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When one of my college roommates was a teenager, his family stayed in a hotel in the Catskill Mountains of NY. Used to be a popular resort before cheap airfares to warmer climes. Two young women asked my friend if he wanted to watch them engage in lesbian activities. Scared and knowing it was immoral and wrong, he declined. My friend reported this incident to his father, expecting praise for his restraint and moral compass. Instead his father said “Are you an idiot? That was the opportunity of a lifetime!”

My wife and I did a few gang bangs back in the day and enjoyed them. We were, I think, outrageously fortunate in our swingers club at the time. Almost without exception, the men involved were always polite, courteous, and respectful. We actually made a kind of standard practice of it... we would go the club, mingle, dance and relax. When we were ready head into the play area and set up in a spot where there were some comfortable couches and chairs and a TV playing porn. My wife would take some things (or everything) off and get frisky and eventually someone would ask if they could join in. We'd move to a "public play" area and she would "put on a show" encouraging audience participation. We usually had 3-5 guys join in... though I recall on evening I lost count when we topped 10 (that was the most we ever did). I vividly recall one gentleman, and I use the word deliberately, who was sitting next to me watching my wife with two other men. He asked me, very politely, if there was any chance he could touch her. I recall smiling and telling him to ask her, which he did when she was free. He was genuinely grateful. Good times

My wife is a totally hot Brunette. I just love the idea of watching a couple of guys spit-roasting her on all fours. Is that weird?

Well . . . It seems to me that when a couple in their thirties or forties writes suggesting that they want to get into swinging, but are having troubles wrapping their heads around it. We counsel them that we are taught as children that sex outside of marriage is bad, terrible, immoral, and that it takes some time to reorient themselves. It seems that NJBM's story is about a young person who ran into that barrier.

Sigh, yes this is the typical critique of many, if not most, single males. You have to thicken your skin and just ignore them. We wish you guys the best of luck, the Hotwife tradition can be a ton of fun.

That's how we started. That's where we ended up. Somehow, that's what we both preferred.

This an old thing, nothing to do with swinging I was in HS when a teammate I was good friends with asked if I wanted to fuck this certain girl who was home from college. She asked him to ask me. I thought he was full of shit and he said really. She had fucked plenty and it was just her thing. How could I turn that down so we made plans to go to her house after her parents went to work. I knew who she was only through other guys. She said she knew me and heard stories. I can’t imagine who she heard from and what she heard. I wasn’t comfortable her and being nude with my friend. I remember being afraid of some disease also. She controlled both of us and we just went along. She knew what she wanted and I had no idea how we were going to work it out. Somehow we managed and I busted a nut in a minute. Most likely she wanted more than that.

I think the hostess is knitting a shawl with everyone’s names

She probably just had a decent home life as a child, I on the other hand grew up rough and had a very early and rough introduction to sex and how a woman could control a man. Couple that with a desire to get positive feedback from men in my life, since I never knew my father, and you get a woman that didn't have a very high sense of self worth so I generally gave my body away fairly freely, probably too freely.

She clearly enjoys it and I love to see her enjoy herself.

It's very visual, quite easy to see. And, for some men, perhaps it's less threatening. If my wife wants to suck a guy, and she often does, it's fine by me. I like to look at the way she's handling it as it's in her mouth, the look on the guy's face as she's giving him oral sex. If she chooses to let him come in her mouth, it's funny the emotions on his face as he lets go. On the other hand, if she'd rather do other things, that's fine by me as well.

I don't know about other guys, but I like the way it looks. I think a woman sucking a man looks very sexy... and I can't really appreciate it the same way when the man is me, because the sensations of being blown distract from the visual impact. I love watching the show... which works perfectly for me because my wife loves putting on a show.

You nailed it. The whole "ranking system" is entirely a theoretical exercise; it only exists in the imagination. It's what our minds project onto the person in question. It's only after we actually meet that person when we discover if a level of genuine attraction exists or not. Unfortunately, we've met plenty of people who seemed "attractive"... until they opened their mouths. Lol... For us, it all boils down to a sensually-based, person-to-person connection. Do we like them? Are they fun and interesting? Do we feel a sensual attraction? Are they practiced in the art of seduction? Are they experienced lovers who know their way around a man or woman--or both? ? I've met some "church lady next door types" who, aside from my wife, were some of the hottest (and kinkiest!) lovers. What made them so hot? They understood what is possibly the least understood fact about the Law of Attraction: The BRAIN is the largest sex organ.

I respectfully disagree with this. Boys from the age of adolescence to old age sit around in packs and ask, "would you fuck that?" It always leads to comments like, "Hell, yeah, she's hot," to "Yeah, if you put a paper bag over her face." This is immature behavior and is a hallmark of the male persona. Nothing to do with women . . .

No Marilyn admits to being to jealous to have me with other women . I am quite content with how it’s going do it seems to be a win win for us both .

My wife didn't become promiscuous until after we got married. I like to think that she was saving it for me. ?

Nope,I think that sounds hot. Cause I also happen to be a smoking hot Brunette and I totally love the idea of being spit roasted on all fours. ????

Ugh, young people, so scared to live their lifes. I got a couple of those stories, where I still can't believe a guy turned me down on what I knew was one of his life long fantasies. In high school I had a friend tell everyone his biggest sexual fantasy during a drunken game of truth or dare, which explicitly involved me by name, then on my turn I got dared to give him his fantasy, I said ok and stood up and held my hand out too him, fully expecting him to take it so we could go to the bedroom, and he freaked out and ran away. ??? Dude told a whole room of people his most erotic fantasy was to have sex with me, I offer to fuck him, and HE RUNS AWAY! I was literally like, what the what? What just happened?

If you were young, why didn’t you go for round 2? Sounds like you were overwhelmed, which is understandable.

Reading through some old posts on here as we haven’t been here in a while . It occurs to me just what a valuable asset this site is . So much good sound advice here from friendly , non judgmental people . Especially touching seeing the late Padoc chining in with sound advice as was the norm

We know the problem with that first time meeting. We tried and tried to find someone who would fill our fantasy. Free accounts gets you what you paid for. Plenty of fakes and no shows. We went back and started with a brand new account and paid for it and still struck out. We had too many no shows leaving us with paid hotel rooms. Dinners and drinks just the two of us. Our first meeting with a couple was too easy to set up, for sure it was not going to happen. They weren’t married and the boyfriend agreed the women would play first. The pictures they sent were too good. They showed, looked like the pictures, she was sweet, he was someone we normally would have walked away from if we met them first. We learned from our early mistakes and promised ourselves to be sensitive to the needs and wants of couples we meet. Sure we want sex, not rushed sex. We like to start with girl play and we always ask if that is what they want. If agreed on Linda will put the wife at ease. She normally makes all the first moves then things just happen.

That's what we've found as well.

I'm a big fan of telling it how it is... I'd say exactly what you said to us here. Introduce yourself, HI I'm Jane and this is my husband John, we're both a bit shy and unsure how to get things rolling, how do you do it? I tell you now if someone said that to me I'd wanna help them have the best night of their lives. If I wasn't personally looking to play with you my husband and I would be your wing couple till we found you a match. My husband is also shy, but I am the most outgoing woman you've ever met, I am good at pairing up a room.