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Thank you for this! And, yes, I'm seeing that communication is absolutely key. I think I haven't brought it up to him because I haven't wanted to open up a can of worms that I didn't want to or wasn't prepared to deal with. And that's why I asked here first. You guys have been great in helping me work through it in my own head if/when it ever comes up.

Depends on the person. For my wife Daniela with the couple she has a strong emotional connection with, she will do oral on the husband to completion, then snowball with his wife. They also bond where the other husband fucks my wife as she does oral on his wife. After he drops his load in her, his wife will eat the cum out of Daniela until the second cumming. For me it is regular penis-in-vagina intercourse with bareback ejaculation.

People may think that intercourse is the ultimate act of sex and that going all the way means having a penis in the vagina. My husband and I have oral sex only quite frequently and both feel very satisfied. Some mornings I will wake my husband up with a blowjob and not wanting anything in return and he will wake me up other mornings with a tongue pleasing wake up. We were with the couple we have been meeting and I started to do what I normally do with my husband by kissing our friend’s penis. I enjoyed his reactions and continued to give him a blowjob and started thinking how beautiful his penis was. He tried several times to stop me and go further and told him to just relax and enjoy as I enjoyed doing it. I licked and sucked, took him deep in and then only the head. I explored his walnuts with slight pressure. Several times he tried to stop me and didn’t. I could hear my husband talking in the other room and figured they finished what they were doing. When my friend came he said that was the most intimate thing he has experienced. Is it?

I think it all depends on what the people involved bring to it. Sex of any kind can be a lot of things... it can be joyous and thrilling, quiet and intimate, enthusiastic and passionate, dull and mechanical, deeply spiritual, purely physical. It can be an act of love, lust, friendship, pain, rage, boredom, obligation, or simple need. I think that's what makes it so interesting. It sounds like your friend really enjoyed the blowjob and wasn't expecting it. I'd hazard a guess he'd never experienced one quite like that before. So, for him it was an intense thing. That's probably good.

I think the situation is really everything. I guess about everyone on this site has been able to enjoy casual sex, at least to some degree. I think that most of us also see a clear distinction between casual sex and the type of intimacy that is possible through sex with someone you love. For me, I think that oral occupies both extremes. It can be extremely casual. In most situations, I'm happy giving out oral like a party favor and I've had several FWB situations over the years where the lady will occasionally want to blow me and that's it. This type of oral, maybe because it doesn't even require both parties to undress, feels the most casual to me. Likewise, with someone I'm in love with, giving oral is a very purely giving act. Especially when including the kissing and touching that is part of that sort of sex, and the fact that when giving oral you're not distracted by your own urgency of sensation, you can focus 100% on your partner. Vaginal or anal, feel to me like they can't be quite as casual as the casual sort of oral, simply because it requires more physical access be granted and taken. It just can't be done without a certain amount of closeness. On the other hand, even if it starts out as very generous and focused on the partner, as either of us gets close to orgasm, that takes hold and becomes the focus. That's not a criticism, just an observation. It does mean, for me at least, that the intercourse necessarily includes portions of self focus, that isn't necessarily part of oral. So, in a wide spectrum of differing levels of intimacy, I see the two extremes as solidly occupied by oral.

I would suggest that 'romantic' sex is much more intimate than oral, for me. If I'm with a woman who's not my wife and we get into a groove of kissing and touching each other, looking into each other's eyes, I feel so close to her. Then, when we're in intercourse, completely linked, in cowgirl or perhaps missionary, and we're slowly thrusting together, I feel something that's different from just sex. Oral sex, either her giving me a blow job or me eating her out, isn't like that. I'm not putting it down, but I don't feel it's as personal as 'romantic' sex. Lest you think I'm saying that you have to be in love to have 'romantic' sex, I'm not. I've had that kind of sex with women I've met a few minutes before at a club, never seen them again. It can be just a karma you get into for a time.

Thanks for your input. And I took some time to think about how I would feel with separate room play. If that were to happen, it would most definitely be a me "taking one for the team" situation. Because I really don't want to go off and have sex with another man without my husband. The erotic nature of what we do that I love so much is being with him in those moments. How he responds to what is happening and how turned on it makes him. That would be lost without him being there. But I will remain open minded if he ever requests that and always have the separate room scenario in my back pocket. Or me just staying home while he goes out to fulfill that fantasy. lol Hopefully he'll remain satisfied with our current dynamic

We can't relate to this at all. The largest number of men Ann has been with simultaneously is two. And you know what they say, right? Two is company. Three is a gangbang ?

