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Just block him . . . If you run into him at a club, ignore him.

I was never looking for another M, it was my husband who wanted me to have company when he was away. It is a very good friend that kept me busy and we built up a special thing. Not a love thing at all just a special thing. I can definitely say nothing romantic because it has already been long term. I also didn’t want my gf involved in my crazy world and now we are more like sister close even if she always was. We have all played together, four of us, and plenty of fun when we do yet one on one for me is so different.

Nothing compares with the first man we met and I was alone with while my husband was alone with his wife. Over the years we have been with them over a dozen times and it still excites me just in planning our meetings. We have been with others that have been fun to be with and still I find that first lover the most exciting. There is a new energy with new partners which is exciting and I have enjoyed those experiences, just not the way that first experience did. At first I didn’t want any new experiences as I was content waiting for the next time with the original couple and we discussed if we should expand our adventure. I was completely negative regarding me playing with another woman as it upset me when it was pushed. I needed to explore that scenario on my own terms, I never wanted it to be exhibitionist play for others to gawk at me, including my husband. I did have that new energy alone with another woman with no pressure put upon me to do things. With no pressure I explored and enjoyed in a much different way from being in a couple scene or being alone with her husband.

IMO you are leading him on, I know you are trying to be nice. But you know this is heading for a crash and burn. Just by what you have said I really think you already know that. We really don't have many rules. But the one we we follow religiously is if one of us doesn't like it for whatever reason. It stops then and there. No playing, no texting, sexting or communication. I don't mean that we pretend it didn't happen we will probably talk it to death between each other. IMO you need to block, ignore and cut off this person entirely. You are going to destroy your relationship. We have run into people in our group that one of us can't stand for some reason. And we respect that opinion. Even if we don't agree. We just ignore them. For us this is something fun (ok and naughty) for us to do. If one is uncomfortable then both of us are.

Going into this you both KNEW it was NSA, but at some point, HE forgot this and attached strings. Him coming back 'pleading' should have told you this. Saw this coming a mile away. Our partners usually want us to be happy and so, unless the lines of communication are completely open, they have the tendency to say what we want to hear instead of what they want to say. Just a reminder for all of us, OUR PARTNER COMES FIRST, ALWAYS. Also, if this was truly just a FWB on your side, you wouldn't keep talking with him as well. You also have some feelings for him and he knows that. Did he tell you this BEFORE you told him it was over, or after? Sounds like he was going for your sympathy. This is beginning to really wave the :redflag:. You really should have blocked him a long time ago. That you keep communicating with him lets him think that there's still a chance for him. BTW, the new FWB might have also been an attempt to make you jealous. Read: I would rather have you. Because he would rather have you and you keep giving him the feeling that there is a chance by talking with him. How do I know? Well, while it didn't involve swinging, I was the guy in this same situation. We couldn't be together because of distances and I was in a loveless marriage where I was staying for my son, but every now and then we would still talk so I knew she also still had feelings towards me. She had even eventually gotten married, but we would still talk and I kept thinking maybe someday we would be together. It wasn't healthy for her and it sure wasn't healthy for me. Eventually I had to block her so I could move on with my life instead of being stuck hoping for something that was a fantasy in my mind. It was a dark time of my life and very hard to do, but it was the right thing to do. You really should be worried. Block him and move on with your life and your husband. Remember, this will only hurt your husband more if things continue. If you do run into him, just ignore him and if he presses you, be polite but explain that it was fun but now it's over and leave. Even in the best case, nothing good will come out of this, and that's the BEST CASE. The worst case...is scary. Congratulations to the both of you. Keep things going between the two of you, but DON"T end up back were you started by letting this other guy back in. No matter what you may say, there are some feelings between the both of you, but you need to put an end to it. Block him and move forward with your husband. Good luck and I wish you the best.

We all, including my wife and I, are into the lifestyle for the fun. Why ruin it with this drama? This guy is not making your collective situation better, so move on.

You make many good points and I (and my wife) empathize and agree with them, especially about alone and multiple partner play. Although I would say that my wife actually has a romantic relationship with both spouses of one couple of the four couples in our closed group, there's nothing wrong with it and it doesn't bother or threaten me. Maybe you're right to just call it a "special thing." Considering how many couples here, together for many years, have trouble navigating the waters of being non-monogamous, I give you much credit. Or perhaps it is because of you and your husband (and your play partners) not having the burden of years already together made you all more flexible.

