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With plenty of time working from home, no busy bodies looking over your shoulder I check in as a change of pace, a diversion. I am amused and at times annoyed at some of the new mega posters, I wonder why they have so much time to to multi post on a topic. I remember one mega poster who left the board due to thinking he was be targeted for his views. We only post if we think we have something to add to a discussion, we certainly don’t have all the answers. I sometimes wonder how a poster came to this board and again wonder why a first post by a member happens. I am guessing most members have either given up or at the very least cut back on playing leading to less sharing of experiences.

It's an interesting question. For some, the LS is a hobby. Hobbies come and often are set aside. Interests wane. For others, a life choice somehow excludes the LS or at least reduces the priority. For still others, the LS was simply a sampling of a variety of opportunities that life offers. Occasionally, there is a death (we miss padoc's posts) Perhaps the reciprocal question is even more interesting: for those who stay, what's the draw? What makes the LS, and what makes *this* LS community, worth our (collective) time and effort?

Our metric has been whether we need to do something. Before covid, we did many things we are not doing now. We don't go to church, we don't sit down in a restaurant, and we don't hang out with friends. There will be time for those things after this pandemic is over. If we don't treat the pandemic seriously, there won't be time for those things. We too, like couplers, are concerned not just about dying but about potential long term effects from the virus. There's a ray of hope that's been happening over the last three weeks. On January 11 we were averaging 249,000 cases per day (averaged over the prior 7 days). A bit over three weeks later, that figure is now down to 137,000. That's an astonishing drop, and cause for hope. We still have a long way to go though.

PSU: We'll always still enjoy hearing what you have to say, even during the rare time we may not totally agree. Having a dissenting opinion, but still being able to be respectful and articulate, occasionally shows us the errors in ones previous mistaken beliefs.

We joined here bc the rona brought our lifestyle activities to (almost) a total halt. If it wasn't for our involvement here it might seem to us that swinging is dead - except for the occasional online swing party (we attended one and found it depressing and sad). So we like this board bc it makes us feel connected to a culture that has almost ceased to exist. I can't imagine not swinging and also not interacting with the swing community online. At that point you have gone full vanilla [shudder].

When on a diet, most would prefer to stay out of the bakery aisle.

Even if you're willing to take your chances with the percentage risk of death, I would be scared of being one of the long-term sufferers who are debilitated for months, perhaps life.

No longer swinging, divorced, no longer interested in the topic, no longer with us. I miss some of the old posters.

With the Swingersboard generally, I find it easy to pass over posts that I'm not interested in, ignore the very few posts that rude/offensive/stupid, and appreciate the vast majority of what I read. In an increasingly insane world, I am glad for this place and the honest, polite and intelligent people it attracts.

Sometimes life just happens and 'hobbies' are put on hold. I know there was a month or two last year where I wasn't as active with the passing of my father. Now I just wish things would go back to 'normal' so we can start enjoying our 'hobby' again.

Yes, it's just the nature of things I guess, but I miss people too. Sometimes though an old familiar voice shows back up, and it's always nice when that happens.

Maybe Covid and they are staying safe? or They come look and only see the same posters posting and they have nothing to add.

So my wife and I have been dirty talking a MMF 3way for a bit now. She desperately wants to be penetrated while she gives oral, but she strongly thinks that as a married couple it should only be us. She can't help but twerk her ass when she's on her knees sucking me and we both get super turned on when talking about another guy sharing her. I've talked her into getting a thrusting dildo and seeing how that goes. Any tips on how to get it to go further? I'd love to share my wife with another man and eventually experiment with other aspects of swinging.

As I said in the beginning...doesn't mean it will ever bear fruit, but if the seed is never planted, the outcome is already decided.

bbarnsworth: I keep this bookmarked because I seem to keep referring back to it: Monogamy-isnt-biblical-its-roman

Some of the newer power posters have lessened my interest in sharing my own thoughts. I’m finding myself not even reading some of the posts by many of these im posters.

From what I have been reading I think some are misconstruing what the vaccine actually does. What I am seeing is that is gives protection to the recipient from getting seriously ill from being infected, NOT from getting infected and passing it on. Refer to the difference between "effective" and "sterilizing" immunities. In terms of getting back in the game it is important that we are inoculated to protect us from getting really sick. It likely does nothing for those we play with. It also does nothing to protect loved ones who may catch something that we pick up, even if we catch it from a vaccinated partner. The main benefit in being inoculated is that Covid 19 is being reduced from a life threatening illness to a bad cold for those who receive the vaccine. Would one of our medical people step up and say whether my understanding is correct? I hope that I am very incorrect, but I do not think that I am.