The Queen had 11. We hosted two different party groups and this was the second most common request by ladies and couples in our groups after MFM. We hosted dozens of these designed to meet the lady’s desires/fantasy. Always safe. Several where specifically designed for requested bareback/natural wet endings. Those had fewer more selected male participants usually 4-6 males. largest group was 26 men with three women. Most of the men went twice over a five hour afternoon.

If this is genuinely a concern of yours, why wouldn't you just open up a conversation with your husband about it? If he's comfortable enough to discuss his fantasies about you having sex with him and another man, and then is secure enough to actually make it happen, repeatedly... I can't imagine he would have any problems discussing his feelings about F-M-F. From afar, this sounds like it may be stemming from just a little bit of insecurity on your part: "He's never indicated that he is interested in that. Not once. But it's something that I think about..." Chances are very good this is not a concern of his at all.

4I went to a swinger hotel with a friend. He supervised so I could be blindfolded. He said he lost count after a few hours but it was over 30. A few came back a couple times I guess lol. It was marvelous.

Welcome. It sounds like you guys are in a good place, but you are concerned that your husband may want to move things in a direction you would not be comfortable with. Have you told him what you just told us? I know, someone it's easier sometimes to share things with strangers on the internet than with those closest to us... but if you haven't, you need to. Just share with your husband that you are having fun with your current situation but that you would not be comfortable with an FMF situation, Talk to him about it. Find out from him what his thoughts and feelings are. You might find that he really isn't interested in FMF either, or you might find that he is disappointed... and then you can talk through that. What's important, is that you talk. The key to successful swinging, as with any relationship really, is open, honest communication.

To my fellow Jerseyites who go to Gunnison’s in Sandy Hook, I know I’m a Bennie, a label put on us North Jersey peeps, the beach is not a place to have sex. We were warned very strongly not to do anything sexual the first time we went and things have only gotten stricter the last few years like no alcohol and I think no tents. We have taken our out of town friends there a bunch of times and I plead with them not to break the rules. I know people who claimed to have sex in the ocean, they said it was discreet. Not worth the risk. Is it an entry drug? I can see where it might be a way to get comfortable being nude in front of other people. If you think your body isn’t perfect, here I raise my hand ??, you now see in a perfect natural area, very few bodies are perfect. Most people will pay no attention to you and yet there are people who are looking, I did when I went. I looked at most likely gawked at T&A and P comparing myself to all those I thought were attractive. And how can I not notice the guys swinging as they walk. If you aren’t comfortable being looked at, you might need to wait for swinging. All the friends we have gone to the beach with we had played with so for us it wasn’t an entry drug.

In the oral sex case, it was downgraded to an unspecified municipal ordinance violation and a minor fine. It does not show up as a disorderly persons offense or a crime, so it does not appear on the blower’s permanent record. I got my ticket reduced from 4 points to 2 points. I was interested to note that state icon Bruce Springsteen was arrested for drunk driving at Sandy Hook. But he only blew a BAC of .02. Way under the limit. He pled to a minor charge like public drinking. I understand he did a shot with fans. If he was not drunk, tell him not to do it again, get his autograph and send or escort him home. Warning: the federal police at Sandy Hook/Gunnison loves to write tickets.

I am a retired lawyer. Many years ago, I received a speeding ticket at Sandy Hook/Gunnison nude beach. I decided to represent myself (usually foolish) to try to knock down the ticket. While I was waiting for court, I was hanging out in the judge’s chambers. The prosecutor was discussing plea bargains. One case involved a woman charged with disorderly conduct . She was caught giving her husband oral sex in the car in the parking lot. Her lawyer said to the prosecutor “Come on, this couple has been married for 25 years. She deserves a commendation!”

