"Give yourself permission to NOT have sex." Superb advice, and not just for novices.
To say it in a different way: Give yourself permission to feel whatever it is that you are feeling in the moment, without expectations or value judgements.
In fact, this notion is the very foundation of our "lifestyle" activities. We try (usually successfully) to avoid embarking on new relationships while carrying the baggage of high expectations. Over time, we learned that setting out with big expectations only set us up for disappointments--either in ourselves or in a prospective lifestyle partners.
Our singular goal is to have fun--in whatever form that takes. If the "fun" is just meeting interesting and enjoyable people with no physical attraction between us? Great. That's still a "win" to us.
On the other hand, if we determine we are mutually physically attracted, we simply let things naturally progress--and without any kind of time limit. We may take several more get togethers before we're feeling ready for any sexual activities. And we always start out SLOWLY. Usually, we will begin with some same room sex, then move on from there.
Also, we've found that having a comfortable and relaxed environment promotes better outcomes. For that reason, we like to entertain at home or in spaces and locations with which we are very familiar.
Anyway, this is what works for us ? Your mileage may vary.
Stay in touch.