I am guilty of going overboard with posting after being silent for a while. Not posting is part lack of time, but much of it is mood. My recent spate of posts was when I had to travel because of issues both technical and personnel that had to be dealt with in person. The strangeness of the times is more extreme when in a hotel, alone without the usual after work hours distractions. No getting together with colleagues, no dining, no fitness center, no other diversions (even if available, you can't just show up, you need reservations). Only the occasional run.
The reason I bring this up is that it put me in a really weird emotional state, the isolation and being away from home. When traveling is about the only time I masturbate, and then it used to be once, maybe twice a day, 15 to 30 minutes, one quick orgasm to wake up and one to go to sleep. This time it was more frequent, much longer, and much harder, three or four fingers instead of two; staring at the six porn pictures I have on my phone that I hardly ever look at. Unusual extreme emotions.
Then afterwards, visiting the Swingersboard. From the first time I visited here over a decade ago, I got validation, felt like a deviant, but within normal. Being here still makes me feel that way. And I feel compelled to post, please forgive me, not all of it is worth anyone's time. It made me realize that my visits here are almost always after I have had sex (unlike those who come here to get excited), feeling fulfilled but also puzzled by it all. Why am I so compelled to do all of the things that I do? Why are the others? Is it a massive waste of time? How strange that it has produced our wonderful children.
In case you are wondering, yes, about 15 minutes after making love with Lora and David (hubby loves her move than he loves me, but I accept that, I love her too), then Red and Clair, I logged on here to get a sense of validation and to exhale my feelings. I'm not the occasional power poster, I am an occasional mess.