Mixed feelings are normal but do need to be addressed. The idea of a partner being "less desirable" afterwards is sort of opposite how it works for most people so I think this is a red flag that needs to be talked out. Has anybody here seen that Playboy channel reality show 'Swing'? The jist is that a brand new couple gets indoctrinated into swinging for the first time. At the start of each episode the couples sign a short contract that basically states that they are entering into a situation where the rules rules of a monogamous relationship will be temporarily set aside, and everybody agrees NOT to hold what happens against each other once the adventure is over. Having a similar contract when starting out is a great idea that we highly reccomend. Go forward with minds and communication as open as possible.

I have no advice because after our first experiences, my feeling were the opposite. I was flattered that other men found my wife so attractive, that she had enjoyed herself so much, that it all got me excited, and finally that her pussy was better than ever. Tell him this is how to think of your sex with other guys: exercising your sexual aspects, physically and mentally, make you better for him and makes you want and love him more. Using your body as it was meant to be used makes it stronger and better for him. That's what I think, believe, and found to be true.

My wife and I, while not Catholic, are close with God. This was a bit of a challenge for us as well; how do we reconcile that with wanting to have sex with other people? It's part of the journey of faith. There were a number of things that played into this for us. One, the Old Testament has many, many examples of non-monogamy...so much so that it's almost hard to understand how the Judeo-Christian ethic became monogamy. In the New Testament, Jesus didn't really talk about sex. Another point for us was assessing non-monogamy from the perspective of a crime, as it is laid out in the Ten Commandments. If it is a crime, who is the victim? If a married person cheats on their spouse, then yes there is clearly a victim. If the spouse is consenting, where is the victim? An abstract argument could be made that you are victimizing a lawful society, but it's a weak argument at best and I don't see it. Consenting adults having sex with each other in private isn't inflicting anything on anybody. An argument could be made you are victimizing your marriage. That argument didn't and doesn't hold water for us either. It has made our marriage stronger, not weaker. We are closer, more communicative, and more supportive of each other. I can't speak for all swingers, but I would venture to say that almost all swingers would report the same. There are some for whom swinging does not work, and that's fine for them. There is risk in anything you do in life and there are risks not related to swinging at all that can negatively impact your marriage as well. I remember reading something in the months leading up to our first swinging experience that noted that for 70% of couples, swinging had a positive or very positive impact on their marriage. For 28%, it was a neutral impact. For 2%, it had a negative impact. So, where is the victim? For us, there isn't one. Thus, there isn't a crime, thus there isn't adultery. Yes, you don't want to push her at all, nor she you. I think you're further along on the pathway than she is. As the saying goes, a couple getting into swinging should always move at the pace of the slower spouse. That's perfectly fine. Yes, it is very arousing to share your wife. Having been in many MFMs with my wife, I can tell you it is highly erotic to watch her have sex with another man. I love seeing her move in response to him, I love hearing her the sounds she makes as she's having sex with him, I love seeing his hands on her body, I love watching him slide in and out of her. I also love having sex with her seconds after she's had sex with another man. Your wife sounds like my wife, in that my wife's favorite thing in an MFM is to have sex and oral sex at the same time. It is very erotic for her, and very fulfilling.

Ok, so we had a kitchen table talk. (Idahocouple6969) this was already planned, I didn't just rush in due to your post earlier today. She said yes adding another person to our bed is a fantasy, but there's a lot more to consider. Safety, emotion, feelings jealousy etc and even how to find someone interested who doesn't have baggage attached. At the moment the door is closed, but she will think about it. If she does decide she's interested in further pursuing it, she thinks we should go to couples/sex counseling to make sure we are doing it for the right reasons. I also brought up that there are sites and communities that we can reach out to if she is ever interested in exploring more, even just to learn about it. We discussed our feelings for each other and I explained that this is not because I need something more, but because it is a shared fantasy, and that yes or no she is still all I need to be happy and satisfied. I'm happy with our conversation now that it is out there, even if it wasn't an immediate yes or erotic reaction. We will see what the future brings.

I agree. It’s been more active with some new and interesting voices in the last six months.

A cuckold has a cheating spouse. A Wittol is a man who acquiesces to his wife's affairs. The latter is moral, the former is not.

Strictly speaking you are on the Bell curve, just somewhere on the tail, a standard deviation or so away from the mean.

