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Katrina writing: Well, the first time with a woman, I did get seduced and I was stunned to find myself into being with a woman. She undressed me, kissed me and I was all in. In short order, she had me on my knees lapping up her pussy as she pulled my head more deeply into her. Alternatively, I've never tried to get a girl to change teams and can 'read' someone pretty well. I'm always happy to play straight, but if the girl is being coerced and the husband is 'hoping', we simply do not play with them. We've had on experience where the other woman sincerely wanted to try it, did and we stopped. It wasn't for her. We've also had the situation where she completely got off on it , I worked her to several orgasms and my husband fucked her into next week. Yet, never take one for the 'team' and never try and coerce. It's not healthy for anyone. We're supposed to be having fun here and I'm not into drama.

It's a definite yay for us. I think the safety benefit is a big one and I feel better knowing my GF is with one of my friends rather than someone I never met. It also makes getting together with friends more fun and takes the pressure away from having to hide anything.

I agree. But I also think there is a certain level of trust on both sides in that type of sex. Obviously the woman has to trust the guy who is dominating her and the guy has to trust that this is what the woman actually wants and isn't going to freak out or call the cops or something on him. So I think it just naturally takes time to get there sometimes. I have seen some guys who are quite good with it from the start and jump in head first but others need a little bit of time to get there.

Well, it's shock or disappointment, take your choice.

Well, it does need to be communicated if she wants to get to what she wants. Again, perhaps you two show a video, while you explain, she nods eagerly in agreement?

For me, one of the most difficult decisions in life, whether it is in your career or personal relationships, is when to persist and when to move on. No one wants to be a quitter, but no one wants to be a fool either. And the question is not only whether the goal is impossible and the effort totally futile, but also if it is worth the cost, despite what you've already invested. It takes a wise person to evaluate the situation objectively and make the decision because the answer is not always clear, even in hindsight.

She has a couple of regulars who she has great sexual chemistry that can fulfill those desires for her. I actually prefer it that way because when you're dealing with that sort of aggressive sexual play I think it's safer for her to be with guys she knows and trusts. One of them is my best friend who I've known almost my entire life. It feels very natural watching them together which can almost be scary but we both trust him. But the intensity between them is off the charts. Another is her boss who she has great sexual chemistry with as well although it feels less natural and more theatrical when seeing them together. And of course there are some others that come and go.

Been watching this topic for a while. We rarely meet single men but when we do, we prefer to scratch the itch and move on. This may happen every year or two. Not looking for driveway no dials, late night boots calls, or to hang out in a non-sexual way. Couples, we have a similar preference but have had multiple meets with 3 couples that went on for about a year in each case. At first there is that nervous sexual energy but in all cases went to a comfort level that we weren’t going to cross a boundary, say something to offend, or any of those things that can sometimes be difficult to navigate in a group of 4.

Strictly speaking you are on the Bell curve, just somewhere on the tail, a standard deviation or so away from the mean.

For me, having babies. I can now handle any guy; not that I want to supersize, but I could. My definitely normal, but slightly above average, husband and boyfriend still totally satisfy me. Clair and Lora are the same - they've had babies vaginally but still can clamp down on my one finger. Clair can open enough that I could fist her though.

I think alot of people hang onto certain relationships for too long. My wife says inertia is a powerful force.

Perhaps for us women it's because we are unwilling to give up on a situation, always thinking that we can fix it for everyone. As I've told before, long ago I was in a strictly sexual relationship (having a husband and boyfriend I thought that I was hot stuff and could handle anything) that didn't go well (unsatisfying sex) for me. Yet I kept at it thinking I could fix it and make it work. Fortunately, my wise and patient husband said, "Petra, it's not your responsibility to make everything right." I moved on and didn't regret it, or in retrospect, the learning experience.

That's another advantage of us being in a group of regulars, everyone has figured out everyone else's kinks and they can get right to it when the mood hits. Perhaps she should have a FB who understands her and can satisfy her kink rather than figuring it out with new guys all the time. BTW, you should marry this woman. She has a good attitude.

