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I agree that both parties should share the experience together... but what the means can vary from couple to couple. At times in our swinging together, my wife has gone to a club alone, hooked up with a guy and then come home and shared that experience with me. She does this because she enjoys it and she knows I enjoy it. It's kind of an exhibitionist/voyeur thing I think. What's key is that it is a shared experience, even though I'm not in the room with her at the time. For some couples, separate room play is unthinkable, or others it's preferred.

He doesn't feel left out. That's a misinterpretation of things. In the "hot wife" scenario, the husband gets as much spark out of it as she does, even though he's not actually having sex right then. The fact that she is having sex with another man is what turns him on. I know, it's a head scratcher. But, that's why Baskin Robbins sells 31 flavors ?

Of note, the words "marriage" and "marry" do not appear in biblical Hebrew. Etymologists trace the origins of the words to around 1300. The concept of durably joining a couple (for historic reasons, this was always a man and a woman--propagation of species and securing alliances--the idea of marrying for love is only a few centuries old) predates the notion of marriage. What has not changed, of course, is the fact that the couple within the marriage defines the scope, behaviors, and core values within that marriage. We would add that long-term-couples of our ken not only defined but continue to refine that scope and the behaviors--while holding the core values constant. "Open" is a scope; "monogamish" is a behavior. The durability of the joining is based on the values. Our perspective: early and open discussions about values can avoid a lot of later discomfort

Responding in the same friendly, respectful manner... saying the disease is a corona virus is like saying it's a bird. It's a board, general category. Just like a duck is not an eagle, COVID19 is not SARS. There are lots and lots of different corona viruses and they have similarities and differences. I'm not an epidemiologist. I'm not even a doctor. I'm going to trust the guys who are. While I can easily Monday morning quarterback them, I don't know the science and I don't know the challenges they face, so I'm not going to. I'm going to believe they're doing their jobs to the best of their abilities and trust in their experience, training and skills.

Yeah. They've been having trouble much of the day. Possibly some sort of a hacker attack, or possibly just because it's a shit site.

My objective is for my wife to have the biggest, back breaking, squirting, mind blowing sex ever. What's the point of having sex that's "just as good as at home"? Bigger, smaller who cares? If it feels good and everyone is having a good time does it matter?

If we hear someone say that they are in an "open relationship", we perceive a focus on self equivalent to the focus on the relationship. When we hear someone say "monogamish", we perceive a focus on their relationship greater than their focus on individual experience. The latter are -- in our experience -- swinging as a couple. As for "common definitions", we retreat to the famous exchange penned by Lewis Carroll in Alice in Wonderland: “When I use a word,' Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone, 'it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less. ' 'The question is,' said Alice, 'whether you can make words mean so many different things. ' " Words carry emotions--without such emotions, rhetoric and politics would be dull indeed--and words used around love and sex are inevitably emotion-laden. Both Humpty-Dumpty and Alice seem to acknowledge this. Humpty--Dumpty goes on: "'The question is,' said Humpty Dumpty, 'which is to be master — that's all.'" The problem is that the emotion sent may not be the emotion received. Perhaps why we perceive the terms "open marriage" and "monogamish" not to be synonyms.

We would rather be headed to Desire Riveria Maya than headed anywhere with a room mate. While we think room mate is the correct answer, give us Desire RM instead. Call it Disneyland for adults (originally called the 'happiest place on earth')

...you don't know what you've got until its gone...then you want it back. I suspect he will reappear as well. Just have her stick to her guns.

I only meant for the science regarding this pandemic. I certainly pay attention to the social issues through other sources.

You make some very good points. I'd like to add: Yes, a M-F-M threesome is far easier to arrange as single men looking for NSA sex are easy enough to find. However, that also comes with some risks that you probably wouldn't have with an attached male. Once, we had a single male who, after a few play dates with us, grew quite enamored with Ann and started to ignore the established boundaries until I chased him off. We learned an uncomfortable lesson about the potential downsides of incorporating singles into our sex life. Because of that experience, we have largely played with attached couples only. Regarding feeling like a third wheel... I think that's an important point, too. Not everybody is comfortable watching his/her spouse/SO/partner having sex with some one else and it can be easy to feel left out. Personally, I *enjoy* watching my wife have sex with another man and am more than comfortable seeing her to go at it with him while I enjoy the show. Then, when the time is right, I join in. In other words, for us, it doesn't necessarily mean everyone has to be having sex simultaneously. It ebbs and flows. Sometimes it begins with one, or both, girls giving a little solo show to get things started off. Every scene is different; every experience is different.