I am always curious about couples who began nonmonogamy early in their marriage as we and a few others here have done. It seems to me that they have less uncertainty, drama and hand-wringing than those who after being together for 20 years are thinking of "dipping their toes" into the lifestyle. Latecomers are the ones who have all these rules, worry about who may know, what feeling may develop, etc. I don't know if it is a generational thing, or having started early in the marriage or what, but it's interesting. In my mind it depends on whether you have the attitude that if a mistake is made it is a problem or something from which you just say, not for me/us, and move on.

The wife here---- We were both 23 and had been married less than a year. Neither of us had much experience before . We thought it would be worth it to, if only once, have the experience of a foursome. We decided to go to this really amazing Club to give it a go. We got introduced to an amazing couple by the club hosts and decided to full swap. The sex with the other husband was incredible. It was amazing. I came like I had never came before. That same night they even introduced us to a second couple, the experience was like a drug, and they were just as nice (but not quite as good ). I realize a lot of people have not so great first experiences, but we had an amazing one.

That's what got us into the lifestyle! Even when we first dated, we both freely spoke and eagerly listen to nonsexual stories about our past relationships. As our relationship became sexual, we talked about the sexual details of those past relationships. It became part of our foreplay, and we were uninhibited (and unjealous) about describing who and what acts from the past that we enjoyed the most. After we got married, I got up the nerve to suggest to my wife that she contact an ex who really rang her bell and arrange to screw him for old times sake. She ended up doing two ex boyfriends (separately), we did MFMs with them, and this led to couples swaps. Even now I like hearing stories from my wife of what she did when I'm not there, even if I had seen them together hundreds of times.

As a bi woman, I love jumping into both aspects of that messy aftermath where two people I love have just finished. It is physically and psychologically amazing.

Without hesitation it’s having sex with my wife after other men have cum in her. Was admittedly reluctant at first but quickly became a must soon after. A very close second is watching her be completely in the moment and have no regard for anything or anyone else when she’s getting fucked.

Ours was our first swinging experience at the Cottage in PA, It took us a while to get our courage up to go, but what happened that night fulfilled our favorite fantasy's that we always talked about in one night. We arrived and were greeted by most gracious hosts, and they suggested we take the tour with the owners, and they were very nice and informative, after we then went to the bar and had a few drinks and another couple came up to us and started talking to us. Not sure how to approach this as this was our first time and we engaged in some very erotic conversations and then they suggested we go find a room upstairs. The rooms upstairs were all full except the one for more than 4 people. We went downstairs and had another drink, and the other couple started talking with one other couple at the bar. Soon they turned back to us and asked if we would like to take the large room with them and the other couple. It didn't take long to get agreement from all party's as the atmosphere was getting very sexually charged. We made out way up to the room and the other couples started making out with each other and we did the same, as the temperature rose, my wife joined in with the first couple, and if possible I grew another inch on the spot. On of my (males) favorite fantasy is watching. As i got hornier the woman in the second couple was going down on her partner, and I asked if I could join in. The answer was an enthusiastic yes, as the the other woman was on her knees with her butt facing me I started licking her from behind, and then proceeded to fuck her while watching my wife with the other couple. I came pretty quickly, and she then proceeded to give me head and her partner started fucking her, and with all that was going on I was hard as a rock again and came in her mouth. It was then that the first couple then asked if the female could go down on my wife and if she liked that and I said oh yeah, again I grew another inch and was rock hard again. While I was watching my wife give head to the first couples partner, she was getting eaten out by the female with her butt facing me. I asked if I could join in and that was enthusiastically accepted. She had a garter belt on and stocking, a turn on fantasy for me and her legs and butt were awesome and I couldn't wait, I started sucking her clit and immediately heard her moaning in pleasure along with my wife moaning too. I could not wait much longer and put my dick in her from behind and started pumping her quickly. The scene before me was the female I was doing from behind who was eating out my wife who was sucking the cock of her partner. OMG I came two more times that session without even getting soft. We swapped position with everyone in the room several more times that night. We left late that night and went back to our hotel room we had booked near there, and when we got to the room started fucking hard and passionately again, we loved every minute of it. Whenever my wife is out of town traveling, I always get horny and think of our first time. Most awesome experience, other than the night at naughty in New Orleans several years ago., but that's a story for another time. Getting horny all over again just thinking about it. LOL

I've had that happen when some of the semen unexpectedly went down the wrong pipe, so to speak. It was only one shot, not fifteen like you, so it wasn't that bad or last that long. As I was coughing though, I think some of it came out my nose. Another reason that although I like sucking dick, I prefer he ejaculate in my vagina, and if I'm going to eat it I'd rather like it out of a pussy for both physical and psychological reasons (it's much more of a turn on for me).

