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omg - the filth you see in some ppls houses in the backgrounds of their profile photos (single guys are not the worst here), and guys who shoot dick pics standing over the toilet, and guys (and couples) who message you and only say "Hey" or "What's up?" as if you've been waiting your whole life for them to notice you.

I have some clarification on how our contact happened. Contrary to what I thought was stalking she told me she has been too nervous to approach me for over two years, one of those was during lockdown. Her friends confided in her how they were looking to find a couple, and approached her and her husband. She said that her and her husband were not into anything like that. What happened was her friend telling her how they finally met us. She swears it was coincidence that she belonged to the same gym I belong to. I still don’t remember telling anyone I belong to the gym, possible? Maybe. Things changed after her friends met us. They kept telling her that the experience was what they needed. The way she explained it to me, her husband agreed to play with the couple we met. She backed out several times. She couldn’t go through with it, being friends was a bigger problem. She said the closest they got to playing was her husband encouraged her to play and he wouldn’t do anything unless she was comfortable. The night she was prepared to go all the way our friends husband got as far as putting his hand in her pants when she froze again. That is when my name came up. Better to try with strangers than friends. I explained we are more open to women who are curious and that our focus would be on that if we meet. She said she understood, she knew that is what we did with her friend. Is this the real story, it sounded feasible. She sounded sincere in wanting to get involved with any pressure and without a friendship that could be ruined.

No. COVID vaccines do not cause infertility. COVID vaccines do not cause impotence. COVID vaccines do not interfere with contraception (birth control). https://www.statnews.com/2021/03/25/infertility-myth-covid-19-vaccines-pregnancy/

Since you seem to be so worried about this, repeat after me: "I have no idea what you are talking about." If that doesn't work, add "you sexual deviant, please go away"

Several issues here: First: Is trust. The two of you need to have an open talk about fantasies. There are LOTS of women who don't want to 'admit' that they are interested in swinging (or any type of sexual fantasies) because they are afraid it will make them a 'slut' and/or scare you off. She needs to know that it's okay to have fantasies. She needs to know that having a fantasy doesn't mean that it will come true unless she would like to have it come true. She needs to know that if it does come true you will still respect and love her. She needs to be able to trust you COMPLETELY. Second: Before you go, you need to talk about limits. How far are you both comfortable with going? Once that limit is set, it is SET IN STONE. No changing limits once you are there. She needs to be able to trust you that the limits are the limits and that you respect them and her. Even if she says it's okay to change them, it's still isn't a good idea because 'in the moment' it might seem like she wants to but later she might not think the same way. There will ALWAYS be the chance for another time as long as you both are okay with things. You have the rest of your lives together to take that next step, if you decide to take it. When it comes to swinging, taking a bunch of small steps will probably get you further than jumping in head first. (One of our hard rules is never move faster than the slowest member is comfortable with) Finally: ED. This is much more common than you would think, both with swingers and non-swingers. If only there was a pill for this...wait, there IS! One of the more common causes is YOU. You worry and pressure you put upon yourself, especially about what might happen or what others will think or being naked where other people will see you messes with your mind which, in turn, messes with your body. Back when we were first starting, there were times when I was watching my partner doing the hottest things imaginable...live porn right before my eyes! My eyes were telling my mind 'can you believe what you are seeing?!!' and my mind says 'nope, can't be happening' and my cock would then ask 'hey, what am I supposed to be doing here?'. Mind says 'nothing, this can't be happening'. Once it happens the first time, you then start to worry that it will happen again...so it does because you were already worrying about it. If only there was a pill...even if there wasn't, it just takes some time to get used to the idea that what you are doing is okay and there's nothing wrong with doing it. Take your time already, and always remember, if all else fails, you still have a tongue! Most couples will understand since this really isn't that uncommon. Just remember that you are doing this together and just have fun with whatever happens. You can always stop at any time if things aren't working out for you both. Take your time and enjoy the experience. Let us know how things are going.

I'd like to see scientific confirmation of this . . .