Given your handle on this board, @hunterdonNJcpl, you might well be referring to Gunnison Beach on Sandy Hook. Kathy and I formerly well about a 30-minute drive from there, and enjoyed spending there late weekend afternoons (sometimes just the two of us, and occasionally with friends visiting us from out of town). We have found a couple of hours at any beach, nude or clothed, was about enough for us. Public sex, as you note, is forbidden. And walking into the dunes, which are protected in this federal park, for relative privacy, can get you into as much trouble as fucking or sucking. But, lots of swingers attend, and over the years we were discretely approached on a number of occasions by individuals and couples looking for straight or gay play. I can’t speak to the current situation but as of 15 or 20 years ago discreet sexual acts did take place. Some people brought tents they could zip them up for privacy. Kathy enjoyed sometimes going to the far southern reaches of the nude side of the beach, where there was no one within a couple of hundred feet of us, and masturbating with a pocket rocket. (On one occasion she was so turned on by having done that out on the open beach that she masturbated again during the car ride home. ?? )

A nude beach is a good first step into the Lifestyle. It's safe with no pressure or expectation of sex, yet by virtue of all the naked bodies, and the exhibitionist aspect, it tends to be a hot, sexually charged experience for a couple. It's how we got into the LS. We started going to nude beaches, then on vacation we visited a few nudist resorts... there is definitely more than a little crossover betw nudists and swingers so it was a step along the way and honestly I don't think we would be swingers if we never took that first step as nudists. If your wife gives an enthusiastic "Yes" to visiting nude beaches i think it's an indicator she is open-minded enough to check out the swing scene eventually. If she is like "No way" that's also an indicator. I think it's a legit first step. Keep in mind things may never go past the first step and let things flow naturally - no pressure.

A lot to unpack here. How do you "know" your wife is against swinging? Have you opened a dialogue with her on the subject? Or, are you just assuming you know her well enough to read her mind? Hint: Women are chock full of surprises and their attitudes, opinions, tastes, etc. continue to evolve their whole lives. There was a time when my wife would never have entertained having sex outside of our marriage. And I wouldn't have, either. We both evolved. One does not "become" a nudist. Nudism is simply being nude. It doesn't require a conversion. Lol! ;-) Some people enjoying being nude in the privacy of their own home and environment. Others are comfortable being nude around other people in the proper circumstances (for example, at a nude beach like the ones we have here in southern Florida.) Ann and I are nude as often as possible. We are fortunate to have a living environment that affords a great deal of privacy and we can be nude both inside and outside of our home without disturbing our neighbors or being disturbed by them (more likely.) Also, we belong to a social circle of people who are comfortable being nude together. Imagine a backyard pool party with friends--the only difference being everyone forgot to bring their swim suits. The "novelty" wears off quite quickly. You seem to equate nudism with sexuality. They have almost no correlation. A trip to a nude beach will squelch that notion in your mind fairly quickly. It's just ordinary people sunning themselves with the last bits of clothing removed. The average age tends to skew older, I'm estimating 60 and up. Not many "hard bodies" to be found. And, as with any other kind of activity, one is expected to follow proper etiquette. People tend to maintain significant distance from each other (even more so today thanks to the pandemic.) Ogling is not only in bad taste, it will get you invited to leave. Any overtly sexual behavior is illegal. At the nude beach we frequent, there is an organization of volunteers who act as ambassadors to ensure a friendly and wholesome environment is maintained. Creeps are reported to the local police. You are correct about one aspect of nudism: Based upon our experience over the years, we believe nudists are, by definition, more "free" in their thinking and actions and are less likely to adhere to some of the dogmatic limits that society places on people (this is even more true for committed naturists.) And, certainly, they are less judgmental about alternative ways of living. I do believe women in particular find being nude liberating because they so often have body image issues (regardless of how beautiful they are.) It is wonderful to shed the last little bit of clothes and stop worrying about how you "look". The sun and waves don't care.

It really depends on the couple, what are perceived as limits, as barriers, and as opportunities. Perhaps one can begin by acknowledging that many women are socialized by men towards body shame, sex shame, and pleasure shame. Many women are told from early in their lives that exposure of their bodies is sinful, sex is purely procreational and never recreational, and that the pursuit of pleasure leads to hell and damnation. That destructive orientation has been used by men for centuries to exercise control and maintain power, and is reinforced even today. Dragging an unwilling spouse into nude recreation much less swinging is wrong for all sorts of reasons, not the least of which is that is will be perceived as a sort of public shaming. On the other hand, supporting a spouse's liberation from shame is a wonderful act for both members of the couple. Motive matters, actions matter, love and support matter most of all.

If she's an exhibitionist, maybe; if not, nope. And remember, the vast majority of nudist areas are not swingers areas. They get positively angry if they see any kind of sexual behavior, and there's kids running around. Very free, not not very sexy sometimes.

Holy crap, people! I feel like we are such lightweights compared to some of you. Thelargest group working on the Mrs. was one time when she was the center of attention with four guys and two women at once.