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The first time I swapped, I was just out of my first marriage. I was dating this girl, Laura, she also was recently divorced and wanted all the sex from me she could get. We often hung out with another couple at their house playing backgammon. (In the late 70's, backgammon was the hip thing.) One night somebody suggested we play strip backgammon. Okay! So I saw my friend Barb naked for the first time, and had sex with my girlfriend in the same room. Talk about a rush. A couple weeks later, we do it again. As Laura and I start going at it, I feel a hand on my back, it's Barb. She joins the two of us, a little later I see Laura's over with the other husband. I wrote this up as a story, should I post it in the story section? Just 'like' this post or 'hot' it, and I'll take that as a yes.

Just to add to this, our club has a policy that a single man must be sponsored by a member couple and the first night they attend they must be with that couple. On any given night they limit the number of single males to 10% - 1 guy for every 10 couples. Add to this the fact that a single guy pays more than a couple, ($70 / $80) and you do get a better grouping of them. As a result, the single men act better, you have very little of the leering that I've seen at other clubs, and they know their way around. If you're thinking about it, Fire&Ice, call the club and ask about the single male policies.

Just to say it... I know that conventional wisdom in swingers clubs is that single males are a problem. They are generally considered creepy, leery, rude, pushy, etc. I am therefore sure that we have been unreasonable lucky with the clubs we've gone to, because I can pretty much count on one hand the number of problems we had with single males in our time. Our experience has almost always been that guys are polite, respectful and accommodating. Even our negative experiences were resolved by telling the guy to stop or back off, and that was the end of the matter. In contrast, my experience of clubs that only allow couples has been generally less positive (in my experience, they have been snobby and cliquish). Everything says my experience is atypical, but I wanted to put it out there. Just because a club allows single guys doesn't necessarily mean the atmosphere is that of a pack of starving wolves hungrily circling raw meat. Doesn't mean it isn't it either. It's important to get to know the community. You never know what you'll find until you look.

We're not sure why, but we had never really thought of becoming members at a club, but we are starting to see the potential benefits both in terms of safety and knowing who might actually be available to play. It is something for us to reconsider, especially once the pandemic restrictions are lifted and it is safe form a health perspective. An added feature is that we have had a couple of experiences of finding people online who aren't in real life what they claim to be in their profiles. We see the positives of being able to meet somebody, know what they are all about and determine how or if we want to move forward from there.

I am against coaxing or pushing a spouse to do anything they wouldn’t want to do. Now that I got that out our first swap came after a visit to a nude beach while on a cruise and it was with a couple we went with to that beach. The visit to that beach was the catalyst to the conversation we had later back onboard our cruise. Being completely nude on the beach and some wine and laughs back on the ship could be considered the drug that led to swinging. Thank you for asking the question as I get to relive that night every time I write about the experience. Every woman remembers the firsts, first sex, good or bad, the first time with her husband when dating, our wedding night, and for me the first time being alone in a bed with a man after years of monogamy.

I appreciate your wife was turned on and you two practiced some discretion. Also, I understand the desire to have a little sexy fun and be cool about it. And I'm never going to say I haven't felt my dick twitch when I've been applying sunscreen on Ann's body, or her mine. Trust me. I'm as perpetually horny and full of testosterone as the next man. Lol... So, this is not directed at you per se. It's more just a statement about nude beaches and acceptable, and unacceptable, behavior: The people who attempt to use nude public beaches as their sex playgrounds are the very people who ruin it for everyone else. These kinds of activities, although comparatively rare and practiced by a distinct minority, create the image problems we in the nudist community have to overcome when working to either maintain a public beach's nude status, or establish a new nude beach. It took YEARS of effort, not to mention significant financial costs, to establish the nude beach we frequent most. We had to work closely with local political leaders, and law enforcement, to persuade them that people who enjoy nudism are not sexual deviants, and that nude beaches do not act as magnets that attract sexual deviants or predators. Our nude/clothing-optional beach ambassadors are well-trained volunteers who spend considerable time with local police departments and receive training on how to spot and respond to violators. Most mistakes are very minor and quite innocent and are the result of a simple failure to understand and follow proper etiquette (for example, disrobing in the parking lot rather than in the designated clothing-optional area.) However, unfortunately, we do have some idiots to contend with from time to time. It normally doesn't end well for them. We, both as an organization and as volunteers, actively support the arrest and prosecution of all serious offenders. In the State of Florida, *public* sex (i.e., intercourse, oral sex, masturbation, etc.) is considered "lewd and lascivious behavior" and will get you slapped with a potential first-degree misdemeanor that will include a serious fine and up to a year imprisonment. Do it in the presence of a person under the age of 16 (they just simply have to be anywhere on the beach, not necessarily in sight), and you graduate to a possible first-degree felony with a luxury car-sized fine and imprisonment up to 30 years, as well as registration as a sex offender. How's that for a bucket of ice water. Moral of the story? Public nude beaches are not for sex or sexual exhibitionism. Behavior that is not tolerated on a clothing-required beach, is not tolerated on a clothing-optional/nude beach. Let's all use good judgement and common sense.