I'm single female interested in swinging. I'm struggling to find relationships with single men into swinging. I'm not big on just casual fwbs. I'm 21 so I feel like my whole age group is not as open to swinging.

So, as a lifetime user on SLS I often review new profiles. I do it . . . just cause. Single guys tend to give me a good laugh every now and then. Like this: "Let's get together and no each other." True story . . .

Lovefest, you're certainly allowed to have your own opinion. However I, and the vast majority of scientists, disagree with you on this. You point to cigarettes, and say that they were considered 'safe'. We now know we were lied to.

Adamgunn - I find your posts to be really thoughtful and useful. I appreciate you and your posts. However, this post makes a lot of assumptions about someone who doesn't vaccinate, me included. I take my health very seriously and would put this 58 year old body and health against anyone on this board. I can see why someone who is vaccinated would want all others to be as well, since the virus is not being killed off, the vaccine just reduces the level of sickness, meaning vaccinated people can and do still get COVID. I prefer to let my system fight all viruses on its own. I also don't do a flu shot, same reason. I am aware of the risks, and it's probably our genetic makeup as well as our overall health that determines the net effect of COVID so what might happen to me if I contract COVID is up in the air. I would like to point out to everyone, that we really don't know the long term effects of these vaccines. The time and level of testing is simply not adequate to understand the implications of them. Time is necessary to better understand any and all implications of drugs/vaccines/food/toxins/etc etc. As we move forward as a society we are ingesting a greater and greater number of chemicals (vaccines) every year. There has to be some implications. So, I choose to wait and see. One example, cigarettes were considered absolutely safe back in the day. Dr's told us as much in commercials. It took many many years for the negative affects to be understood and many many more to get the widely publicized. I am fine and support anyone that wants to be vaccinated, but I won't do so myself. I think that's my right. If that means I can't play with certain couples, I'm okay with that, so no judgement of those that require vaccines of their play partners.

We have had lifestyle couples open vanilla pictures with their parents, children, etc. Do you really want to post your family on a lifestyle site? I think that Facebook culture has broken down all sense of privacy and propriety.

We prefer to play with committed swingers over cheating spouses. We hope to avoid the vengeful cheated on spouse discovering us and breaking up our fun. There are a lot of hot tempered people out there who are willing to do harsh things. We don’t want to do unethical things and contribute to the demise of marriages. There are plenty of consenting swingers.

Good topic! I think we need to be vaccinated. Protect ourselves.

He got his 2nd shot Tuesday and spent 24 hours with a 101 fever (breaks with Tylenol). Bleh. She has had shot one. We have played with non-vaxxed so far and been fine, but we hope everyone get there.

The perfect place for you guys to try is Hedonism 2 in Negril, Jamaica. My wife and I went there for the first time 11 years ago, and we are now looking forward to trip number 23 in October. There is lots of info about it online. You can go to the clothing optional areas or the nude areas. The food is good, entertainment is excellent, the staff is wonderful, the weather is usually perfect. There are all kinds of activities, and all are included. The all-inclusive includes all kinds of food, all alcohol, water sports such as scuba, snorkeling, and kayaking. There are tennis courts and a tennis pro. A nice gym of that's something you're into. You can sit on the beach and stay to yourself, or join the party. It is easy to make friends with all kinds of people, all shapes, ages, and sizes, from all over. Most all people are very respectful, some in the lifestyle, and some not, but there is never any pressure to do anything you don't want to. However, there is the opportunity to play with others, threesomes, foursomes, or more somes. Go to the Hedonism website, look at the groups going during various weeks and check out their websites, decide when you want to go and which group interests you. You will have the best vacation of your lives and will be making plans to return as soon as you get home. Good luck!

That is why we try to treat every question as real. Even if the original poster turns out to just be looking for a cheap thrill (not saying that you are, just talking in general) there may be someone later who comes by and finds the advice helpful. We hear you about the FWB and one night stands but swinging has never been mainstream. Maybe a tributary during the late '60's/early 70's, but never mainstream. There are guys out there, you just need to keep looking. Referring back to what Idaho said: The best way to catch a fish is to first find a lake that HAS the right fish. Start with meet and greets or a swingers club. Trust me, you will have NO PROBLEM making friends. Just make sure that you vet them and never settle. You hold the cards here and should be able to find exactly what you want. It just takes some time, effort and patience. Now, did you ever take off your clothes and assume the position?

