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I think you're in dangerous waters. If this is a path she wants to take, supporting her and recognizing that it will be difficult and probably painful for her is the best you can do. However, and please forgive me, it sounds like you are the one driving here. That this is something you want to do... you say you want to do it for her and that's admirable, but is it really something she wants to do, or is she doing it for you? Only she can answer that honestly. Assuming that she is doing it for herself, even with the best intentions, you are almost certainly risking reopening wounds... and while healing those wounds is good, it probably won't be a fun, pleasurable experience for anyone at the start. Honestly, I think you'd be much better served investing in a good therapist with experience dealing with traumatic events. After a good, professionally guided walk down this road, then she might be ready for the experience you are hoping for. My $.02, take it for what it's worth.

First: thanks for the update! Keep going...this isn't a race so take your time. Probably the most important thing is that she KNOWS that IF anything happens it's okay with you. You won't judge her or think less of her whatever her decision is. Alot of women are afraid that their partner will say that something is okay but if it were to happen...they will think that they are a slut or a cheat or not 'good' enough for you. And once anything happens it allows the husband to do whatever he wants as well, or that the husband is just looking for a replacement for her. This is a big part of the 'trust' aspect. She needs to be able to trust you completely (and you her). Swinging is a team sport and can only be done successfully if approached as such. Everything you do should be done together and in total agreement. At the same time, some people (most people) just aren't 'wired' for it, and if she is one of those, then just enjoy the play you have. Let her know its her choice and whatever she chooses is okay with you. The seed is planted and it seems to have sprouted. Keep improving the communication and trust (there's never too much communication and trust) and see where things go from here...

I read this Guest Essay, as The Times now calls them, earlier today snd found it quite interesting. I’m a subscriber but last time I checked you could register and read several articles per week. (That may have changed.) The moderators here quite correctly don’t permit the posting of copyrighted material, but I’m sure the brief passage below, which is critical to the thrust of the essay, falls under the fair usage exemption to the law: "…according to Gallup, the majority of adults in the L.G.B.T.Q. community identify as bisexual, at 54.6 percent." I never would have guessed the percentage was nearly that high. Which leads to the writer’s point, that if they are to be accepted in both the LGBTQ and wider communities bisexuals need to be better about coming out than they have been.

It is a plea for bisexuals to come out. It theorizes that the main issue is lack of visibility, in that there are far more bi people than is recognized because they see no other bi folk in numbers so they remain closeted.

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/06/17/opinion/bisexuals-coming-out-anna-paquin.html?action=click&module=Opinion&pgtype=Homepage

Just don’t go there. Continue with voyeurism, girl on girl. A bad idea and entirely unnecessary. You can have adult fun without retraumatizing your wife. I am not a therapist, just a husband and swinger with experience.

IOHO, this crosses the line. Swinging is where everyone is involved with complete knowledge about what is going on...done out in the open with trust and love. When one or more are doing things that are kept secret, that is cheating. Cheating is done in the dark and behind your partners back, and is totally void of love and betrays trust. It is the exact opposite of swinging. She may not realize this, she may have just been trying to be a good friend, a kind voice and ear to listen, but she needs to be made aware of it. Please let us know how your talk goes.

Follow Zachary Zane on twitter, he's a hoot. Wife and I are out bisexuals. But it was relatively hidden until Bostock vs Clayton County. Since then you'll find us at Pride, at LGBT bars for burlesque/comedy/etc, and joined the LGBT org at work. In a swinging context I will say we've never encountered a straight woman. And not one man has turned down the offer for a dual blowjob...

If others are like us there will be a big boom. Locked up and isolated gave us time to figure out life is fragile. Healthy today on a respirator tomorrow, know people who exercise and eat healthy trying to always doing the right thing having their life cut short. Being together 24/7 gave us time to talk and have sex. We watched online porn with people having fun and our conversation went to the question of could you do that. We got to the part about transmitting diseases, here we were isolating did we want to tempt fate. Vaccinations done the talk was do I want sex with someone new. Vaginal or oral? I said sex is sex. A woman? Maybe. YOLO. We found a couple, strangers to us and after we did the deed we had no regrets. I shared my thoughts and deed with a very good friend telling her why we did it. She explained to her husband my thoughts. Didn’t take her long to say her husband wanted me. We put off swinging with them and suggested it would be better if they were with someone else first. Make sure first, we can wait. Boom? Well here are 2 new couples who have joined the LS after vaccination.

I appreciate your response very much. She Was the originator in our 1st experiences with a threesome with a woman, and even the one to express interest in going to events at the swingers clubs. She has always been bi Sexual. I have never before a couple of weeks ago ever thought that I would be OK with seeing my wife with another man because we had only ever talked about having a unicorn join us. As we met other couples and were on sites describing ourselves as soft swap started the conversation of what soft swap really meant. As we talked about different scenarios of whether we were OK with things happening and grading them on a yes, hard no, and maybe with discussion system. We found ourselves diving deeper into emotions. And I for the first time feeling so connected and In love with a woman That I was willing to put her pleasure and satisfaction on a level = my own. That being said my wife was willing to share an experiences with me with another woman, how could I ever deny her the experience or experiences if she desired to do that with another man. That's when the deeper details of her past came about and why my mind went to possibly having This different experience. She was the one that brought up Maybe finding someone she could trust to experience that with us, there was a Dungeon Master at 1 of the clubs we visited that we both liked and her experience with him made her feel very comfortable and safe. Someone like him she said that was used to respecting a womans limit, and at the moment a safe word was spoken, could back down immediately