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You are new and still finding out what you enjoy, don’t rush, sex isn’t going away. Some couples enjoy big crowds, some like parties and some enjoy one on one with a special couple or in your case, friends. The third couple saw your relationship with your friends and allowed you to have fun with them instead of diverting your play to them. I’m sure they didn’t mind enjoying you having fun. The third couple knew when to get involved and when to let the play continue naturally. My guess is if they felt left out they would have told you. You now have that special connection with your good friends, make sure to protect your friendship and be mindful they are on the same new path as you. I normally approach the wife if things slow down and lead her to the third man, letting the husbands play with the other woman. Believe some men are happy to just watch.

A few weeks ago we celebrated EMS appreciation day at a local ER with frequent at work. Chit chat, food nothing super exciting. During the free time we had a Doc that we both know was chatting a bit with the two of us and being a tad bit flirty but nothing to obvious. We talked a good bit about this and that and at the end of the day we decided to grab a few drinks at a bar near by. My husband and I and his Wife and him. We had a pretty good evening and as we were talking one of the apps we use for meeting popped up on my phone. I quickly grabbed my phone but to late as he said the name of the app and kinda half smiled at me. We chatted with our partners and decided to depart for the evening. My husband with his wife and I with him. We went to his place for cocktails and time in the pool and hot tub. It was a very eventful and unexpected time for sure but well worth it. We exchange quirky smiles from time to time in the ER now. Goes to show you how many people embrace the lifestyle that you would never expect. Even the people you least expect can be down to earth and fun loving and that is refreshing in today's times.

I am not a club person, much rather spend an evening with another couple.

This is what we see. We have done gang bangs. The men are respectful to both of us. I am there to run things. We don't get the humiliation etc but I guess it if it someone's kink it is.

Our first Party with two other couples was strange. Several months ago we met a couple that guided us around the bumps of a first swing. We are so grateful we met this couple who were patient with our stop and go signals. I let my bestie know what Rock and I did and that led them to wanting to be with us. It left me in a predicament, Rock said he wanted to and I felt strange. Friends? Being the ones to do it and screwing up? Messing up a friendship. I hooked our friend up with our first couple and now they are good friends. We did finally play with our friends, a crazy fun giggly time. Went pretty well with full sex, the hardest silliest part was me and my bestie putting on a scene for the men. Me and Bestie can’t stop talking about our mentors. Bestie has become close with our new friend and asked her to join us at the beach this last weekend, weather didn’t cooperate and we all went to my place for a bbq. Starting to play we all looked to how starting, who would play with who. Our new friends suggested that she would start watching us play. Things were fun, just strange with a third couple and getting us all to play. I feel third couple didn’t feel left out, they are very giving. I just don’t know how three couples play getting everyone involved together.

We will go to clubs occasionally when one is available, but if it's a couples only venue.......... The places that let lots or really any single men in are not of interest t o us.. Jule and Robb

We didn’t get the invite ? The more you play the more things come naturally. You won’t have to worry about who does what to who. Mike and I enjoy the smaller parties, 2 ,3 or 4 couples or even an extra man or two. I enjoy being with 2 men, Mike enjoys 2 women, so 3 couples are perfect for us. I forgot to welcome you Rockland, to the board and the fun.

music, yes. We've had gatherings where we had loud, pumping music. Almost able to channel the beat while having sex. It was great, a total physical experience where the sex was only part.

Seems like you sort of got your start the same way we did. We haven't seen our two couples - together or separately - since 2019, but you'll get the hang of this pretty quickly. adamgunn above is 100% on-target that having a third couple's energy in the room helps keep things going. It's often the case that a member of one or more couple is ready to take a break, or that six people want to break up into two groups, and then two different groups later. We intentionally booked two queen beds instead of a king for these types of meetups.

My gf and I have been going to a swingers club for the last two months, and that's all we've done so far. We have sex in the group sex rooms, but just stay to ourselves. We love it as it is, but will probably slowly expand our activities. I don't think either of us has the desire to swap partners though.