I should add: That basic familiarity with corona viruses is what allowed medical research teams to develop a vaccine so quickly. Had it genuinely been a "brand new" kind of virus, it would have taken far longer. The usual timeframe to develop a vaccine of this type, start to finish, is about ten years. Unfortunately, there is a lot of misinformation surrounding the vaccine. It has been wrongly criticized for not being properly tested and that safety was compromised in exchange for speed. This is because people do not realize we have been studying the corona virus family for years. More than 250,000 (not a typo) strains of corona virus have been genetically sequenced in labs over the years. The real "breakthrough" was in the use of mRNA technology which, essentially, allows the vaccine to introduce COVID-19 proteins (not the virus, just the proteins) into the body to "train" the body's natural immune response to kill off COVID-19.

I think Flea-Swing99 hit the nail on the head. Swinging is about everyone involved. I personally have a really hard time understanding couples who tell us the woman plays but not the man. When we sense there is any kind of jealousy or control with another couple, we avoid them at all costs. We often hear women say that are not ready to see their husband with another woman but she plays freely with other men. How can a man not feel left out? I think until both parties are ready to share the experience together, then they are not really ready at all. Just my opinion...

Luckily, I'm a veteran over 65, so the Pittsburgh VA hospital got me in on the third day. I could have been in the first day, decided I didn't want to fight the crowd.

Hope so; we haven't even really started lol. But together 23 years we are both secure in knowing what we want to do to add some additional fun to our lives so we're hopeful to explore the next phase of our amazing relationship.

My husband and I agree that starting out with a threesome would be more personable allowing all three individuals to be involved together. We love watching each other for a bit but always join in and make sure everyone is involved. Although everyone has their own preference of how a foursome should take place, we feel it should involve all four individuals as well. The main factor my husband and I look for is the enjoyment of being able to be involved with each other, watch what each other is doing with other individuals and not be separated and simply focusing our attention on the other couples spouse. We would not get near the same enjoyment or pleasure out of it or what we’re looking for if it were just a simple spouse swap. Swinging to us is all about seeing each other give and get pleasure from others and to others. When we play with other couples we always make sure to have some involvement with each other while enjoying seeing each other playing with the opposing spouse. basically, everyone involved with each other with only one exception and that is no m/m play as my husband is straight. If my husband chooses to step back and watch me with another couple before he joins back in, then that is done by his choice and not because he feels he is being pushed out. I’m playing with another couple and Three separate on the other couples spouse couples spouse, it doesn’t allow us to share the enjoyment each other with each other of what is taking place. Swinging to us is all about watching each other enjoying each other and being a part of whatever experience one of us is having.

I don't know about other posters, but from the very beginning I log on here after sex to confirm my normalcy (within this group at least) and ponder what I am doing and what it is all about. I'm only slightly closer to the answer, but feel better after reading and posting. (I guess that even after years of being in "the lifestyle," I am not the cool, confident person I sometimes think that I am and try to be. Or maybe I am, but keep turning it over in my mind.

I was that way for two years, hubby let me have a boyfriend but he was monogamous with me. Eventually, I found that it wasn't the jealousy, it was having a sense of control. I set hubby up with my girlfriend who said she found him attractive. The control was that she was someone who I chose; I didn't ask him, I told him to do it. I was jealous as hell, "What am I doing?" But after they did it, I was hooked (still am) and couldn't wait for them to do it again, and for me to find another girl. Parse your fears and feeling carefully, it may not be what you think. What we did in bringing others into our relationship has led to our poly family and made us all very happy.

I am outgoing, but this entire website is built around being actively involved. The way that I know that is because if I go to my profile or for that matter anybodies profile the first and pretty much only piece of information it gives is their site score, how many posts, how many quotes, how many likes. All of that is based on posting. I wasn't trying to upset people, and I have felt like I was keeping it relevant. I just wasn't trying to be braggy, that felt hurtful.

Yikes, if you feel jealous when you have sex in front of a webcam you should not move forward with swinging. Doing so would be a complete disaster for your relationship.

I recommend the option of going to a club, watching and being watched for a first experience.