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I try to let my wife close the deal. She is hard to say no to.

Doesn't answer your question directly, but for us among friends and the more plentiful acquaintances (which may be a couple we met an hour ago), we have used the slow, incremental approach, letting the women control it. Sex talk, clothing off, touching, my wife would provide an opening for the other woman to respond to and see what happens. In most cases the guy would be more in the role of just approving or holding back, not exploring the limits. For example, the girls talk back and forth until they agree to go topless. Daniela gets the approval from his wife to put her tits within reach of her husband. The three of them can play feelies until the other couple both make it clear that I can touch his wife. Things can move quickly, slowly, or not at all. The goal is that wherever it ends up, no one feels pushed or has regrets.

Interesting things I learned just tonight... Washable markers come off the back and tits fairly easily, belly not too bad, thighs with a bit effort and ass... well, she's going to have to be careful about who gets a peek at her ass for the next day or two, I think. Also, different colors are more or less easily removed (probably not going to use the blue again). I did experiment first before I used the markers on her... writing on the back of my own hand and leaving it for a while, Didn't have any trouble. For some reason, I didn't expect different body parts to "erase" in different ways. Not testing different colors was an oversight. What can I say, it was something different to try...

Second meetings are a little easier if the other couple knows what they want to do. My husband and I are still hesitant to be aggressive and we both would rather have the other couple take the lead. I spoke to the wife of our first couple a few times when I wanted to see if they enjoyed our time together. Part of the calls was sexy and some was just general talk. I thought the calls went well yet I hadn’t heard from her again. I hesitated calling her again until she called first. My husband wouldn’t call the husband saying guys don’t make those types of calls. She did call me last week and apologized for not calling, snowed plenty and just got caught up doing nothing. She said they haven’t answered any ads on the site since we met and that they agreed that they didn’t need to if we were interested in meeting again. We talked about the hassles of finding new people who think alike.

I agree with @Numex it's been my experience that letting the women lead gets things going a lot faster and a lot farther than if the men do it. Doesn't seem to matter if it's threesome or more somes. It just seems creepy with an aggressive male. TBH women can get away with a more aggressive approach. Not that I'm not engaged in this but Mrs ID gets it started. We owned a bar and she is very practiced at dealing with what we refer to as 3 beer romeo's. I am a hopeless flirt. But I still take my cue's from my wife.

This is why it's a good thing for single guys to post a few dick pics on their online profile. You don't want to wait til the moment he drops his drawers to find out if he has the kind of cock your Mrs. likes.

Everyone has their particular things when it comes to attraction... no judgement here. The key to successful swinging is open, honest communication... and not just within the couple. Therefore, I would say it is absolutely necessary for you to be upfront and honest about this with any potential play partners. Better to let someone know at the start that they aren't an option than find out when the pants come off.

GF came back with dirty words written in permanent marker all over her body once. We left it there for a while because I found it extremely hot however she has had guys write on her several times after and it usually comes off pretty easy with some alcohol.

When we play with markers, we do not use washable ones...we use Sharpe permanent ones. Whats the fun of using them if they easily come off. Also, in what circumstance is anyone going to see your wife's bottom before it wears or washes off?

I think the pineapple serves as a pretty decent signal to those in the know. It's innocuous yet recognizable among likeminded people and generally not hard to find in supermarkets or incorporated in clothing/jewelry/welcome mats etc.

It is not like people don't get beaten to death, run over with cars, stabbed... for this same or lesser "offenses". Unfortunately our species has a certain tendency to violence. I will leave several thousands of years of reliable tracking and research to back that up.

I find this post very disturbing. Not that you made it, but the truth it contains. In a place where anyone and everyone has a gun, violence, deadly violence, can be expected in situations where it is not warranted. And from that expectation, the violence is justified. "My wife is cheating is cheating with you? The law lets me carry this gun and the expectation is that if I'm offended, I'll use it like a man."

If you guys want to do prostitutes, have a ball. But I'm curious. Why do you think an escort will be safer than a girl in a bar?

Our industry is heavily tech dependent, but is involved in a business line that skews quite conservative. As a result, we have a lot of young employees who remain fully covered year-round. I'm certain most never considered that would be a consequence of of being "cool" when they were nineteen. Honestly, I wouldn't have, either. I probably would have been the first person in line for a tatt or three if they were part of my culture growing up. Thankfully, they weren't.

We know the problem with that first time meeting. We tried and tried to find someone who would fill our fantasy. Free accounts gets you what you paid for. Plenty of fakes and no shows. We went back and started with a brand new account and paid for it and still struck out. We had too many no shows leaving us with paid hotel rooms. Dinners and drinks just the two of us. Our first meeting with a couple was too easy to set up, for sure it was not going to happen. They weren’t married and the boyfriend agreed the women would play first. The pictures they sent were too good. They showed, looked like the pictures, she was sweet, he was someone we normally would have walked away from if we met them first. We learned from our early mistakes and promised ourselves to be sensitive to the needs and wants of couples we meet. Sure we want sex, not rushed sex. We like to start with girl play and we always ask if that is what they want. If agreed on Linda will put the wife at ease. She normally makes all the first moves then things just happen.

It's an interesting question. For some, the LS is a hobby. Hobbies come and often are set aside. Interests wane. For others, a life choice somehow excludes the LS or at least reduces the priority. For still others, the LS was simply a sampling of a variety of opportunities that life offers. Occasionally, there is a death (we miss padoc's posts) Perhaps the reciprocal question is even more interesting: for those who stay, what's the draw? What makes the LS, and what makes *this* LS community, worth our (collective) time and effort?