I often write about our first swap with a couple and my night alone with him. The next day I had a very uncomfortable bi experience, something I never wanted to do. I never had any sexual attraction to women and certainly had never planned to explore. As it was our first swing I just went along not wanting to ruin my experience from the night before. Over the years since that first time I have had contact with bi sex in very small doses. Normally it was done as part of another playtime thing. I became less afraid of being with a woman, still not giving totally to being bi. Our friend who we met on vacation years ago, our first and primary play partner was coming to NYC on business and said she was going to have free time and wanted to meet in the city for a Girl’s Day. She was on business and finished early and the weather was perfect. I agreed to meeting, we had become very good friends and I never spent time with her without our husbands. She booked a Mani/Pedi and massages for both of us. Her treat. Lunch outdoors in great restaurant, walking and talking. I always wondered if we were their first, I told her they were too relaxed that first time, she swore we were, they had agreed before the cruise that they would approach a couple. I told her how often I think about that night and how romantic her husband was. She told me they have played with others and she always thinks about her first also. A beautiful day, we had drinks at a rooftop bar and talked and talked. She mentioned that her hotel was great and invited me to stay the night. She read my body language as not being onboard, and said we would be alone, no putting on a show for the men. Give it a try, I could always leave. After big hesitant minutes, I gave into lust. My friend is a beautiful person, as romantic as her husband. With my inhibitions taken away, we made love for hours. Made love to a woman for our own benefit not for men watching us. I still don’t think I am bisexual, it was a magical day.

Pretty much agree with you, Rovaval. At our favorite club, they let a very few verified single men in every night, just one for every ten couples. The singles need to be controlled. Once in awhile, Mary will still be in the mood as the party's winding down - - that's when we find a courteous single man is of great value.

I joined just to ask a question. A long time ago (80's or 90's) I saw a TV show about swinging that I thought for sure said there was something similar to swinging but didn't involve swapping. Like a couple would meet another couple to have sex with their own partners but be able to watch the other couple and never touching each other. Is there a word for this? Does anyone even do this?

Hello me and husband are Interested but Don't want to swop just want fun

njbm.................. ain't that the truth,,,,,,,,,, watching and performing works for us........ we like casinos late at night and do have a couple of small stripper clubs that I like .. julie

Definitely. This is one of our top selections. Also the Led Zeppelin pandora station.

We've found that sixsomes (or more) tend to last longer than a foursome. A group of four people starts to wind down after an hour (more or less) then after a break a second round may start up. When there's more people involved the party just goes on and on. People can take a break as it suits them, refresh themselves. But it goes on as long as at least one woman is still interested.

Three couples can easily become: 3 couple swaps, a foursome(MFMF) and a couple(MF), 2 threesomes (MFM)+ (FMF), or a pile of six people. It can be a fluid situation with people taking a break, joining another 'group'.

I think that when we were newbies the sheer number of people at clubs was intimidating for both of us. Seeing basically an orgy was a turn on for both. A couple of years ago, we were in the Bliss cruise main playroom. We were next to each other, playing with swapped partners. People were grunting like elephants in heat and both myself and the other man had extreme difficulty performing. I like a quiet environment. Not even music.

We've been to official swing clubs in London, Texas, Nevada and Florida and only on couples nights. We went to watch and be watched and did not do any trading at all. Very educational! Julie and Robb

That never happened for us. My wife's play partners have been very respectful of me and somewhat envious that I have such a sexually powerful wife. It's the same now that we're swap swingers, but it's not so much on our minds since the situations are equal all around.

There are lots of flavors to the lifestyle. We participate in foursomes, gentle orgies, MFMs and from time to time she will solo. Each of them seems different to me emotionally. Speaking explicitly of hotwife activities, I'm extremely turned on when I'm there, watching her with another man. When she goes to another man's house, I'm thinking about her but not quite so aroused. But when she texts me with the message, 'wer'e done, I'm coming home,' my mind takes that as a signal that she's been screwed and I get tremendously hard waiting for her to get home. Not disagreeing, just giving another perspective.

To each their own, but for me it is almost as exciting for my wife to play with another man alone as it is together. You have to experience it to really understand but for me there is a greater psychological intensity when she plays alone, 1 on 1 with another man.

Absolutely this. Right before everything shut down, we had a busy travel schedule together for the winter. I'd been in touch on-and-off with a married woman in a committed relationship who wanted to have an encounter, and while we were on our way home, finally made it work with her to meet up solo at an airport hotel. She's a submissive with a breeding kink who likes to be physically dominated, and it overlapped with her husband's lack of interest in dominating her as a cuckold kink. All of those things interplay to create their personal "thing", I couldn't help her with all of that, because unprotected play is explicitly not our thing, but we found a compromise that worked. Is her husband a "true" or "classic" cuckold? I don't know, but it's a different dynamic from him being a dominant, a more useful way of explaining it so that I understood what was going on and could make sure they got what they were looking for, as opposed to what I might assume they're looking for.

