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We've seen this many, many times from new swingers. It is very common for a woman getting into swinging to find fault with her weight, appearance, etc. I can't tell you how many times I've seen this. Our society places enormous pressure on women for their looks, weight, clothes, etc. It's all bunk. The swinging world is made up of people of all shapes and sizes. Your wife can't control whether people find her attractive or not. It's not up to her. All she can do is but her best foot forward. If another couple or guy doesn't find her attractive, so be it. On to the next. As for swinging in general; now that you're talking about it, you need to have lots of conversations about it both in and OUTside of the bedroom. This is an important relationship step. Being turned on by it is pretty much a given (for most, anyway). Being ready to do it is quite another. Talk with your wife about this, about feelings, thoughts, situations, rules, needs, desires, etc. Rushing into it works for some couples but not most. This applies to her AND you. Being aroused by the fantasy of watching your wife have sex with another man is one thing; reality could be another. I find it intensely enjoyable, but some men don't react quite the same when presented with reality.

It really comes down to what you want. For my wife and I, exclusivity means being able to play without condoms. With new people, we play with condoms. My wife has had a couple of long term boyfriends with whom she was exclusive (besides me of course) for a while. That allowed for bareback, which she far, far prefers to condoms. Both were good arrangements, with many play sessions over a few years. We were happy to give up the variety in exchange for a sex partner for her with whom she could play bareback. This was really mainly because both sex partners were really good for her. Neither of us wanted to have her break it off with a guy she really enjoyed having sex with because of a desire for variety or concerns over becoming too emotionally tied together. We're not poly, but also not averse to emotions developing. You need to consider the emotional impact of playing exclusively. The more you play with someone, the more likely it is you will develop emotions for them. Are the two of you ready for that? If you haven't discussed it, you need to. My wife developed emotions for both of her long term play partners. We talked about that beforehand, and it was ok with us so long as we kept our communication completely open and our relationship was stable and still primary. So, are the two of you ok with not having new partners for the foreseeable future and are you ok with the idea of emotions developing? If so, then go for it. There are rewards in having an exclusive partner.

Don’t get too hung up on body part shapes and sizes. You’ll have more fun with nice, considerate partners.

The only person we will be exclusive with is each other. Not to say we won’t play with the same people more then once and have before, but we would not make that commitment to anyone else. We are not poly.

We went through the whole pandemic in a closed mfm situation and it was great. Our 2nd covid shots are this week, so while we will def stick with our friend we will also start to open our circle a little.

i see the point about trust. As careful as you can be there still is risk. nevertheless, I would be totally down to party like that because of the randomness of it all. I would walk in with nothing but a condom on ready to get down with whomever that wanted some.

1. Amen to the "kitchen table" conversation. 2. Age, size, body parts, skin tone...what matter is how the other person makes you feel and vice versa. It turns out that the key organ is the one between the ears.

Some really good advice. I always recommed having a kitchen table discussion. NOT pillows talk. When you both sit there and can reveal all of your fantasies and i mean all of them. Then you are ready to lay out you your boundaries. Excellent 2 way conversations are the only way to get where you want to go. You see posts on sls all the time for people looking for specific types of people

First: talk with her outside of a sexual situation. Just sit down with her and ask. If you don't feel that you can do this, it's usually because you don't have a strong enough relationship. If that is the case, then the first step is to build the relationship. Swinging REQUIRES an abundance of love, trust and communication. Make sure that you have all three of these in ABUNDANCE. Usually the easiest way to start this conversation is to start talking about your sexual fantasies (once again, outside of a sexual situation). She needs to trust you enough and communicate well enough to know that whatever she says will not be judged by you, but accepted as the gift it is. Once you BOTH share your fantasies, then you can ask if she is interested in making any of them come true. This is a second big step because a fantasy is pretend and some people cannot make the jump into making it a reality. Remember, not everyone (in fact, very few) are 'wired' in such a way where they can accept swinging. If she is one of the majority, then you need to let this fantasy go...she may not (as in probably won't ever) change. If you can make it to this point and everything is still going great, then come back and we will take you thru the next steps. Good luck and let us know how things are going.

Nothing ventured nothing gained. None of us would be involved in the Lifestyle if we never broached the subject with our spouses. Usually it starts as pillow talk, that may lead to an exploratory trip to a swing club... approach it as an adventure you want to share together, listen carefully to her feelings on the subject and never come across as pushy about the idea.

The way to start is to talk to her openly about it! If you can’t do that with each other then there isn’t a next step to take.

Now you can party with them and the original friends.