It was about 9am in the morning when we struck up a conversation with a single guy on a nude beach in Florida. 12 hours later I watched him fuck my then-girlfriend (now my wife) in our hotel room. That was our first experience. It was fantastic and I would live it again in a heartbeat.

Go to a club that limits the number of single guys as part of their membership group. Those guys will be on their best behavior because they don't want to risk losing their membership which was difficult to come by in the first place. You can attend the club on a GB theme night or simply collect 3-5 singles on any relatively busy evening. Lay out your rules and head off to a room and enjoy your "party". By being at a club you'll sidestep many of the hassles and pitfalls you'll encounter trying to do it on your own. You can even advertise the GB in advance to prospects letting them know she'll be choosing from who is at the club on this night...

Hate to brag, but high school sweethearts here AND we're old now, so.. 42 years. We've shared everything, grown up together, made many mistakes together, had lots of successes and lots of adventures along the way and could not be happier. Well, maybe a little happier. We miss travel and warm beaches with clear blue water and young sexy people in skimpy attire. Don't judge it's all in good fun.

My wife was attending to her needs with a pocket rocket at a swing club. I was nearby. A single male took out his massive tool and was stroking it near her. He asked me if it was ok if he watched. I said yes, as long as you don’t shoot that thing on her face. He said “That would be impolite!” At the time, we were totally inexperienced. At a later time, my wife would have done him.

Well, now we have a good group so they tend to show up

Be interested in finding out how many of these folks are still together. BTW we are approaching our 38th anniversary. Still enjoy each other's company, having a drink together and of course fucking other people ?.

1st NOPE. Couple was a little strange, we were nervous. They said they were experienced. After we got to their place she bowed out, 'that time of the month'. We got more comfortable and he was wearing torn, faded tighty whities. We had gotten ourselves clean, pressed clothing etc. Putting our best foot forward. They didn't put any effort into their appearance. Their home was messy, like no where to sit or even really play. They seemed nice enough, the conversation before was electric. Sitting in a public space drinking coffee and openly discussing having sex with strangers. Really kinda hot. Never knew what their gig was, didn't care. We just chalked it up as a learning lesson. We're all human, different. Certainly didn't hold it over the swinging community and it did open our eyes to the possibilities and excitement of openly engaging with others around sex. 2nd not much better. Single guy. Very classy. Opposite of first. But he got totally drunk. Still a sexy evening with fond memories. I think I've told that story here somewhere.

This was us, and totally agree much nicer in a home. I believe it was our third experience (?) that was in a home, and I suspect if we wouldn't have had that more relaxed and fun experience then, I kinda think we might of just burned out and quit. Clubs are fun, but we've found the sex is way better in a house when you can take your time and be more focused without all the distractions.

Bumping up to give our newer members a chance to vote. Looking back, I see that we voted in this already, but have now moved into a different category, 30+

To my fellow Jerseyites who go to Gunnison’s in Sandy Hook, I know I’m a Bennie, a label put on us North Jersey peeps, the beach is not a place to have sex. We were warned very strongly not to do anything sexual the first time we went and things have only gotten stricter the last few years like no alcohol and I think no tents. We have taken our out of town friends there a bunch of times and I plead with them not to break the rules. I know people who claimed to have sex in the ocean, they said it was discreet. Not worth the risk. Is it an entry drug? I can see where it might be a way to get comfortable being nude in front of other people. If you think your body isn’t perfect, here I raise my hand ??, you now see in a perfect natural area, very few bodies are perfect. Most people will pay no attention to you and yet there are people who are looking, I did when I went. I looked at most likely gawked at T&A and P comparing myself to all those I thought were attractive. And how can I not notice the guys swinging as they walk. If you aren’t comfortable being looked at, you might need to wait for swinging. All the friends we have gone to the beach with we had played with so for us it wasn’t an entry drug.

First time worth repeating? Absolutely! ?

A lot of swingers are flakes. Only time my wife and I were ever stood up in our long lives were with a swinger couple who no showed for a dinner that was a 45 minute drive away from our home. I texted them the next day just to make sure that they did not die in a fatal accident. The husband claimed he cancelled by email. I told him he didn’t have my email. He then claimed he cancelled by text. He didn’t. We later found out they stood up other friends of ours. Have not seen their profile on SLS in a long time. Maybe swinging wasn’t for them. So yes, potential gangbangers will no show in a heartbeat.

Yeah, seems pretty strange to me but it's a fairly common bit of shared wisdom when it comes to recruiting guys for gang bangs online. Most just don't show up. Personally, I've never had any luck with find play partners online anyway. I've always preferred clubs.

Wow, that is so disappointing to hear.

OMG the not showing up is always going to happen.

