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Yeah, this is sex for sport and your equipment needs to be cared-for - you'd never see an NBA player take the court wearing a pair of ratty-old work-boots, right? Take pride in your game, being clean and kept matters to your performance.

Yes, even the conservative well dressed businessman can take advantage. We knew the Eagle fans would be difficult, psychologically I was prepared for hard sex, rough sex. It never got to the point where we said never again.

We looked for no younger than 30 at football games and 40s at hotel bars during business meetings. Picking up men was much harder to do, a lot of talk and flirting. I enjoyed dressing for the part. Telling them about a husband watching was a deal breaker many times. At after game hotel pickups we always found willing guys. Most of the time it was guys away on a guys weekend. I would wear my Giants jersey and flirt. It was also fun to have Mike with me when I was flirting. We were at a Cowboys game and I flirted with two guys and when I asked if they wanted to party they said can they invite friends up to the room. I am not into being with multi men, I know others look for gangbangs, I don’t. It ended up just two came up and then a third friend came later.

It’s like a Buckeye showing up at one of our PSU games. I heard Eagle fans are the absolute worst fans.

Eagles fans threw snowballs at Santa Claus. Their last stadium had a jail in it. I would run the other way. Signed, a Giants fan who has seen many Eagles fans.

Bringing up memories when posting this, it happened years ago when we first started looking. Businessmen you would think are safer and then sex brings out a different side. The football fans were Eagle fans if I remember and that was the first risk. I didn’t know about the second one until I asked the first one and he told me had a friend. The second one was better looking I remember. They weren’t drunk drunk, they did try to be studs. Rough show offs. I handled it and even with my husband there they tried stuff. I am sure neither had ever been in a threesome.

We have seen two instances of aggressive, but consensual, ass slapping at a couple of house parties. But we’ve otherwise seen little of rough sex and we have never experienced it. Nor do we want to. I guess we have a different concept of sex than some people.

NoAngels, That is a dynamic I had not considered. It's seems the evolution of a couples journey and how people feel as they progress varies widely. For me it seems like seeing the Grand Canynon for the first time. People have all these amazing descriptions of its beauty, but until you see it for yourself in person, you can't understand what that beauty will mean for you or how you will respond.

If the idea is for to have fun, let her do it alone. For many years we both had affairs, affairs with knowledge by the other. I didn’t need to watch her, didn’t need her to watch me. She enjoyed meeting married men with no thought of having ongoing relationships. At first we only had knowledge and no details were talked about, then we shared experiences. Funny how our wants were not that far apart, she enjoyed new experiences and the opportunities to be uninhabited in bed. She registered on cheater sites and she told me she always told the men she met that she was married and not looking for anything long term. We did do something very similar in meeting new partners. I travel for business and had affairs in different cities with women I met either in business settings or randomly at hotels. She had on occasion gone to local business conventions looking to be picked up. She said convention sex was a once and done, one night with a stranger. The down side of stranger sex is that not all meetings live up to expectations. When we started to meet couples together the sex was not the same as alone. It was exciting to watch her, not as great having her watch me. I tell her to ignore me and enjoy, I can’t ignore her. Swinging did add a new ripple for us, adding a woman.

No undies since long ago in Viet Nam.

We do not look at ourselves, we are sensed by our partners: grooming decisions are therefore made on their behalf. We prefer smooth as a matter of grooming simplicity. We acknowledge that our choice of shaving smooth requires daily upkeep. We view that as neither problematic nor inconvenient: we always shower before getting dressed for a date, and shaving is part of the prep ritual.

I agree that sex can bring out different sides of people. Some of the nicest and shyest people I know were not so nice or shy in their sexual life. I've also seen the rough show offs many times especially in a group dynamic with several guys constantly pushing the boundaries like they are trying to prove something to one another.

If you have not seen it yet, I recommend the movie Silver Linings Playbook with Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence. Good movie. One of the subplots is the bad behavior of Eagles fans.

Depending on your age range, bars that cater to graduate students aren't bad for this kind of thing, either. Most are single, most are enthusiastic, and most know how to act reasonable. It's not too difficult in a college town to see which venues cater to 21-year-olds and which ones cater to 27-year-olds. We've tried to avoid the "he's over there" situation, because it falls apart 80% of the time. We've found that getting a conversation going and then gently signaling what's up physically saves time. If she has her hand on his knee and gives me a kiss and he doesn't excuse himself, we might have a winner. If he does, we probably saved ourselves twenty minutes. That's just us, though, and I expect the social dynamic will be different in a lot of places post-pandemic.

I do enjoy being with my girlfriends but it’s not based on breast size. If you want to know what size I find attractive, I am thinking B/C. I don’t understand the attraction to DD or bigger. Again, I think there is much more that attracts me other than breast size. My best friend is larger and I love her to death. I would play with alone, with my husband, with our guy friend or all together. Lol, I Do!!!

I laugh when someone says “chilly?” When I was younger I cried about being small, now I am happy after seeing friends complaining about back pain and seeing strap indents on shoulders. My best friend is much bigger and when my husband plays with her he does enjoy sliding between them something we never do.

I always wore panties of some sort growing up. I think it was for health reasons, I thought. I later learned it was healthier to not wear. I went through phases growing up, cotton underwear at Target with prints. I switched to Victoria Secrets in HS and dating. I had some sexy underwear and then realized guys don’t care, they just wanted them off. I think I wanted panty lines because it gave me shape and then I wore thongs for no lines. A friend once told me my panty lines were horrible and said she never wore underwear. I stopped wearing and then my mom asked me why there wasn’t underwear in the wash. Now I don’t wear if I am wearing jeans or shorts. I wear if skirt or dress. Bra, yes at work or dressy, no if just going out. Don’t think people notice, I’m an A. My husband wears black boxer briefs all the time. I have suggested commando but he doesn’t like the feeling. Happy he does wear. I still enjoy popping it out. Never gets unexciting to do it and that goes for any guy I’m with. I still enjoy the thrill of undressing a guy... or girlfriend

I wouldn't object to THAT in the least!!!!!!!

Mrs Doc wears bra and panties for work each day. They hit the laundry basket within 10 minutes of her walking in the door. At home, no, never!! Depending on the outfit, she will wear a bra when we go out socially but she and I both prefer a sundress (ONLY a sundress) and heels.

This is a very thoughtful essay. Something from the essay to echo, that which makes a consensual non-monogamous marriage work is likely to make any marriage work.