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You are 'in your head' and as adam says on mental overload. Assuming there are no ED issues - ED drugs help blood flow not your brain which is spinning. They can help but mostly as a mental crutch. If your wife can get you hard - they'll help you stay hard... You simply need to get comfortable with the whole thing - naked in front of other people, being in the same room with a guy with an erection, you having sex with his wife, your wife with him - all this up against decades of programming (society / religious) telling you this is wrong... Maybe, back up and set up an mfm - get comfy with your wife having sex with another man. Zero pressure on you to perform; join in before, during and/or after - whatever feels right. Get a few wins under your belt. Move on from there.

First question, of course, is are you able to penetrate your wife? Second, are you able to penetrate her in the presence of the other couple? It's probable that you are on mental overload. The good news is once you are over the hump, this should be cured. Of course, how do you do that? If the other people are willing, I'd make this suggestion. Swap in different rooms; you'd be with the other wife without the distraction of the other couple. Turn the lights very low, perhaps off. Or you might try wearing a blindfold. And of course, use no alcohol or recreational drugs. Best of luck.

Of course your wife is going to do and enjoy things with other men (and women) that she doesn't with you, that's the whole reason for swinging/having sex with others. You should be happy for her. Let her maintain control, encourage whatever it is that she enjoys, and embark on the adventure. You'll get your reward.

For me, it's not about having sex or sex acts or multiple partners. It is about 'feeding' different aspects of my personality, occasionally, in diverse ways with sex. It transcends role playing, it's a sexual moment as I'm giving, yielding, engaging and driving my partner(s) into an exquisite moment. To build them up, for the men to enter me in a pure moment that thrills or kissing a woman with tongues plunging deeply. I love it when someone I may have just met can surrender to me and I to them. Then, once we're done that it's perfectly alright to go to the next partner and, who knows, have that same person again later that night (or not). Or, if it's simply to play with another couple, have the sex with the husband be so great that the wife thanks me. Then, of course, there's the knowledge of my husband having another girl, whether it be a wife or innocent bystander, knowing she just might be asking herself if watching me fuck means my husband must be amazing (he is).

Oral is by far the most common between bi men from what I experienced.

Sounds more mental than physical, friend. Contrary to what some people think, Cialis and like stuff doesn’t magically give you a hard on. They dilate the blood vessels to hopefully make getting an erection easier.

You first need to figure out if you problem is physical or mental. A good indicator is this: do you generally wake-up in the morning with an erection? That usually signifies that there is no physical issue and it's all in your head. And the mental thing can be fixed a lot easier than the physical thing. ?

Well put, but for us it's about what you say AND the sex. Neither my wife nor I hide the emotional aspect of our relationships with other partners. "I love you"s are exchanged by her with one couple. It is part of swinging and we talk about it positively.

It really depends on the guys. For us, he will top or bottom with the right guy. She loves to see him do either, but mostly it is oral.

Perhaps you're not a minority (neither am I) or you don't have any close friends who are minorities. Perhaps you've heard about the recent atrocities that happened to Asian-American women. When you're not in the mainstream, you can tend to become worried about the 'straights' (I mean that as any non-minority, not just sexual,) and can be a bit paranoid from time to time. I think the Florida Treehouse announcement and the reference to safe place is meant to calm bi-men who aren't used to being out in public.

I personally don’t think it is good idea to bring others into the mix unless your sex life together is already top notch! The only thing that can fix that is you two alone. It is only going to lead to jealousy and insecurities bringing others in if you feel there is something lacking between you two. I also think it is perfectly normal for someone to pull out all the stops when having sex with a new partner! Whether is it a new person they are dating or a one off encounter. Would you not want to make it a memorable experience the first time you were with someone new? This was your fantasy in the first place! If she is willing to agree with it she should on her terms. If you don’t like her terms then you shouldn’t go through with it. If it is not fun and exciting for her why should she go through with it? The way she responded to the suggestion of a mff does not at all sound like it is a fantasy of hers and it shouldn’t have to be. Going through with having one is probably only going to cause more tension between you. Swinging isn’t about you got to do this so I should be able to do this. It should only be about what you both want together and sometimes that is not going to be the same thing. I honestly think the best thing you can do atm is just work on getting the fire burning again between the two of you and put having others join you on hold.

The advice here is good, but if you're looking for a man who is into swinging and a long-term relationship, potentially marriage, I don't think that like every other guy is into that. Men who want to share of life of non-monogamy and swinging with a wife are certainly out there (and if they are like my husband and the way other husbands here seem to be, the are above average spouses), but you need to be honest about what you are looking for and be choosey. Most men still think that they want monogamy, so you need to say that you aren't going to be monogamous up front so as not to waste anyone's time.

We have had an excellent relationship with our LS friends ever since we had our first experiences when we were 29 y/o. Now in our 60's we still keep in touch with many sexy people and play at house parties and the occasional club visits. Of course New Years Eve is always a challenge when trying to decide on the best party option. Our past experiences have been trips to resorts with as many as sixteen area couples and quite a few hotel takeovers. Yes and we have even had a few “parties” when folks have passed away. We have always been grateful that we started with LS fun fairly early on in our lives and we have never had any regrets.

We started swinging because I wanted to watch. I just wanted to watch her with a woman. Couldn't find a woman alone and we met a couple. I wasn't sure how I would react to her and a man. Our first couple, was a younger couple, he being way bigger than me. I got to watch me wife with a woman which was a major turn on. I didn't like the attitude of the guy and had a knot in my stomach at first. Looking back it was a turn on and watching my wife with other men and women is still a turn on. But I do participate. I thik you can have any feelings you are good with and here is a perfect place for chatting about it.