We swing together. Sometimes separate rooms in our house or a house party, but we are in the same locale at the same time. I think that swinging separately can lead to trouble. But even swinging together, we have had to let a couple of couples go because the husband thought my wife was their girlfriend. This hobby has its risks.

That question brings me back to how my life drastically changed, having a threesome with a college girlfriend. At the time I had no bi feelings and no need to have sex with a guy I hardly knew. I had a bf and wasn’t looking to cheat. The only reason I was with them was a snowstorm and the need for a shared hotel room. To this day I’m amazed that I allowed myself to allow my friend and I guess I was being bold to participate. I was more upset I allowed her friend to join, I felt I was cheating on my bf. Since that day my bf became my husband and we have had many threesomes with both guys and girls. He had confided to his best friend and encouraged him to join us. Before Covid that friend would keep me company when my husband traveled for work. We have also played together. I have a girlfriend, my best friend who found out and joined us too. Now with us not meeting others both of these friends are our the ones we play with. If I had my choice, my husband alone first, and then I enjoy one on ones.

In my travels I have had affairs and one night stands each having its own pluses and minuses. I only had affairs with women I enjoyed being with and I would make arrangements to meet in advance of a trip. The vast majority of these women were married and enjoyed the times we would meet. When things got either routine or complicated I would move on. When in new places or when I had nothing planned there was an excitement of looking and enjoying a new woman. I would think everyone who swings or plays outside of marriage is looking for new experiences. A new body, a new touch, a new movement, a new reaction. No two people will act the same way. My wife has told me she enjoys new men and enjoyed the men who pursued her on cheater sites. For years our marriage was a don’t ask don’t tell relationship. When we decided that talking was fine she told me stories of meeting several men during a week I was traveling, even two separately on the same night. As a woman she had more control of who she would see again and who she wouldn’t. I am thinking we were very much alike in that we enjoyed both.

My feelings have changed over time. When we first started meeting my school friends there was an excitement to see who was going to show up at our tailgate parties and I used to wonder who I might be playing with. I was excited to have a friend approach me as I was not sure how to approach others. It was more like wow they want me and even though I was attracted to others I didn’t approach. My husband on the other hand always approached girls he never met before. He would get me mad when he would say he got new pussy. As I became more comfortable being with my bi side, I started acting like the guys who approached every attractive girl. It was always exciting to see someone who was a good friend back in school was now as bi as I was. There was one party where a guy who was very endowed was the attention of too many of my friends. At first I had no intention of playing up to guy who knew his assets were an attraction and then I fell right in like the others. Then it became a challenge that I succumbed to. I admit it was exciting to be with someone new.

Me and my wife have been talking. We’ve decided we have an interest in watching/ being watched. We are wanting to find someone a little bit away from where we are. What’s a safe way to do this. We don’t have a desire to do any swapping or touching other people. But the idea of watching someone make love or us being watched is exciting.

We are definitely using the same play book! nude = no face pic face pic = no nudity or sex face pic = only private gallery no trading pics thru email/text Keep in mind, even though most lifestyle sites don’t allow you to right click and save an image, pretty much any electronic device will allow a screen capture of some sort.

Yeah, we figured that out the hard way unfortunately. Lol We are definitely ready to get back at it though, just with newfound boundaries in place ?

Following these suggestions is a great way to start. We highly recommend the meet and greet scenario. We have met some FWB, some one and done and have met some people that have become really good friends. In all honesty we would rather hang out with LS friends than vanilla friends ?. That way I don't spend the night having worry about saying something off color.

There are also folks that would be up for video conference sex. Might put that in a profile. Not as personal or able to trigger the senses, but.. I personally don't care for the technology as people can record. It seems more difficult to record in person without all consent.

We live in South East MO. Would be glad to meet with you and maybe we can help each other, We are also new to this L.S. we have experience several MFM but would love to just watch and be watched also.

We are in western Tennessee. Because of her job we want to do this around Nashville maybe. Clubs may make her nervous to be seen by someone she knows. I have a friend who swings with his wife, but I’m not gonna go over that boundary and ruin a friendship I’ve had for a long time if things get weird.

