowed us to even discuss swinging. My peri menopause began just shy of my 45th birthday. I knew my older sister started early and my mother did too. I was very open with my doctor with all of my symptoms, missed periods, flashes, and lubrications. I feared loss of wanting sex and I like saying I became more sexually involved with my body. My husband was very excited with me wanting more not less, we were ordering more sex toys along with all types of lubrications. I’m sure our mailman had to be thinking I was a freak. You need to have discussions, your wife needs to be open with her gynecologist, as she can prescribe medications that help. Show your wife you understand, don’t blame, don’t argue over sex. If she needs lubrication, oral sex is a great start, flavored gels, toys and female oriented porn. My husband always thought pleasing me was important, he was even more patient as I went through the menopause journey, and with going on vacation is not an option currently, we have both been on this journey together.

Finding men for a MFM (and I've said it before) is easier than finding a cheeseburger at McD's...can't throw a rock without hitting one. Finding RESPECTFUL men, well, that's like finding the $1 cheeseburger at McD's (at least in our area...just when did the Happy Meal price go over $5?). Not quite as many other there. The good news is you can just block the bad ones and keep looking. It's a numbers game, you just need to keep crunching the numbers until you find exactly what you want (and with so many other there, you should be able to find an exact match if you keep looking and don't compromise on what you are looking for). As for finding someone to talk with on the board, pick anyone who responded to this thread, I think they would be happy to talk.

Seasoned?

Idk I love being a single swinger, less attachments. As long as I get invites I never feel the need to have romantic relationships. Who knows, I might have a change of heart years down the line.

Hi and thank you for your reply .. we actually have a profile out there and it is tastefully done , no trouble attracting men tho the biggest percentage are rather disrespectful in that they have no interest in being friends .. we are hoping for friends as well as sexual partners . I was wondering more about the dynamics of others relationships, is it a hotwife scene or cuck or ?? Ours is leaning towards hotwife on occasions but mainly just mfm threesomes ...

He most definitely makes my kitty purrrrrr. He also makes her pretty fucking wet. Like rivers in my panties.

We met several Eagle fans after a football game who were staying at a nice hotel near the Meadowlands. Maybe I should have been smarter, they were a little drunk most likely drinking all game and still drinking after the game. On top of trying to show off they were nasty to Michael who was just trying to tell them to go slow and be calm. I slowed things up by saying I needed the bathroom and when I came out totally naked and asked who wants to eat pussy. They finally started to behave and we all had good laughs.

Um yeah. I agree. Don't do that I am of the opinion that you guys need to talk first..... sitting across from each other at the kitchen table type of talk. NOT pillow talk! To be really successful in an open relationship you both have to realize that you need to give up the last thing that you could have kept secret, your sexual fantasies as well as your reaction to them. Swinging can be the greatest thing the two of you can share. Or it can burn your marriage to the ground. In many cases it's the man who brings up the idea (not in our case lol) but there are tons of articles written about how to propose swinging to your partner.

I think if you love someone you want to see them happy, I love watching my husband suck a dick, it does it for me.

To you something isn't right or there's something wrong with the man. Where it is written that a man (or a woman) HAS to get married/be married or have a girlfriend/boyfriend to be happy and well adjusted? Being married or having a girlfriend/boyfriend does not make you a better or more adjusted person than someone who is single. I just don't understand what's so wrong with someone choosing to remain single and wanting to have an adventurous sex life that includes group sex. Yes, single men (and women) probably can and do have an easier time getting laid in the vanilla world but...if their kink/preference/whatever you want to call it leans toward group sex where do they go in the vanilla world to find that? To me, it seems that swinging is the perfect answer for those who like being single but enjoy group sex. Single men have always been apart of swinging, they always will be. For couples: If you don't want to play with them...simple, don't. If they contact you off an ad site/IM/e-mail...simple, ignore them. If they approach you at a club/social/house party...simple, say no thank you we don't play with single men. For single men: Read the couple's profile, if they don't play with singles...don't contact them. If you approach a couple at a club/social/house party...ask politely if they play with singles and if they don't, say thank you and move on. There are people who are single who are jerks and there are people who are part of a couple who are jerks...martial status is not a determining factor in that equation. Teresa

I was one of those "never in a million years," until a fairly recent encounter with a couple I had known for some time. She wanted to see her husband and I do oral on each other. We did. She loved it, a lot. Turns out we did too. Partly for what it was and partly because of her enthusiastic enjoyment. I don't feel any different about me or them. It was simply another one of those very memorable things that can happen in this lifestyle.

Hubby and I are just now talking about the whole bi male experience and the more we talk and the more we see, I am totally turned on about the idea. We are looking for our first experience. Hopefully soon.

I don't have a partner right now, but I think bi men ARE hot. I've never seen two men together except in movies and photos but that's been enough to get me wet. I'd love to see it in person, maybe participate. Because I'm the "elusive bi fem" (unpartnered), I think it would be a while before that happened. I certainly wouldn't feel comfortable with two guys I didn't know or didn't know very well.

So I did a threesome with a couple that fancied themselves Vampires. They were attractive and we had a normal night, in hind sight they talked about the Ann Rice books to an obsessive level, but I like Harry Potter books so I couldnt talk. Anyways, everything was pretty normal till we hit the bedroom and started getting naked, as soon as my panties hit the floor, it was then that they started biting me, Hard, really hard, it hurt a lot and I jumped and jokingly said no no. But then they started hissing and pushed me down and started biting me even harder. I have had people nibble and nip my nipples and stuff before, I'm not a fan but can handle it, and I understand the allure. Its not for me though I'm not a pleasure from pain type of gal. This was something completely different, these guys were actually biting me with the intent of breaking my skin and sucking my blood. It freaked me out. They bit my neck, shoulders, boobs, stomach, and thighs. I kicked him back and he fell off the bed,, I jumped up, I ran out grabbed my coat and keys and ran straight out the front door, I was completely naked under the coat and had left all my clothes. They tried to stop me when they heard the front door open but they were naked too. I was in my car and pulling away when he finally ran outside wearing just his pants. He actually jumped in his car and tried to chase me down but I pulled in a police dept parking lot and xalled for a cop in the parking lot, he kept driving by. I showed the cop the bite marks and they took me in to take a statement.. It scared me because I don't know where they would have stopped, would they have tried to drink me dry, or did they just like biting and pretending? I had deep purple and black bruises all over my body, my thighs and neck. It was an awkward couple of weeks waiting for them to go away, and pretty traumatic, today if anyone even tries to put their teeth on me a little I flip.