First let's agree that the non monogamy is consensual - the woman is not cheating on her husband. They are both in agreement to her extramarital playtime. This makes them swingers as they are both participating in sexual play outside of their relationship (his participation is just passive). (Some will argue it's not swinging as he is not having sex but it is certainly 'lifestyle'.) And, in this setting an additional kink is layered on top. He typically wants to be diminished and or humiliated in some way - by her, her lovers, or both. This is his turn-on. He likes to be made to feel small. He could be teased about his manhood, his ability to satisfy his wife, his ability to get hard or the size of his cock. He might be caged and prevented from masturbating or getting any release until she allows it. He may or may not be present for play. He might be restrained or made to wear women's clothing. He may be "forced" to watch, make her lover hard or even clean up his mess... The cuckoldress may be turned on by treating her husband/partner this way as well. Most of these actions are not present in a "hot wife" scenario where the woman may play alone as well. There is also a "cuckold queen" dynamic where the above dynamic is reversed.

Thank you for sharing an experience. If you read my posts you know that I have been with women who are exploring a new experience. Almost all the women are having sex being watched by both their and my husband, not under the best circumstances to enjoy their own sexuality. I always concentrate on giving pleasure wanting a first experience to be memorable and positive. I’m not a therapist, I do enjoy talking after to the woman knowing it might be a life changing moment. It troubles me when they ask if they did right, did I enjoy, or they look to the husband for his approval. Being alone, no husbands or as I call them Sightseers is a different experience. My advice has always been to enjoy, it’s about them, not me. Be able to verbalize your likes, nobody knows exactly what feels good to you. I also know receiving is much easier for them, giving pleasure to a woman is alien to what has been learned. I normally guide them to places I enjoy being touched, externally and internally. Oral sex is the primary pleasure act even when toys are involved, it’s also the hardest act to start. If you can, you said your head was between her legs was a foreign experience, what went through your thoughts, what did you focus on, did she respond the way you wanted? I understand your want for a man, I enjoy men more as well and enjoy my man, this new part just adds to enjoyment. As I say to other women, don’t do anything because someone wants you to do it, do it because you want to do it. If you enjoyed her and think you will enjoy being with women, I say Enjoy! If you don’t enjoy, stop, I am sure you have tried other things once and never tried again.

You aren’t dense, you know what the difference is between sex with a man and sex with a woman. You enjoy sex with multi people, I enjoy being alone with one person. Sex with a man is very natural to me, something I have done my entire adult life. I know how to touch a man, I know what the men I have been with enjoy. I am still very new to pleasing another woman. It should come natural, I know what pleases me and try to replicate the things I respond to. I missed a man, a penis specifically. I know how to please a penis, how to touch a penis, how to orally caress a penis. I enjoy having a penis in me. Swapping has allowed me to enjoy the differences I had not enjoyed since marriage. I think most on here enjoy the newness of being with a different partner. The different touching, different scent, different taste and the different motions. My head between the legs of a woman is a foreign experience. I was looking at a body part differently than I ever did before. Differently than I ever saw my own. I saw this one before from this angle, just not the same way as this time, alone with her and not being watched. You would think you would know what to do distinctively.

I'm being dense, please explain. If it were me, I would miss having a man, either yours or one of mine. FFMs are my favorite. Having a second guy available is nice, but only after the first one leaves, which they can usually be persuaded to do after cumming.

The night with her was very similar to a night with her husband with one major difference. When we first met and we swapped husbands I had a hard time liking her. She didn’t do anything to make me dislike, I enjoyed my time with her before the swap. I wasn’t ready for sexual advances by a woman. I had a very difficult time responding and even harder time touching her. Over time they became very close friends, at a distance, and I love spending time with them. I am a drop more comfortable with her sexually, not totally loving it. The things we have done were always part of other play we all did. This was the first time alone with her, no help from the men. I had a good time, you can guess the thing I missed most.

I knew it when he screamed, “Yes Fuck ME, Fuck me in my ASS, Give me more COCK, fill me full of cum in both holes.” as he sucked one of our friends so hard he was yelping as was the guy who was fucking him bareback. My husband went along for the ride with me and bi couples we befriended over the many years, eventually giving a little here and there, until the day he did this. It still takes him a while to get to this point but he definitely gets there more often and in less time. There have also been a few times recently where I have gotten him so aroused kissing him after sucking some off that he latched on to a few of the guys without me even feeding them to him. And even though he never asks upfront for cock I know he loves it, as well as cum, and most definitely getting his ass cummed in. His orgasms are way to explosive for anyone not to love that. We have been very fortunate to have many extremely trust worthy friends who all get along smashingly.

This type of activity would fall under what we refer to as "soft swinging" which includes pretty much everything from this watching/being watched activity up to actually exchanging partners for everything short of sex.