Leaderboard

Concur with others; don't play with someone you're not attracted to. It's not worth it. Would you date someone you're not attracted to? Of course not. Same applies in swinging. Plus, if you're not attracted to them, the sex isn't going to be very good either. What's the point?

Hello from the South Bay! My advice, like everyone else's, is to take things slowly and talk things out beforehand. I started in the lifestyle with my wife at the time, then as a single man, and now with a gf - so I feel as though I've been a newbie 3 different times, and each time has been wildly different. For me the best way to avoid jealousy has been the conversations we've had long before deciding to do anything. Talking things out, exploring fantasies without anyone else in the room, figuring out what's of interest, what's not, what's crossing the line - builds a trust between you that enhances your relationship. The more you talk, the more you find out about your partner and the tighter your bond is, to the point that when you do eventually put your hat in the ring, jealousy is the last thing on your mind.

I have always felt that swinging together makes it a shared experience that is good for the marriage while swinging alone can easily lead to romantic relationships that can destroy the marriage. When you and your wife have an MFM the guest guy knows (or should know) that he is there for the entertainment of your wife and you, and that is all. When he is with your wife alone that is like a date and his natural role is to romance her in addition to pleasing her sexually.

We had been thinking about this overall scenario as well, but hadn’t considered the success percentage rate till now. Visiting a club clearly seems to be the better option with the most opportunity for a successful meeting with likeminded couples. Definitely something to weigh going forward.

We worried about it before, but had no jealousy when we had our first swaps. A good initial test is to go to a swingers’ club and only play among your selves and watch and be watched. Once in that atmosphere, you will have a better idea of whether this is doable or a bridge too far. The only real way to know is to exchange partners. If your wife tries it and cannot stand it, she doesn’t have to do it again. It is not a world ending experience. Of course, if she is militantly against a swap, don’t push it.