"Wanna have sex?" "No" Now you no me.

I'm sorry that you feel that way. I am actually 21 and this is my situation. I'm not sure how old you are but the generation z culture does not like swinging. They are into one night stands fwbs and monogomous dating. Swinging is not mainstream anymore.

I have friends on dating sites who say they can’t believe how stupid some guys are. You would think they would want to make an impression. I would definitely No him.

We were with friends this past weekend. I credit her as my first, my first threesome and my first bisexual experience. She was my introduction into swinging and give her credit indirectly for me being married to my wonderful husband. She came with her current boyfriend, not the guy who she was with years ago for our threesome. I had seen her many times at parties on football weekends up at school. This is the first time in years that she has come to visit us and it was fun to talk about that first time when we shared a bed in a hotel because of a snow storm and I woke up with her nudging my legs apart and her mouth attacking me.

Getting to no you, getting to no all about you. I would hate to see this guy’s resume.

I got a text response but I needed more so I called her. She claims she told me about her friend when we met, something I don’t remember if she did 2 years ago. She said she had a friend who went to my gym, again I don’t remember. I asked why didn’t she and her husband play with her friend and she said she tried alone and it didn’t work out. Her friend, the one at my gym, couldn’t do it. We then got into a discussion about turning 50 and changes we go through and the pandemic and what we have been doing. I told her we keep our private life private and I hate that too many people know what we do and she apologized and said she should have reached out not knowing both me and her friend would be at the gym at the same time. She swore nobody was stalking me, she thinks her friend just built up her nerve to approach me. Then she thanked me for being so nice when we met knowing how scared she was. Alan suggested I talk to the gym friend.

Stop overthinking it (that's my job ). Just accept it and know as long as you keep the communication open, there shouldn't be anything to worry about. It's just good times and fun, accept it.

Maybe. In my relationship/marriage now in its 42 year and we're in our late 50's I've learned a few things, literally growing up together. One is that there are things that others get in their relationships that I don't 'get' in mine and vis a versa. Some good, lots bad. I try to focus on what I have, not what I don't have and sometimes that's hard. But in the end the pluses have always outweighed the minuses. I assume she feels the same. She has had mind blowing sex with strangers. Flirted with them in ways she hasn't with me for years. Dressed and opened herself in ways I'd never experienced. That's okay! I find it fascinating and exciting. As an example, she doesn't do anal. But if she did with a 'lover', I'd be surprised and maybe a little hurt at first, but not for long. It's just fucking anal. It's just a fucking blowjob. Sayre's law tells us that "in any dispute the intensity of feeling is inversely proportional to the value of the issues at stake." Look for the positive, try not to draw lines in the sand, be open to possibilities and remember this is all just a hobby. If it stops being fun, find a new hobby and love each other.

Exactly. Which is why the new member who repeatedly proved they were just here to stir up trouble is no longer with us. Those posts have been removed so we can get back to the subject at hand without all the drama and personal attacks.

What Idahocouple said is a home run. There are hundreds...thousands of guys that are looking for someone JUST LIKE YOU. You get to choose the one you want, all you need to do is find him. Best place to catch a fish is to go where the fish already are (in this case: meet and greets or swingers clubs if they are open near you). Do not settle since you may be fishing in a somewhat smaller pond, there are WAY more male fish than female. As already pointed out, you, in the L/S, are called a unicorn (single female swinger) because women like you are more rare than finding a unicorn. Kind of funny, but when I think about the 'younger crowd' today, I think of them being much more liberal and sexually open than when I was 'that age'. Hooking up isn't a big deal now and it sounds like threesomes are becoming much more common. Then again, when I was young(er), the older folks probably thought the same thing about my age group. Unfortunately, I was of that group that just missed 'free love' and arrived just as AIDS became known. No wild sex parties for me (then, at least). The three things you NEED to be a successful swinger is that you and your partner need an abundance of love, trust, and communication. Love and trust takes time to fully develop, so if you see any developing, either address them immediately or move along to the next person. Knowing that these three things are so important should make it easier to keep your eyes open for what you are looking for. Don't settle (then again these work for ALL relationships: love/trust/communication and not settling). Anyways, let us know how things are going for you, come back as other questions arise, and we wish you luck.