In the oral sex case, it was downgraded to an unspecified municipal ordinance violation and a minor fine. It does not show up as a disorderly persons offense or a crime, so it does not appear on the blower’s permanent record. I got my ticket reduced from 4 points to 2 points. I was interested to note that state icon Bruce Springsteen was arrested for drunk driving at Sandy Hook. But he only blew a BAC of .02. Way under the limit. He pled to a minor charge like public drinking. I understand he did a shot with fans. If he was not drunk, tell him not to do it again, get his autograph and send or escort him home. Warning: the federal police at Sandy Hook/Gunnison loves to write tickets.

I am a retired lawyer. Many years ago, I received a speeding ticket at Sandy Hook/Gunnison nude beach. I decided to represent myself (usually foolish) to try to knock down the ticket. While I was waiting for court, I was hanging out in the judge’s chambers. The prosecutor was discussing plea bargains. One case involved a woman charged with disorderly conduct . She was caught giving her husband oral sex in the car in the parking lot. Her lawyer said to the prosecutor “Come on, this couple has been married for 25 years. She deserves a commendation!”

That's an interesting point we hadn't really thought of... the dates not showing up. Just thinking out loud, We are not sure we would want that in the case the wife might be disappointed at the turnout and think it was something about her. Only the flip side 10 is too many for our comfort right now. Hell 5 might be too many for now. Looking to start slow. Thank you for your reply, this has given us a lot to consider.

I agree with the openness of knowing what to expect as it takes away any unwanted play. We like to meet couples where the female is curious, it was the reason we started playing. I like that she assured you that stop is stop and no pressure to do anything you aren’t comfortable with. Now that I’m the experienced one, I will start the play with kissing, not every woman wants kisses, I don’t understand but respect wishes. From there I need to read signals, touching and being touched. Most women we have been with who are still exploring this new sex play never take the lead in touching. Most will follow the lead I show and then the ultimate move. I find the hardest part for a new curious woman is oral yet the all want the oral they may balk on giving. Some just can’t do it, some go very slowly and very few go right to it. Most acts just go forward naturally as you become more comfortable doing it. It will get easier without thinking too much, there isn’t a manual or step by step directions, it should flow with excitement.

As we go into meeting others he said he would make calls til then he likes me do the talking. We make the decisions together to meet a couple and we usually agree if it’s a no go. With this couple we had a very easy time starting this time. In my call with the wife she explicitly asked about me being open to playing for our husbands. She said she wasn’t sure how I felt about girl play I think she saw my shyness. She talked about toys they have been playing with. She assured me she cleans and sanitized her toys. She also told me if she starts and I didn’t feel good with it she would just go back to swapping only. When we met this time she had a bunch of toys out and said she had favorites. We started with her choice which broke the ice

Tell him guys do make calls and set things up. What would he say if you set a date up and he didn’t want to go? It’s great you met a couple that you enjoy and they enjoy being with you. With the pandemic and most couples not looking to risk people they don’t know you lucked out. Did you finally find out how to start playing? It does get easier as you get comfortable with your own body.

Second meetings are a little easier if the other couple knows what they want to do. My husband and I are still hesitant to be aggressive and we both would rather have the other couple take the lead. I spoke to the wife of our first couple a few times when I wanted to see if they enjoyed our time together. Part of the calls was sexy and some was just general talk. I thought the calls went well yet I hadn’t heard from her again. I hesitated calling her again until she called first. My husband wouldn’t call the husband saying guys don’t make those types of calls. She did call me last week and apologized for not calling, snowed plenty and just got caught up doing nothing. She said they haven’t answered any ads on the site since we met and that they agreed that they didn’t need to if we were interested in meeting again. We talked about the hassles of finding new people who think alike.

We don’t chat through Facetime or Zoom, so pre-pandemic, we met people for the first time in person. More than once, people posted 10 year old pictures. We thought we were dining with our grandparents. So we are not ready to go before we meet, see and get to know people a bit. Also, sometimes one of us notices things about the other couple that the other did not. Like some space to discuss.

We had an amazing first experience. In fact, I wrote a story about it that lives here at The Swingers Board Swinger Stories - A Great First Experience. We consider ourselves lucky, because our second experience was so-so. And if we'd had a *negative* experience the first time, it would have seriously dampened our enthusiasm for the whole hobby. We repeated with the same couple for a little over a year.

Definitely worth repeating but not at all as we assumed it would be. We decided to check out a club for our initial introduction into the lifestyle. We had all these rules, and ideas on how it would be but everything we thought went out the window when we were consumed and overwhelmed with the atmosphere. We were amazed when we seen so many attractive couples around our age with the frame of mind that most swingers were much older than us so we probably wouldn't be compatible with many people. Since then our perspective has changed about the older peeps and so has almost everything else haha. I could honestly write a book about our first experience but I will quickly summarize it into a quick sentence or two. We were at the famous New Orleans club Colette where for our first time we experienced a girl on girl, then a FMF with a different girl, then a four couple group play. I thought I would be semi weirded out by seeing my Heidi with another guy but I will never in my life forget how beautiful and amazing I thought she was after waking up beside her the next morning. We have been full throttle ever since.