Very very hot.

It's not always easy to explain to the Mrs. what you're getting out of it, is it? Can be pretty far removed from vanilla communication. First time Mrs. E was comfortable enough to get spit-roasted by two different men - something she's only done a couple of times since - was unbelievably intense to watch.

I wouldn’t call it a fantasy, way back in the 90’s. We were at a party I was fucking Robin in her ass on the front room bed. We were doing anal missionary, as I was fucking her, sheila slid her small lubed up strap on into my ass. Talk about a rude shocking moment, Once I got used to it we got into a rhythm. I am straight butt I did enjoy it. What’s funny is earlier Robin kept fingering my ass and massaging my prostate. After her pegging me I realized why she did that. Just thinking about it makes me turned on.

I thought about this but there are just too many to choose from. If I had to pick one I would say her first gangbang. It was just the most insane weekend event ever. We took a trip to Atlantic City with a bunch of my buddies and it was the wildest time we had. The amount of sex was surreal. It felt like my GF was just constantly getting fucked. When it was over she felt absolutely exhausted and sore but proud. She said that it was just one night too long though so since then we have shortened it. Everything was on the menu that trip - oral, anal, golden showers, etc. I think it stands out because there were just so many different crazy memories from it. We still talk about this trip all the time.

Thanks for the advice. I've always wanted to be a bit more open with our sexuality, but was happy just with us. It was my wife that would keep saying she wished i could fuck her and she could suck me at the same time. Some light prodding and she started the roleplay of another guy (specifically bc she wants penetration). I think the idea of another person out of our relationship is still too much of a taboo for her, but I feel like roleplaying it and getting the toy is a good step in the right direction. Plus I figured, having it being about her pleasure and doing a MMF would be a good entry way into experimenting with more. Hopefully a swap, MFF or gangbangs are in the future. There is something so arousing about sharing my wife with another person.

What can be more exciting than the first time you are with someone other than your wife? The time leading up to the actual event was heart pounding with so many thoughts going on in my mind. Swinging was a hundred percent my wife’s doing and made me wonder why.

I would think that it would give you superpowers.

Feeling your spouse is tainted after they have been with someone else is the opposite feeling you are going to want to have in this lifestyle! Personally if either one of us felt this way we stop immediately and resume being with just each other. Not even sure why there would be any point in being in the lifestyle other then personal gain for ones self if you are going to feel that way when your spouse is with someone else.

He said you were less desirable because someone else "had" you after a soft swap. Yikes. I would highly recommend NOT moving onto a full swap as there is no way he'll be able to handle another man having sex with you, and watching you/hearing you enjoy it. This is always a risk of entering the lifestyle. For us, watching the other getting please in manner we can't enjoy alone is the attraction to this lifestyle. The first time I watched the Mrs interact with a woman was incredibly sexy. The image is burned into my memory...a sexy woman was laying naked on the bed. Mrs was leaning over the edge of the bed with her head between her legs. The other husband was standing next to me watching. I handed him a condom and said "you should go fuck her from behind". He put the condom on, positioned behind the Mrs. The Mrs raised her head slightly and made eye contact with me as the other husband grabbed her hips. The look on her face as this other guy slowly penetrated her was amazing. She moaned and then went back to eating the other woman. It was awesome. The Mrs told me a similar story about how hot it was as she was being eaten by the other woman and I slid into her from behind. We were looking at each other while I was entering another woman and she was being eaten by her. So freaking hot. Reminiscing these encounters turns us on. They aren't negative. Again, I would highly recommend not pursuing the lifestyle any further if you want to stay with your current partner.

I am sorry that your partner thinks this way. Sex is not a limited commodity. Performing sexual acts is not a bad thing, it’s a good thing. The lifestyle goes against societal norms. It takes a different frame of reference. It takes an adjustment to accept the norms of this practice. I just hate to hear a partner make the other partner feel bad for participating. Keep talking. See if this lifestyle can work for both of you.

So you two sound like our kinda couple, my husband loves to suck dick, and I love watching him suck cock. We have totally given blow jobs together. And I'm pretty adept at eating pussy. ?????

Laura and I spend more time sunning in the nude at our pool, and yes a few neighbors that we know check us out, which having been Nudists most of our lives, is no big deal, but we love the attention we get, especially Laura and her all over tan with pierced nipples and clit. Our neighbors Barb and Stan seem interested in seeing us nude more often, we catch them with their cell phones on us, which turns us on. Barb approached me and said that my cock was the darkest and biggest she has seen and we got together with them and the party was on. Dave and Laura vegasnudecouple