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In our closed group of married couples, the wives are all on birth control and we don't play outside the group, so blast away is our attitude. We all like it better bareback.

The 'best' one is the one that has the most people in your area. SLS, SDC, Kasadie are the three biggest. Create a free profile on each, do a search, find out how many matches there are for you. That's the 'best' one for you.

My thinking is that if a guy puts his penis in me or on me, he is likely to orgasm and ejaculate into or on me. To think otherwise is foolish as it goes against male instinct. In fact, I would be disappointed if a guy was in me and didn't cum; I would feel I didn't do a good job and miss having those little swimmers living inside me as guests for a few days. The only time that happens is when it's the guy's second or third round and he just can't get himself to orgasm.

A couple years ago, my wife of 13 years went on a cruise with a bunch of ladies. She is in her early 30’s and is beautiful. She is about 5’4, 135 pounds, dirty blonde hair, great breasts (C cup), plump ass, and her legs look amazing (especially when she’s in heels). She is a great woman and an awesome mom to our kids and I would never worry about her cheating. But I do know she has a kinky, sexy side to her, especially when music and alcohol is involved. Just watching her dance turns me on (and probably every other guy around). Like I said, a few years ago, she went on a cruise with a bunch of other ladies her age (during spring break) and I found out that there was a group of younger guys who a took a “liking” to my wife’s group of women. I can see why, as my wife bought some super sexy rompers and bikinis that flatter her breast’s and ass very well. Anyway, when she got back I noticed one of the guys had friended her on Instagram. I also was told she was dancing pretty provocative at the club on the cruise and know that these guys were around, as I saw my wife in the background of some of these pics. I know she was wearing some very risqué clothing and was in a sexy bikini quite a bit. I instantly got excited thinking of the possibility of my wife Grinding on these guys while they were on the dance floor. I found myself hoping that she might have hooked up with some of these guys, not that she was intentionally trying to cheat on me, but I maybe she had a few too much to drink, they were grinding on the dance floor, the guy was rubbing up against my wife and kissing on her neck and secretly I hoped that maybe they went back to the room and had a random night of crazy sex. I find myself thinking of this often and fantasizing about it during our sex. My question is, is it unreasonable to think that this could have happened? And two, how do I bring it up that it turns me on at the thought that it might have happened?

I am not big fan of anal, for me is hard and a matter of physics, I am only 5’2”, however we have had some of the most memorable and erotic moments when having anal sex in front of my husband. We are lucky we have a friend-couple that are “experts in the matter” (DP is one of their favourites and my husband gladly helps everytime) so the male-friend has the patience and commitment to coaching me. I love to put on a good show and provide tons of dirty talk in the process for everybody.

We've seen this many, many times from new swingers. It is very common for a woman getting into swinging to find fault with her weight, appearance, etc. I can't tell you how many times I've seen this. Our society places enormous pressure on women for their looks, weight, clothes, etc. It's all bunk. The swinging world is made up of people of all shapes and sizes. Your wife can't control whether people find her attractive or not. It's not up to her. All she can do is but her best foot forward. If another couple or guy doesn't find her attractive, so be it. On to the next. As for swinging in general; now that you're talking about it, you need to have lots of conversations about it both in and OUTside of the bedroom. This is an important relationship step. Being turned on by it is pretty much a given (for most, anyway). Being ready to do it is quite another. Talk with your wife about this, about feelings, thoughts, situations, rules, needs, desires, etc. Rushing into it works for some couples but not most. This applies to her AND you. Being aroused by the fantasy of watching your wife have sex with another man is one thing; reality could be another. I find it intensely enjoyable, but some men don't react quite the same when presented with reality.

We have a rule as well that says: Once is a mistake, twice is an 'on purpose'...because you didn't learn anything from the first mistake and made no changes to prevent it from happening again. We will add your rule to ours (it was implied, but now will become part of the rule), but we still believe that when you make a mistake, you need to try and prevent the same thing from happening again.

What got me to enjoy anal is that I started with a guy whose penis is much more slender than my husband's. So find the right slender-dick, patient guy who otherwise turns her on. Ultimately for me, however, anal is enjoyable but doesn't get me to orgasm. I either give it after I've had my Os, or in doing DP, which for me is wonderful.

A vist to a swingers club will take care of her weight fears. It's not just the 'beautiful people' who are there...it looks pretty much just like the people you would see at the market. All shapes, sizes and colors and they all can find people interested in them. However, this has also motivated others to improve themselves as well (worked for both of us). Also, now that you have taken the first step, the next step is to set your limits and boundaries, whatever they may be. Keep in mind that these will be a fluid, ever changing thing, however, never exceed them once set and the only time they can be modified is outside of a sexual situation and only if both of you agrees on the new settings.

My thinking is that if a guy puts his penis in me or on me, he is likely to orgasm and ejaculate into or on me. To think otherwise is foolish as it goes against male instinct. In fact, I would be disappointed if a guy was in me and didn't cum; I would feel I didn't do a good job and miss having those little swimmers living inside me as guests for a few days. The only time that happens is when it's the guy's second or third round and he just can't get himself to orgasm. And that's almost always when it's a repeat performance with me instead if coming to me from a different woman.