That is a perfectly acceptable place to start. Other than the usual, Groups, , Clubs, SLS and the like there is not much to offer up without a bit of information. In General what area do you live in? We might be able to suggest specific groups or clubs. What is your risk tolerance, both COVID and discovery?

Sounds like bragging and trying to impress people on here. I don’t know if you are off the bell curve as I know many men who can go forever or quickly recover. Why do you think you are special?

My wife already was a vagitarian when we met. It would be a struggle to get her away from pussy, and I don't care to try.

You cannot control what other people think. You cannot control what other people say. You cannot control what other people do. So long as your employment does not have some sort of morals clause that would be used to threaten you, how you and your spouse live your lives is up to you. Consensual non-monogamy is a choice. More specifically, it's your choice, and not theirs. Three observations: 1. Marriage is declining as a priority for Americans. To the extent that marriage is somehow important, it is going to be (re)negotiated as a concept and practice. 2. Alternative lifestyle decisions that involve (for example) body art, body piercings, public nudity are becoming fairly mainstream. 3. As a first responder in the time of COVID, you may be held to a higher expectation around potential transmission. That might not seem fair. (Get vaccinated if not already).

What's the accepted way to let others in the RV Park know you're swingers?

How bad did it get? Were there compromising photos that showed your faces? In what way did they out you? We have a swingers profile and we are careful to be clothed in photos that show our faces, and we crop faces out of the naughty photos. We feel like that gives us plausible deniability in the event some jerk tries to do the same to us. Face pics are normally in private albums so somebody has to work at it for us to reveal them. If somebody works that hard that pretty much proves they are into swinging too - or worse yet posers. And being a poser on a swinger site is an akin to being the clothed gawker at the nude beach.

LMAO this is why i love this community so much... i love how open everyone it. the way it should be!!!

We have not, but we have discussed this. Answer vary from: Looking at them and asking "Where did you hear THAT." Looking at them chuckling and say something to the tune of "I'll add that to my resume." If they really insisted "Well do you?" I think I'd go up to them throw my arm over a shoulder and ask "Why? You interested?" followed by an evil chuckle.

I think that would freak my dog out lol! There's a big difference between Swinging and Dogging. I think it doesn't really count as Dogging if it's at a swing club. My NJ peeps no doubt know about the infamous 'adult book store' BNA. A couple we know said they had a good time there, that other couples were in attendance, and the men there ranged from about 20 to 50. We get down to that neighborhhod every couple of months, so about three years ago we scouted it together. Couples get in free so we walked through the door from the bookstore part to the dimly lit back room. There were glory hole rooms, larger movie rooms, and a couple play areas - all with porn playing on TVs. The physical environment didn't actually seem that bad... but the clientelle. There were exactly 4 men inside, each positioned at the separate areas of the back room. We walked from the entrance all the way to the back, then returned and by the time we were back to the entrance all four men were lined up behind us like baby ducks lol. The men were creeper types: definitely aged somewhere above 60 and very creepy. I would say we were back outside within 5 minutes of getting there. We told our friends about our visit and they said it was a mistake to go on a Thursday and that Saturday nights are better but we honestly have no intention of returning.

I am thrilled just to have sex as my favorite is still the one I have sex with everyday. I know that’s not swinging, it is still pretty great. My wife is the one who started me in the swinging world when she asked me to be with someone else, something I couldn’t refuse. Without being specific it was creepy being watched while fucking someone. My wife continues to set us up with meetings and every time I get to taste and fuck some strange is the ultimate dream and I can’t believe she encourages it. I have never met a new pussy I didn’t want to be in and am looking forward to many more. I am also happy to go back to any repeaters as well.

My wife and I discussed this extensively because we both enjoy meeting and having sex with new people, and seeing the other do so. But we decided along with four other couples who feel the same way to form a closed group. It gives us plenty of variety and no worries; bareback all the time, alone play, nothing is prohibited for any of us.

There is something exciting about playing with someone new. I think I have read I am not alone in the excitement of undressing a new man, and the sight of seeing what I am going to find. I usually say size doesn’t matter and then I say it may be when first seeing a new one. Every man reacts differently when we meet. On the other side meeting people we enjoy being with is exciting too just a different excitement. We will only meet a couple a second time if we enjoyed being with them socially and sexually. It needs to be more than just sex.