It's not just what she and he look like physically, it's also what they're in to. If your wife has a few kinks/preferences in playing she needs to make them known: is she strongly dominant or submissive? Like any kind of dress up, role play or toys? Does anal? Willing to have a threesome with his wife and maybe do girl play one or both ways? What people are looking for isn't always appearances. Good luck and let us know how it goes.

Think I know what the Lioness is trying to say, we are all anonymous on here unless we chose another couple from here and they know who we are. Being anonymous doesn’t stop someone from writing a novel, I will never meet some of the greatest fiction writers in history. I will also never meet the greatest athletes who write autobiography’s about their prowess. Some of the postings here IMHO are here just to excite the reader or the poster , which is very obvious to me from a first post. Most of us share our experiences and like you see if other’s experiences are similar to our. Some see if others have had the same problem and want to know how others would handle. It makes us think, we all make our own decisions on how to proceed. Back to your PROBLEM, most men, and we have met men on both ends of the spectrum, don’t have to come to our swinging site to on their very first post to tell us all anonymously that their problem is that they can fuck many times without going soft and most likely cum in quarts. Maybe at your age you haven’t played with enough men to see some can cum and still go for multiple orgasms. The difference is those men don’t come on here to cry about their problem, they are too busy having sex and not using their cocks that stay hard to text. There is that joke about Viagra, if your erection lasts more than two hours call your doctor and the man replies, Call my doctor? Hell I'm going to call everyone I know.

I appreciate you sharing your personal experience and advice. I haven’t had too many people I could talk to about this, so I appreciate it. He’s been blocked and luckily we’re moving out of state in a couple months, which also helps with the swing club issue. Thanks for the response!

Sounds like bragging and trying to impress people on here. I don’t know if you are off the bell curve as I know many men who can go forever or quickly recover. Why do you think you are special?

I'd say you're on the right side of the bell curve for sure, but maybe not on the extreme edge. I've found a lot of variation, but for the most part the swingers and alt-sexual types I've been around tend to have higher performance because they're less inhibited, have fewer hangups, and maybe most importantly have supportive partners. I may have been as performative as you in my teens and 20s, but didn't have an outlet for it then, so who knows. When I started experimenting in my 30s, I could climax 3-4 times a day still, though I'd have to rest at least an hour between. I was also on trazodone, which I'm sure helped with great erections. It probably 'interfered', if you want to call having to take a break after 30 minutes or so a problem--I just started to lose feeling. I liked having the break and none of the women complained, and I don't remember any complaints about finishing later. By my 40s it was slowing down a little, but I'd gotten a divorce and so was highly motivated. Women at swinger parties would be impressed that I could have two orgasms a night, though this was a lot harder bc of the condom. Dating, I remember several women that we wouldn't get out of bed all weekend. By my mid-40s, it was a lot tougher to get there more than 3 times over a day, and I'd often have nothing until late the next day. But it was never a problem with the people I was around, even people half my age. I'm really interested to know how well people in their 50s and 60s perform, so i know what to expect. I'm just 50 and once a day is where I've been for a while, but haven't been swinging in several years.

My wife already was a vagitarian when we met. It would be a struggle to get her away from pussy, and I don't care to try.

My big question is how man times did you cum while posting this? Did you stop typing after each orgasm to regain your thoughts? Did you use F to T (fingers to type) or V to T (voice to text)? What made you join a Swingers board to post your prowess for your first post? Welcome to the board!

I so very much love to watch the Mrs. suck and swallow another man. she has been told that she has a very special touch, at first she was not into it but now loves it, and goes after it like a hungry kitten after cream. It is so very hot and I love her so much more for sharing this with me. We have a rule that the man always has to kiss her deeply after.

Herpob - it seems like you're speaking to a "go with the flow" kinda play time. I agree sharing is what's it all about. We always play together. That doesn't mean we won't play separate t some point, but so far our play has been a team effort. My wife is not into women. Never forced her either. During one foursome she did touch and caress the other woman. I think it was more as a connection than a sexual act. If she ever decides to go for it, I'll be cheering her on, if not, no big deal. We can find lots of great things to experience without FF. Of course, I thinks she's a bit crazy. Playing with women is freaking FANTASTIC. Oh, maybe that's just male perspective.