My wife and I both like the visual of a sloppy vagina, and having messy reclaiming aex.

For the last year our primary play has been with my gf and my husband’s best friend, both of whom we have played with for several years. Both my gf and I are on BC and are educated enough to understand the risks of disease. From the very beginning I made it understood that our friend wouldn’t have to stop or withdraw as I would hope he wouldn’t stop just as I was about to orgasm. My husband has the same understanding with my best friend.

If both get tested before having unprotected sex then theres no need to worry about diseases. As long as you trust the person who is single (or even couple) to be very careful when they sleep with someone else. We can all type a book on how we judge people in figuring out how we decide on whether a person is trustworthy or not. Its like me and Hayley, on the odd occasion we/she might do something very risky - when she has had unprotected sex with a stranger. We refuse to have unprotected sex with anyone else for at least 3 months just in case so that no one else's safety is at risk. Hayley used to get checked up every 4-6 weeks when she used to work as a lapdancer/escort. When she was 18-20 she used to work at a popular massage parlour two days a week, on average she would see 10 men every day thats about 1000 men per year just at that brothel so 2-3000 men? add the odd men from doing extra's at the strip club, lets say a total of 3500? At age 21-24 she was escorting, average i think she said 5 men per week, plus however many in her private life including gangbang parties with 5-25 men at each, total nearly 1000? Total 4500 with when she was 18-20. Age 25-26 (now) id say about 50-100 that i know of or suspect. So at the age of 26 she's been with approx 4000-5000 men? She has only ever caught: Molluscum Contagiosum - once around her pubic area, which isnt even classed as a typical sexually transmitted infection. She didnt have sex for two months. Of all those men she think's she has had unprotected sex with about 100-200 of them. The biggest risk she has ever done is at a gangbang advertised as bareback where about 20 men turned up, half of them didnt use condoms for sex. The majority men she hasnt use condoms for giving blowjobs to. We've known a lot of other people with similar backgrounds, never caught anything serious. Some people just seem to say it to scare people into not having sex or just plain encourage you to always use condoms no matter what. We've known a woman who has been with easily over 5000 men in her time she's aged 31, most without condoms at gangbang parties. Yet she has never caught anything since doing the gangbangs 10 years ago... all sounds unbelievable to someone who hasnt slept around much, and im surprised myself at those kind of figures considering all the stories you hear about STD's are on the increase and how someone who has had a one night stand already caught something. Personally ive only been with about 50 women, about half were without condoms, ive been checked up 10-12 times - results have always been clean.

Birth control isn't perfect; in fact it's not that great at all. A combination of female birth control and condoms offers the best protection against getting pregnant. Using the pull out method as birth control isn't very good, but if the choices are: - Go bareback, she is on birth control, he cums inside of her. - Go bareback, she is on birth control, he doesn't cum inside of her. You will have better chances of not getting pregnant if he doesn't cum inside of her. If pregnancy is the concern I would suggest you don't do bareback at all though.

A couple of points to add 1. From my understanding, the risk of disease transmission and pregnancy is significantly lower from precut than full ejaculation. Therefore, the rule of bareback but no cumming inside may not be totally nuts ( I don't think it is a great idea, but it is not rediculous. 2. On the issue of whether you should be upset, I think you really need to unpack why you are upset. In my mind, the fact that he came inside your wife and the fact that she may have lied about it are pretty minor transgressions. If you allow someone to go bareback while DPing people can get carried away and accidents happen. As for her lie, I would give her the benefit of the doubt - if she was not sure whether he came or not (and I bet she was unsure given she was already full of your gunk and had likely cum a few times herself, it is likely she suspended disbelief a little and convinced herself he did not cum inside her. In my experience, when you are in the heat of a super hot sexual experience, the events blur a bit and recollect is imperfect. So, if you buy my argument that what she did is actually kind of minor, I think you need to figure out why it has upset you so. This is likely more complex

Some good comments so far. You were still inside of her and you didn't know so it's entirely possible she didn't either. But if she did maybe she kept it from you because she knew how you would react? Talk about it without judgement and move on.

OK, a couple of issues here... 1) Trust. Either you trust your wife, and therefore believe that she did not know if he came in her or not, or you don't. If you don't, I think you need to stop swinging until you reestablish the trust. 2) Biology... there is semen flowing from a man's erect penis long before he ejaculates. Therefore, by allowing a man to place his unprotected erect penis in your wife, you are allowing him to put his semen in her. This is a reason the "pull out" method of birth control doesn't work. Allowing a man to fuck your wife unprotected but requiring that he pull out before ejaculation is a little absurd, IMO. I think you need to serious reevaluate your rules here. If you don't want him to cum in your wife, make him wear a condom. If you don't want him to ware a condom, accept that he has cum in your wife.