Well, well... a unicorn. Maybe tomorrow will be visited by a leprechaun, too ?

Doesn't answer your question directly, but for us among friends and the more plentiful acquaintances (which may be a couple we met an hour ago), we have used the slow, incremental approach, letting the women control it. Sex talk, clothing off, touching, my wife would provide an opening for the other woman to respond to and see what happens. In most cases the guy would be more in the role of just approving or holding back, not exploring the limits. For example, the girls talk back and forth until they agree to go topless. Daniela gets the approval from his wife to put her tits within reach of her husband. The three of them can play feelies until the other couple both make it clear that I can touch his wife. Things can move quickly, slowly, or not at all. The goal is that wherever it ends up, no one feels pushed or has regrets.

Many years ago I had an event that lets say removed all doubt that God does indeed exist. I will also tell you that same event "educated" me on what is going on. This is my opinion and what I now believe so please, no flame throwers, you have your opinion too. First, God may be perfect but you do recognize flaws in what he created that may not really be his fault. God made Adam and Eve. They had children which would also breed each other and so on. Incest is bad because of the result of children with defects and the mental harm it causes and man recognized that. Thankfully he gave us the ability to observe and reason to figure that out. Second, Christ died on the cross for all of our sins and removed from us the need to carry guilt and shame around. Sex was made sin by man, not God. Guilt and shame fill collection plates and one must only look at how the Vatican was funded to see that. It caused Martin Luther to break with the church and create his own level of shame and guilt. Men have been taking on multiple woman since the beginning of recorded time. A quick list of all the "men of God" that had multiple wives and slaves is as follows: Abdon, Abijah, Abraham, Ahab, Ahasuerus, Ashur, Belshazzar, Benhadad, Caleb, David, Eliphaz, Elkanah, Esau, Ezra, Gideon, Heman, Hosea, Ibzan, Issachar, Jacob, Jair, Jehoiachin, Jehoram, Jerahmeel, Joash Lamech, Machir, Manasseh, Mered Moses, Nahor, Rehoboam, Saul, Shaharaim, Shimei, Simeon, Solomon, Terah, Zedekiah, and Ziba. Only in the new testament that was hacked by man did things change. Proof that man made the changes are the fact of the Councils that hacked it left out books / gospels that did not meet their ends or were written by woman. The Muratorian Canon, which was compiled in AD 170. The Muratorian Canon included all of the New Testament books except Hebrews, James, 1 and 2 Peter, and 3 John. In AD 363, the Council of Laodicea stated that only the Old Testament (along with one book of the Apocrypha) and 26 books of the New Testament (everything but Revelation) were canonical and to be read in the churches. The Council of Hippo (AD 393) and the Council of Carthage (AD 397) also affirmed the same 27 books as authoritative. There is a long history of man changing the word of God to meet their own ends. Look at the number of different bibles that exist! The one issue that I feel should concern all women is that every text, Jewish, Christian, Islamic, and Mormon demand they obey their husbands in all things. That may be a question on their "final" exam.

I think that you are off base. I think what is happening is very clear. A very contagious novel disease is infecting millions and killing hundreds of thousands in this country. There is no cure or vaccine for it. If you are older and have a pre-existing condition like diabetes or obesity or an immunological problem, you are more likely to have a severe case. People with no symptoms can transmit it. If you wear a mask, socially distance and avoid crowded indoor places like bars, restaurants and gyms, you are less likely to contract it. These are simple, scientifically discovered facts. Conspiracy theories are entertaining, but ultimately unfulfilling.

U guys seem great. Honey just goes to the honey pot when we are with a first time player.